#like hozier didn’t write take me to church and make THAT music video coming from a very catholic country

[darkwingsofimagination]

One Shot: The Only Heaven I’ll be Sent to Is When I’m Alone With You

Author: Dark Wings Of Imagination.

Genre: Angst/Hurt/Comfort/Romance

Rating: M

Summary: "Élise Duguay is undoubtedly your safe haven. She's been your friend for just as long as she's been one of your backing vocals and every day you thank God for having someone so wonderful, and that understands you in every sense in your life as a friend and a work colleague.

[...]

Élise was way too easy to fall for. The woman's caring nature can draw anyone in and her smile, oh her smile, you think it could probably end wars - and great, now you're using love clichés to describe her, c'mon Dion, you're better than that."

A/N: Okay, this is a bit scary for me, but I'm doing it anyway. This is the first story written for these two - at least I didn't find any other stories and I really searched for it - and before anyone comes here to tell me I'm crazy and/or disrespectful, let me just tell you guys I've been a proud Céline Dion fan for close to TEN years now, anyone that follows me on tumblr or have read some of my older fan fiction knows that, so that being said this is a work of FICTION, it all comes from my vivid imagination and I have no intention to offend anyone. I have the utter most respect and admiration for Céline (she's my HERO) and Élise, but my muse also seems to find them really cute whenever they interact with each other. I do hope I made them justice and that I was able if anything to deliver a good story.

P.S: As for my ongoing Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D fan fiction I'll be going back to writing it soon, I promise.

P.S: Inspired by Hozier's 'Take Me to Church'

P.S: Sorry if I may have sounded a bit harsh on my AN.

Dark Wings...

Élise Duguay is undoubtedly your safe haven. She's been your friend for just as long as she's been one of your backing vocals and every day you thank God for having someone so wonderful, and that understands you in every sense in your life as a friend and a work colleague. 

With every passing day you grow closer, and as reassuring and wonderful as it is to have someone you can trust to know you so well it becomes quite challenging dealing with your feelings towards it, towards her – and also trying to hide it. Even more so after her divorce, that only served to fill your already love-struck heart with hope.

Élise was way too easy to fall for. The woman's caring nature can draw anyone in and her smile, oh her smile, you think it could probably end wars - and great, now you're using love clichés to describe her, c'mon Dion, you're better than that.  

Cliché or not, you truly believe that her smile has the power to win anyone or anything over. And her eyes, her beautiful green eyes that make you feel as if they are looking into your soul and whenever she looks at you you're pretty sure she can see right through you, that she knows exactly what you feel for her - and maybe that's a little bit your fault, because in all honesty you can't control the love for her that shines through your eyes whenever you're together or her name's mentioned. 

Her voice is a complete masterpiece, and every time she calls your name or sings – both with you at the stage or alone – your heart skips a beat. She is so incredibly talented and extremely humble about it. She could be a well-known singer, have her own career, sing her own songs, instead she rather be away from the spotlight and support you – and sometimes you do wonder why is that, however, as selfish as it may be, you thank God she chose that, if only because you get to be closer to her. 

You are completely and irrevocably in love with this amazing woman, and you don’t think anyone could blame you for that, really. Wherever she goes she leaves her mark, every one that meets her, if only for a few minutes, is awestruck by her – and not only for her beauty or personality but for her soul; anyone she meets she gives a piece of herself in a way and it changes people’s lives. She changes yours a bit more every day.  

You are very much aware of how you got it bad for her and while your heart may be at peace with all these feelings, your mind is not.

You've only ever been and loved one man, and ever since he's gone, you have not felt really right in your own skin, except when you're with your family, performing or with Élise - which is probably the root of your denial of your feelings for her. 

Whenever you and your backing singer are alone you are filled with a happiness and warmth, a love, that you haven't felt in ages, and once you're alone with your own thoughts guilt eats you up inside, making you feel as though you are betraying the one man who loved you. 

And in a way you do feel you are betraying him, and in the worst way possible, because you wish you could say that your feelings towards the other woman are new, that the way she leaves you breathless whenever she takes your hand or hugs you is new, you wish you could say that this is out of need to be loved, to be taken care of. 

But you can't and that's what angers you even more: The fact that you know you have been falling for her, for years now. That for years you've had your heart divided in two, but aware that your feelings for her only increased. 

You love him, always did and always will do, but you weren't in love with him anymore for quite some time now. You never divorced him, not out of guilt but because you loved him, he was the best man you ever knew and one of the best people and he will always have the most special place in your heart and memory. 

You wish you could say that her being a woman wasn't a reason why you are having such a hard time accepting this, also. But that would be a lie. For someone as accepting of others as you are, you sure need to learn to be more accepting of yourself. It’s a lot easier, though, to support others, than to try and come to terms with yourself.

Of course you pictured the two of you together, happy for the entire world to see, but you couldn’t help but also try to picture people’s reactions. What would your mother think? Your children? Your brothers and sisters? Your fans?

You do know you should not be using hypothetical reactions as a means to stop you – it just makes you feel like a coward - nevertheless you do, if only because it’s a probably better reason than “You are sure she only sees you as a great friend.” Which is likely the truth, however it does sound dumb.   

Regardless, there's simply too much at stake here. You have too much to lose and most importantly you could lose her as well. You would rather be her friend forever than not have her in your life at all. 

It hurts you, though, to see her, to be with her, to hold her and not be the way you actually want it to be. Like Adele would say ‘Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead’  

You lost count of how many sleepless nights you've had when all you could think about was her. Holding her, kissing her, caressing her, touching her, imagining how she would smile at you before saying how much she loved you and capturing your lips in an earth shattering kiss.  

You would give anything to have her, if only for a night, to love her and worship her the way you believe she deserves, to put into action all the words your heart wants to say but your mind won't allow it. 

Some nights you grant yourself the privilege of imagining what would be like. You wonder how she would respond to a simple brush of your fingers on her heated skin, her eyes glazed with the same intense desire you feel. 

You wonder what she would sound like while you lavished her body with kisses and caresses. Her arms reaching out for you, her hands finding your face and bringing it down to hers, crashing your lips together, her nails leaving their trail on your back as you kiss until both of your lungs burn for air.

You would explore her body with your lips, leaving light feathers kisses in your wake, gentle touches that would drive her – and you as you listen to the sounds she emits – insane, you would take your sweet time before finally going to where she wanted you and needed you most.

You wonder what she would like coming undone in your arms, you wonder if she would chant your name - you hope so - or if she would just bite her lips to keep whatever incoherent thoughts she might have inside. 

As vivid and creative as your imagination can be you are sure that if it were to ever happen it would surpass any and every expectative of yours, you are certain it would be one of the happiest moments of your life, however, you do think that simply being in her arms would be just as blissful.

She haunts you day and night; she plagues your every thought. This love consumes you and burns you inside and out. It controls you. It took over your life in a way you can’t barely comprehend, let alone try and begin to explain.

On a few occasions you are able to contain it, and it gets at least bearable, but most of the times you are not. Your feelings - both your love for her and your self-loathing - overwhelm you; they leave you gasping for air. Making you feel as if you are drowning, and you believe some way, somehow, you must be.

 And it’s on a night where you are sure you will end up driving yourself insane, that you decide to try and deal with this the best way you know how: through music. While scrolling through YouTube – yes, YouTube, not iTunes or Spotify, you like watching people sing, and you like well-made video clips – you find a song that while you did heard it before you’ve had never really paid attention to its lyrics, you hit play and once you focus on it you can’t stop the tears falling from your eyes.

You completely break down, for the first time in quite some time you finally let yourself cry your heart out, you do so through the entire song and once it’s over, you download the song and you let it on repeat. You cry yourself to sleep, the song playing through your ear buds and Élise once more tormenting your dreams.

You keep humming the song all the time. You include it in your sound checks to try and feel how it might sound live. Singing, if only, a few lines each day do help you a bit, at least up until when you and Élise are left alone, then, my friend, there’s not a song or deity that could help you.

The first time you sing it, Élise looks at you in a way she never did before, she looks at you as is she just now is really seeing you and stirs something deep inside of you, you have to look away from her otherwise you would end up doing something you could regret.

You sense she wants to ask you about the song, but for whatever reason she doesn’t, and you are grateful for it, you don’t know what you would do or say in case she did. You could always lie, you are aware of that; you don’t like it, though. Telling the truth is not a piece of cake, either, so yes, you’re glad she doesn’t question you about it.

It is a couple months after the first time you sang it when you decide to perform it live. You are already on stage, halfway through your concert, it’s not planned and you have not rehearsed save for the times the band followed you in sound checks, and you have no idea how it may sound, however all of your feelings are overwhelming you, and it feels as if you might pass out in the middle of the stage if you don’t find a way to calm down immediately.  

You at least manage to time it for after one of your quick speeches, this way it at least gives you the opportunity to check with the band without having to interfere in one of your own songs.

“Not long ago I listened to a song, that I believe many of you know, and it’s a really powerful song; its melody and lyrics touched me deeply, honestly, it’s so addictive I haven’t be able to stop singing it and I’ve been dying to perform it live” you say, giving a small sideway smile for the audience.

Turning around to your band, you listen your brother saying ‘what the hell?’ in your ear and you chuckle silently, your eyes find Élise’s and you take a small moment to catch your breath before asking “and I know guys, we didn’t rehearse it, but uhm, could we try?” thankfully to your love of the song they do know their way around it and they give you their green light “Yes? You are the best, this is ‘Take Me to Church’. Hit it, Kevin”

The entire audience was shocked once they recognized the song, but by the moment you hit the first note everybody was hypnotized. Your emotions overflowed you and for the first time in a long time you allowed them to come out, you let them take over your body, mind and voice. You don’t think you ever sang with such raw emotion, you loved it.

 You give permission for every single thought of her to come to surface, all of the moments together, every word, every look, every smile, every precious hug, and most importantly the moment that ignited this performance.

Just prior to you entering the stage Élise came to you, all of the others musicians and singers were already on their positions, but she stayed behind and when you noticed you were already enveloped in her arms, she wished you a great show before leaning and kissing your forehead, and as if that wasn’t enough to throw you off balance she said 'I love you, and only then did she go. 

Of course, she has expressed the sentiment before, but never like this. There was the casual 'love ya' or 'love you', but never 'I love you' and never with so much written on her eyes. The way she looked at you while she say it, the way she held you and the way she kissed you, God, you didn’t know how to deal with it.

You entered the stage flustered and for a few moments you almost forgot how to breathe, it took you a few minutes to try and recompose yourself, but you did it. Singing always helps and never in your life has ‘I Surrender’ meant so much to you.  

Singing your regular set list wasn’t enough though, and as unsure as you were you couldn’t be happier by the your fan’s response to your performance, even in your fogged brain you could hear a great part of the crowd singing along with you, and it just made your heart soar.

Once you’re finish the last verse you open your eyes and can’t stop the tears that come down at seeing the standing ovation – usually, you don’t care much for it, but this one has a complete different meaning for you – and when you turn to thank the band you see that they, too, are standing.

Your eyes lock with Élise’s, her green eyes filled with unshed tears of admiration and love and her smile was the most beautiful you have ever seen, she looks just so damn proud of you, and your heart melts. You smile in return through your tears, heart beating wildly. It takes everything in you not to run to her and take her in your arms. 

The affection you see in her tear filled eyes leaves you breathless and you struggle not to tune out the rest of the world. You turn around to face your public and go on with the show, her smile engraved and the only thing in your mind throughout the night.  

… 

When you're finished with the concert, you thank the audience and go backstage, you thank everyone over the speakers and go to your dressing room to change – for as relaxed as you were after you sang ‘Take Me to Church’, you are beginning to tense up and your dress feels as if it’s suffocating you. You do a few breathing exercises and it works – at least you are finally finding ways to control your emotions.

You've just finished changing, and are checking around so everything’s in place before leaving, when there's a knock on your door. 

You hope and fear it is Élise – you hope it’s her because all you want and need is to have her in your arms, you fear it’s her because you are sure she will end up asking questions you don’t want to answer. And when you open the door it is her. She has already changed out of her stage outfit as well, removed her make up and let her hair down - and for some reason, you don't think she ever looked so beautiful to you. Again with the clichés, sometimes I question my vocabulary, or as it seems when it comes to her, my lack thereof.

She steps in the room and swiftly engulfs you in her embrace, you return the hug, letting your head fall to her shoulder, she does the same and kisses your cheek - and you're pretty sure she can feel your heartbeat quicken, but this moment with her is all you wanted from the moment you stepped onto the stage tonight.

Your hold each other for several minutes, she seems to be comfortable in your embrace just as much as you are in hers – and that notion overcomes you with warmth. You don't let go of her completely, but you take a step back to look at her when you hear her sniff. 

She is crying and even if you don't know why, it breaks your heart. You wipe her tears and tighten your hold on her, if only slightly, before asking what's wrong. 

"It's nothing. You were amazing up there tonight." She says, choking slightly at her words. 

"Thank you, but, c'mon I know there is something wrong. You know you can tell me anything" , you thank her because you know the compliment is real, however there’s something she doesn’t want to tell you.

"I know. I just- is just- the song left me really emotional, sorry" She explains and you sense it’s not the whole truth but it is part of it, so you’ll let this one go. 

"You don't have to apologize, that song touches me too. I just don't like seeing you cry" , you decline her excuse, and wipes more tears, tenderly caressing her face.

"I know, I hate when you do, too" she smiles, stretching her hand to catch a tear you didn’t even notice had fallen.

She runs her thumbs over your cheeks, mirroring your action, gazes locked on each other, you’re certain she is able to figure you all out entirely, and it makes you want to run, you can’t move, though, because she still has her arms around you and from the look on her face she can sense your inner turmoil and in spite of that she doesn’t let go even if lightens her hold on you, silently giving you a chance to get out in case you truly need it and at the same time she conveys that no matter what happens she’s here for you.  

When your panicked mind realizes what she wants you to see you instantly relax and sink further in her embrace. You whisper a ‘thank you’ you are not sure she hears, nonetheless she does hold you a bit tighter.

Your cell phone beeps breaking the moment and you know it's well past the time you go home, but you don't think you're ready to let go of her just yet, so you make an offer: 

"Want a ride home?" 

"There's no need" she declines, and while you’re not one for begging you know she doesn’t want to let go of you just yet, as well, if her arms around your waist and her head tucked under your chin is any indication.

"C'mon, please?" 

"Okay"  she finally agrees and you smile at her. Needless to say she smiles back at you

Reluctantly you let go of each other and gather your things before going to the car. You inform your driver of the little detour to drop her off, and in less than a minute you are inside the car and going home – and when you think of it, you come to the conclusion you wouldn’t mind going home with her and to her every night. 

You thank God, for the amazing employees you have, because once both of you are inside, your driver decides to lift the privacy screen up. You're more than happy with that. Both of you are extremely vulnerable and the last thing you need is people meddling in this - whatever this may be. 

You open your arms and she makes herself comfortable in your embrace.

There's something in the air and you're not quite sure of what it is, but no matter you feel like, maybe, just maybe, things are about to change - you just hope is for the better. 

Her head is resting on your shoulder, her arms are circling your waist and you have your around her, she is as close to you as ever, and you feel as though you're in heaven. Until the moment she asks the question you dreaded. 

"Why that song?" she asks so quietly you almost don’t hear it.

"Why not? It's a beautiful song." Way to go, Dion.

"I know, but you never perform a song without a reason"  she replies and damn her for knowing you so well.

"That's the reason: I like the song" it’s not as confident as before and she senses as well. 

"You really don't want to tell me."  She says a hint of wonder in her voice, but mostly you can make out the hurt.

"There's nothing to tell" you insist, hating yourself for it. 

"I know you. But, that's okay, I won't push" and you’ve never felt so relived at hearing these words.

"Thank you" you say and drops a kiss on head, and it’s shortly after that she shows just how much she knows you – and in a way doesn’t.

"Whoever she is, she's a lucky girl." You can hear her choke on her words slightly and when you look up you see her eyes brimming with unshed tears and you try to discover why’s that, 

"But I-" you begin, but she cuts you off .

"I know you, and there's nothing wrong with what you're feeling" she says and it breaks your heart, because you can sense she is hurting, and this gives you hope, hope that maybe this isn't one sided. 

She is a complete fool for thinking you could be in love with anyone else other than her. You just hope you read the signs right, because what you're about to do is absolutely scary and it could ruin everything if you're wrong - but not once were you wrong about her or her feelings, when it comes to you she can be very transparent when she wants. 

It takes all of your strength and courage – it also takes a lot of shushing your brain – but you do it, the scariest, most brave thing you ever dreamed of doing: you gently lift her chin up, her perfect eyes – that were all that you could see at the moment – shining with unshed tears and love, so much love, a love you know your own eyes mirror, giving you the silent permission and you lean down.

Your lips meet, briefly at first, a merely brush, but then she’s the one leaning into you, her hands going around your neck pulling you closer, and you just melt into her.

The feeling of having her pressed against you is like heaven and to be inside her arms like that is the epitome of contentment, you thought so until you feel her deepen the kiss, tongues meeting gently, slowly exploring each other's mouth and you feel your entire being melting into her. You break apart through small kisses but not letting go of the other's embrace. Her lips are kiss swollen, and yours must be too, you think, her hair is bit disheveled and her blouse a bit out of place but she's wearing the most beautiful smile you've ever seen, you can feel the happiness emanating from her, you've never felt so fulfilled, so loved.

You hug her and for a while you stay like this, soaking in each other, trying to translate to her everything you feel for through your hold on her. She holds you tight, really, really tight and you think that just like you she is afraid that somehow this is not real, she is clinging to you as if you might fade and so you tighten your hold and whispers 'I love you' in her ear leaving a kiss there, you can feel her smile when she hears you,  and you can also feel the way her body shivered when your lips connected with her ear, and you smile to herself, it's good to know you have the same effect on her as she has on you.

She kisses your ear, your cheek, the corner of your mouth and then finally your lips before saying 'I love you, so much' and both of you smile for a simple a reason as being there.

The road ahead of you is not easy, and there’s still so much you need to talk about, so much both of you need to come in terms with, and you will do all of those things. Later.

For the moment, the rest of this wonderful night, you want to be in her arms and hold her in yours, you want to bask in this feeling of complete bliss and happiness. The Earth and all its chaos still are going to be here when you wake up in the morning.

 You are going to enjoy Heaven while you still can.

#céline dion #élise duguay #fanfiction #Dark Wings #celine dion #elise duguay