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#oh well. hope i end up teaching something im not too unqualified for. i could do soils. Ecology. uhhh. maybe intro bio but i never even took
opens-up-4-nobody
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9 months
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#sometimes u just gotta have a cringe fail weekend. is what i tell myself bc i let the fact that i forgot to check my new
#email completely obliterate me. also i haven't been sleeping enough. also just the normal thoughts in my head
#by which i mean the part of my brain that demands consequences for inattention by means of suffering. devine punishment.
#which is irrational and annoying but knowing that doesnt seem to help. so ive just been laying here in the hopes i come unspooled and start
#to disintegrate. which is annoying bc ive got stuff to do
#specifically bc i am supposed to b a TA this semester. which is what i figured but also feared
#so. thats gonna b a lot. tho not as much as my old school bc they dont make TAs do literally everything here apparently
#but. itll b a lot. and also i have to finish signing up for classes. bc i didnt do that back in April by my brain was melting. also i have
#to keep doing my job and dealing with my data. ugh. well. being a TA isnt so bad. i do like to help ppl learn even if im not very good at it
#like. i struggle with thr talking to ppl part. like the transition of ny thoughts to something thst makes sense
#oh well. hope i end up teaching something im not too unqualified for. i could do soils. Ecology. uhhh. maybe intro bio but i never even took
#university level biology. i just skipped upper level courses. that's probably it. anything else would b a lotta faking it
#ugh. im tired. i should go to sleep at 9pm. thr sun hasbt even set and i should sleep
#tomorrow i have to get my shit together. but also i wanna email my new professor like hey bro like what do u want me to do???
#like how do i start in this lab? when do we start talking. like just not to b pushy but whats thr procedure?
#i like Structure but also its like weeks until the semester starts so we got time. im just a lil nuts
#jesus. its gonna b an interesting semester. hopefully fun but uh it is sorta like taking a boat out when u can see big ominous clouds
#like im sure ill b fine but also i might get dumped over into a watery grave. i just. i have a lot of papers to write
#and its gonna b hard to b a student on top of that. partly bc what im gonna b doing now is almost completely unrelated
#which is probably y ppl stick to the same track they stsrt on. that awkward moment when ppl ask u if ur gonna keep working with bi0crust
#and ur like uhhhh no fuck that actually the work ive done in the past 4 years makes me hate myself✌️
#so we r back at square 1. well not 1 bc its sorta related but its a pretty big reset
#itll b fine once things start. its just thr anticipation that kills me
#unrelated
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