#ofc there’s no objectively correct way to write but u get what i mean the 2000 handwriting is WAY more fancy looking | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sageblogsthings · 3 years

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some thoughts that no one asked for but i’m gonna say anyways

so not tryna call anyone out or anything i’ve seen this a lot on writeblr,,,but please y’all when you post writing advice make it explicit that it is advice, not fact. there are no objectively correct ways to write or not write something.

i’m getting a bit tired of seeing advice/writing tips/things to avoid/etc that are written like they need to be taken as gospel. i love seeing people’s opinions on how to tackle certain issues or write in a certain way, but please,,,i’m begging,,,recognize that any advice you give is inherently what works for you. it will not and should not work for everybody else.

and please for the love of everything do not equate a genuinely problematic trope with something that you personally do not like. if you don't like it, great, but please make it clear that it’s your opinion and not an actual issue with the source material. not doing this makes your point confusing at best and minimizes genuinely problematic and serious issues at worst.

and last thing, before u post stuff please consider the impact it will have on other writers, especially newer writers. i’m not saying that everything you post needs to benefit others in some way or offer solid advice, but i am saying that if you post writing advice as though it is the one right way to do something and do not clarify that it’s simply your preferred way to do something that can and will confuse writers who are still figuring out what works best for them.

i’ll give a silly example here just so my point is clear bc i’m a bit low on spoons today but let’s say that i post something that says “people should not write about cows because x, y, z” or i post something that says “here’s 10 steps on how to successfully write about cows.” those posts may be helpful to people who want to write about cows, they may be viewed as hot garbage and left to rot on tumblr dot com who knows, but at the end of the day both of these posts are my opinion. simply posting them as “here is how to write or not write about cows” implies that i am some expert on writing about cows and that there is not another way to do it. i know that a lot of people don’t mean it this way when they post lil “hot tips” like that so that’s why i’m giving the wacky cow example to hopefully make my point clear: if you do not explicitly say that a post is your opinion on how to write/not write something it will come across like you think that is the only way to write something. so with the cow example i could say “things to consider when writing about cows” or put a note at the top that says “this is just my opinion, based on my experience” something like that. i know that might seem trivial and useless to some (and i could write a whole separate post on that) but when you translate it to a writing post that says something like “10 steps on how to outline a novel” i think it’s hopefully clear how that can be very misleading and confusing to some writers. saying “10 steps i use to outline a novel” makes it much clearer that the you are posting is subjective, because yes at the end of the day all of your writing advice and tips and tricks, no matter how helpful you personally find them to be, are subjective. (yes!! even this post that i am writing right now is subjective!! i recognize that some people will disagree with it and that is totally fine and ok!!)

again, i am really not trying to vaguepost here i’ve just seen a handful of posts in the literal last two days i’ve been back on writeblr that have done this and it’s a bit unsettling. and while i could make a whole long post about all the problems in writeblr and blah blah i don’t have the time or energy and i really don’t wanna spread negativity. the entire point of me posting this is to call out negativity in posts that discourage people from writing things they enjoy for no good reason. i just want to encourage people to be mindful of the impact that their words have. your content is ultimately your own, but please consider the impact it will have on others and how it could be interpreted, that’s all i’m asking. <3

(and ofc if anyone has opinions on what i’ve written that they would like to share that is always always welcome on my blog as long as it’s done nicely)

ty lovely people for listening to my incoherent screeching as i was semi-collecting my thoughts to write this i ‘ppreciate chu

@avi-burton-writing @sirius-xthem @gutblood @alicewestwater

#kit chats #rlly gonna start a kit rambles tag huh

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hellotvv · 7 years

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Can’t Assume Things About Ppl

Well, it’s been an interesting past two weeks. Something I learned though, is it’s crazy how you can’t really assume things about ppl.

It’s easier to say all that I want to say, and honestly it’s kinda tiring to recap it all in writing sometimes. But this is probably a pretty important lesson that I should keep in mind for the future.

Was fairly interested in Amandi and it seemed like she was kinda cool. Just kinda tho, since we didn’t really have that many similar hobbies. She works two jobs and works prettyyy often. So she seemed like a pretty hard working girl. She tries not to eat out too often as well, to save money. So yeah! She has nice friends like Chloe and Michelle, and they are pretty nice ppl. I know Chloe more personally obviously, and Chloe is honestly really nice. From stalking her fb photos, it seemed like she was kinda nerdy or had fairly nerdy friends in HS. Then in her ig, she has an eh looking ex bf, and he didn’t look like a fk boi or anything. She also doesn’t party too often, and seemed fairly nice from our interactions.

Turns out, oh boy do I not know her at all. Well, it makes sense, given that I’ve only known her for like 2 weeks LOL. But thankfully, Chloe sat down and talk to me. Essentially story went like this, been casually talking to her/flirting with her, and stuff. I was worried at first I seemed like a thirsty boy when asking her to hang and flexing my beanbag chair and tv that’s good for watching shows together. So I was like oh fk, gotta show off my nerdy side, so I don’t seem like a fk boi. Also I should just chill on it and only ask her to like idk eat or something normal, and she was super down. Also, since it seemed like she was a hardworking frugal girl that cares about idk how much she spends, I should try to not seem boujee or rich or spoiled or entitled idk. So I was gonna go on the in n out date, and then I told chloe about it, since she casually trying to wingman me. Then she tells me, ohh that was me? I was like ?? she told me that amandi told her that a dude that likes her is taking her to in n out. I was like ooh? I mean I knew she knew that I like her, since I told chloe that I thought she was cute and figured she would tell amandi ofc. But anyways, Chloe tells me she needs to tell me something important in person. I was like ??? wondering what it was, and she told me she had to tell me before going to in n out with Amandi. So I was like okie, i can meet u on campus in a bit. I did ask if it was another guy or something, but she told me no no. i was like ooh okie, I wonder what it could be.

So I met up with Chloe on campus, and oh boy would I have never really guessed the news. So Chloe is going to be Amandi’s housemate next year and are good friends with her. She said she fells bad about saying these things about Amandi, since it feels like she’s talking shit. But basically, she first asked me if I was gonna treat Amandi to in n out? I was like, uh yeah probably, just to seem like a nice guy you know. Then she was like ooh, she was expecting you to. I was like ??? I thought in my head, weird i didn’t specifically say it was a date or anything, and I was even potentially inviting chloe and michelle too. But I did think it seemed kinda entitled of her to think I would, but whatever I can brush it off. Jessica, Fyona and Brent immediately went wtf too, when I told them that she expected me to pay for her, and they were ilke but u didn’t even say it was a date when u first asked. Anyways, I asked chloe, oh was that the important thing u were gonna tell me? Then she was like oh no, and explains that Amandi has a history of like hanging out with dudes she doesn’t find out, since she knows they’re gonna treat her to like dinner or something. I was like wow O_O... Chloe explains that she doesn’’t know if it applies to me or not, and kinda flattered me a bit by saying that I’m good looking, but she doesn’t know if Amandi thinks I am as well and she doesn’t really know Amandi’s intentions. Then she tells me even more worst stuff about Amandi omg. :( I was so surprised, since idk Amandi didn’t seem like that type of girl. She explains that Amandi even once kinda put out, since this dude that she didn’t even like was gonna buy her a rave ticket/concert ticket. I was like holy fk.. O_O... She explains that Amandi once told her that her ideal guy is like a rich cantonese sugardaddy basically. I was like oh my,.. Then she explains that uh Amandi is the type that expects her bf to pay for everything. I was like damn, I totally don’t like that. Like I am the type to show that my SO means more than money and treat them out, never ask for gas $$, and spoil with small/big gifts depending on circumstances. But to EXPECT your SO to do those things is legit just entitlement and weird that it’s even an expectation lmao. Like I understand wanting your SO to do nice things once in a while or periodically show that hey they care about u more than $$ and etc idk, but to expect your SO to always pay for you/spoil you, then dang... I guess it kinda makes sense why she cares a lot about money, since it doesn’t seem like she wants to spend her own $$ and prob doesn’t mind spending other ppl $$. But I generally assume ppl who work two jobs are the type that idk value $$ but not in that way? Anyways, Chloe tells me that Amandi even didn’t pay one of their mutual friend for gas $$ when asked, and Chloe still upset about that since it’s her friend. But yeah, she was telling me that honestly the fact that idk I have a single room and seem kinda balling, is actually probably a turn on for Amandi lol... But Chloe just wanted me to know kinda what type of person Amandi is, so I know what I’m getting into. Chloe also explains that, she fells bad talking about her friend like this. But Chloe hears stories from Amandi obv about what she does to those dudes she doesn’t find cute and just kinda use them for dinner/etc etc since she knows they think she’s cute, and she obv doesn’t know them so she cant tell them. But she knows me, we’re friends, and going to beyond together in a big 8+ person group. So she just thought I should know. I was like wow, thanks for telling me, and I really appreciated it like honestly... I asked Chloe what I should do and if I should even take her to in n out still lmao. Chloe told me that I could and just not pay for her and see what happens lolol (brent and fyona also suggested this later funny), but Chloe says she doesn’t know what Amandi’s intentions are and maybe Amandi is genuinely interested. But she just thought I should know basically who Amandi is and doesn’t mind what I decide to do, it was just important that I know.

I guess the thing is, I was more surprised and shocked. Since I actually never met a girl that’s like that, that kinda just uses ppl shamelessly, and etc. Also, I never would have guessed honestly. Like I originally thought omg maybe i seemed thirsty for suggesting to watch shows together, when I really just wanted to watch shows and converse, not netflix and chill. So i tried to correct it, and I tried not to seem boujee and rich/entitled/spoiled/etc. But it turns out, I prob should be doing those things lol... and probably could easily get her to put out. But obviously, I wouldn’t do that, since that’s not me. Also I honestly wouldn’t really wanna be friends with a person like this, and definitely not dick them down if they’re a terrible person. I guess just shocked? Since it definitely seemed like she’s not that type of person based on idk friends (great sweet friends), seemed hardworking, and etc. But I guess you can’t really assume things about a person, and imagine I somehow dated her or even some other dude that dates her. Unless she or Chloe does tell the dude/me, I would have NEVER KNOWN. Like it’s crazy to think that a future gf that you love/cherish, could be someone that just using you for idk food/gifts/etc etc O_O... Like doesn’t she feel bad at all???? Maybe she justifies it somehow, but that’s so crazy and scary to think about.. Like I’d feel bad whoever opens their heart and become emotionally vulnerable and really care about her, only to maybe find out or even never find out she’s the type of girl that would literally put out for just concert tickets regardless if she finds them attractive or not... Like damn... I’m not even sad or anything over this, since I barely knew the girl for 2 weeks, and only thought she was kinda cute. I’m just surprised like I keep saying, since I’ve never really encountered this type of situation/person.

It just goes to show how many interactions with another person may just be in your head. Like I assumed oh seeming boujee/thirsty is bad, but ironically would have been good lmao. Maybe not good for dating, but I guess ‘getting’ the girl. Also it’s hard to assume what type of person someone is even based on the ppl they surround themselves with, her exes, fb photos, what they look like, and how diligent they seem.

Overall, not sad, very very surprised, learning not to assume things about ppl, and wonder how hard is it to really get to know someone then? o.o... Since really, like you could date this girl and probably never know unless one of her friends or her tell you... Kinda crazy and scary... I’ve learned some valuable lessons at least... Don’t assume things about ppl, try to be as objective as possible I guess and try to find out more about them from what other ppl say about them rather than what they tell you/how they seem on social media/etc (i guess pray their friends don’t lie for them too?), and it’s honestly better to just date by becoming friends, then best friends tbh.

I mean, everyone prefers their own way of dating. Like I’m sure some ppl don’t mind meeting their SO through like hitting on a girl at a party, going on a couple dates, and then blah blah end up together a while later. But I realized that I really prefer the friendship route, since I don’t have to worry about impressing someone, I’d be myself and if they like me for me, then yay and it wouldn’t be them liking me based on idk the mask/face/soley whatever good side I try to show them to impress them. Honestly I stay pretty true to myself even then, but still I like knowing that hey I’ve been friends with this person for a long time, they prob know a good amount about me, and genuinely somehow manage to have a crush on me/like me enough to want me to be a SO/romantically. Also chances are, if I approached Amandi as just a friend and not you know to hit on her, maybe in like months time I’d find out by her telling me or idk after being friendzone that she uses dudes LOL and I could be like whew dodge a bullet from being friends, and then idk. Idk where I was going with that, but kinda makes sense in head, but yeah she prob would still never tell another guy idk. God bless Chloe tho. But yeah, for me, friendship > dating seems best method generally. Many lessons learned, and surprised.

Will prob follow up with the conclusion to Amandi story. But she doesn’t know I know, and she still snapchats me/talks to me quite a bit, and even asked me when are we going to in n out lol today... Lol. Still want to reexplain, regardless of her intentions, even if she genuinely is interested in me for whatever reason as a person or from my looks or idk, I still am not interested anymore. Since she’s a terrible person, would make a terrible SO, and I don’t want to associate myself with ppl like this lol,.. I would not even contemplate dicking down an attractive girl, if she’s a terrible person. Since idk personal morals, and not too interested in hooking up with ppl tbh.

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