#me sleep forever to agitated and full of evil energy to like: ok im normal im gonna do the extraction ive been putting off for months

[opens-up-4-nobody]

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#the problem with a mood profile that is mostly way down with peaks of way up is that when u return to a state of: the bullshit is easy. #i dont need to sleep. i could run around in circles. i could read a million papers. what kind of loser cant manage their life? #u r like: God fucking dammit i fucked up so much stuff. y tf didnt i do yhis at the time???? its so baffling like i went from fuck just let #me sleep forever to agitated and full of evil energy to like: ok im normal im gonna do the extraction ive been putting off for months #y couldnt i have been like this last week when i should have gathered a list of my failing students to the prof to make them withdrawal? #like y tf didnt i do that?????? i mean. its kind of a suspect way to run a class tbh bc u r artificially inflating ur score #but i could have saved like 6 ppl from an F. but i mean if u r struggling its sort of on u to reach out for help. #ugh. ive not been very good at my job this semester. but to b fair my brain has been trying very hard to kill me #genuinely i had to fill out a safety sheet in therapy and then go to a ta meeting where they were like: how r yall doing #? how do u feel abt the semester? and im just like aaaaaaaAAAaaaa 🙃 #next semester i think im TAing for an online course. and im hoping its not bc i was so terrible they had to distance me from students lol #i mean. thats probably just me being paranoid but idk well see monday when i ask when the prof wants to meet before next semester #ay. its been a rougher semester than id hoped. #unrelated