#none of it excuses you from cheating. taking advantage of me. sexting this other person while in bed with me when i didnt consent to that.

[cowboyscrypt]

call me eddie brock the way im praying on your downfall

#vent in tags #vent tw #vent cw #my parents just completely made me have a meltdown about my ex and the old apartment and all that. #they meant well but. they dont know when to stop. #i paid a portion of the cancellation fee on the lease. 500 out of the 700 that was left. my old roomate had already paid some. #so like. logical solution is that my ex would be the last one who had to pay. right? wrong. #my parents make me check the account and its my roomates name AGAIN. not my fucking exes name #it makes me start breaking down. this whole goddamn time hes not paid a cent aside from emergency situations here and there. #even when theres a financial consequence to all of us leaving. he doesnt pay. its not his name on the receipt. he did not pay. #that fucking man child never once got up off his ass and paid. never. #mental illness isnt an excuse to financially and emotionally abuse someone. not realizing isnt a fucking excuse. #executive dysfunction isnt an excuse. not being self aware isnt an excuse. #none of it excuses you from cheating. taking advantage of me. sexting this other person while in bed with me when i didnt consent to that. #does he have any fucking idea how violated i felt by that? #hes getting his fucking rocks off when im cuddled up on him unaware of what hes doing and shirtless? #he used that excuse then too. he didnt realize. what fucking ever douchebag. whatever. #he does all this shit to me and i STILL stayed. i STILL paid for everything. i STILL let him do whatever he wanted. #even after he dumped me and started dating this person he cheated on me with within 2 days. even after he took advantage of me. #and to now have to reopen this wound because my parents pushed and pushed and pushed about it is so painful. #everytime i think im over it i get a reminder of the shit he put me through. the things loving him drove me to do. how he didnt care. #the paranoid schizophrenia is really hitting after this shit too. #im constantly worried he could show up at any minute and kill me or he could spread rumors about me or he could doxx me #he never cared about me. he never loved me. he loved what i could do for him. he loved using me for money affection and sex. #i paid for everything. that hurts so much. #i did everything. i paid for everything. i was willing to support him in everything he wanted to do. i supported him and his cats. #i loved those thats so much. it broke my heart to leave them. i hope theyre okay. they were my babies. #i just wanna be over it. i wanna not be delusional and have a psychotic breakdown every time i get triggered over him #i wanna not feel like hes stalking me and my socials. #i wish he had to pay that goddamn fee. even if it was smaller than what our old roommate and i paid. i wish he had to fucking pay it.