#me when the paranoia is Getting Bad fjkfdsjkl

[dandyshucks]

starting to think maybe i should turn rbs off on that post actually bc im having heart palpitations now fdsjgjkl why is this happening to meeee

#vent // #me when the paranoia is Getting Bad fjkfdsjkl #its stemming from m.oral o.cd i think bc i am mainly worried abt more eyes on my blog and ppl seeing me frolic here #and the brain gophers have been insisting that i am doing smth horribly wrong and not realizing it #and the worry is that someone is going to see that and bypass talking to me abt it and go straight to making a callout post #and i will be sitting here with Zero Idea abt it #and continue hurting ppl by doing the Unknown Wrong Thing #but i also am not sure how that would happen bc i overthink literally Everything i post #if u see me put tags on smth that isn't just a simple ''ough'' or ''hehe yay!!'' i probably sat there for two mins making sure it was okay #running thru the words at every angle i can conceive of to ensure its not going to hurt somebody somehow fdsjkl #and this paranoia has been so bad the past few days. and when it gets bad then i get worried bc maybe i somehow have a guilty conscience #without even knowing !!! just subconsciously having a guilty conscience somehow !! #which ... only makes the paranoia worse fdsgjkl its a very bad vicious circle #anyways. i have been lowkey avoiding being here lately bc of this but i feel like avoidance just makes it worse #so . hrm. i just do not want to have more crying breakdowns bc i tried to figure out what on earth i could possibly be doing so wrong fsdjk #not exactly a fun way to spend time FDSJKL but ... what can ya do i guess #like i can't ask ppl ''hey am i doing smth wrong?'' bc thats. very vague. and subjective. and also i shouldnt rely on other ppl like that #but my brain is so goofed up that i genuinely cannot tell when i get like this sdjfkl bc i feel so sure i must be doing smth wrong somehow #so every tiny thing seems like maybe its wrong in a way i dont understand yet... ough #ANYWAYS SORRY THIS IS . NOT A GOOD POST TO MAKE. LOL. but i feel like this is the only way im going to bust myself out of this cycle #hopefully if i just Say that i've been really worried then if smth IS actually wrong someone will let me know #and if nothing is wrong then !! i can move on from this continual paranoia spiral !! maybe !! #i feel like me posting this is going to be a Wrong Immoral Move but fdsjkl rly trying to just. break out of it rn fsdjkl #dandyshucks