#literally i need ans want therapy so bad..... no insuranc

[panuccispizza]

I received a phone call the other day where my dad was with his neighbor? and he was just trying to wish happy Thanksgiving but for some reason within the conversation he slipped up on my pronouns and was trying to be supportive while also outing me to this stranger by also fucking up on the wording and just misgendering me. but the neighbor got upset at him and me And started telling him to hang up the phone, and she kept trying to make a point to misgender me but she was gendering me correctly, just being transphobic about it. and it was kind of funny but also I cried the other day (hard) and I still feel flat and empty but I'm forced to go into my barely passable service job otherwise I get punished for black friday

#every year it seems like i cant catch a break around thanksgiving all my displacement is in late november #im exhausted and i dont know how to tell my dad i accept his stupidity because i know hes not going to be any better than he is now. #but its unacceptable to talk about someone like that and no i do NOT know this woman i dont care if i met her ONCE. #and its just annoying like im sick of being trans because im sick of worrying about being wrong all the time and every single fucking thing #that i do is wrong like im always fucking wrong #like dad you and mom did a hand in giving me fucking COMPLEX TRAUMA and ive been working on healing and taking care of myself #because i want to be able to live a normal life. i want things and fulfillment. #my brother was able to go into the army to get the easy pass out of poverty and im probably going to kill myself by 30 #literally i need ans want therapy so bad..... no insuranc