#maybe i'll get back into writing nd posting it. maybe i'llhave more fun w insta and taking photos again??

[silenthillbunni]

📓🖊️

#maybe maybe one day i'll be ok?? #maybe i'll manage to get my high school diploma #maybe i'll get a student housing apartment in another city. maybe i can study to become a pre school teacher... #(not my dream job but the only job that seems possible for me) #maybe i'll be able to work on my anxiety and avpd and become more calm #maybe i'll be able to exercise the way i want nd become physically strong #maybe i'll be brave enough to try apps to make girl friends i can hang out with??? #maybe i'll get back into writing nd posting it. maybe i'llhave more fun w insta and taking photos again?? #maybe i'll fix my relationship w my sisters nd talk to them again?? #maybe if im lucky i'll meet someone who i fall in love w who falls for me too? maybe someone will one day choose to be with me?? #maybe i can get a real apartment nd have a job? maybe i can even live w a partner one day? and maybe i'll have friends? #maybe i wont be all alone forever?? maybe i wont feel this alienated nd isolated for my entire life?? #maybe maybe maybe my life can be alright....? can it really be? #i dont have much hope. but maybe??? plz plz plz let it be so let it be so #and maybe for now.. as im lower than i've ever been before.. #maybe i just need to be able to eat more normally again. then i can have my coffe chocolate moments w youtube #and i can watch kdramas nd have dinner. which are two moments that make me feel ok nd calm #<<< i feel ashamed abt it but comforting eating is a thing for me. im gnna be alone 4ever anyway so might aswell just accept thats how i am #so yeah maybe maybe i'll start feel a bit better when i can disconnect from everything nd just get immersed in a kdrama nd have dinner lmao #idk. i just dont feel like i'll ever have a real life. i'll never have what i dream abt (which isnt even much. just love.. just love lmao) #so then i can daydream nd live by reading books nd watching kdramas nd tv shows nd also write a lot #but ofc in my freetime bc i need a job w a stable income nd my own apartment. even if i dont love my job i need one that i can be ok with