#like 6 months post text-based sex/ill adised video now aha and we've not spoke at all since like january and that was 'how was hols'

[deeisace]

..

#sorry sorry I just woke up and im having yesterday-was-weird thought again #and they are going here so i don't have to talk to the person that they're um about yet #basically im glad that im in a good enough space now that um #someone ive ive had text-based sex with and uhhh sent an ill-advised video to in like oct when i was Feeling Bad™ and doing. hm. too much. #like 6 months post text-based sex/ill adised video now aha and we've not spoke at all since like january and that was 'how was hols' #they asked to meet up 'not for sex just as friends' or i forget exact wording but basically that #no-pressure museum not-a-date #and i said I'd think about it. because i am as everyone knows a fucking idiot. #basically im glad that im in a better place now than the last time someone like expressed an interest in me as a person #because while this did give me a day long wobble i didn't have a full weekend long actual panic about it #tho they are two v different situs #an ace poly friend asking to go out with me vs someone i uh virtually fucked aha um asking to meet up for (mostly) being-friends purposes #same several-hours-later 'oh god no what have i done bad bad bad no thank you actually no sorry i cant sorry' but less intense this time #but at least i only said ill think about it? #and not actually immediately said yes because it's nice to feel wanted #and then gone Maximum Regret™ because actually all of this is way too much i don't like it i don't want it thank you but im sorry no #weird. i guess i don't have such a high baseline stress level any more? since i'm not at uni n stuff #and someone over messages going no pressure you want to be irl friends (maybe fwb no pressure)? is um #is different. to someone irl going you want to go out acely? yeah? awesome lets hold hands here is the discord with a whole buncha people #i guess #but i am being equally aro-not-super-ace Autism™ about it aha #and i am. eventually. going to be like. thought about it and no sorry. eventually. #if they ask again #i am kinda hoping they'll leave it there and forget they asked so i don't have to navigate social stuff #im much better at navigating canals everybody leave me alone please thank you #(everybody over there leave me alone. y'know. you guys are fine.)