#ive had similar convos w my transmasc and transfem nonbinary friends as well as like. my gnc binary trans friends

[transmaverique]

gonna be honest I see anyone talking about this "my gender is more complicated than yours" shit as someone who genuinely cannot comprehend that other people that don't share certain traits with them can still in fact have rich interior lives. as an agender trans woman who uses she/her I've never had anyone say it to me who wasn't (usually unknowingly) transmisogynistic

see but im not talking about "rich interior lives" and the assumption that i am is exactly what im talking about. i am talking about the actual physical way that reality treats and percieves me in comparison to the way it treats and percieves you. saying my gender is "more complex" means to me that i am physically incapable of existing in a strictly binary world and that there is no thing i can pass as bc "binary man" and "binary woman" are both incorrect for me. and the Cisiety in question does not allow androgyny to exist - it is exclusively the timeframe people have to decide whether they think you are a cisman or a ciswoman, or a failure and a freak. i dont subscribe to that "binary privilege" shit, thats not how privilege works. but there are differences in the ways both you and i can navigate this strictly binary Cisiety!!! and those differences deserve to be named, imo

like. again. i dont have to comfort you about your own internal sense of gender before youll listen to me about my experiences in the real world as genderqueer. as a different sort of transsexual than you.

(and bc i Know what binary ppl love to say: i know not everyone is 'capable of passing'. what i am talking about specifically is the difference between being unable to pass as a cis woman or a cis man vs being unable to pass bc what i am does not exist AT ALL in a binary society, and both of those things are incorrect ans unattainable.)

(anyways if that language is too imperfect for you thats like fine but. its just confusing to me, i dont get why its hard to understand what we are talking about here. our experiences w our nonbinary genders are completely different! why do i have to discuss them like theyre the same?)

#do you consider yourself transfem first or agender first on an internal level? #do you feel like you are predominantly treated as a trans woman in your day to day? does that hurt the part of you that is agender? #< not trying to grill u or anything im genuinely curious #ive had similar convos w my transmasc and transfem nonbinary friends as well as like. my gnc binary trans friends #i am just curious bc. like i said 'binary' isnt a bad thing to be and frankly since u identify urself as agender ur not really the target a #dience here anyways? #the idea that theres no such thing as a binary trans person just #fundamentally misunderstands the extremely broad swathe of nonbinary experiences and treatments #my passing transmasc enby friends dont particularly feel touched by transphobia unless theyre clocked or unless our areas laws changed #but some DO feel like they r effected by exorsexism on a day to day by being assumed to be binary men and having the other parts of their i #entities erased #while others are completely comfortable being percieved as strictly men and moving through life strictly as men #which is sounds like. i would guess youd have a similar position since u exclusively use she/her? #like.. it sounds to me like your 'rich interior life' doesnt really have an outward effect on the way people percieve and treat you and the #way you react to it which is very different from my experience #binary doesnt mean your gender is 'simple' it just means that you are comfortable within a binary system even of you dont personally identi #y with it. and maybe this is a case of 'political identity vs personal identity'?? #and all of this is FINE its just. literally every time i talk about my own unique positioning my transandrogyny or whatever gives me #people crawl out of the woodwork to tell me my experiences are not actually unique #do u see what my issue is? my own trans experiences are erased bc other people 'disagree' with . what. my perspective as an 'unaligned' enb #? when its like. literally none of us are gonna have the same needs or experiences as trans people #and if 'binary' works to show that you are fine and comfortable being percieved exclusively as a woman #and 'nonbinary' works to show i am not #i dont really see what the issue w using the word 'binary' is #like i said. its not a slur. its not a bad thing to be. #and tbh i think this insistence that 'unaligned' nonbinary ppls perspectives arent actually unique to binary or 'aligned' nonbinary ppls is #directly contributing to like. lateral bigotry coming from said 'unaligned' enbies. like if u put urself in my shoes for a second and u gre #up being constantly told you were either a cis invader who didnt actually have any trans experiences and that only people who want to 'full #transition' were REAL transsexuals then. youd be kinda jaded too right? and im sure you ARE kinda jaded lol. #anyways. sorry for rambling at you i dont have any more tags left lol