#lps100 game logs

[nerd-breached-containment]

Peasant vs. King’s Court - LPS100 plays Cuphead: Log #13

After countless deaths and shenanigans, from a carnation distracting me with his handsome look, a genie‘s puppet turning the fight into a living hell, a gorgon who kept gazing me with her poked out eyes and letting the eels take liberties on me, to a fucking dragon whose innocent look hide his relenteless power to turn a what it seems to be easy fight into a seemingly neverending living nightmare of hell, taking days just to end him.

It’s no secret that I didn’t had that much high hopes that I would get to Inkwell Hell with only two bosses who surpassed the 45 death mark and another two who surpassed the 80 death mark, one of which got all the way up to 129 deaths and kicks in my ass. But I’m now at Inkwell Hell, got all the coins, all the Charms, all the Weapons, and I’m ready to take on King Dice and his Court, and then, the bitch himself, the Devil.

But no one knew, not even myself, that King Dice himself would bring up a fight all because of damned bet.

I will be honest: I forgot all about King Dice’s Court. I couldn’t remember any names aside from Phear Lap and not even their look and what did they do I could remember - I was about to walk in pool of blindness.

In the roulette, there’s in total of 9 mini-bosses, each with their own gimmick, assholeness and a safe space after 3 bosses, all ready to kick my ass or send me in a hellish spiral of death.

I’m going to stand up and say that the dice is timed. If you time your parry to get the number you want, you can get it, but if the edge is oh-so a little to the right, you will get whatever is on the right side, vice-versa when it’s turning to the opposite way. This would’ve been fine if it wasn’t for the fact that some of the bosses are...fucking christ, I tried my utter best to avoid it either because I would get annhilated by them or they would wreck me to oblivion.

Even when I had a stratgy or when the board had an excellent HP Up placement, I would often fail to get the number and either be forced to retry or deal with the fucker, hope to god that I survive the damn bastard.

And sometimes, King Dice would feel pity for me and add an HP Up on a piace of shit that I wish to avoid, how cute of you, King Dice.

Now, who were the bitches? Let’s go one by one, each will have a range from 1-5 on how much I avoided them and how much I hate them and why

Tipsy Troop:

Avoidance: 3

Hatred: 3

Why?:

As much as I rarely got them, I would avoid them at best. They supposedly get easier as you go through the fight but I didn’t noticed that big of a difficulty difference.

The bottles that sprayed wine in a horizontal and vertical manner would often get me everytime, specially the vertical one because I for some reason, couldn’t hear that big of a sound cue for it, and I rely a lot on sound cues when it comes to a focus-demanding battle.

I died a couple of times and I ended up in trying to avoid them at best.

Chips Bettigan:

Avoidance: 4

Hatred: 5

Why?:

Fuck this piece of shit, oh my god. I don’t what I kept doing, I don’t know if I had the wrong weapon or something, it would ALWAYS take forever just to end this fucker.

Sometimes, I would jump too high when it required a medium jump, sometimes, I wouldn’t notice the fucking lower chips and get fucked, sometimes, I would duck but I would be right below him. Yes, I could fucking dash but that would make it worse. I would often dash into him or not have enough space to avoid the rest.

And his.fucking.voice... jesus fucking christ. I swear to god, he sounds like a cowboy who’s storing nuts for the winter in his cheeks but needs to keep cowboying.

Mr. Wheezy:

Avoidance: 1

Hatred: 0

Why?:

He was relatively easy to understand how to avoid his projectiles, I would always get a 3 just to fight it, and at some point, I would often get a no hit run with him due to being so accostumed on how to dodge his projectiles.

Pip and Dot:

Avoidance: 3

Hatred: 1

Why?:

I would only fight them on occasions, though I wouldn’t rely on them that much. Would often miss the parry or get hit by it or touch the spikes, specially when I was close to finish them.

Though, because I always had the full super bar whenever I reached them, they would end quickly.

Hopus Pocus:

Avoidance: 4

Hatred: 5

Why?:

Ah yes, Hopus Pocus, the bitch that I kept getting so many fucking times that King Dice often added an HP Up because he felt pitty for me. How cute of him. I died and got annihilated so many fucking times because of him, specially on the parry section.

My biggest weakness is parrying, even after understanding how it works, I still had problems with it. When it was from below, I only failed a couple times, but when it’s from above? Fuck that shit, fam, I would always get hit and rarely get it.

And even when I used the super on him, I would often finish him after either getting hit once... or with my HP drained.

At the least, I could see what I was doing. The next one on the other hand...

Phear Lap:

Avoidance: 5

Hatred: 5

Why?:

Phear Lap is the definition of “Why too much shit on the foreground can distract you”.

I’ve had my share of deaths and hits where the foreground would completely cover me or a projectile, resulting me in getting hit by something I didn’t see. But Phear Lap takes it to a whole new level, the foreground includes big, large, black trees that cover up a lot of the screen, so a lot of times, I would lose sight of myself and either get hit by the present or by the fucking ghosts.

Yes, ghosts, on the section where the horses are racing, it took me a fucking while to realize that there’s this ghost rider who will come up and spring himself to the air if you’re on top of him, which can take you off guard when you’re too focus on the present and on where you are.

I avoided him at all fucking costs and when I didn’t, I would either get annihilated, get hit or in a miraculous turn, go through without a single hit.

Pirouletta:

Avoidance: 0

Hatred: 0

Why?:

The most easiest boss in the whole board. Dashing through her while shooting with the Rounbabout was the equivalent of constantly avoiding a bull’s horns without any problem. I would also dash through the projectiles after the wait for the projectiles to come closer to me so that I had space to dash and avoid them.

Mangosteen:

Avoidance: 2

Hatred: 2

Why?:

He’s not really that hard, it’s just his little minions that kept interviewing the damn battle kept either hitting me or I would get killed by them. Other than that, he’s fairly easy as fuck, just bash him with Spread and dash to the correct spacing the moment you hear his weird sound.

Mr. Chimes:

Avoidance: 4

Hatred: 4

Why?:

Fuck this piece of shit as well. At the least, my times of playing match the cards helped me out with the cards in the game but christ, fuck this bitch. Whenever a wrong match was gotten, he would often times move to the opposite way, often hitting me unexpectedly and take me off guard. He would often corner me badly during the shooting section and this bitch had to go on its way to mark his fucking name on “biggest bitches I had to deal with in Cuphead” by softlocking during a great run.

I knew I would get one eventually after countless of should-have-been-a-softlock moments but did it had to be at the worse time?

I must’ve triggered a good match the moment he stopped twitching over a bad match resulting in him beign stuck in a corner and not attack at all. He would react to the wrong matches but never move or attack. I had to kill myself in it by touching him because I had no supers to kill him and neither my weapons could reach him.

The pressure of trying to destroy him while there’s a 100% chance I might get cornered was so big, I would often try to avoid him...

... And hit something even worse.

Local piece of shit Start Over Tile can suck my fucking ass.

I went on my way to count how many times I would hit this piece of shit and everyone, I want you to know... I hit this shit 6 fucking times. About 2 of them were in a row.

And it wouldn’t have been so bad if it wasn’t for the fact that I had to walk on eggshells because there was that fucking chance I would get to fight another bitch. And, what wouldn’t be the definition of hell and spelling eggshells without hell without constantly fucking encountering either Tipsy Troop, Hopus Pocus and the three pieces of shit themselves, Chips Bettigan, Phear Lap and Mr.Chimes.

A big special shoutout to Phear Lap because he can suck my fucking ass as well.

But when I get Fin, it was time to fight the bitch itself: King Dice.

My parry is still shit and it’s very visible in this boss, I would constantly fail to parry the cards, specially when there was a 3-card distance away from each other. Then there was my parry timing, I already said this before but I’m gonna say it again:

The pressure makes me timing go wonky. I could be thinking that I’m timing my parry when I’m not and I’m just falling into death. So, about 90% of the times, I kept getting hit by the cards because I wasn’t parrying right. And yes, I could’ve used the cheat of hiding behind his hands but I ain’t going to cheat, I want to play this game fair and clear, without any cheats.

It took me forever to understand a few bits:

You seemingly can’t parry the same card twice, which I always thought I could, resulting in a lot of hits and deaths;

Instead of waiting for the cards to comes, go straight for the parry the moment you see one. Apparently, getting a running start helps control the parry, to me at the least;

Though on the second point, I would often forget how to time-parry because throughout the whole level, they would force me to rapid-parry due to the damn dice. If I want that 3, I had to rapid-parry that bitch or else, I would be fucked.

I will be honest here, the hard part wasn’t King Dice, it was the Court. Retrying the level basically means go through the roulette again, with a high chance of starting over and forcebly make me walk on eggshells, and then fight the King. So, my desperation started getting high not because of the King, but because the Court kept killing me so much, more than the King, that all I wanted at that exact moment was to end the damn battle and leave.

And I did got close a few times, in one of the tries, I used the Super... to the wrong way and it would’ve killed him had I aimed it at him.

In 24th Ass Kicks, I was that close to beat him:

And again in 39th Ass Kick:

But, to a surprinsing event, I was able to parry some cards in a row to survive and finally beat him with...

39 Ass Kicks and a A-.

To put this into prespective:

Dr.Khal’s Robot has 43 Ass Kicks;

Cagney Carnation has 45 Ass Kicks;

Djimmi the Great has 49 Ass Kicks;

Cala Maria has 89 Ass Kicks;

And the bitch himself:

Grim Matchstick has 129 Ass Kicks.

I was rooting for King Dice to at the least get to a 80-90 Ass Kick mark, but no, he has less than a Isle 1 boss.

The Devil is our only chance to beat a Debtor’s record. Can The Devil himself prove that he is the hell spawn of hell itself and beat Grim’s record? Or will Grim keep his record for eternity?

Only one way to find out: It is time to fight The Devil.

#lps100 game logs #cuphead #cuphead dont deal with the devil #cuphead don't deal with the devil

[nerd-breached-containment]

LPS100 plays Cuphead - Log #4

Start of Log #4;

Started off with my very first glitch in Cuphead: Located in Treetop Trouble, I might’ve done a frame-perfect glitch where I hit the mosquito and descend at the same time in a course of a millisecond. This resulted in the mosquitos becoming invisible but still interactive (and deadly to touch)... and when it did appeared with the sprite, it didn’t had any hitbox whatsoever;

I died to an invisible one, making the 17th death utter bullshit;

Discovered that the option retry is a thing and used it 3 times to get the coin parry;

Watch me forget about this;

Funnily enough, this time, I beat Treetop Trouble with 19 Ass Kicks and... a C;

Time for Husbandower Cagney Carnation to kick my ass and pollinate me hard;

Oh boy, this fight was... fucking beautiful:

I kept having my cheeks red as fuck and I occasionally kept staring at him - hilarity ensues;

This increased in the final Phase because I have the biggest hots for final Phase!Cagney than 1st Phase!Cagney - so you can imagine what would happen whenever I got to the final Phase;

This resulted in multiple ass kicks, one of which involved me hit a fuzzy, get dizzy and die;

My muscle memory kept confusing Shift with Down+Space, because in nearly all the Tomb Raiders, Shift is to drop down from ledges;

On the same note, I also kept thinking there was a ledge-grabbing system;

Because of this, some deaths was me falling off the platforms;

The flower that flies all the way to the top of the screen, the boomerang and the seeds, and the spit-out dandelions kept destroying me, specially because they came up all at once;

Almost 90% of the times, Cagney would vines the two closest platforms to me, and because I had the flying flower on the top of the screen, I would often dash either into Cagney or miss the platform by an inch or hit the flower;

Funnily enough, 20th death was me landing right on top of the beginning of the groundvines. Well then ;^)c;

Speaking of which, I couldn’t even use Roundabout for a good reason: whenever I used it, Cagney would immediately enter final phase after using the gattling gun move, resulting in a hoard of shit happening on the screen and me getting lost pretty easy;

When I did got to the final Phase, I would often get lost with the position of the vines, case in point, 21st death involved me dash right into the center vine because I went left, where both platforms were getting vined, instead of right;

I need a sign stampled on my face saying “DO NOT super with a projectile heading at you”;

After a long, everlasting Battle of the Seedturies, Cagney Carnation kicks Ribby and Croaks off the throne and crown of the most Ass Kicks with an extraordinary 40 FUCKING 5 ASS KICKS, 18 more than Ribby and Croaks;

It feels somewhat good to be pollinated 45 times;

Bought the Spreader because I might need it;

I finally got to the Well of Souls and I apparently got kicked in the ass in a total of....

Inkwell Isle 1 - Ass Kicks

The Root Pack: 6

Forest Follies: 8

Goopy Le Grande: 10

Hilda Berg: 16

Ribby and Croaks: 27

Treetop Trouble: 19 

Cagney Carnation: 45

Total of Ass Kicks: 131

Now, I’m in Inkwell Isle 2, with Beppi the Clown, Djimmi the Great and Baroness Von Bon Bon, another character that I have the hots as well. This will be interesting;

End of Log #4;

#cuphead #cuphead don't deal with the devil #cuphead dont deal with the devil #lps100 game logs

[nerd-breached-containment]

LPS100 plays Cuphead - Log 1#

Because I can’t record myself playing and trust me, you wouldn’t want to listen to a terribly sick furry just mumbling to herself and occasioally scream due to sudden events, I’m going to write Logs!

They will be under the tag “#lps100 game logs” for an easier way to blacklist it. Logs will contain a summarized version of what happened throughout the playthrough and keep in mind that I haven’t watched a Cuphead playthrough for a year by now so you can consider this playthrough a Blind Playthrough.

The log itself:

Start of Log 1#;

Let the intro music play before starting a game because it’s just. that good;

I did not knew that you can’t use the mouse buttons for the control scheme;

I will forget how to go downwards very quickly because I’m too used to Tomb Raider’s control scheme (shift to drop off the ledges);

Parry is an absolute nightmare and I don’t know how will I handle it in the harder levels - for context, I couldn’t even parry three in a row. In the tutorial;

I even tried to go back to parry them all in a row but couldn’t;

Started an “Ass Kicked” counter to count how many times did my ass got kicked;

Bought Smokebomb;

Took me 6 deaths just to beat The Root Pack;

And yes, each one got their own, exclusive ass kicking on me;

Got a B-, I expected a C-;

God knows how many deaths did it took to beat Forest Follies, I think it was more than 10;

Somehow got an A on it;

Bought Roundabout as opposed to go for Spreader;

End of Log 1#.

#cuphead don't deal with the devil #cuphead dont deal with the devil #cuphead #lps100 derps #parry is jsut b o i #lps100 game logs

[nerd-breached-containment]

LPS100 plays Cuphead: Log #12

Start of Log #12

On my way to fight Werner;

I wasn’t aware that the cherry bombs also exploded to the sides;

Fuck the bottle cap section, jesus christ. Sometimes, I could dash through him, sometimes, I suddenly couldn’t resulting in being hit by bottle caps. And for some reason, I couldn’t diagonally shoot to the left with the Spread, only up or to the left. It took me a goddamn while to discover that I can dash through the crank and jump through the wooden section;

Just like Dr.Khal, if the bottle caps and the fire aren’t timed... there’s a 100% chance I would get hit;

Also he sounds so fucking adorable;

But, in a surprising event, I was able to pull a Djimmi again and defeat him with 23 Ass Kicks and a B-;

On my way to Sally!... which didn’t really got that much trouble with, on the 2nd and 5th try, I was about to defeat her and fully defeated her with only 8 Ass Kicks... and a C;

One of my deaths involved dying a few seconds after ending her 2nd phase, resulting in a lovely game over screen where I could see Cuphead’s ghost and Sally dressed as an angel “fly” upwards at the same time;

Only Phantom Express left, the asses I feared to defeat;

Fuck the pumpkins and the ghosts, specially the ghosts. I would often either not shoot them at the right time or shoot at the worse possible moment;

I ended up in swithcing from Super III to Super I to Super II and Super III is... really strange to be used because you have to lock yourself in place in order to move the ghost and then after great damage, it will disappear except for the heart which I guess it will give you a 1 up?? I don’t know, it’s so sluggish, I didn’t even bothered to try it again and switched to my good old Super I;

One of my deaths involved me parrying the tail and head straight into the Train’s heart, dying in the process. I guess you could say I got a heart attack;

I seemed to have found a safe spot in Blaze Brothers section, by hugging the edges, I was able to escape the lighting attack without any damage, making the ghosts the real only problem in the phase;

After succesfully defeating all four bastards, I succesfully beat them with 24 Ass kicks and a B-;

Keep in mind that I beat them all with Rounbabout, Werner using the help of Spread;

WHY DID GRIM BITCHDICK TOOK ME FUCKNIG 129??????????

And so, it ends Inkwell Isle 3, my kicking in my ass increased from 409 to...

Inkwell Isle 3 - Ass kicks:

Sally Stageplay: 8

Rumor Honeybottoms: 15

Werner Werman: 23

Phantom Express: 24

Perilous Piers: 25

Captain Brineybeard: 26

Rugged Ridge: 33

Dr.Khal’s Robot: 43

Cala Maria: 89

King of the Ass Kicking: Grim Matchstick with 129 Ass Kicks

Inkwell Isle 3′s Total of Ass Kicks: 286

Total of Ass Kicks: 695

Can King Dice and The Devil beat Grim Bitchdick’s record? Or will Grim Bitchdick keep his extraordinary record of Ass Kicks? Who knows what will happen in Inkwell Hell;

End of Log #12;

#lps100 game logs #cuphead #cuphead dont deal with the devil #cuphead don't deal with the devil

[nerd-breached-containment]

LPS100 plays Cuphead: Log #10 - Cala Bitchria

Start of Log #10;

After some thinking, I went for Cala Maria because it would allow me to direct access Sally without having to go all the way around. I regret going up against her;

Fuck the seahorse+ghosts, they would always fuck me up and annihilate me without any mercy, speaking of the other devil, fuck the balloon fish+ghosts;

The turtle+red fish or seahorse+red fish or balloon fish+any fish would also fuck me up greatly;

Fuck the eels. Fuck the gaze. I barely even got to the final phase because of these bastards. They’re Grim’s marching fires and Djimmi’s Puphead combined - Whenever Cala gazed, I would have an hard time to free myself because apparently, you need 22 movement inputs in order to free yourself so I would be mashing my movement keys frenetically while the eels would gather up and bring up the Bullet Hell galore, fill the screen with small electrical dots and make it harder to move around, even with shrink mode. I used the damn bombs against them that would be fine if it wasn’t for the fact that Cala would suddenly gaze me, allowing the eels to take an easy hit on me;

Only after a shitload of deaths, I discovered that there is a sound cue for the gaze, it’s just ridiculously subtle - and trying to go statue during the gaze after the sound cue would either work or not, so I had to use the strategy of getting into a more suitable location the moment I heard it so that when I would be gazed, I wouldn’t have to worry about the dots that much;

It also took me forever to understand that spacebar (parry) would also count as a movement, allowing me to press four keys at once (A, W, D and Spacebar);

When I did got to the final phase, I only got close and inches from ending it two times, the rest would be just me getting annihilated;

I used Coffee instead of an Extra Hit this time around which somehow helped me - finally, my Attack > Defense tactic worked;

Somehow, I succesfully pulled a Djimmi the Bitch move and aced through the 2nd phase, allowing me to beat her by taking a hit to my advantage. Cala Maria was able to surpass Djimmi’s 49 Ass Kicks but wasn’t enough to surpass Grim Matchstick’s 129 Ass Kicks, so Cala Maria stays in the middle with a whopping 89 Ass Kicks and got a B;

It’s funny, the asses that took me forever have both three a B. Coincidence? I think not;

On my way to Rugged Ridge and things aren’t looking pretty...

End of Log #10;

#lps100 game logs #cuphead #cuphead don't deal with the devil #cuphead dont deal with the devil

[nerd-breached-containment]

The Battle of the Centuries - LPS100 vs. Grim Matchstick

Or Log #8 if ya may.

I remember in 24th of December, at 4 in the morning, I said to my sunshine “Meanwhil m jst “whos worse: wally warbles or grim matchsticks?”.

And we both got this lil gem:

At first, I just laughed. “Grim? The next binch? Pfff, nah, it’s gonna be Wally. Djimmi proved that I suck at flight levels”.

From Wednesday, 26th, to Friday, 28th, my birthday, it begin what was seemingly a literal neverending battle.

Between me... and Grim Matchstick, of all characters.

I cannot beginning to explain how fucking horrific it was to battle this asshole, I started with happiness, with confidence that I was going to defeat him in under 40 deaths. I was dead fucking wrong.

It took me a course of THREE FUCKING DAYS just to beat him. Three. Days. And I thought Djimmi was the biggest challenge, was the bitch that nearly broke me, but n o, Grim broke me, Grim made angry, Grim nearly made me cry whenever I died and was inches from ending it, Grim made me panic so many times whenver I reached final phase. I beg you to believe me, when I finally figured out how to go through the first few phases without damage, about 8-12 deaths was me inches from ending. That fucking close to end the nightmare.

I knew what to do.

I knew what I was doing was correct.

It was the pressure. The nerves of if I get hit, just once, my groove would break up and I would be lost, taking more hits and then, one.single.mistake... and back to the beginning.

But, a neverending battle has to start with a peaceful beginning...

After beating Wally and Funhouse Frazzle, which did made me cry due to a costly mistake, I decided to go up and face Grim Matchstick in the next day. I followed an advice that was “Charge is excellent for Grim” so my weapons were Roundabout and Charge.

After 2 deaths, I changed to Peashooter ... and only after 44 deaths, we both remembered that Charge got nerfed and is useless now, so Roundabout it is.

Now, what caused most of the 44 deaths? The god.fucking.damn jumping fireballs, that’s why. They are very mischievous and tricky as fuck, they will homing on you but from where you were, so if you were on the second “floor”, to the right side, they will jump to there.

The thing is sometimes, the altitude of the jump would change, even though my position was second “floor”, they would jump high enough to hit the third “floor”, resulting in either me jumping but landing onto them, me jumping but still get hit, or me successfully avoiding it but landing on the tongue or a cloud that’s on their level. So, you can consider this as the Puphead of Grim, it kept eating my health away or annihilating me in seconds.

For example:

9th death took me off guard because I wasn’t expecting it to jump up to this high;

14th death also did the same thing;

And, in some occasions, they would start jumping in fucking herds, in one of the tries, about 5-6 fires jumped one right after the other, which I’m still surprised how none of them hit me.

If it wasn’t that phase that annihilated me, it was the first phase. The tail will start wiggling and then rise up, and just like the fireballs, it will start wiggling from where you last were, so sometimes it would either catch me off guard... or corner me with the meteors, which I would either dash but still hit them or dash sucessfully but land on nothing.

The eye beans would also corner me and because parrying wasn’t my best,t he last one would do the job. After so.many.deaths, often times, the first few eye beans were so predictable that I would nail the parry on the first one and make the second eye bean aim upwards.

Around the 30th death mark, I should be close to the final phase like in Djimmi, I would have that feeling of “I know what to do, I’ve reached the final phase, I know what to do!”. That doesn’t apply here.

I would either get annihilated on the 1st phase or 2nd phase, whenever I did get to the final phase, I had no idea what to do. The reason why I won Djimmi’s battle with 49 ass kicks was because I successfully got to the final phase with full health and used the extra hits to my advantage and won.

Here? I barely got to the final phase. Hell, even when I reached the 40th death mark, I still had no idea what to do. Even after getting rid of the Charge weapon, I still had no idea or a clue or even a strategy on what to fucking do.

Only, and I shit you not, only at death 60 fucking 3, I was finally at the final phase for a longer time and nearly ended the fight... by an inch.

That would be the absolute closest call. After 63 deaths, I got that close to end him. I thought “Ok, I’m close to finish him”.

But the ride never ended.

My hands were starting to freeze due to the cold weather, I had to wear gloves but it was fingerless gloves because I couldn’t feel anything with full-hand gloves.

After 88 ass kicks, I called it a day and took a break, hoping that in the next day, I would defeat him.

But the ride never ended.

Now I can start saying the major problems with the final phase, first off:

The transition would lag my fucking game, and it did killed me because of it. Due to all the shit it had to load at once (the animation transition, the rain, the thunder, ect), I was forced to make sure I did the least amount of movement to avoid lagging the game. Only after a good couple of deaths, the lag gradually decreased;

The flamethrower would also fuck me up greatly, specially when there was no upper cloud to keep myself safe so I had to use the lower clouds... which would lead me to death.

But, the biggest problem were...

The fireballs. Fuck the fireballs so much, this is essentially why the Charge is recommended against Grim because you hold to charge and then release when it’s fully charged up. But I’m not good with precision and all the times that I used Charge, I never went far. So if I wanted to go far, I had to take the risk of using the Peashooter.

So, how does the fireballs work? Similair to the balloons in Funfair Fever, it’s a fireball inside a bubble, the moment you shoot it, it breaks into four, all going in a vertical and horizontal manner so, whenever they started shooting at me, I had to extra careful because:

The fireballs would homing on me from where I was;

It takes just one bullet to break them;

The speed of how many they would shoot would differ so, they could shoot one and then after a few 6 seconds shoot another, or shoot one right after the other;

They have three heads so I had to take awareness of where would they come from because if I was at the top of the screen and the fireball would be shot from below, then the fireball would be shot in a diagonal manner;

Let me fucking tell you. About 90% of my deaths during that phase was from those fireballs. I either would jump at the wrong time, accidentally drop downwards into a fireball, the little.fucking.tip of the fireball would touch me, OR my spacebar or S key wouldn’t respond to the input, resulting me in either dying from a fireball to the face or me just falling down to the abyss.

And sure, one could say “why not use the Chaser? It auto-homes on them!” well... that also applies to the fires.

In the next day, I went to buy the Chaser which while it worked beautifully with the second phase, because it allowed me to escape the fireballs easily while hitting him...

...It was an absolute disaster with the final phase. It also homes-in on the fireballs, creating more chaos and killing me.

So, if the Peashooter was going well with me, and the Chaser is excellent against the second phase... after an horrible attempt with the Peashooter+Roundabout, and an attempt with the Chaser+Roundabout which, once again, I was close to beat it:

I finally came up with a strategy: Peashooter+Chaser. I used the Peashooter during the first phase, then switched to Chaser during the second phase, then, during the final phase, I would carefully shoot him with the Peashooter and when the flamethrower would start, I would switch to the Chaser to keep hitting him while keeping myself safe, then switch back to Peashooter to avoid homing in on the fireballs.

I always kept reseting whenever I either took a hit in the first phase or took took hits in the second phase because I had to go to the finall phase with either full health or two hits left.

Ladies and Gentlemen and Graces, in a course on 3 deaths, I was close to beat him three fucking times in a row.

And after two more deaths... another beatdown that was also inches from ending...

... And another...

After a few deaths, aaaaaaaaaand another:

I had to take a break because my spacebar kept not responding to my input and when you start getting angry at your keyboard, that’s a sign to take a break.

I just utterly lost my hope, my happiness, my confidence, everything, because the rider kept never ending. I was that close multiple times but I just kept failing.

After a long, needing break, I finally returned to him. But, this time, I had a new idea...

I have the second Super Art - Invincibility. Ahenever I go through the first phase, I always had the Super bar full and using the first Super Art when the second phase is transitioning or during the first phase would either result in death or not hitting at all.

But, with invincibility, I could get some extra hits on him during final phase without worrying about the fireballs. And so, I changed it and see if it worked. I noticed that invincibility lasted all the cards, meaning that through the course of the cards going down, I could directly hit him. It seems this strategy might work.

Once again, I’ve been inches from defeating him 3 times in a row, and this is where the pressure would build up even more:

Because invincibility allows me to hit him directly, it means that I had to trigger it when I thought it was possible or even whenever I took a hit. So, If I was say... at 1 HP, I would trigger it and get some extra hits. After some deaths, I noticed that I could ex shoot him three times during the first phase, making the second phase even shorter and still build up the meter.

After some retries, and one death... I finally fucking did it. The moment “Knockout!” appeared, I put my hands in air and screamed “OH MY GOD, I DID IT!”.

I got a B but I didn’t cared. I was tearing up of happiness, after constantly thinking that the ride would never end, in a course of three days...

Grim Matchstick takes the fucking lead, the fucking throne and the fucking crown from Djimmi the Great with an unbelievable A HUNDRED AND TWENTY FUCKING NINE ASS KICKS.

Yes, you heard it right, a 129 Ass Kicks. With the death counter increasing from...

Inkwell Isle 1′s total Ass Kicks  and overall total of Ass Kicks: 131

Inkwell Isle 2 - Ass Kicks:

Baroness Von Bon Bon: 15

Beppi the Clown: 18

Wally Warbles: 23

Djimmi the Great: 49

Grim Matchstick: 129

Inkwell Isle 2′s Ass Kicks: 278

Total of Ass Kicks: 409

Now, I’m off to fight Captain Brineybeard because I don’t think I have the mental capacity to fight Rumor Honeybottoms who’s just Grim Matchstick but vertically.

See ya’ll soon with another Log.

#lps100 game logs #cuphead #cuphead dont deal with the devil #cuphead don't deal with the devil

[nerd-breached-containment]

LPS100 plays Cuphead - Log #6

Start of Log #6;

Went to fight Beppi;

Took me a whilo to understand how the ducks works;

I kept dashing into Beppi’s kamehameha of horseshoes;

Discovered how Roundabout’s super works;

All the screaming I did with Djimmi didn’t served me well for my throat so my coughing would throw me off guard;

Reached the finally stage, left the platforms to kill the penguins but didn’t noticed that when they’re rolling, they’re invulnerable - you can guess what happened;

In spite of those problems, it only took 18 Ass Kicks to beat Beppi and got a B-;

Why did it only took 15 and 18 Ass KIcks to beat the Baroness and Beppi respectively, but took 49 Ass Kicks to beat Djimmi?????

Went for Funfair Fever, how the fuck does one parry 5 times in a row????

About 6 deaths wa me trying to parry the balloon 5 times;

Was close a couple times;

I found a way to pass the ballon section in a pacific way because whenever I shot them, they would burst into small dots and ahhinilate me;

Took 16 Ass Kicks and got a B- in Funfair Fever, my accidental weapon switch allowed me to beat it;

Bough the Charge, the shotgun of Cuphead and the apparent weapon excellent against Grim Matchsticks;

Still have enough for another weapon, might buy the Lobby due to being effective over Rumor Honeybottoms;

On my way to defeat Wally Warbles, I wonder how many Ass Kicks will it take...

End of Log #6;

#lps100 game logs #cuphead #cuphead dont deal with the devil #cuphead don't deal with the devil

[nerd-breached-containment]

LPS100 plays Cuphead: Log #5 - Djimmi the Bitch

Start of Log #5

Before heading to Djimmi, I went to re-check the flight controls;

Heading to Djimmi....

I thought I was going to ace through Djimmi because in a course of 5 deaths, I made a lot of progress. 6th death and so on proven the otherwise and oh boy it did:

The cluster of objects kept destroying me, specially how I had to take shrunk form to the max and even that would kill me;

The cats were tricky as fuck as well, because the fourth small cat would often appear a little late, almost, if not, always hit me and make me lost;

The side-scroller wasn’t that bad though, I would often miscalculate the upper pitches and forget that bombs are a thing;

Strangely enough, the Sarcophagus stage wasn’t all that bad, it’s just that the ghosts and the palm trees in the foreground would fuck me up greatly;

The Puphead. Holy shit, fuck the puphead. If I wasn’t going to get hit by the small dots from the floating hat, then Puphead would drain my health back to square with the bullets and either force me to get hit by them or get hit by the small dots;

So about 90% of the times, my health would be destroyed by him or be drained by him which is a problem because...

... Of the fucking pyramids and the orb rays. The pyramid’s rays would often corner me and I was never sure where would I have space or not and then I did had space to manuever, the orb rays would fuck me up;

I have never felt so much pressure whenever I got to a phase, when I got to Puphead with full health, I had the pressure, that feeling in the gut of if I fucked up, just once, I had to restart the course all over again;

This would result in moments like 32nd death, where I miscalculated the space i would have but instead of shrinking, I panicked due to pressure and hit the ray, costing me what would’ve been a great victory:

The worse is had I used the bomb, he would’ve died;

I’ve never retried a boss so much because the only way to do this was to get all up to Puphead with full health;

At 41st death, I finally gave in and went to buy the Extra Hit and equipped it... and took a really long break;

After a 3-hour break, I finally returned to Djimmi and in one of my attempts, I was close to defeat him yet again, but with all the shit happening on the screen, I lost the sign of myself and got hit by the pyramid’s bottom right tip;

But, don’t worry because after that attempt, I was able to reach to the final Phase with full health and was able to finally defeat Djimmi with 1 HP standing, finally putting an end to Djimmi after a long, painful, pressuring 49 Ass Kicks, taking the throne and crown of Inkwell Isle 2 and kick Cagney off the throne;

Got a B but fuck it, Djimmi is Dgone;

To take a light break, I went to the Mausoleum, only took one fail to get the invicibility super art though I kept the first one;

Went to fight the Baroness after I went “eenie meenie minie moe“ on which one would I fight next: Baroness or Beppi;

The Jawbreaker kicked my ass a good couple of times;

Roundabout basically destroys everything, though Peashooter is excellent agaisnt the Muffin;

Baroness has a very beautiful voice |#3;

Switched the controls, now the arrow key controls are in the keypad;

I’m shocked that it only took 15 Ass Kicks to defeat Baroness yet it took a whooping 49 Ass Kicks to defeat Djimmi;

Went to help the Barbershop Quartet by finding the last member and have a break by lsitening to the “Take a Break” song;

Helped a girl discover the second shortcut, gained a coin;

Found another coin on accident as well;

And another in inkwell Isle 1;

Took a break from the game but next up is Beppi the Clown;

End of Log #5.

#lps100 game logs #cuphead #cuphead don't deal with the devil #cuphead dont deal with the devil

[nerd-breached-containment]

LPS100 plays Cuphead - Log 2#

Start of Log 2#;

Starting from where I was, I went straight for Mausoleum;

Took me 3 tries because parrying is still a challenge;

Equiped the Super Art but had to exit the game due to something;

Open the game again and went straight for Goopy Le Grande;

Goopy Le Grande, one of the easier, if not, the 2nd easiest boss. Took me 10 deaths or ass kicks to defeat him. Here’s some highlights:

1st death was him casually crushing me;

2nd death was me dash right into him;

3rd death had me fail to parry the 2nd question mark and fall right on top of him;

4th death was me forgetting what the lock function is for: lock you in place. Because of this, I ran right into him after finally getting to his 3rd Phase;

5th death was me dash right into his ass;

Has an A- on him... with 2 parries;

When to check if Elder Kettle’s tutorial had something new about Super Arts, somehow got the 3 parries in a row by utter acident;

Learned the blueprints...;

Years of playing School of Dragons somehow helped me with flight but to a slight extent - kept confusing parry (space) with shrink (shift) and with ex shoot (left arrow) because in School of Dragons, space is to accelerate and shift is to break;

Hilda Berg takes the throne of the most Ass Kicks in the game, 16 fucking deaths just to defeat her and I nearly died when I defeating her;

In one of the deaths, I forgot that I have to hit her bull Phase;

She cornered me about 2-4 times, yes, even in shrink mode;

6th death was an epic battle as I reached her Final Phase with only one 1 HP... and immediately died to a star;

Bull kept annihilating me, hell, Hilda Berg kept annihilating me;

How the fuck did I got a B on this;

Ribby and Croaks started off pretty beautifully... until I died to a coin;

2nd death involved me dash into Croak’s ass;

I thought I had the Super Art but it was only in 6th death that I exited to the map and discovered the hard truth: Always check in your equipment because apparently, I didn’t had it equiped so I have to equip my Super Art whenever I re-renter the game;

At 10th death, my pinky was starting to hurt and my whole hand are gradually paralyzing on occasions, resulting in me doing some moves I didn’t intended to though after dying one more time, I stopped because a semi-randomly-paralyzing hand won’t do in the world of Cuphead.

With Hilda Berg holding the throne with 16 Ass Kicks and Ribby n Croaks with 11, will they take down Hilda from the throne or will Hilda keep her crown of the most Ass Kicks?

End of Log 2#.

#cuphead don't deal with the devil #cuphead dont deal with the devil #cuphead #lps100 derps #lps100 game logs

[nerd-breached-containment]

I was in such a disbelief state, for the first time, I screamed a prolonged “FUCK” in utter anger and nearly cried just like Grim did multiple times whenever I was really close to end it all.

#im sorry but i had to fucknig u'plaod this because fuck the devil holy shit #cuphead #cuphead dont deal with the devil #cuphead don't deal with the devil #lps100 game logs

[nerd-breached-containment]

Death 32: Death by Mr.Chimes softlock.

#i knew at some point i would get one #cuphead #cuphead dont deal with the devil #cuphead don't deal with the devil #lps100 game logs

[nerd-breached-containment]

LPS100 plays Cuphead - Log #11: Ridge of Assness and Dr.Khal’s Robitch

Start of Log #11;

Rugged Ridge of Assness;

Lets get over with it, about 90% of my deaths are from the begining of the fucking level, there’s no need to explain, instead, I’ll sum it up: Goats really craving for salt kept boomeranging my ass and even when dead, the fucking pickaxe would STILL fuck me in the ass;

Ah yes, I remember when I got kicked in the head and ass multiple times over the fact that Grim Bitchdick has canonly fucked and has Grim Bitchdick Jrs. and they are as equally pieces of shit as their father;

Apparently, I’ve been missing the 4th coin 28 times;

Tomb Raider taught me how to platform but my finger that triggers the invincibility hasn’t learned how to rapid trigger it when needed, with that said, I was really fucking close:

But, after somehow triggering the Invincibility at the right time, it allowed me to beat Rugged Ridge with 33 Ass Kicks... and a C+;

I thought by beating Rugged Ridge, it would allow me to freely do a round-around without having to take the shortcut but nope, I went through a rugged hell for nothing;

Onto Dr.Khal...

FUCK THE BOMBS, there, I said it. They’re the absolute bullshit in the fight. They move really slowly, making it somewhat harder to dodge and an absolute challenge to destroy. I did discovered that bombs are a whole lot better to destroy them during the 2nd phase but it’s also during said phase I discovered something else;

I wasn’t aware that bombs also include splash damage. The electrical explosion that they do damaged me so many fucking times, if I did something as accidentally move forward after blowing one up, I would be hit, even if I touched just a teeny weeny pixel;

The entire 1st phase can suck my ass. Even with a strategy against him, the timing between the bottom opening and the middle opening would often not coincide and would fuck me up greatly;

The final phase is Wally’s feathers but worse;

Oh yeah, by the way, the remaining bombs keep going even after the final phase is triggered;

I.was.about.to.fucking.softlock.the.fight, I triggered the Super and got hit at once and for a second neither Dr.Khal or me could do damage;

Surprisingly enough, after I was able to discover that they also seemed to have nerfed the gates, allowing you to take your time without having to forcebly move forward, I beat him and received an A... and 43 Ass Kicks. Not even Cagney’s 45 Ass Kicks were they able to surpass;

On my way to Werner Werman....

“Werner, u better open th gosh dang door.“

End of Log #11;

#lps100 game logs #cuphead #cuphead dont deal with the devil #cuphead don't deal with the devil

[nerd-breached-containment]

LPS100 plays Cuphead - Log #9

Start of Log #9;

After finally beating the bitch that is Grim Matchstick, I went on my way to beat Brineybeard, a bastard consisting of parry:

I forgot that the boat attacks;

I kept dying halfway through the battle because I would either get killed by the squid-gun’s balls, the cannon balls, the barrel and the dogs to a degree;

I witnessed my super getting used... to the left;

I kept failing at parry and it got to a point where I had cases of “parry or die”;

Got to final phase a couple of times, was really close at one point, but didn’t took me that much to figure out how to avoid the fireballs - Roundabout’s extra backwards range helped a lot;

And who could forget the greatest death quote of all time: HAW-HAW-HAW-HAW-HAW!

I was so focused on avoiding shit, it took me by surprise that I beat him;

I somehow only took me 26 Ass Kicks to beat him and got an A-;

I thought that by beating Brineybeard, I would be able to head to the Mausoleum but nope, on my way to Perilous Piers...;

My fucking god, this Run and Gun kept annihilating me in the beginning section;

It only took me 8 deaths to finally each the octopus buuuuuuuuut I died and was shocked to see where the last coin is located at;

The second coin suddenly became a pain in the ass to get;

I finally got the proper combination: Chaser+Spread;

I successfully defeated it with 25 Ass Kicks and a B-;

Went to the Mausoleum... and after 8 fails, I somehow parried 5 times in a row, saving me from another fail, granting me an achievement and a coin;

I also finally understood how does parry works;

Welp, time to fight Honeybottoms;

I mostly died on the first phase, with the bee cop and his little sting bomb.. and the bee worker casually passing by;

When I did get to Rumor Honeybottoms herself, the triangle would fuck me up greatly;

The bee bombs that she spitted out would also fuck me out;

Yet, in a miraculous surprise, I somehow defeated her with 15 Ass Kicks, way lower than Wally Warbles, got a B+... and completed it without any hits whatsoever, earning the No Hit run achievement and making me bewildered as to why did Honeybottoms took me only 15 Ass Kicks whereas Grim Matchstick took me fucking 129 Ass Kicks;

When to get the 4-parry coin;

When I went to talk with Ludwig (the Gramaphone), I found a shortcut to Sally by complete accident;

I absolutely loved Ludwig and Wolfgang (the 30′s radio)’s old man discussion, so I kept gonig back and forth, back and forth, back an- oh, hi, piano version of the Isle’s theme, I suddenly unlocked you by accident as well;

With Calla Mari, Werner Wermen, Dr.Khal, Sally Stageplay and Rugged Ridge, who do I choose to fight....;

End of Log #9

#lps100 game logs #cuphead #cuphead dont deal with the devil #cuphead don't deal with the devil

[nerd-breached-containment]

LPS100 plays Cuphead Log #3;

Start of Log #3;

After a break, I return back to Ribby and Croaks...;

I changed the Dash key (Left Shift) to Down key to see if it would help - after four deaths of misclicking Shift instead of Down, I returned back to Shift;

I am gradually understanding the Cuphead Feeling of being that close to defeat a bitch, and Ribby and Croaks took that shit up to eleven - to name a few:

18th death:

14th death was the absolute painful ass kick I’ve even gotten yet:

21st death was also pain because the Super would’ve killed them:

On the 25th death, I died by getting crushed by Croaks’ hands after numerous close calls of being crushed by him;

Yes, you heard it right, 21st and 25th death. Ribby and Croaks take the crown and throne of the most Ass Kicks from Hilda Berg with a whooping 27 Ass Kicks;

And I somehow got a B-. At the least, it wasn’t a C-;

When heading to Treetop Trouble, I forgot that I still have a certain Husbandower to defeat;

Given how I tremendously feel a certain feeling for him, it’s safe to say... the battle will be interesting;

Treetop Trouble aka fuck the coin parry;

About 80% of my ass kicks was due to that one coin;

14th death was the furthest I’ve even went and died by risking my 1 HP for a coin;

I quitted the game for a long, everlasting break. Why?

I could’ve used the Super on the mini-boss but instead, I got cornered and died a few seconds after the mini-boss.

End of Log #3;

#cuphead #cuphead dont deal with the devil #cuphead don't deal with the devil #lps100 game logs

[nerd-breached-containment]

LPS100 plays Cuphead: Log #7 - Fuck Funhouse Frazzle

Start of Log #7;

Alright, Wally Whirly Wonky Warbles, here we go:

Lets start off Wally Warbles by dying due to a coughing that nearly evolved into vomit coughing;

The feather galore would often confuse me due to suddenly just stop seeing them, as if they camouflaged with the background;

16th death was bullshit due to the controls suddenly getting glitched - when shrinking, I don’t know what I did but whenever I tried to shoot, it would unshrink me and whenever I started shooting, it would shrink me, a retry somehow fixed it but still, if it wasn’t for this glitch, I would’ve got further;

17th death finally convinced me to equip the Extra Hit;

While Wally Jr. was an ass, ahhinilating me at full health, making it the 20th death, he isn’t as bad a Puphead;

It took me a while to realize that I don’t have to always shrink during the feather galore - this allowed me to ace through the phase quicker;

Djimmi is still on the lead as Wally surpassed Baroness and Beppi at once with 23 Ass Kicks;

I was undecided on where should I go for Grim Matchsticks or the Run n Gun, Funhouse Frazzle - I wished future me would’ve told me to choose Grim instead for the following reason: FUCK FUNHOUSE FRAZZLE SO MUCH!

Whenever you were upside down, the vertical controls also get reverted, which would confuse me greatly;

The parry system is still a challenge and this Run and Gun proved me that yes, I still have problems with it - I would miss the cards a lot or the recoil of the parry would fuck me up, and don’t even talk about the parriable enemies, I didn’t even bothered because I always failed to parry them whenever they appeared;

The rockets’ sound was so loud and distracting, I would lose my sense of direction and get dicked over;

I need multiple signs saiying Shift (Dash) =/= Down (Crouch);

The wall kept bringing the cars to where I was so it would always caught me off guard, and the kisses would take advantage of it;

The 3rd trombone can suck my ass, it took me forever that I had to hit him on the very corner of the moving platform;

But, I would never have time to understand that because I would die to the fucking thingies that float towards you;

At once point, I was able to dash and skip the 3rd trombone and the moment I reached the final wall, the fucking jack-in-the-box shot a cone at me... even though he was off screen;

I died so many times, I could practically speedrun the first section;

I took a small break, I came back to the game and I was on the run, I was able to skip the 3rd trombone and I was on the final wall, I finally beat the bitch UNTIL I TURNED LEFT AND DIED FROM THE FUCKNIG KISSES INSTEAD OF FUCKING TURNING RIGHT OR DASH FOR SAFETY DISTANCE! What would have been a beat-down of the centuries, it turned into me tearing up over the fact that hadn’t I done that costly mistake, I would’ve fucking won;

After dying a couple more times, I finally beat the son of a bitch and it took me 28 ASS KICKS! A brand new record for the Run and Guns and a bittersweet ending for me because I still have a dragon to beat;

End of Log #7;

#fuck funhouse frazzle so much #lps100 game logs #cuphead #cuphead dont deal with the devil #cuphead don't deal with the devil