#miguel never shifts that blame. he bears it wholeheartedly. but what i think he offloads onto miles in that scene is the resentment thats

[fellhellion]

tbh i don’t even think miguel’s breakdown rant about miles’ existence as “anomaly” spiderman causing the death of 1610 peter is even about peter, or even quite abt miles. it’s about the idea that somehow 1610 peter could’ve shut down the collider if it weren’t for miles, even though miles’ presence didn’t actually affect peter’s death in any way. it’s about the idea that peter could’ve prevented a reality - that is, anomalies getting slingshotted throughout the multiverse - that miguel feels like he’s buckling under the emotional burden of (”And all this time, I have been the only one holding it all together!”). But even that’s not quite it, it’s about the fact that Miguel has been sitting on the resentment of feeling like he’s utterly alone in this burden, when in reality he’s not. When he created a structure designed to help share that burden between people who should understand it the most. But he won’t - can’t - ask for help bearing the emotional burden because it’s not even quite about the anomalies, it’s about Gabriella. But you deserve to suffer for it, you deserve to hurt. You dwell and grieve her and a mistake you won’t forgive youself for over and over again, all while hiding away and refusing to confide in the people who care about you how badly you’re spiraling, all while a part of you resents them for not knowing, even as they couldn’t know. 

#this is only one component of what i read in his breakdown personally but its an interesting one. its not blaming miles for gabriella. #miguel never shifts that blame. he bears it wholeheartedly. but what i think he offloads onto miles in that scene is the resentment thats #been building - that he CANT acknowledge because doesnt he deserve that suffering? how else do you atone? - a resentment that he #feels so alone in what he does EVEN AS HE CREATED THE SYSTEM TO SHARE THAT BURDEN WITH EVERYONE ELSE #and they WOULD share it with them. but he won't confide because he's a chronic self isolator. because i don't think miguel can disentangle #himself from the fact that a part of him doesnt want to be in pain anymore #because he believes that pain IS the price he needs to pay for what he did. even though it was an accident. #so he offloads that resentment onto miles. blames him for peter's death because he can't acknowledge that resentment for what it is #because miles' very existence lights a beacon of doubt that every choice he made believing SINCERELY it would protect people may have been #in vain. and youve doomed those you wanted to protect all over again #ANYWAYS. is this anything fkjdshfkjsdhfkjsd #tunes talks spiderverse