#maybe due to recent life events i can finally settle on a dosage though if i try

[idkimnotreal]

the conundrum of adhd medication, as perceived by me.

my natural brain (aka weaker dosage than i need): i want to do everything at once, but i can't see myself doing any of those things because they all seem too much (executive dysfunction) or too difficult. i can't do anything, but i want to do everything, hence i get understimulated, and it hurts.

my medicated brain (overdosage): i don't want to do anything at all, every activity has the same appeal to my brain, be it drink a glass of water or conquer the world, both activities that would reward me 0 dopamine because i already have too much of it at that moment. i can actually see myself doing stuff, and if i want to do it i can do anything, but the problem is that i don't. if i miscalculate whether to take the meds or not, i may end up just waiting for my natural brain to return so i can find literally any joy in living again (luckily it's 8 hours at most for ritalin).

#adhd meds #medication #i can't seem to figure out the right ritalin dosage for me #i keep switching between 20 and 30mg month in and out and it never seems right #maybe due to recent life events i can finally settle on a dosage though if i try #vyvanse is too expensive #but i figure it has none of the problems ritalin has for me #but i need a job first #which is tricky because i feel like the right meds would help me get that #but i can't wager my parents' money on that #they say concerta is more chill than ritalin even though it's the same substance but i'm just afraid that due to #it being less popular there'll be shortages and stuff but i can discuss it with my doctor #and for the 2195th time adderall is banned in brazil so fuck me