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adambstingus · 5 years

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Who on Earth Would Dox Dril, the Only Good Anonymous Person on the Internet?

For years the internet has speculated about the identity of Dril, the iconic Twitter user known for his absurdist humor and prescient tweets. No one would have guessed, however, that it would be fans of an 8,000-page comic who would get to the bottom of this notorious internet mystery.

Dril is not just another anonymous Twitter joke account. He is the public face of Weird Twitter, who’s become famous for his insane non sequiturs that speak to the core of humanity. His account has amassed nearly 900,000 followers and was declared “the single most worthwhile account on Twitter” by College Humor.

Dril’s tweets regularly amass thousands of retweets and his work has been aggregated on any mainstream viral media site you can think of.

“Twitter, as I understand it, is a sort of ‘Hell’ that I was banished to upon death in my previous life,” he joked to BuzzFeed in 2013.

And since tweets by Dril’s often account served as a respite to the “sort of Hell” Twitter can often serve up to users, the reveal of his identity caused instant uproar among many of his fans on the web when it went viral on Friday.

The fear that a beloved account would be exposed and shut down reminded many users of the famous @Horse_ebooks disclosure in 2013, when it was revealed that a perceived Twitter spambot known for its accidentally timely tweets was actually run by humans.

Dril has provided nothing but joy to his legion of followers for over a decade, only asking for anonymity in return. To many on Twitter, it seemed wildly unfair that he should be doxxed and shamed off the internet by an obscure webcomic fan community.

So why did a comic with an insular, sometimes incomprehensible fanbase reveal the secret of Dril that nobody wanted to know?

Because they believe Dril may have been one of them.

***

Homestuck is a webcomic born out of another webcomic called MS Paint Adventures. The comic centers around a group of kids who potentially bring about the end of the world by installing a beta copy of a computer game. This is an overly simplistic description and doesn’t completely get what the comic is about, but there are so many nuances and plot variances that trying to untangle them in any coherent fashion is almost impossible.

A 2012 Kickstarter described the comic as, “A story about some kids who are friends over the internet. They decide to play a game together. There are major consequences. Saying anything more about the plot would probably be getting in too deep. It gets fairly complicated.”

“You can get about as far as ‘the kids get stuck in a game’ before it becomes incredibly difficult to describe what is happening to them,” Kotaku writer Gita Jackson wrote in a 2017 Homestuck retrospective. “They discover dream worlds, fight villains who can stop time, meet gray-skinned alien trolls, discover they’re all related kinda, die and are resurrected. As the comic goes on it becomes exponentially more complex, to the point that even a lot of fans don’t really understand all of it.”

The most important thing to understand about the comic is that it has a rabid online fandom. There are over 44,000 Homestuck fanfics on fanfiction website Archive of our Own and a thriving community of hundreds of blogs dedicated to the comic on Tumblr.

Because of the fact that the comic is so complex and generally inaccessible to the even novice internet lurkers, Homestuck fans are frequently mocked. A lot of characters in the Homestuck universe have various sexual identities and the comic is popular with people who like shipping, or hypothetically pairing up different characters. “The whole thing is sort of set up just for people to ship and is all about polyamory,” one Twitter user said.

That said, Homestuck fans really love Homestuck. So much so, that they were really excited when Hiveswap, a game that takes place in the Homestuck universe, was partially released in September 2017. Fans picked apart every aspect of the game on sites like Reddit and Tumblr when one particular Homestuck fan noticed a name the user believed to be Dril’s on the Hiveswap game credits screen.

The connection between that name in the credits and Dril is tenuous, but there are a few clues that Homestuck fans found telling.

***

According to Tumblr user not-terezi-pyrope, a 2014 Tumblr reblog from someone claiming to know Dril offline referred to him as “Paul,” the first name of the person in the credits.

Jacob Bakkila, a writer behind the wildly popular @Horse_ebooks Twitter account, also claimed to know Dril offline. He said Dril had hired him for a project once and the two had become friends. Bakkila also said that Dril had contributed to the Horse_ebooks sequel, an adventure game called Bear Stearns Bravo.

Sometime between 2014 and 2017 a Tumblr user unearthed the LinkedIn account of the Paul named in the credits who claimed to have contributed to Bear Stearns Bravo—presumably the same “Paul” who was listed on the Hiveswap credits screen.

And, according to the Homestuck fan sites, there’s more.

One of the only 205 accounts Dril follows on Twitter is Cohen Edenfield, Hiveswap’s lead writer.

And “there are further connections, as well, to do with old accounts and comparisons of artwork, etc. I’m not up to scratch on the precise details of that,” user not-terezi-pyrope wrote on Tumblr. “Also, I spoke to somebody who did audio effects work for Hiveswap shortly after the Act 1 release, and while they seemed to not be entirely privy to the details they also brought up a connection.”

News of the Dril-Homestuck connection spread like wildfire through the fandom community back in September and there’s an entire Reddit thread dedicated to discussing Dril’s identity and role in the game.

But since the Homestuck fandom is relatively closed off from average internet and Twitter users, Dril’s “doxxing” failed to reach the wider internet until a few subtweets on Thursday afternoon followed by Twitter user @thrdplanet tweeting about the outing Friday morning.

“I cannot believe the homestuck fandom cracked the identity of dril 2017 is truly a cursed timeline.”

ThrdPlanet’s Tweet quickly went viral, and she experienced almost immediate backlash from Dril fans.

“i dont want to know who he is i dont want to know what he looks like i will not let you guys ruin the last good thing on this website protect dril, respect dril, leave dril alone thank you,” one fan tweeted. “look just because we might have found the corporeal manifestation of dril at this point in history doesn’t mean we know who dril is… also anyone trying to find out dril’s identity is a fucking cop,” another user said.

@thrdplanet deleted her tweets, and after being bombarded with criticism tweeted again, “Y’all realize this isn’t a confirmed solid legit info on who he is right. Y’all also realize if he really never wanted to be found out he could have been credited under a pseudonym right. He wouldn’t have his work dril has been named as writing for on his LinkedIn right?”

***

The very process of “doxxing” someone’s personal identity online is fraught. At the end of the day, the connections between Dril and whoever “Paul” is are tenuous at best. And even if Dril is a graphic designer in the New York City metro area, as has been previously speculated, does any of that take away from his work?

It’s understandable that fans would feel a protective rage that Homestuck fandom sleuths were coming for what so many consider the last pure Twitter account on the internet. Dril himself has not acknowledged the controversy today or two months ago when it was revealed on Tumblr.

It’s worth noting that his “doxxing” didn’t appear to be malicious.

“I’m posting this here,” Reddit user Fraven wrote after “revealing” Dril’s identity on the platform, “with the benign purpose of getting some special appreciation for the game’s (Hiveswap) great staff of writers and the talent within it.”

Other Twitter users remained resilient in the face of potentially losing one of their most beloved comrades.

One user suggested that over the weekend all Dril supporters change their Twitter name to “I am dril” in solidarity. Another said, “its the weekend baby. You know what that means. its time to drink precisely one beer and not dox dril.”

“Who is john dril?” joked someone else.

“I’m about to dox dril,” another tweeted, “okay here goes: the real dril is all the friends we made along the way.”

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/who-on-earth-would-dox-dril-the-only-good-anonymous-person-on-the-internet/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/184070098192

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samanthasroberts · 5 years

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Who on Earth Would Dox Dril, the Only Good Anonymous Person on the Internet?

Dril’s tweets regularly amass thousands of retweets and his work has been aggregated on any mainstream viral media site you can think of.

“Twitter, as I understand it, is a sort of ‘Hell’ that I was banished to upon death in my previous life,” he joked to BuzzFeed in 2013.

So why did a comic with an insular, sometimes incomprehensible fanbase reveal the secret of Dril that nobody wanted to know?

Because they believe Dril may have been one of them.

***

The connection between that name in the credits and Dril is tenuous, but there are a few clues that Homestuck fans found telling.

***

According to Tumblr user not-terezi-pyrope, a 2014 Tumblr reblog from someone claiming to know Dril offline referred to him as “Paul,” the first name of the person in the credits.

And, according to the Homestuck fan sites, there’s more.

One of the only 205 accounts Dril follows on Twitter is Cohen Edenfield, Hiveswap’s lead writer.

“I cannot believe the homestuck fandom cracked the identity of dril 2017 is truly a cursed timeline.”

ThrdPlanet’s Tweet quickly went viral, and she experienced almost immediate backlash from Dril fans.

***

It’s worth noting that his “doxxing” didn’t appear to be malicious.

Other Twitter users remained resilient in the face of potentially losing one of their most beloved comrades.

“Who is john dril?” joked someone else.

“I’m about to dox dril,” another tweeted, “okay here goes: the real dril is all the friends we made along the way.”

Source: http://allofbeer.com/who-on-earth-would-dox-dril-the-only-good-anonymous-person-on-the-internet/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2019/04/09/who-on-earth-would-dox-dril-the-only-good-anonymous-person-on-the-internet/

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allofbeercom · 5 years

Text

Who on Earth Would Dox Dril, the Only Good Anonymous Person on the Internet?

Dril’s tweets regularly amass thousands of retweets and his work has been aggregated on any mainstream viral media site you can think of.

“Twitter, as I understand it, is a sort of ‘Hell’ that I was banished to upon death in my previous life,” he joked to BuzzFeed in 2013.

So why did a comic with an insular, sometimes incomprehensible fanbase reveal the secret of Dril that nobody wanted to know?

Because they believe Dril may have been one of them.

***

The connection between that name in the credits and Dril is tenuous, but there are a few clues that Homestuck fans found telling.

***

According to Tumblr user not-terezi-pyrope, a 2014 Tumblr reblog from someone claiming to know Dril offline referred to him as “Paul,” the first name of the person in the credits.

And, according to the Homestuck fan sites, there’s more.

One of the only 205 accounts Dril follows on Twitter is Cohen Edenfield, Hiveswap’s lead writer.

“I cannot believe the homestuck fandom cracked the identity of dril 2017 is truly a cursed timeline.”

ThrdPlanet’s Tweet quickly went viral, and she experienced almost immediate backlash from Dril fans.

***

It’s worth noting that his “doxxing” didn’t appear to be malicious.

Other Twitter users remained resilient in the face of potentially losing one of their most beloved comrades.

“Who is john dril?” joked someone else.

“I’m about to dox dril,” another tweeted, “okay here goes: the real dril is all the friends we made along the way.”

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/who-on-earth-would-dox-dril-the-only-good-anonymous-person-on-the-internet/

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funnythingshere0-blog · 6 years

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20 Facts People Don't Know About Tow Truck Drivers

New Post has been published on http://funnythingshere.xyz/20-facts-people-dont-know-about-tow-truck-drivers/

20 Facts People Don't Know About Tow Truck Drivers

by Alex Keobke

– on Aug 23, 2018

in Car Culture

When you were growing up there may have been several different careers that you had aspirations of one day getting to do. But I don’t know if I’m speaking falsely when I say that I don’t think many people grow up hoping to have a career as a tow truck driver. Though if I’m being fair, you may be about to read several things that make it a very intriguing career option. Such as the fact that they make more on average in Canada than a significant portion of the population.

That being said, you would also have to deal with several awful ramifications of the job. Such as the fact that one of the tow truck drivers on our list once got whacked in the face with a baseball bat. But his co-worker was shot at, so I suppose perhaps this person was just counting themselves lucky. But if “lucky” means you only get beat up with a bat, then a new career may very well be something you consider.

There are also many little tricks and tips that tow truck drivers have been known to implement. Some of which that may explain why they have given you some headaches in the past if you have had to encounter them. Though this list is also going to be well worth your time because I also mention ways for you to save some money if you do ever find yourself having to interact with a tow truck company.

These are the 20 things people don’t know about tow truck drivers.

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20 They Can Lie To Get An Address

Via yrcat.com

When it comes time for a tow truck driver to come and take your car, one of the most important things for them to know is your address so they can come and find it.

But how they go about finding an address is not always the most honest way, at least according to a former tow truck driver.

“They might have someone call the guy and tell him something stupid like he’s won tickets to something and they want to know where to send them – anything sneaky so they get the guy’s address,” Sounds similar to a situation where someone may disguise their appearance in order to deliver court ordered papers!

19 They Can Get In Serious Altercations

via vanmag.com

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There are some negative ramifications that are sure to come with any job that you choose to do. But the life of a tow truck driver can include some serious altercations when you get on the bad side of someone, “We kind of walked into a group of people who saw that we had our company tow truck shirts on and a friend got into a little bit of an altercation with them. I was trying to tell everyone to not worry about it and go home, but when I wasn’t looking I got a baseball bat to my face,” said a former tow truck driver, as well as saying a former co-worker had been shot at while on the job. (Source: CNN).

18 It Can Get Competitive Over Who Tows The Cars

via dfwtowingservices.com

You can understand that there are some jobs out there where you are facing some serious competition. And for tow truck drivers, they definitely may have to deal with someone else trying to come and collect on illegally parked cars.

A former tow truck driver mentioned how he would swoop in when the time was right.

In the process they ended up making their competition pretty upset, “It’s not my fault they haven’t been going and checking for cars. They thought no one else would be at that property and little did they know I just rolled up and took all their cars”.

17 They’ll Sometimes Leave Illegal Cars As A Trap

via richmondlcc.co.uk

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One of the biggest reasons as to why you may choose to park where you do is because you’ve noticed there are other cars in the area. But that doesn’t always mean those cars are there legally. In fact, they may be purposely left there by tow truck companies in order to catch more people, “Normally, these drivers won’t grab all the cars from a lot because they don’t want people to think there’s a strict policy. It’s kind of like fishing, you want to keep some bait out there. But when the money’s tight, people take every car they can,” said a former driver when talking about their methods. (Source: Neatorama).

16 They Need To Make Sure The Car Is Empty

via superstreetonline.com

This might sound like a ridiculous story, but you can only imagine the dread that this tow truck driver felt.

After towing a car in Illinois, the owner of the tow truck realized that there was still a child inside the car!

Making the situation perhaps even more problematic was the fact that the child suffers from Down syndrome. You can make the argument that the father should have never left his son in the car, the whole situation is a nightmare for everyone involved. The driver was later wanted for charges of child endangerment after he let the child out after a few blocks. (Source: ABC).

15 They Have To Give An Estimate For The Costs

via nateleung.com

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It can be a nightmare to see your car getting towed as you start to calculate the potential costs that are going to be associated with it. But in Canada, there are rules implemented to help make the process a little bit less frustrating for the driver, “The rules changed that motorists are required to sign authorization before towing commences, and also receive an estimate for the costs that are going to be incurred, and the costs cannot be more than 10 percent at the end of the day beyond what was initially quoted.” Which means that at least you aren’t going to be quoted at a certain cost and then get the actual cost later that is significantly higher. (Source: CBC).

14 Customers Can Pay A Drop Charge

via blogspot.com

If you looked out your window and saw your car getting towed, you may start to panic. But if you want to help solve some of the problems associated with it, make sure you go out and talk to the driver about a “Drop charge”. When discussing how the “Drop Charge” and the different rules around it can work (as things like the cost paid may vary), the Globe and Mail stated “Once the car is hooked, the tow-truck driver can proceed with taking that vehicle to the impound yard.

If the driver gets there before the tow truck operator has started hooking up their car, they can pay him a fee – 50 percent of the $70 towing fee – to let you go.

If the driver moves the car before the tow truck arrives, he avoids the impound fee completely,” (Source: TheGlobeAndMail).

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13 They Really Help Keep Traffic Moving

via pchscottcounty.com

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You may have a very good reason to have some scorn for a tow truck company that has inconvenienced you in the past. But tow truck companies are also hugely important for helping make sure you are able to get to work on time, “Certain streets through the city are designated as rush routes. Between 7 and 9:30 a.m. we tow all the illegally parked cars to keep the traffic moving – otherwise you’d have gridlock. It’s bad enough as it is, because they’ve changed a lot of the streets to accommodate bike routes; it’s really starting to slow down the movement of traffic,” said one tow truck driver when talking about the impact he has on traffic.

12 The Quality Of The Cars They Typically Tow

via clovertowing.com

It might be nice to imagine that the tow truck driver is towing away expensive supercars that are hopefully owned by people who are more than comfortable paying the fees it costs to get their car back. But in some cases, it’s the nicest cars that can get left behind “Sometimes you’d have a fairly new car and under weird circumstances the people didn’t come to claim the actual nice cars,” said a former tow truck driver. But perhaps the owner just goes out and buys themselves a new car? Though he did go on to admit, “But it’s pretty rare that the cars were nice”.

11 They Can Make Serious Commission On The Job

via unsplash.com

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One of the best ways for a tow truck driver to take home a bigger cheque isn’t necessarily to make sure they are working longer hours, but that they are being effective with their time, as commission plays a big role in how much they ultimately are able to earn.

It was reported that the main tow truck company in Vancouver, Busters, pays tow truck drivers 67% of whatever it is the tow fee is.

Another tow truck driver who worked in the industry for over 35 years also stated that most of his income also came from commissions. (Source: TruckDriversSalary, VanMag).

10 They Need To Be Careful Not To Ruin The Car

via junkcarbuyersdirect.com

If you are getting ready to tow a car, you need to make sure you are doing everything you can to do the process safely. When one woman’s Pontiac Vibe AWD was improperly towed, it ended up causing some serious damage to the vehicle as the transmission was ruined when the car was towed while in park. “I didn’t want to be a b*tch, but I was very assertive and called Busters every day until they paid the bill for $3,650. The tow truck driver had to pay for everything.” Yikes! You can imagine that was probably a pretty awful day of work when the tow truck driver realized what they had done. (Source: VanMag).

9 There Is A Great Deal Of Paperwork That Can Be Involved

via shutterstock.com

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If you had to guess as to what a typical day would look like for a tow truck driver, you’d probably assume it involved a day that was almost entirely spent on the road. But that may not always be the case.

When describing what a typical day looks like, an online website made sure to warn people about the significant amount of paperwork that the driver may have to deal with.

Which means that you want to spend a solid amount of time working on your penmanship as it may end up being just as important as your driving skills! (Source: SuperiorTowingGreeley).

8 They May Have To Work On Call

via edpeer.org

One of the most frustrating things about your job could be if you are required to be “on call”. Which means that even if you are sitting at home and getting ready to enjoy a nice home cooked meal, there is a solid chance that your phone is going to go off and you are going to have to go into work. Something that may be even more annoying for tow truck drivers who – unlike other professions like firefighters – won’t often be given the luxury of having several days off in a row where they are considered “off call”. (Source: Deadron).

7 There Is A Code Of Ethics

via everystockphoto.com

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No matter how nice you are as a tow truck driver, you are probably still going to find yourself making people pretty upset when they have to see you. But perhaps that’s just the nature of the job. But at least with Busters Towing, located in Vancouver, the company promises to abide by the code of ethics that was officially published by the Automotive Retailers Association. Which means that part of working for them must be understanding what that code entails in order to be able to make sure you are following it! (Source: BustersTowing).

6 There Is A School For Towing

via savetow.com

It is perhaps common sense that you need to be a fantastic driver if you are going to be able to have a career as a tow truck driver. At least unless you want to get into accidents on a very regular basis.

They also need to make sure they have good eyesight, or at the very least, be willing to go out and buy some glasses!

But if you are from the states did you know there is a program you can go to get officially certified by the Towing and Recovery Association of America? You can imagine that would probably look pretty good on the resume! (Source: TraaOnline).

5 Don’t Try And Drive Away Once Hooked

via trbimg.com

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It is possible that once you see your car start to get towed that the driver may agree to let your car go. But if you have your car fully up on the tow truck, the last thing you want to do is to still try and make a break for it. An incident in Colorado Springs occurred in 2011 when a woman tried to drive away after seeing her car was being towed which led to the cable become accidentally wrapped around the tow truck driver who was then dragged to his death after the woman drove for 1.4 miles before seeing what she had done. (Source: Quora).

4 Cops Will Give Them The Order To Tow Cars

via wikiwand.com

There is another entry on our list that talks about how if you find yourself getting towed, that you have the option to potentially pay a small fee and have the car not get towed. But if your car is ordered to be seized by a police officer – which is definitely something that a tow truck driver may have to experience – you are going to have no luck trying to convince them to let you go with just a small slap on the wrist! But I suppose that’s what you get for breaking the law in a significant enough way that law enforcement had to be called.

3 They Need A Contract To Tow From Private Property In Australia

Via philztowing.com

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If you are living in Australia and have aspirations to become a tow truck driver, you need to make sure you are organized. When discussing the job on the government website, the responsibilities of the tow truck driver is outlined “Tow truck drivers must carry a copy of the Towing Consent (evidencing the written contract between the tow truck license holder and private property owner/occupier) when towing a vehicle from private property and produce the Towing Consent to a vehicle owner or authorized officer on request.” I’m sure having the towing consent has helped solve many arguments in the past. (Source: TMR.Gov).

2 There Are Different Ways To Tow Cars

via wheninmanila.com

You might not know this when you start looking into the career of a tow truck driver, but there are several different ways that you can help get your desired vehicle moved. Depending on what it is, some tow truck companies – such as Bill’s Towing & Recovery – has access to things like a flatbed. They may also do what is more “typical” in your eyes by moving the vehicle by lifting it by the wheels or frame. But that may also mean that if you think your car is unable to be towed, you can probably think again. (Source: BillsTowing).

1 How Much They Earn Per Year

Via auto-towing.ca

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It is very possible that now that you are at the end of the list that you have aspirations to become a tow truck driver! But if you do, you definitely want to be aware as to what they normally make on any given year. It was reported that – at least in British Columbia – that the average Median of $49,313. Which, to be fair, does mean that they are making 1.5 times more than what the average person in Canada is earning. Though considering some of the horror stories on this list, I’m sure there are many drivers who feel they are significantly underpaid for the frustrations that they have to deal with! (Source: Neuvoo).

Sources: VanMag.com, CBC.ca, TheGlobeAndMail.com

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Source: https://www.hotcars.com/facts-people-dont-know-about-tow-truck-drivers/

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metarot · 6 years

Text

Side note – Josh is ambiguously ill – he’s potentially schizophrenic, potentially not; obviously sick, yes, but with? He’s an inherently, intrinsically, fundamentally disturbed man/person; his dreams are more or less play-by-play snap-recollections of traumatic and/or traumatizing events/memories; the death of his mother, sustained and prolonged physical/emotional abuse – a tragic etc.etc.etc – a sort of perfect storm and concoction of various so and so issues that express themselves in a passingly/cursory sadism and machoism that can only be really described as edging; a sort of halfway-gratifying externalization of deeply internalized thoughts and feelings that does, eventually, lead to his ultimate “demotion”

Rye

From: [email protected] (you) To:[email protected] CC:

Subject: Re:Re:Re:Re:Re(…) daily journal and/or note-to-self anthology (sp?)

04-19-2004

just because i dont say it dosent mean i dont think it

i feel more than i am on the outside a tired and slow procession of empty emotion and really if I were to choose a word to describe how and as i am it would be that -- tired literally metaphorically fundamentally i am a dead man barley half-way brought back to life (re: Lazarus) very weakly trying to claw his way back into a familiar grave (cliché yes true yes -- if its been said before why does or does it not (?) matter if it’s true?) -- anyway to the real (real? Intended? actual?? what should I say here that i do S(dont) not?) message tucked and buried in this mess (im a mess and i know it – what the wall said) -- i am lost and there isnt a way out and im sorry and no matter how i try i cant and what has so been eloquently described to me as a quote downward spiral endquote (“”) has or has recently caught up to me (the ground at the bottomless pit more like) and i have finally taken the time out of my already very busy day as you know to finally notice and yes what many would call quote giving up endquote (“”) or quote submitting to a self-subscribed fate endquote (“”) and acknowledge that yes my time here is up and i cannot stay for much longer if any time at all and to punctuate or maybe exclamate(sp?) my point not all who wander are lost but I sure am and what started as a confident march ends in a whimpering limp through a deep dark that i cannot see thru

i wont say goodbye but im obligated to say thanks anyway

Josh’s Word of The Day: -- for you especially:

bit·ter·sweet

ˈbidərˌswēt/, adjective

1. (of food, drink, or flavor) sweet with a bitter aftertaste.

· arousing pleasure tinged with sadness or pain.

From: [email protected] (you) To: [email protected]

CC: [email protected]

Subject: daily journal and/or note-to-self anthology (sp?) (01-01-2000)

You’ve very prudently (if I can say that about such an early judgement call) asked me to, in your words, “voice in plain language”, as a more-or-less new-year’s resolution, what’s “keeping me down”; it’s not a short listed, and I feel compelled to (at the very least) forewarn you that I’m not a necessarily happy person (but you’re here to help that, so it’s fine(?), I guess).

I don’t like fluorescent light or, even, the word itself -- it reminds me of a pale sick-green tinge and pallor in my skin exclusively; sitting in an office chair, stare-spinning into the chalky, plaster-and-plastine(sp?) ceiling with those admittedly gross bright-yellow-almost-grey god forsaken fluorescent lights that make me and my weirdly-high cheekbones and thin ash-skin look more gaunt and corpselike than they and I already do not withstanding or considering what little, balding black hair I have does nothing to alleviate an admittedly freighting and death-like air that I have

They’re on the bus, the trains, my office and my house -- they’re cheap, not really very technical appliances that need to be oft replaced or serviced but my god do they give me the worst headaches and work more than/as nothing other than a reminder that I’m the primary auxiliary character in some avant-garde art film that pans and zooms and fisheyes a little too close to the face of some glum, doleful, sagging and sad average-looking middle-aged man or woman with shadows cast long over their point, sharp eyebrows and acne-ridden, bony jaws that accentuates this awful feeling of discomfort and hunger and rot that I can’t help but feel that that isn’t the general impression they were going for in the first place

I guess I just don’t like feeling nauseous or uncomfortable (I sincerely doubt many people do at all -- maybe some special color or flavor of masochistic deviant -- but I digress) -- for some reason, physiological or psychological, I think there’s something poking and sticking out of my stomach and my intestines that’s hot and solid yet liquidly-fine like molten iron or steel that seeps in and out of my ulcers (That I know I have for a medically proven fact); I can’t say if its bile or blood but I do know that if I don’t eat for a period of some days (which I usually don’t – food makes me want to violently vomit/throw up and the thought of anything mildly warm or cold in me, my mouth, or otherwise is enough to reduce me to a manic mess (if im not already one)) it (the bloodbilemetal feeling, that is) gets almost intolerably worse and I honestly only eat or drink anything at this stage to keep me from passing out from the pain and mental malaise of knowing that something is there that I can’t personally account for or take responsibility as to or of; I’ve quite literally almost taken a sharp, pointed needle or small, swiss-army like knife and punctured the little pouch of belly fat that sits over my atrophied once-athletic abdomen to bleed myself of this “bad blood” and restore my “balance of humors” like a sick and (by modern standards) barbaric doctor from some long- forgotten, dark century where it honestly wouldn’t be the worst thing to have some diseased, plague-ridden piece of dirty metal jammed into you if it meant that you’d at least die in a few months and not physically feel your body suffer through mortal agony for or years or weeks on end knowing that you’d essentially be subject to the same net-effect of nonexistence either way

Im sorry and thanks for your time, I’ll write to you soon

Many more to come, (and yours truly),

Josh

Josh’s Word of the Day:

pipe dream, noun

1. an unattainable or fanciful hope or scheme.

From: [email protected] (you) To: [email protected]

CC: [email protected]

Subject: Re:Re:Re(…) daily journal and/or note-to-self anthology (sp?)

07-15-2002

Im sorry im sorry im soryr im soryy?

I needed badly to get that out of my system really – this past year and the year before and the year before has been one very large and scary exponentially-progressively worse and worse train wreck that I can’t stop and I don’t think that I can anymore

I dream only of and in words at this stage – anything that is concretely visual or outside of hearing/” experiencing” language is/are very vague and very brief images of what I think I remember my very very late mother looking somewhat maybe like – atmosphere is tense and I feel a very pungent and precise feeling of regret each time I wake up

I’ve noticed that lately my thoughts have become markedly more dark and have assumed what could-be(?) described as self-harming in nature; I’ll blink, pause (for what feels far too long for a normal – is there a scientific standard for a normal, decidedly subconscious bodily function?) and think about jamming a nail under my big toenail and kicking a door or wall very hard or peeling my eyelids off with tweezers or drilling big, metal screws into my shins

i don’t know if it’s because i burn myself with wax or compulsively pick at my skin but I feel a very distinct urge to poke and prod and see how far and much pain I can take all in one go just to make sure that I still feel something other than cold and nothing or a little bit of both at the same time

Sometimes when im on the bus or train I feel like jumping out of a window or running headlong into an oncoming train/bus/both –I wonder honestly what dying might feel like and im afraid that if and when I find out it’ll be more of the same and I’ll have gone through all that pain and effort for nothing and die full of regret and realize ive done and been too little too late and die during my already-underway death from disappointment and a broken heart – i don’t know if very many likeable or normal people think of jumping from windows (which, I feel compelled to and should add my new office’s 6th story has a single thinly-paned sliding-glass-door-esque window situated right over and above the freeway and I can say that from the time ive spent after-hours wandering floor to floor desk to desk wall to wall back-and-back again it’s the only actually functional window I’ve found in the entire 200-foot-something building; its weirdly convenient and more so weirdly alluring)

i look like ive lost more weight and that’s not a bad thing I don’t think – I can almost just see all of my ribs and the grainy sand-like grit and texture of my bones through my beautifully paper skin and each day I feel like im getting closer and closer to what god is and what god has wanted me to be all along; im a little self-conscious about how big and disproportionate my head looks on my spiny, spindly pencil-thin neck and how frail my knocky elbows and knees are but i cant eat even if I try so really why even make the effort if you know that you’re just going to make it more painful in the long run (why do anything if you know none of it matters deep down?)

anyways thanks again and for everything so far – I’ll write you soon I really hope

josh

Josh’s Word of the Day:

ex·fo·li·ate

eksˈfōlēāt/, verb

1. (of a material) come apart or be shed from a surface in scales or layers.

"the bark exfoliates in papery flakes"

From: [email protected] (you) To: [email protected]

Subject: FWD: Concerning Josh Haag -- Incident

09-09-2001

Management,

As the Chief of California Operations I believe this to be a concerning note for one Joshua Haag, a System Admin of ours. Read full details from our HR department below, but it is in fact my decision to demote him. Our company health insurance would not cover mental health service, but we would strongly recommend it to him if he stays apart of the MC family.

Any concerns, please leave a direct reply.

Lucas Shaw

Chief of California Operations at MiddleCorp™, 12380 E. Dorchester St. Silicon Valley CA, 94087

----------forwarded message----------

From: [email protected] (you) To: [email protected]

Subject: Concerning Josh Haag Incident

09-02-2001

Mr Shaw,

In the company it is our policy to notify management of any disturbing notes from HR. Yesterday the Human Resources Department ran into a rather upsetting matter. System Administrator Joshua Haag was found hanging by his neck on a rafter in the second story bathroom by saleswoman Martha Stein. ([email protected]) Various coworkers of Josh ran in and thankfully saved him. We are not sure as to why he would resort to such drastic measures, especially on company property. This email is simply meant to inform you, as it is management’s decision as for Josh’s future with the company. Personally I do not recommend we keep him on our Administration. Anyone aware of the situation is very uncomfortable, especially those working directly under Mr. Haag.

If you require any more information, please let me know.

Pam Lancaster, MiddleCorp™ Human Resources Department, 12380 E. Dorchester St. Silicon Valley CA, 94087

From: [email protected] (you) To:[email protected] CC: [email protected]

Subject: Re:Re(…) daily journal and/or note-to-self anthology (sp?)

09-03-2001

Im not even going to look him in his (eye??) eyes – hes a disgustingly handsome awfully beautiful awful person and what -- honestly is the comparison and competition between a ratty once-been systems administrator who cant help but feel absolutely threated by “a higher existence”

Its absolutely the last straw – they’re obviously trying to phase me and only me out of their godforsaken system and I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT

Im sorry if I’ve (or, my messages, in reality) are coming off a bit more frantic and disjointed than they usually do – ive been experimenting with a hypno-sedative cocktail-concoction and I have noticed that its more effective at keeping me awake for days on end than it actually is at getting me to sleep (and stay there/like that) in the first place – the stress of potentially, no, not even, not losing my job, no, voluntarily as a screw-you kind of message and metaphorically speaking finger-giving finale leaving this awful awful awful no-good we-only-let-the-pretty-ones-to-be-in-the-cubicles is just too much not EVEN considering that there is a very messy personal element involved now that i NEED with a very LARGE and BIG emphasis on NEED to tell you about

One of the older, huskier, more dead-and-defeated looking edge-of-middle-age blondes of the office (her name is probably some shade of Cheryl or Sherry) – the kind that always makes me wonder that in 10 or 20 or never if I’ll get married or settle down like all these thick-jawed, broad-faced, ugly-but-not men of the universally consistent late 20s/30s or will I die alone burning and melting the circuits of a server like the man-rat that I am – the bathrooms on the 2nd floor aren’t marked, and since today has really been bad enough before the incident I resolved/more like decided to more-or-less hang myself with my already tried and true very strong leather belt that I wear for one reason only – really awful terrible days like today especially

So there I am, the boy genius extraordinaire, hanging from the unfurnished ceiling, tied and strung on and under a steel rafter, in a very very (what you would believe) compromising position when the aforementioned Cheryl-Sherry walks proudly in like she owns the single, poorly cleaned stall (without knocking, I should mention, WHICH IS A CORPORATE POLICY), screams really too loudly, runs out red-faced with streaks (more like streams) of thickly applied makeup and mascara running down and over her pouch-y cheeks and once-pretty knobby double-ish chin and before I know whats happening (I was more concerned with my pants being down near my ankles than anything) im being dragged across this dirty bathroom floor to “safety away from myself” and being crocodile-cooed by all these poorly sympathetic people and I HONESTLY can barely stand the thought of thinking of remembering something as legitimately horrifying as today has been or ever will be(?)

Talk to you soon,

From: [email protected]

(you) To: [email protected] CC:

Subject: Emails (Sep. 4th, 2001)

Stop sending these to me.

Yours Truly,

Dr. Robert G. Anderson, Licensed (pending) Psychiatric ProfessionalTM at and by the Internet's BestTM Online Resource for Emotional Counseling - opensourcepsych.org

From: [email protected] (you) To: [email protected]

Subject: RE: open when alone

09-05-2001

That ratty nerd in the back? I didn’t know he was an admin... LOL not like it matters anymore :P And yeah I’ll see you there, 6pm ;)

Peter Alcazar

Salesman at MiddleCorp™

12380 E. Dorchester St. Silicon Valley CA, 94087

----------original message----------

From: [email protected] (you) To: [email protected]

Subject: open when alone

Did you hear about that guy trying to hang himself in the bathroom? Haha looks like he finally figured out that nobody likes him LOL. Anyways, you still on for dinner tonight?

Sigourney Yagey, Saleswoman at MiddleCorp™, 12380 E. Dorchester St. Silicon Valley CA, 94087

From: [email protected] ( (you) To: [email protected] (CC: [email protected]

Subject: Re:Re:Re:(…) daily journal and/or note-to-self anthology (sp?) (11-18-2001)

I started dreaming again, on very sudden and short notice, and I can’t say im a fan – there’s nothing there for me at all

Tonight’s episode started just above my chest cavity; cue opening credits and a brief roll of the cast and I can feel the bony knot just above-and-to-the-right of my sternum brush and squeeze against something cold and hard and the smooth ridge and cleft of my leftmost ribs catches on a sharp angle and the pain is something what you’d think literally “bone-crushing” would feel like; its dark, and each shufflestep I take im further and further from where I should be but do not want to and the closer and the louder my everything threatens to break I smell toothpaste and mold in an old air conditioning system and plastic from cheap toys and feel silky warm smokeair move through and over my fingers and cold cold toes and there it is – me and my mom, my mom and I – she’s crying into her arms and hunched back and so is her wife at the counter of the clinic and im too interested in the green-blue-turquoise wall behind them that bleeds numbers to ask or wonder for too long why

I feel like im sometimes-usually drowning in my emotions but thats like drinking too much water when you’re stuck in a desert somewhere in an unbelievably god awful awful place

I should have loved my brother more -- I should have done a lot of things better than I have or have done -- I should have realized that I am short lived but my problems are more so -- Im done for tonight, I know you’re only contractually and not legally or financially obligated to reply to anything I send you but please please please please just tell me even if you’re lying that things might just be ok

Josh’s Word of the Day:

com·punc·tion, noun

1. a feeling of guilt or moral scruple that follows the doing of something bad.

0 notes

m0rr1s0n · 7 years

Link

I'm going to break down the loadout of mods and their configs along with some key features that stand out to me. Then I'm going to really try to give a description to explain why I made these choices and in the process of doing so, hopefully shed some light on how to break into it and what to expect when it all comes together. But it's on you to read mod descriptions to really fully understand all changes and feature each mod has as it's utterly pointless for me to try to describe a mod's features in more detail than the actual author. I'll, however, explain my own tweaked version of another mod. I'm (trying) to make a video to really home in on certain aspects of combat, especially the little things that add up, like avoiding getting hit.SKIP THIS IF YDGAFAll in all, I suppose an intro is due to try to sell my 'way to play'. Good combat, to describe it in a vague way we can all agree upon, depends on two skills, actively dealing damage and actively mitigating damage. Bad combat leaves little room to be good or bad at either of these outside the raw numbers being put in. Good combat is difficult but does not force the player into looking for cheese strategies (and hopefully restrains one's ability to indulge in them) nor is luck the majority determining factor in the outcome of a battle. Good combat is varied not only to prevent stagnation but to keep the challenge evolving in such a way that the player does not learn a single strategy or trick to win every battle. A game as massive as skyrim has it's limitations in consistency and mods assist in but don't always succeed in overcoming these limitations. For example, even with my mods, you may find these overpowered one-trick builds. However, remember if you feel you're becoming overpowered you can always increase spawns or if necessary enemy stats (NPC releveler) to restore challenge. I don't recommend tweaking difficulty. There's so many reasons that I don't care to list them all but essentially damage dealt/damage received is worse than so many imaginable alternatives which is part of why we're using mods in the first place.(Even simply jacking up healthpools, as cheesey as it sounds, is a much better method of increasing difficulty from a balance perspective. Take vigor for example, if enemies deal 3x damage and you deal .5, it doesn't matter what armor you wear, you're going to get 1 hit staggered by just about every enemy. Poise is then rendered useless, and heavier armor though slower and more stamina consuming, doesn't have any added benefit and we mine as well be using an 'every hit staggers' system on your end. Meanwhile, enemies will eat 2 handed powerattacks without staggering. You get the point.)Guide Starts HereFirstly, make sure you download SSEedit, the Creation Kit, and a BSA Extractor (http://ift.tt/2w4sjmz)Simple Must-Haves I won't comment on (for now at least):Alchemy Fixed (http://ift.tt/2uQiq9S?)Harder Lock Picking (http://ift.tt/2wF3yzF?)Scarcity (http://ift.tt/2uPZtUS?)Serio's Spells & Shouts Hotkeys (http://ift.tt/2wFCznL?)Harder Barter Settings (http://ift.tt/2vfGiVo?)Realistic AI Detection (http://ift.tt/2wFq5fY?)Enai's whole catalogue. I don't consider myself an Enai fanboy [as much as anyone that uses all of his mods can claim not to be] and I accept no mods are perfect however great their author. If I were a dick I could even point out some seemingly poor decisions made here and there (fucking technomancers) but I just don't see the point in playing without his perks, races, standing stones, spells, enchants, and so on. I don't know of any replacements that are as interesting and balanced. Essentially, everything he's added simply improves the vanilla experience. Make sure to get thief skills rebalance from the ordinator download page.For Ordinator, open it up in Creation Kit and find perks under 'actor' in the object window. While in perks, search 'vancian', double click the perk that pops up and in the window that pops up from there find conditions. The first condition says 'GetBaseActorValue', double click that and in the small window that pops up change the 'Value' (should be 30) to 70. Make sure you 'Okay' out rather than exit the windows, but close them. Now search 'Quadratic' do the same for that perk but make the Value 75. Finally search 'Dungeonmaster' do the same here but make the Value 80. If you grasp what I'm doing here then you can select your own values, otherwise stick to mine. There's good reasons for this, one being I highly (and I mean highly) recommend the ordinator version of this mod: http://ift.tt/2vgoGsy? More on that later.For Apocalypse, open it up in Creation Kit and find 'spells' in 'Magic' tab in the object window. Once selected, search longstride, open it up, in the inner window titled 'Effects' you should see two effects listed. Click the first one and set the magnitude to 80. Click the second and set to 160. I encourage you to play around with this to come up with a fair value, but the reason for this is Athletik Combat and (were you to not use it) Vigor reduce movement speed while casting which ends up making longstride not worth casting since you can just run that fast (or faster) without casting.For Wildcat, configure 0 cost for everything and disable bow draw stamina drain (we'll rely on vigor for this), Turn off the slowdown at low stamina (same reason), I prefer injuries off nowadays as I find everytime I'm injured I mine as well be dead, everything else on. I also (sorry again Enai) recommend you download SSEedit, load Wildcat, find 'fDiffMultHPToPCN' and 'fDiffMultHPByPCN' and set their values to 1.0 instead of 1.5. This is because one shotting is not conducive to balance on either end, in my opinion (You can still obviously potentially 1 shot enemies that are much weaker than you).http://ift.tt/2v6lkMO - First read and do this: http://ift.tt/2vpox57 is the first mod mentioned, you only need to do the ini edit for perks since we're not using it for spells. Next run it (Data/Skyproc Patchers/Asis) and only check perks. NPC perks is an excellent method of increasing their statistical power in a less artificial, more interesting manner than just tweaking damage dealt/damage received.http://ift.tt/2v6AvFB - I recommend my tweaked version, obviously, as I made it for my own use originally, but I'll link Alex9ndre's real version as well.First, the config. Again, I find injuries to be automatic death far too often (maybe it's just me). Turn off conditional damage in favor of Wildcat's.Vigor has a fatigue and stamina action system which I've altered and expanded on. Running (not sprinting) doesn't debuff stamina regeneration In my version as I believe you shouldn't be encouraged to stand still, however low stamina results in worse stamina debuffs [up to 60% slower] so that it becomes harder to avoid damage and reposition the lower your stamina. Also Low Magicka [Disorientation] results in slower movement speed as well, and casting costs a small amount of stamina 5-15 depending on how low your magicka is.Original - http://ift.tt/2v8Fplx Tweaked Version - http://ift.tt/2vpildv Overhauls Combined and MLU Simplified - The variety of enemies in Vanilla skyrim is appalling and you may not even realize it until starting a game with Encounter Overhauls Combined. Even enemies that differed, didn't differ like this. Their speed, their attack types, and abilities really inspire a more adaptive mindset. This, in my opinion, is why EOC is the core of this loadout. Not only is it incredibly well designed from a challenge viewpoint, it does so without "cheating" or breaking lore in any jarring ways given that you dont decide to load up all the SoT features alongside it. This is, in my opinion, the best addition to skyrim's combat. The author is so conscientous about balance issues and jarring lore-issues that emerge from combining (or using) some of these mods and works hard with frequent updates. See his page and every mod he mentions having a patch for MLU for download and install. USE MORROWLOOT ULTIMATE SIMPLIFIED. Then download all the mods his mod combines and tweaks which he also lists. His recommended loadout, even the extended one, are pretty solid and they work well with the rest of the mods in this guide.For configuration, activate OBIS and don't change anything. Sands of Time is where it gets tricky because the authors are insane.. seriously. Equip 'ring of danger', which summons the Sandman. Activate Mod. I have most experience with 'Ale Drinker' difficulty and it's not all that easy. Then ask the Sandman for the Revelation books. First, if you don't like seeing things that make no sense in Tamriel let alone Skyrim (and I hardly know shit about either's Lore), open up the Ruminari/Assassins book and disable the zombies alltogether. The SoT team have their own lore behind all three groups featured in this book but the zombie one has some jarring issues like "Hell Knights" and with everything going on they simply feel out of place but if you don't care, go for it. The EOC developer Tzu, is still working on balancing out the equipment of the two assassin groups which was their main issue especially early game. They're still absurd IMO but beatable especially in cities with guards, but if you are having trouble early on just disable them everywhere until your character strong enough to take them on. Just remember, sometimes running or getting help is okay. Go to toggles and turn off both of them. Open up the other Revelations book select Lore -> Lore Toggle and Disable Non-Lore Friendly. I now know this doesn't turn all the others off so just to every one like chests, armors, and burning inferno and turn them off as well, it's just too much and often imbalanced. Back out and go to Walking -> Spawns -> Half as Many, at least early game. In Misc toggles turn off outside spawns and dungeon spawns, at least early in the game. This reduces the chance you'll suddenly be mobbed by a horde of enemies you have no shot of overtaking. Again the SoT teammembers are as insane as they are talented.The SoT encounters are usually fantastic. They help even out a sometimes inconsistently challenging game. For example, that single Draugr boss in bleak falls that adding enemies around doesn't help improve because he only spawns after you get the first shout.. he pops out as you're approaching from the stairs. Little encounter tweaks that just make sense gameplay-wise are part of what makes SoT great when configured. I even recommend increasing the spawns as you become more powerful and the game (potentially) gets easier. Roguelike just adds a variety of different, mostly Lore-friendly enemies to the game and with the help of the author of EOC places them logically and they're usually very well balanced. I feel EOC cleans up some of the whackiness and balance mishaps much like it does for SoT.Advanced Adversary Encounters alters enemy types in a more conservative way to make combat more challenging and interesting without arbitrarily cranking stats up. EoC integrates changes and integrates them into the other encounter mods. Different enemies have different weaknesses and resistances. Has it's own compatibility patch page.MLU Simplified is just MLU stripped of features like deleveling. Loot is more important and placed logically. Grab patches from the MLU page not MLU Simplified page. I'll link both. I highly recommend using the slower skill leveling addon.For MLU Slower Leveling, go into Skyrim -> Data -> Plugins -> Sumwunn and open the ini file with notepad. See all those 0.5's next to skill names? Change those to 0.25's. Or use my preferred, even slower setup balanced with different rates between spellcasting, craft, and physical combat skills: http://ift.tt/2vqRzSc: http://ift.tt/2v8ypVP S: http://ift.tt/2vrnGRL (for Slower Leveling & Patches): http://ift.tt/2voRs9D & Watchtowers Reborn - Genesis was intended to be an addon to Sands of Time. When I first tried it, I didn't understand how it could differ from SoT's spawn system. Then I played with it for a bit and it felt much better on default settings compared to SoT's increased spawns. From what I understand now, Genesis literally randomly generates more well-placed spawns to every dungeon in the game so that going through the same dungeon again will be a different experience. Watchtowers does this for watchtowers. Genesis config: For spawns, keep the default settings but obviously remember you can increase or decrease these spawns depending on your experience. Change Spawn Always to (Yes). Disable the treasure module as this can throw off the gold economics of the playthrough. Genesis features a releveler if you feel the mobs it spawns get out of control BUT I recommend if you want to use something like this, use NPCs Releveled (I don't recommend using either until you try the game for a bit without as I believe there should be greater variability in stats and it can't account for some encounters where the stats of enemies are very intentionally unusual.): http://ift.tt/2wFNHAK? It uses a more logical scaling system that accounts for different enemy types. You can add exceptions to the releveling but the obvious ones are like followers are already exempt from the effect. I recommend, if you use it, to turn off the size scaling on minibosses. It can cause some issues in my experience.Genesis: http://ift.tt/2v90IUd Reborn: http://ift.tt/2v6fJGk Enemies & Athletik Combat - These two combine to ensure fair mechanics between you and the enemy but also improve the feel of melee combat in particular. Firstly, dodging is made much more possible through imperfect accuracy, increased strafe speed, and limited rotational range when swinging. This just feels right even as the one swinging. I didn't forsee how much this would impact the enjoyment of combat especially swinging a two handed mace around.Mortal Enemies: http://ift.tt/2vrj7Xo Combat: http://ift.tt/2vpmq1c Tweaks (Required by EOC & Skytest Harder Creatures - These two cover all non-humanoid enemies in the vanilla game. They alter stats and AI behavior but Harder Creatures also add new attacks animations. Make sure to grab compatibility patches from AAE's patch page.Animal Tweaks: http://ift.tt/2v8n1Jv Harder Creatures: http://ift.tt/2v5OQ5i Spawns (Only Boss x2) - Install increased Spawns, either version, but only keep the Increased Boss Spawns esp. This is interesting. For example, where there's usually that named bandit boss, there's that named bandit boss and a generic bandit boss and usually of a different race and setup. In dungeons, I've seen different boss types altogether along with EOC. This ensures those bosses that don't already have a couple grunts around them aren't as easily dispatched.http://ift.tt/2vp1Yxt Edition Followers & Amazing Follower Tweaks (AFT) - SE Followers doesn't sound like much but it really makes followers worth having for purposes other than loneliness. It adds uniqueness and value to followers. Shit, even Sven has some impactful tricks up his sleeve.Regarding AFT config, talk to a follower: tweak options -> settings -> NO COMBAT RECOVERY, no skill synergy, limit to 3 followers.Here's a potentially really important tweak you need to make if you're using followers. Open console click one them and enter this one by one: forceav attackdamagemult .33 You can adjust this to your liking but remember to do it to each new follower you acquire. This ensures that you can't just sit back and watch followers win fights for you, but rather they will rely on you. With specialized followers they'll have tricks and sometimes it's adding extra damage (like Faendal's magic arrows) but it's all supplementary to your performance. Not to say Lydia's "lay on hands" hasn't saved my ass 100,000 times but you can't just mindlessly mash attack while your followers do the heavy lifting. The reason I keep extra stats is so that they're not just cannon fodder that get leveled at the start of every fight, with their general AI, they need that defensive boost (ironically though, one of Jenassa's ability can make her pretty resilient). I personally don't assign combat AI through AFT because I'm not sure how it could interfere with Specialized Followers. I recommend you don't either.Special Edition Followers: http://ift.tt/2vreDQs Follower Tweaks: http://ift.tt/2v5RNTz - We don't have a dodge mod in SE. This takes some getting used to but it's a pretty decent placeholder. Again you can avoid damage through good movement, but it doesn't hurt to have a short burst of speed for some stamina. Works best when moving side to side as with this loadout backing up is usually too slow to make swooshing backwards a reliable method of avoiding damage. Choose the faster option. http://ift.tt/2vp7tMZ require Perks (Ordinator) - Just as the name describes. No more, casting master level spells as a novice mage. No more warrior that hasn't used a spell all playthrough buying an advanced spellbook and learning to make meteors rain from the sky. I chose the default version but many of you will probably prefer the No Novice version which allows anyone to cast novice spells without perks.All Trainers & Unlimited Training - We're using a tough barter mod, we've reduced skill leveling to a quarter of vanilla, and we've restricted spells' use through perks . Wondering why (Barter is multipurposed)? Because Skyrim's system isn't deliberate enough to REALLY BUILD characters with strengths AND weaknesses. What do I mean? I mean, I'm this wandering 2handed scimitar wielding, contingency buffed elf mage shooting fireballs from my sword and that's fine but when does it stop? I don't have potions, how do I get health back between fights. If I'm injured and I get away, how do I heal up. You buy flash heal and before you know it your restoration skill is tailing just behind your destruction and enchanting skill because you use this spell so often not even just in combat, but for time-saving convenience. Pretty much every mage ends up a cleric. Now, I have to grab the novice perk (not if you use No Novice) and take Healing instead of Flash Heal. and now my Restoration skill level won't skyrocket.So we install Unlimited Training. Now we can spend our precious gold on skill levels all we want. With all these mods in place, you can still level skills up by using them and will, but training becomes a staple for leveling your primary skills. So you're actually deliberately choosing what's going to level up the most and with economic consideration. But now I have to travel 800 miles this way and 400 miles that way everytime I want to train? Not with All Trainers. With this Oldrim mod there's a trainer for every skill in Whiterun. All you have to do is extract the folders/files from the BSA and drop them in your data folder along with the ESP. There's one little issue. "The Guaridan" (Block trainer). Open the mod up in CK, go to actors tab and search the Guaridan. Correct the typo. Save.All Trainers: http://ift.tt/2v8zDQU Training: http://ift.tt/2v5BENI Act Like Shields & Better Wards - Wards are particularly weak, even with this loadout, with a lot more magic being casted against you. These 2 mods make them actually useful. With these a wards and shields are similar yet with their own pros and cons: shield is faster, has timed block, doesn't cost mana, can bash; but a ward protects against spells, random chance of stagger, and also allows you to attack or cast with the other hand while being maintained.I use many other mods but these are the one's that affect gameplay. I also use Nexus Skyrim Overhaul, which believe it or not is compatible with all of these, and every single weapon/armor mod EOC provides a VIS patch for.Shields Act Like Shields: http://ift.tt/2vrzcMN Wards: http://ift.tt/2vp6fkA StylesTip: I found 3rd person much better for learning dodging without swoosh and getting behind enemies for backstabs (Wildcat). Try it out even on mage/archer, just zoom out when enemies close in. I happen to use 3rd Person fake dodge which makes it fun and engaging: http://ift.tt/2v87CZz this loadout, even typical grunts can give you trouble if you're careless. Of course there're always trash fights where you can sit back and spam to win, but I'd argue these are a necessary gameplay feature. What really matters is if the game is frequently challenging and varied enough to stimulate you.However, as far as Combat Styles go, the two heavy hitters are vigor and Wildcat. Firstly, enemies will block pretty much any frontal attack if they have the stamina to do so. They'll bash stagger you if you let them work in and without good attention to positioning this will lead to you being pummeled by other enemies which may then result in a poise stagger; a potentially fatal combo. On top of this, enemies are just much more persistent and consistent. They react more believably but are smart to the point where it can leave you wondering, initially, what can I even do here? This is good. It's good because not immediately recognizing how to defeat basic enemies when the odds are against you stats and numbers-wise is the basis of solid combat so long as the challenge is surmountable and without relying on luck. The second main ingredient, as mentioned previously, is variation because otherwise once you truly master defeating a single type of threat, the game becomes a cakewalk. By adding different threats to keep the game from becoming too predictable, challenge is maintained.Here's a couple tips for fighting basic enemies. Firstly, Mortal Enemies and Athletik Combat make dodging possible even without Swoosh and it's rewarding. Always try to bait an attack in one direction while circling to avoid once the animation begins. Then, of course, you have to keep an eye on where you're moving in relation to the other enemies, if there are any, which there very often are. Stay moving against large packs of enemies, and check your blind spots when you know your safe from the front for a second. Swoosh takes some getting used to. Just remember one rule, don't backpedal with it or you'll just waste stamina. Secondly, given the opportunity pepper blocks with attacks that don't overcommit you (directional power attacks) unless you know the power attack will break the block. Also, anticipate dodging when power attacking and you'd be surprised what some FPS snapping can get you. A good power attack trick in a situation where it won't get you surrounded is to forward power attack from absolute max distance. This can catch enemies offguard and keeps space between you and them. Timed blocking and bashing are obvious gotos BUT it's best not to play purely reactively, unless, potentially, your build works with that style. Often playing aggressive with good positioning and movement is more effective especially when the odds are against you and you need to thin the enemy ranks quickly as possible.I recommend bumping SoT to Spartan when you become familiar with mechanics like dodging without swoosh or if you're simply finding it too easy, otherwise you might see it as impossible BSCharacter BuildingWhen it comes to Character Building, fun comes first. You can always tweak mod configs to increase or decrease the challenge. Adding restrictions like perk requirements for spells may sound deceptively like favoring balance in place of fun but imagine you're playing a pure warrior character and you get a full set of daedric gear before you even kill your first dragon. Spells are now something not only to build for, but to look forward to as a spellcaster. The reason Vancian Mage and it's successive perks are made to require high alteration is because of how vastly powerful they become with this setup. Vancian mage means you can cast any spell in the game without required perks, but only 20 times before resting (however 5 more skill levels in Alteration and you can grab Quadratic Wizard and start building those uses). This is actually a cool concept for Alteration mages that take this path. They obviously can't use these spells to the same effect as mages with many perks in the spells' school but they suddenly acquire immense utility. Rather than allow an Alteration based character to get this in Embershard or Bleak Falls, they now have to experience the restrictive system for a while and will really feel the worth of Vancian. I'm not even sure 70 is fair tbh, but I've come to be less obsessively nitpicky so 70 is good enough for me.. for now.My experience so far with this setup is spread your perks too thin and you may struggle, yet there's always periods where an investment in a side tree can be more beneficial than continuing to climb.Primary Characters I've Been Testing WithFirstly, the game does not start out super difficult. While, there were a couple sticking points for me early on, I actually contemplated employing increased spawns for non-boss enemies. Now, on my level 26 I realize that would've been a pretty terrible idea. Even if the game managed to simply never challenge me enough, I'd increase difficulty through configuration the mods I already have. I have a level 26 Destruction(high)/2handed(high)/enchanting(mid-high)/alteration(mid) mage and while he's incredibly strong against single enemies, even bosses, his perks are spread too thin and he lacks the longevity to fight big groups or prolonged battles without struggling. I'm still fully able to progress but I have to REALLY play, and die a lot. With that said I die a lot on every character.I have a Conjurer around level 20 and even with a really optimized build, I'm at the border right now of increasing the difficulty. Ustengrav happens to be a pretty easy dungeon beyond the first two fights or so and I did die in the second fight against all those undead and I wasn't playing carelessly. Turning SoT spawns on the lowest possible setting or cranking up Genesis' spawns would probably put the difficulty in a very nice spot for me. So far, I've a poorly optimized build with some overpowered perks (Spellscribe and its successors may need a requirement bump, but its so fun I haven't gotten around to it yet) that usually has tough time but can demolish single enemies and a well optimized build that isn't exactly rolling over everything but could use a little difficulty bump to spice things up AND it's easy enough to do that. The simplest solution is enabling/increasing SoT/Genesis spawns. I plan to keep tweaking as I see necessary and should keep this updated as well.I'm not sure reddit is the best place for it (it may be out of sight within a day or two) but reddit is what I know so for now it's here.Any input or questions? just leave a commentSorry, I'm continuing to fix format and typos. I know it was horrid at first. Just cleaned Enai's mods section. via /r/skyrimmods

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