#like literally whenever something ungood happens to me I go 'that didn't happen'

[there-will-be-a-way]

Some part of me is longing for the good ol days right after my DID diagnosis. When I had a cringe af system blog (someone inside insists it wasn't cringe so that's up to debate) and would actually try my best to work with my parts and get to know them - and talked to people irl about DID stuff. Nowadays I don't try to get to know anything about my parts. Like, not even names. I'm just like "Be quiet and don't interrupt my life, it's all just in my head anyway". But. I'm realizing that I miiiiiiiight need to change that, and actually treat my parts with compassion because 🙃 i've been a dick.

- Elias

#personal posts #dissociative identity disorder #I get hung up on 'don't make parts more seperate than they are' and act like it means 'deny parts a place in my life' #hmmmmmmmnnnnnnnn #maybe i could start signing posts again #part of me insists on making a side blog just for DID stuff where all of my parts can talk #maybe I'll do that as a sign of good will #and as a start to stop denying #because denial is literally my worst trait #i deny everything #someone insulted me? that didn't happen #like literally whenever something ungood happens to me I go 'that didn't happen' #i'm realizing I'm not whole when I don't work with parts #so much of me is missing #(I had to look at baby naming lists in order to find a name lmao #because so far I refused to get one because that would mean admitting I have dissociated parts) #one of my parts just called me 'Dirk' which is... #no. #Elias tag #(and when I say 'I' in that post I mean the former everyday life parts) #i looked at some of my art today and I wonder where they went #who did they change into?