#not as much as accidentally ghosting people i care about but Wowzah

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

every night i wake up and say "this is the night i respond to my friends' messages" and every morning i say "i swear i'll do it when i wake up"

#repeat repeat repeat until you get stuck on that cycle of guilt and forgetfulness and guilt and stress and guilt and Oops Forgot Again and- #see this is why i'm really bad at making/keeping friends!!! #bc i meet someone and then they text me and then i Never Reply #bc i wait too long dithering on how to answer or i forget to open it and then its Been too Long #biting myself so so hard #mentally. not physically. im not into that. ....probably #hmmm apologies for Venting On Main im just feeling this intensely before i turn in #yet another day of telling myself ill do something important and another day of not doing it #absolutely unprompted #unfortunately i also tend to do this with asks/replies and it kills me inside every time #not as much as accidentally ghosting people i care about but Wowzah #i simply cannot escape this mental block when it comes to anything #i still have to reply to my grandpa's responding father's day text. its been a week. #wailing howling clawing my way into the cold dark earth etc