#mindless and careless and *fun* and for once I’m making strokes that are confident and effortless in a way they rarely are

[mockingmolly]

god learning a new skill is always an upward climb but the moments of ease you finally start to see in performing it?? literally the best feeling ever. when something goes from conscious effort to muscle memory and the intent no longer needs to be there... like it’s not a one and done thing, sure. the knowledge you’re building up requires repetition for your ability to consistently cement itself in demonstration and you *will* struggle again and wonder if the potential was ever there at all. But you do eventually see the fruit of your labor and catching those moments in which everything comes a little easier to you and you can fully just enjoy your craft without the expense of so much energy is kinda magical not gonna lie

#art stuff #sivsi speaks #Obviously you don’t wanna get so caught up in perfectionism that you can’t just enjoy your interests but when you’ve dedicated yourself to #learning something? That shit is hard! It takes SO much energy even when you *are* enjoying yourself #and tbh a big insecurity of mine is that I can’t draw as much or as effortlessly as others seem to be able to #like the things I’ve been drawing are very new to me and still so far out of my comfort zone that drawing requires SO much of my mental #energy #i can’t just doodle and enjoy myself most of the time. even the shittiest little doodle can be draining and I know that it isn’t just #me being too perfectionist about my work? idk it’s just draining #but tonight I’ve been drawing and it’s SUCH a stupid little thing but I realized halfway through that the marks I’ve been making have been #mindless and careless and *fun* and for once I’m making strokes that are confident and effortless in a way they rarely are #It’s such a foreign thing for me to draw and not feel incredibly drained for having done so and ngl I’m kinda emotional about it! #I’m finally seeing the effort and the energy I’ve put into art grow into something comfortable and natural and I know it’s not gonna last #but god the potential is there and I’m so ready for it