#might never see two of my aunts again 🤪

[layla-carstairs]

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#I can't sleep rn because of family drama I found out today 🧍🏻‍♀️ #one of my aunts is contesting my grandma's will and the person who is getting fucked over the most is my dad #she wants a share in our family farm despite never giving a shit & my dad being the only one who loves farming #might never see two of my aunts again 🤪 #one of them into qanon and stuff so it's not a huge loss but still #also potentially some of my cousins? idk qanon aunt has 7 kids but they're all adults now #some of them I will very surprised (& heartbroken) if they take their mom's side but idk idk #also the whole thing is stupid she apparently requested my grandpa will too like. that man has been dead since before I was born 😐 #there's no way you're going to be to contest that #also shockingly oldest aunt is on our side (dad and Uncle). she once told my grandma to stop spending their inheritance so 🥴 #my dad's side of my family is crazy I surprised they've made it this long without a rift #my grandparents literally tried to pay off my one aunts boyfriend lmao #same aunt who's contesting the will btw #she has issues ngl my grandparents didn't name her for weeks bc they wanted a boy 🙃 #but like she's 60 now & has a phd in psychology & her parents are dead! very very dead! #and she's taking it out on her brothers so #she's been trying to do this for years & told my mom as much when my dad was hospital 🧍🏻‍♀️ #also other qanon aunt is backing her up and she's got issues too #when her partner died she made their FOURTEEN YEAR OLD son the next of kin #my cousin had his dad autopsy addressed to him at 14 let that sink in #my grandma ended up organising and funding the whole funeral pretty much because my aunt refuse to do any of it because she was made at him🙃 #they had seven kids & she nearly didn't go to the funeral #it was really traumatic for them (obviously) and she made it worse. my cousin was handed the Irish flag at 11 w/o being told #my mom had to take him away bc how obviously broken he was #I should stop talking about this now #I might delete this later idk #bella talks

[wickedhawtwexler]

lmao it's the holiday season which means it's bitching under read mores season

lmao SOOO i told my grandmother, idk, a week or two ago that i was tentatively planning to come home on the monday or tuesday before thanksgiving. i.e. today or tomorrow. but when we talked saturday i told her i was planning tuesday, because i had work i needed to get done for grad school before i came home.

so she called me like five minutes after i woke up this morning and was like "hey what time are you leaving? i want pizza!" because that's a thing, she just like refuses to order takeout when i'm not there, despite the fact she very much knows how to do it, and then constantly holds that over me like "i can't wait for you to come home so i can eat out again" like *I* am the one holding her back from that.

ANYWAYYY i was like "no, remember i'm coming back tomorrow" and she got all huffy like "i just thought you would change your mind" and acted like a bratty teenager for the rest of the phone call and abruptly hung up on me

so thanksgiving is going to be fun this year 🤪

idk back when we had that fight in... june or july? my therapist said it sounds a lot like my grandmother might have borderline personality disorder, and i read into it and it does make sense, so i am trying to be more patient, because i really do love my grandmother, she has done sooo much for me and i don't want to completely not speak to her, especially if she's doing a lot of this because of a mental illness that isn't her fault.

but it's just like. she keeps pushing away her other kids (i am essentially her kid too since she raised me more than my mother did lmao, pretty much the entire extended family has decided this). some for valid reasons (my mother is the devil, my one uncle has a wife who is arguably even worse than my mother and he enables her) but some for absolute bullshit reasons (she barely speaks to my one aunt because she dared to suggest my grandmother see a therapist lmao), so she just puts more and more of her need to be needed onto me and like. it's just really hard bc a lot of the time i can't tell what she's doing out of genuine concern and care vs. what she's doing just because she doesn't want to be alone. and it just really sucks because my mother also has an agenda literally every time she speaks to me (which is almost never) and like. could one parental figure maybe just be nice to me because they care and no other reason lmao. doesn't feel good y'all.

anyway i'm semi-seriously considering entering the dating scene solely for the reason of having an excuse to not go home for the holidays lmao. or just making up a fake significant other. or maybe i'll find other people avoiding their families on thanksgiving and plan a trip, like to new york to see the macy's thanksgiving day parade or something.

#too bad i didn't write all these words for my nanowrimo novel 🤪 #anyway this was very cathartic #m.txt