#nocturne is canonically trans and frankly the sooner I get to this in my one shot collection the better I will be for it

[optiwashere]

More trans Shadowheart brain worms from early morning idling.

Nocturne being the only person that really understands her in the cloister for so long, and vice versa. Telling one another that it will all be different when their training is complete (yeah it's an allegory within an allegory) with nothing but the future looking so bright for them. But Shadowheart will never have a future, not with the continual brainwashing and memory wiping. She keeps forgetting promises made, and Nocturne has to deal with that while Shadowheart is broken and remade for seemingly endless decades.

Shadowheart rediscovering that friendship over and over again, continually going back to her until it's too much for Nocturne to take. After one session of memory erasure, Shadowheart tries to go back to the only person she remembers and discovers that Nocturne has to stay away for a while to protect herself for once. That last bit of comfort in the cloister is gone, and all she can do is beg in her prayers for a respite from the confusing emotions battling over her broken memories. It's all too much for one person to handle and she lashes out. She takes it out on other acolytes, turning herself into a reflection of her own tormentors because this one connection, thought unbreakable, shatters.

Not having Nocturne in her life anymore, not able to remember anything important to her other than Shar, pushes her into training for the mission that leads into the beginning of the game. "Willingly" letting her memory be wiped yet again.

And side-note about the one shot collection: I didn't just randomly decide to use a cleric of Ilmater as a love interest. Ilmater is literally an avatar of compassion. He eases the suffering of others, taking the pain of the oppressed and those in great need and enduring it himself if it means saving even one person. His followers are encouraged to seek out the same sort of injustices and personal traumas, and to become shelter for those in need.

He's the god of Hurt/Comfort. How could I not?

#shadowheart #bg3 spoilers #my personal brainrot #trans shadowheart #nocturne is canonically trans and frankly the sooner I get to this in my one shot collection the better I will be for it #I want more non-romantic trans friendships in fiction #maybe I'll find the energy next month for it but I'm so close to being done for october and could use the break