#ive been angry oscillating between angry and sad pretty much the whole day

[lavender---sunshine]

i am so deep in my feelings right now, i both sad and mad enough that i cannot sleep

#ive been angry oscillating between angry and sad pretty much the whole day #i had a rare saturday off and i feel like i wasted half of it for my mom and she didnt appreciate it #i wanted to take her to somewhere new for brunch and a cool bookstore and to get our nails donw #and she drove like 30 minutes in the wrong direction and wouldnt listen to me and tried to blame it on me #im not allowed to be sick on my own. she has to be sick too. if i have a headache so does she and worse #if im nauseous in the afternoon she 'threw up' that morning. she'll say its something we ate even if we ate nothing in common #ive broken our in hives that keep popping up and the whole day she was acting as if she was itchy too AND dizzy. #we had to stop multiple times because she was so dizzy. im not saying she was lying but it stopped her from cleaning #she didnt want the original breakfast place near the bookstore and salon and when we got to the second one it was closed #found a third but she didnt want to deal with parking. went to option 4 and she didnt like her food. #she also kept asking me what she was getting instead of just ordering herself. 'what was it that i wanted? yes can you tell her i want xyz' #(and let me just say i have 0 patience left for people who cant do anything themselves. helplessness is a hard hard no for me #we didnt go to the bookstore or the salon and shes like oh okay tomorrow. i told her i had plans and shes like oh you always make plans #with your friends and none with me. Girlfriend. what are we doing right now? #went home to try to clean up our apartment and got overwhelmed when i realized i have to do everything myself because she no help #while she laid down and watched pitch perfect for the 1000th time #im also trying to figure out how to tell an ex friend i dont want them back in my life because theyre so much work #but i dont have room in my life to have that conversation. im also probably going to start looking for a different job soon #i just want my parents gone. my apartment furnished. free time. and a vacation.