#listening to math rock havin sacred t4t-tism supper w kota n friend. after fun afternoon w asia 🫶 it’s foggy out too

[dykestache]

i am actually surrounded by so much love it’s incredible i can’t believe that i ever thought life was supposed to feel more lonely and isolated in order to model adulthood or productivity (and also just in general that life was meant to be somewhat loveless in pursuit of survival essentially)….i have things of value to add in my classes and in fields of research that are still expanding….i am rediscovering my love for learning after having it nearly ripped from me as well as (or rather in addition to) my entire sense of safety at school….i noticed a sticky note on the monitor in the manager office when i arrived to my orientation that said “when interviewing - try to pick out the superstars, we have -a lot- of applications” and it made me realize i am successful/noticeably rly advocated for myself at my interview and i feel like i’m genuinely compensated for what my labor is worth…i am forming a local close knit genuine network of support and friendship and community and it’s really really exciting…my metals prof from last semester micro-welded my glasses back together today as a favor and he was really glad to see me and i just like..asked for aid and received it! he was excited to use his micro-weld kit too lol it was sweet ;w; i woulda taken his metals II but i have a dire art ed class at the same time…that class is sooo good tho ugh i love being in a room composed of weirdos talking abt rly compelling topics re: disability/theory/art/etc…spending time with people who i am completely myself around and feeling them let their guard down too and i’m not scared of my classmates anymore…oscar is so sweet n snuggly lately..i’ve been moving (skating) regularly and now my appetite is coming back after so long…i feel like i’m at a little checkpoint of visualizing the healing i’ve done..like a little break in the clouds and i’m still eating tums every day but i’m still trying very very hard like more than i ever have before and it’s paying off it’s really beautiful i never wanna give up….

#long post sorry i’m h*gh and thinkign #listening to math rock havin sacred t4t-tism supper w kota n friend. after fun afternoon w asia 🫶 it’s foggy out too