#mostly Noah is so so so sooooo pissed that he has to run around doing this shit to learn about his father

[husband-steve-cortez]

I was thinking thoughts about Noah hating his dad yesterday. Idk why, given that I have very different personal emotions for my dad, ones that would be very interesting to explore in how Andromeda is set up with Alec...yet I can't bring myself to do anything but "Ryder hates his fucking dad."

I guess because I can't stand Alec

#mostly Noah is so so so sooooo pissed that he has to run around doing this shit to learn about his father #after he is already dead #the man is fucking dead and he still has us chasing after him. Sending us on a fetch quest. Still judging us. #oc: Noah Ryder #that's how Noah's going to feel about it #every memory is just going to make him feel like Alec wasted the time they had together #putting this shit together instead of just talking to him #there's a lot of tropes going on in Alec's story that I think are fine and make sense and are kind of timeless #I think the concept of growing up and seeing your parent as more of a whole person is a poignant thing #it just drives me batty. The whole 'oh I wasn't there enough' father figure thing drives me batty #(because of my dad lmao so I'm not entirely unpersonal here) #and the whole recorded messages of his woe is me routine is going to get under Noah's skin more than anything #like Alec isn't *that* bad but it annoys me all the same. And annoying can sometimes be worse #I mean deadass entirely Noah is not handling Mom being alive well at all but even before that #especially because Alec *dies* for you I think it puts Noah in this awkward position of not wanting to feel this way #but feeling it anyway and feeling guilty which builds resentment too and bubbles over in a big way #anway...