#one day i'll write a response that doesn't require me setting up a whole scene but that's not today ASDFG

[tvrningon]

[pin] - Sender and receiver are caught in a small space, causing their bodies to be close together. // for chiyo from rayo, im just 👁️👁️

seggsual tension | @metrictita's rayo gets close to chiyo!

she's not a fan of crowds.

it isn't just a matter of her social battery running low because chiyo can handle that, tough it out if she has to. it's the fact that her personal space becomes so much smaller when there's so many people nearby; it's the fact that she can't see over her taller neighbors; it's the fact some of them don't seem to notice when they're in the way, and she just wants to get out of the throng and breathe. being in the middle of a crowd makes her feel like she's in a room with the walls all closing in on her.

but it helps that rayo is with her that day, distracting her as he rambles about the game he's recently picked up that he's sure she'd enjoy, too. it's easy to drown out the rumble of the people squeezed into the train that afternoon when he's so excited, a smile stretched across his face that's genuine rather than just for her benefit. it makes chiyo smile, too, and she opens her mouth to ask about the co-op mode when the train comes to a stop.

she glances up at the digital sign. they've got another stop before they need to get off. chiyo readjusts her grip on the metal pole in her hand, turns her attention back to rayo. and then the influx of people comes.

very quickly, chiyo decides there isn't enough room in this stinkin' train car for this many people. strangers shuffle in closer, cramming themselves within the the small space; she stumbles as the train begins to move before the lot of them are quite settled, but rayo stops her from knocking into someone else. his hand is warm upon her bicep, steady and grounding.

" thanks, " chiyo breathes, trying her hardest to not look as agitated as she feels. why do trains have to be the fastest way to travel a city? they suck.

someone brushes against her back, and instantly chiyo's pressing closer to rayo, all tense and glancing over her shoulder. when she's satisfied the touch wasn't intentional, she looks up at her friend to gripe a little and realizes, oh. he's kinda close, close enough that she has to crane her neck to meet his eyes, close enough that their chests brush when chiyo takes a deep breath. heat rises to her cheeks, heart fluttering in a way that it definitely shouldn't. chiyo glances over her shoulder again.

damn. she's got no place to go.

" sorry, there's just-- there's a lotta people. " chiyo tries to smile, but it feels awkward. she tries not to breathe too much, hyperaware of the warmth emanating from rayo ( she's drawn to it like a moth to a flame; she fears she'll burn just the same, too ). " what, uh... what about the co-op mode? have you tried it with niko or gaia yet? " that's right. breathe -- but not too much! just keep talking, act normal. you're fine. he's fine. this is fine.

her grip tightens upon the pole. rayo's smile is back, just as dazzling as before, and again, her heart flutters nervously. this is fine. it's fine.

( ah, so we're lying to ourselves again, are we? )

#metrictita #one day i'll write a response that doesn't require me setting up a whole scene but that's not today ASDFG #my brain initially wanted to shove them in a closet but i couldn't think of a good reason that that would happen asdf #so you get a lil forced proximity via a very crowded train car!! #also i dunno if gaia would be into video games but pls know chiyo would teach her how to play :' ) #and then they'd attempt to crush rayo and niko at competitive games >:) #interactions | chiyoko

[starflungwaddledee]

Hey got a question, is it normal for your heartbeat to beat rapidly wherever you look at really tense or angsty scenes?

It's Just a question I had in mind

putting these together because they're clearly related. i admit these have me a little bit stumped, but i'll take this in good faith and do my best! under the cut because of length.

topics include: physiological reactions to fiction, emotional reactions/empathy of creators, and finally addressing the unspoken question present in asks like this.

"is it normal to have a physiological reaction (heart beat, jitters, excitement, sadness, etc) to fiction"

absolutely! i cannot overstate how common it is to have reactions of any wide variety to fiction. the whole point of storytelling is to make you feel things! the reactions you have, their intensity, and the specific media or genre you'll have those reactions to will vary person to person. in regards to angst in particular, like i've said on this topic before: reactions will vary. some people might get excited, others might get sad, others might feel it like a gut punch but in a really good and cathartic way. none of these are better or worse or more normal or more abnormal than the other.

"do i as a creator have an emotional reaction to the work i'm creating?"

i personally do, sure. i was actually quite explicit in the tags of the comic that came right before this ask that i found it hard to draw, because seeing kirby so sad was emotionally pulverising to me. do all creators? no. do i feel a strong emotional reaction to all scenes? no. or all types of content creation? no. for me, prose is actually much easier to tackle than illustration; i can write trauma and suffering and psychological devastation until the cows come home, but drawing it is a different matter. consuming the work of others is different again. and this is different for everybody. am i somehow morally better or more empathetic than an artist that doesn't struggle to draw characters sad? hell no! being able to represent- in fiction- a strong emotion generally requires that you empathise with or at least understand that emotion. sometimes creators actually have to be able to turn this off to be able to create the content we make; the way we turn off strict adherence to reality in order to write fantasy. if we couldn't do this, content across the board- art, movies, novels- would be flattened to nothing but the cheeriest and most mediocre parts of our day to day lives. no fun monsters (because those aren't real). no challenges to rise above (because those make us sad). no characters who have different experiences to us (because how could we imagine or feel for that). and it would be okay for like... twenty minutes of all books containing 'the sun was shining and i woke up on time and had a yummy breakfast', but then it would suck, sorry. conflict and imagination are the root of content.

"it's just a question I had in mind".

a way to think about this might be; would you ask these questions about genres that aren't angst? would you ask "is it normal to be happy when these characters finally reunite" or "is it normal to feel resolution in response to a happy ending" or "is it normal to feel excitement when a character has their cool hero moment". perhaps it's because your reaction to angst is something you construe as negative, but if you wouldn't doubt your reactions to cheerful content, then there's no reason to doubt the reactions you have to angst either; these are just reactions! fiction is designed to make us feel things, but what you feel will be up to you. no one feeling or response is better or worse than any others.

lastly, i feel like there is an unspoken question here that i don't like.

and maybe you didn't intend it. i'm going to extend that grace to you, and because you seem to need reassurance about this (though i will not be reassuring about this further. i do not like reassurance seeking from strangers and this is a boundary i am setting right now), this is not an attack or even a criticism. your questions are fine if they are coming from a place of curiosity and- i simply assume- that these are new or difficult concepts to you that you have yet to have explored or explained.

but on the good faith assumption you didn't intend it, and wouldn't want to do this again (especially if you message other creators), i think you should be aware.

because it sounds like this: "do the people who make sad/angsty/dark content care at all or are you heartless to the suffering (of these characters). is angst/dark content made by bad people?" i felt it the previous time i got a question like this too when it explicitly stated "you seem like a nice person", as if being a nice person was in contrast with what i was creating.

please. we are just people. the relative light or darkness of the content you make says absolutely nothing about your morals, your real life attitudes, or your ability to be an empath.

someone making cute animal art could be a school yard bully. someone writing a complex sci-fi warhorror fic could be the most altruistic and compassionate soul in the world.

in my experience, creators are some of the most empathetic people i have ever met, and many of them know their craft intimately. these are people capable of stepping into the shoes of others as easily as breathing. of sitting down at their work station every day and finding inside themselves a way to answer "how would this really feel?" so clearly and honestly that they can put it onto the paper for you to feel it too.

#being able to storytell in such a way that the reader feels something is a skill!! it is a Skill and not an accident or a moral failing. #if what someone's work makes you feel is not something you like; don't consume that work! #again... if angst is not for you you can block it from my work with this tag: cw angst #if it really hurts you my work may not be for you! this is a niche i am interested in and am *very grateful* to find others here are as wel #have seen this surprise expressed by other kirby angst/dark creators. it's a seemingly unlikely place but also the most likely place. #lastly: unempathetic creators also exist and are no better or worse than empathetic creators. #because lacking empathy is not a flaw and it also forms absolutely NOTHING about your morals. okay anyway. #once more: i will not be offering anymore reassurance to reassurance seeking. it makes me deeply uncomfortable. thanks. #also not to toot my own horn but that was a banger ending line. if you read to the end that's your reward. #replies