#lol i even kinda understood where day was coming from in ep11 because mhok never mentioned the nightmares and flashbacks and stuff

[keepthetension]

still stuck on mhok's trauma, unsurprisingly. i keep thinking about the opening scenes of this show, showing us day losing his sight, and mhok losing rung. i really thought that the show would spend equal time and care on both

my first post about this show was pointing out that the first shot of day is a close up of his eyes, and the first time we see mhok, he's holding something in his mouth. and i thought it was so interesting that we see mhok gagged, because society generally doesn't care what people who've been incarcerated have to say. or poor people. and by and large, it doesn't care about the voices of traumatized people, either

and i was so curious to see what the show was going to do with that. i can't believe the show itself was never really interested in what mhok has to say

and i'm stuck on mhok's time in hawaii. the show highlighted over and over again how poor he is, and we know that he didn't like studying. what are his english skills like? we saw singha there, and i think one other thai person. was that the extent of his social circle? he seemed pretty happy to leave hawaii behind, so did he make no new friends? did he spend his days off just sitting in his room by himself, the way day did when he went to songkla with mhok?

i assume he and porjai were still in touch, but he moved abroad at a time when his ptsd was getting worse, and in the wake of a terrible breakup, and he just walked all of that off? alone???

feeling overly protective and over-responsible is absolutely an understandable trauma response for mhok, but you know what else is? losing a relationship, and feeling like you HAVE to go back and fix it, and that if you can just get a do-over, you'll be able to do everything perfectly this time, and you'll get everything right, and everything will be okay! this makes more sense to me in the final episode than the idea of mhok and day having a happily ever after does

#last twilight the series #last twilight #the thing is i don't think his healing journey had to be explicitly shown and there was plenty you could kind of infer #like going from dumping porjai so he doesn't drag her down to telling day he's done playing games and WILL ask him out at the finish line #that's a big step! it says a lot about his headspace and how he sees himself! #but i started getting nervous when PORJAI told day about rung OFFSCREEN. mhok didn't even share that himself! and it wasn't her place tbh! #lol i even kinda understood where day was coming from in ep11 because mhok never mentioned the nightmares and flashbacks and stuff #and you CAN hide that stuff from a sighted partner too ofc but it made sense that day'd wonder what else mhok could hide from him like i ge #why that'd make day feel extra vulnerable! but no somehow the breakup was ALL about pity? i still don't totally get that tbh. and all the #trauma stuff was just pushed under the rug?? and i wonder if day was pitying mhok by insisting he take the opportunity to go abroad #like: you're poor when else are you going to get an opportunity like this? i don't THINK that's what was happening but i can't unthink it #idk my heart just aches for mhok #the quadruple whammy of poverty + trauma + classism + incerceration and i thought all of that would play a bigger role #also by the way ptsd is a disability too!