#no offense to the whole of psychiatry. im not going to your fucking hell house of an inpatient center.

[biolums]

typed out a wholepost about how i constantly crave attention ornevencjust That Person. drafted it because i said waymore thwn i want people to see (i am haha unstable on here. buti dont want to. like. i dont want you guys seeing me just. unstable). stood up. realized imwearing my exes shirt. and now im doing even worse. so. haha feeing kind of unstable here

#i wish i cried easier because how else am i supposedto fucking. get these emotions out. #like yeah writing that post made me feel a bitbetter but. this shit is like. its so much a part of me that i dont think ill ever be able to #escape it. like yes obviously i need therapy but. i just. idk #my self defense mechanisms have always been too strong. to like. have therapy be helpful #being surrounded by suicidal kids. really teaches you what to say and what not to say to a therapist. like #its hard to explain im just. to this day i dont thinkid ever be honest about suicidal feelings or self harm thoughts because. like #no offense to the whole of psychiatry. im not going to your fucking hell house of an inpatient center. #and i have so little faith in therapists that im just so sure. that the second that i say one wrong thing i get shipped off to the . #places of ly nightmares. no im not exaggerating like. both have my siblings have been where i would be sent. it is Not A Good Place. #neither is the bigger one around here :) both are known for their horrible fucking treatment. #my brother was just some kid they would shove pills in to see if they work. they diagnosed him with dvery thing they could so they could #hhhhuhm. when did this become about my fucking therapy trauma i think ive gotten rid of the firdt breakdown by having a separate. Issue #anyways. im sure therapists are great for other people but i dont fucking know how ill ever be able to trust a therapist #side note: if a family therapist ever getd brought up in conversation. kill yourself it will save you the trauma. #whew um. really said a lot here now i dont even want to post this one #i will because at the end of the day im always starving for attention. but like #haha please dont like. give me pity or shit. i am not posting it for anyone to see it and go aw :( poor jacey wacey :(( #im posting this because i feel likemy head will explode if i dont let these emotions out somehow #jace.txt