#mental health dropping isnt helping either screw you august im just. god

[chiisana-lion]

#truly absolutely no wonder the times when i hate myself the most is when i cant draw #not even in a ''oh i have to post smth way'' idc abt that. i just want to create Something. anything rly just for me just for the heck of it #whenever i try to sketch something it always ends up erased or undone or just. i cant do it #i dont know why !!!! i just want to make smth. feel smth during the process and like the result #but these past damn weeks have taken such a toll on me i think im losing myself genuinely #feel like!! m such a letdown i went and signed up for art events etc and i cant even give them my all and imjust barely hanging on a thread #rly all i ask to be able to do so long as im alive is to draw things. thats rly all i want #i have plenty of ideas ik hkw to execute them somewhat but every time for the past couple of weeks i bring my pen to the tablet everything #seems wrong. its never turning out the way i want to i cant see what i wanted to draw anymore til the point i cant even begin #hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh #mental health dropping isnt helping either screw you august im just. god #i should eat dinner maybe #duck rants about something