#making memes is such a great joy for me but I yearn for more yknow. I can be a serious artist past all my clown behavior I promise

[serenedash]

so I wasn't expecting my khux gameplay post to blow up this much because normally I just shout my khux thoughts into the void and that's that, but it's been really amazing and heartwarming seeing everyone's personal experiences with khux, like I can't say enough how much I LOVE looking at everyone's additions and tags :)

I had tried writing a long post about some khux feelings but it just wasn't coming out right. this post isn't about the game this is about me sorry tl;dr I'm a very anxious person and I love to see other people just as excited about khux as I am because I feel better about how much I like it. which is A Lot

#sorry for being vulnerable it won't happen again /lh #the real tl;dr is that I feel very dumb and stupid and anxious all the time constantly for being obsessed with khux #but again everyone's responses made me feel so much better #like yes its a major source of joy for me but I get so anxious #and I dont really talk to people at all bc of it like discord servers are a special hell but I try anyway #and majority of my khux friends drifted away from it forever ago so I feel kind of really alone by myself #I just love other people's posts and content so much I feel so stupid in comparison- I look up to so many people in the community #making memes is such a great joy for me but I yearn for more yknow. I can be a serious artist past all my clown behavior I promise #I mean all my fics are very serious and angsty but no one reads my writing Im not too confident on regularly posting it so its fine really #I'm just in my own echo chamber on here and I always assume everyone hates me or is at least annoyed by me #like people don't really comment on things I make or send me asks or message me #so not getting feedback except a decent number of notes on my posts is like. not the best #im not guilt tripping people into interacting with me really its fine I swear Im just having my own issues #really dont feel you have to because also Im really bad at conversations fr #my personal tag is 'im rambling' for a reason #but anyway this is my house and if people don't like it they can leave #at the end of the day I love to just create for my own enjoyment #and if people like it too then that's great!!!!! #but I'm also still very anxious all the time