#jinshi's love for maomao is so *sound of me yelling and faoming at the mouth and breaking things*

[honeyviscera]

hrgh. it's just. jinshi's love for maomao is so palpable-- you can feel it. you can feel how far gone he is for her. it's in the way he looks at her, the things he does to get her attention, his care for her, his concern, how high he holds her in his regard, everything he does just for her. and it just keeps getting worse. watching the anime episodes out so far, i was already like oh. oh he loves her. then i read the manga, and his love only grows. with every passing chapter, you think, surely this man can't possibly fall harder, and then he does. he's so blatant about it too, even if he tries to keep it hidden, just how much he adores her, he simply can't because there's too much love. he doesn't know how to hold it.

and then i started the light novels from where the manga drops off. and jinshi's love for maomao only gets bigger. just reading about it is overwhelming: i can't imagine how much his pining presses at him, how much he is plagued by it. he's just so, so desperate for the first woman in his life who looked through all of his various masks, sliced him down to his core and saw him. he just wants to hold her, to be around her, to take care of her. this man is pining harder than anyone has pined before, or will ever pine. he's so far gone for her. it's pathetic. it's incredible. it's earth shattering.

and maomao. is so. deeply, horrendously, oblivious. she doesn't get it. she doesn't understand the significance of any of his actions, how she is the only one he does all of this for. why he gave her his hair stick, why he comes to save her when she's kidnapped, why he keeps visiting her. but you can see it: it's very slow, painfully so, but you can see she goes from being annoyed by him, to tolerating him, to enjoying his company. i'm only on the 5th light novel, so right now we aren't there yet. you can tell maomao doesn't know it yet. she says to herself she wants to touch the scar on jinshi's face to see how well her father stitched it up, but you, the reader, know. she's just begun to fall. this is the beginning. you know it's coming. she will not last. im so.

#ocean.mp3 #jinshi's love for maomao is so *sound of me yelling and faoming at the mouth and breaking things* #theyre going to be the death of me fr #the apothecary diaries