#or finds like. spaciousness and interest in the terror such that it is not paralytic

[rulesforthedance]

I would say before a race I’m looking forward to the pain cave; like, that’s what I want, I wanna visit it, I wanna make it bigger, that’s the whole purpose, um, I’m looking forward to some new hallucinated friends, and then there’s always just that, like... wonder? Like, it’s not fearful of, but it’s kinda like, I dunno, the unknown of what the unexpected thing will be during that race and will I be able to problem solve it and deal with it well.

Courtney Dauwalter on Some Work, All Play Podcast

#like I know we've heard elite athletes share their masochist tells so many times it's hackneyed BUT #something about her curiosity--'I wanna visit it I wanna make it bigger' I want to FIND OUT what else can happen and how I'll deal with it #is opening up a possibility for me of another way of approaching the Thing I'm dealing with #which is a brain problem and not a running problem #but. something about this approach that robs the thing of its ability to terrify #or finds like. spaciousness and interest in the terror such that it is not paralytic #hm. #if I could be like. gently playfully curious about 'what's in the hole that's not my grave THIS time?' #'and in what novel way might I climb out of it?' #anyway easy to say when it's the good time of day but WE'LL SEE