#like if i was hugely wealthy on my own terms and wasn't relying on my husband's generosity

[hairtusk]

if i had a massive amount of inherited wealth that was mine alone, i'd become a stay-at-home-mother in a heartbeat tbh

#like if i was hugely wealthy on my own terms and wasn't relying on my husband's generosity #i'd have kids and spend six-ish years raising them hands-on (with maybe a nanny to help every now and then) #then i'd get back into writing when my body had fully recovered and hire them several tutors to homeschool them #in the grounds of my enormous country manor #alas. rather bleak times to become a mother happening out there. #i was looking at carrie johnson's instagram after reading an article about 'mumfluencing' #and yeah her life seems nice. except she was no source of income and is living on the kindness of a well-documented adulterer #but if i could live like her while being entirely self-reliant i would 🤷‍♀️

[honeybeekao]

can u tell me kaoru lore

aight hello hi len everytime im put on the spot i immediately forget anything and everything ive ever known SO

kaoru hakaze; a fail dissertation.

where do i start... i suppose we begin with his family right? why the fuck he's the way he is? suresies that works!

so he's the youngest out of 3 siblings, with an older brother and sister. and his mom died the year before he started high school (wow fun.) his dad owns a huge family business and theyre Pretty wealthy, like rich as hell meet the tenshouin zaibatsu at gatherings.

SO his mom was the most influential person to him i think, at least that's why he seeks affection and validation so much. she was a marine biologist and took him to the aquarium/beach a lot when he was a kid!! he misses her so much :(

his dad's strict and an asshole i will throw him into the sea ANYWAY he doesn't support kaoru in wanting to be an idol, and they constantly argue whenever around eachother. so like during all of his time at yumenosaki, kaoru avoided going home for as long as possible.

he's supposed to take on the business but kaoru Doesnt wanna do that, and won't so <3 thanks rei (encouraged him to strive towards his dream more, even though he was let into UNDEAD under permission to never attend practice and do whatever he pleased. he started showing up at some point and found his footing with it)

I HAVENT READ SUSTAINED MEMORIES but i know he loves and cherishes his older sister, and feels extremely guilty in general about his siblings. since he's allowed to kinda fuck around while they aren't. there's a line i see from a quote bot and the story that makes me lose it

"We took all the trouble to pretty her up, but my sister — she said ‟I'm sorry, Kaoru-chan”... and she started crying, ruining her makeup.

I mean, why was she apologizing to me? Me, who shoved all the heavy burdens onto my big brother and sister and simply just ran away."

he's guilty about running away from the family problems and this brings me over to how he feels guilt!

kaoru's an extreme overthinker. he does it without realizing, but won't really say anything about it.. and he more-or-less shoulders everything on his own because he doesn't wanna burden others with it. he's present, but not entirely and that's why a lot of people can't really read him. he's really carefree, and tries to brighten up every conversation if he can. one of his big skills is being a good conversationalist.. like adonis even asks him for advice on how to talk to people. he's good with people!!! which makes me go crazy because he would help others out even if it was annoying, but he doesn't wanna rely on others. also doesn't like being babied or treated like he can't stand on his own

in 2nd year he dated girls as like his one hobby (feels mean to call it that but it wasn't like he was ever serious. it was his way of seeking validation, while maintaining a simple persona of popularity. then at some point he was like all in love with anzu and decided she was the only person he cared about. he's a tad cringe <3) having this persona of being a playboy who doesn't care about anything was like, a way to set up so many walls. it meant he didn't ever commit to Any close relationships, had no support, and was just generally sad?? he's a sad character but so carefree and loving Sigh. anyway, in 3rd year he starts working towards being a better person. with the help of UNDEAD, and shows hurt when people assume terrible things of him.

he wants to be reliable, wants to be someone people like, and this gets easier as he moves on and comes to terms with things. i'm sure graduation without his mom to cheer him on was rough, but he has friends now!! and a supportive partner in the idol world (him and rei basically both carry tasks in the unit. he expresses that he doesn't want rei doing everything on his own n such because Um. that isn't fair to rei what the hell he's helping whether you like it or not)

i also believe he's aro with a romance fixation because what else screams that than... knowing So Much about dates, but not being able to ever properly fall in love. or explain what it is. in date plan he has a crisis over the fact he actually doesnt understand girls at all despite his history. oh kaoru, i love you sooo much

he has the prettiest hair ever mwah

#kaoru hakaze #im in love with him #lennie 🐻