#like. each ccs story has different ways to represent the lack of control or freedom that the island has imposed on them

[time-is-restored]

im so emotional abt q!baghera's response to finding her room btw... she wasn't physically trapped anywhere (at least, not that ive been able to gather) she just.. couldn't move. couldn't think. doesn't remember any of it, completely blacked out.

it's like. even beyond the horror of realising you have this entire past that you don't recall, and that your previous escape just ended up with you trapped in the same place again. that sense of a lack of control must be SO amplified by suddenly discovering you have a stress response so intense you lose entire days. weeks, even, iirc?

would she have ever remembered any of that if whoever left her those co-ords hadn't decided to lead her back? one of the books she found mentioned a 'severely outdated' profile - did they do this to her just so they could update her file??? like! holy shit!

#qsmp #q!baghera #so far this is tied w ja/iden for my favourite fed storyline #like. each ccs story has different ways to represent the lack of control or freedom that the island has imposed on them #and different ways that effects them. but the sheer horror of. not ONLY no longer being able to trust ur memories #but knowing that even when you achieved the thing you had dreamed of *since you were a child* #you never really left. they got you back. you always come back. #u don't even have the security of being able to control/prediction ur reactions. u could just black out whenever they want u to...