#joking on the hmu part serious aboit the rest. i never thought to just. look at pictures bc all ive looked at is my pics family but just.

[thewickerking]

do NOT hmu currently crying over pictures of el salvador rn

#joking on the hmu part serious aboit the rest. i never thought to just. look at pictures bc all ive looked at is my pics family but just. #like. streets. a marketplace. traffic. the beach. just women standing there i just. i. #............... im crying again #i.. its hard to explain. ive wanted to go my entire life. my mom was only able to visit once and she wants to go back so bad i just.... #i know its dumb but ive only ever thought about el salvador in the context of my mom and abuelitos stories. the farm. theres so much more #its just. its real. its not a dreamscape or a wish its living and breathing and real and it hurts because its so far away #and im so far away. for so many reasons. i.... i miss it. i know its stupid bc ive never been but its just. its my family. and not the #family i have up here who abandoned me despite the resources to help and so many other awful things. those people are blood but not family #every message from el salvador has been full of love and they loved my mother so much and ill never get her experience. because money #i just. my chest aches. its real its real its real. #and i dont get to be there. and yet i want to. #.ares