#oftentimes they end up destroying the unfinished piece when that happens bc now that they've had some distance

[byanyan]

byan disappears for two days but instead of emerging strung out and skittish like usual, their hands and arms are covered in paint and ink stains and they're a little distant but hungry as hell

#byan occasionally hiding away to work on a piece of art from beginning to finish to limit outside distractions #bc they have something in their head that they desperately need to get out #and if they lose focus at any point they'll never come back to finish it #it's probably no surprise to hear that these pieces are usually tied to their trauma #they get it in their head that if they get the vivid imagery out onto paper they'll be able to stop thinking about it (they won't) #but if they take a break at any point or get distracted and stop... coming back later is hard #oftentimes they end up destroying the unfinished piece when that happens bc now that they've had some distance #they don't want to relive the event again just to finish it #it's a coping mechanism they don't use often - at least not on this level #their sketchbooks are full of pieces like this but those are smaller and less elaborate - ones they finish in hours rather than days #sometimes certain pieces call for being bigger and more detailed... it just depends on how it looks in their mind #just smth that's been in my head for a couple days now that I've been mulling over idk #I think sometimes there's a little substance abuse that goes on at the same time too... #but not to the same level as the abuse when they disappear specifically to fuck themself up #it's more to like. make things flow and make it a little easier to sit in that memory for a prolonged period of time #so overall still not the most healthy coping mechanism :/ but it's not their WORST so. there's that. #━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ headcanon ⋮ danger in the fabric of this thing i made. #drug use cw