#possible or implied saiouma... haven't decided yet... but it seems leaning that way

[destination-despairing]

Here take this snippet I wrote for an au that I haven't fleshed out at all whatsoever and might never write unless I can find a plot that helps me explore this dynamic that made me wanna write in the first place

"Lonely? What kinda dumbass question is that?" Kokichi snorted with amusement. "Did your lobotomy finally kick in or something, old man?"

Izuru's expression, as always, did not change. He just blinked, tilted his head, and waited patiently for Kokichi to stop the charade.

Well tough luck, cause Kokichi had charades to spare, he clowned around professionally, and he wasn't about to let this guy (of all guys! The irony!) psychoanalyze him.

"You think Shuichi, or Miu, or Gonta, or any of those losers mean a damn thing to me?" He laughed, setting his hands on his hips and looking out over the city. "You knew from day one they're all just pawns to me. Isn't that what makes me so interesting?"

"Not really, no." Izuru rested his chin on his hand, eyes following Kokichi's movements. He was carrying himself like a king, standing here on the rooftop and surveying his kingdom. Kingly or not, though, he was talking too much and too fast, his hands fidgeting nervously whenever he thought Izuru couldn't see.

"Tch. Whatever." Kokichi rolled his eyes. "People like you and me, we don't get lonely."

"What made you think I'm like you?"

Kokichi paused and turned back to look at Izuru: wind toying with his endless hair, feet dangling over the edge of the roof, no fear of falling whatsoever. Just sitting there and watching Kokichi like he was some… some… damn mouse in a maze! Some experiment or prank!

"We're both bored by the world, we've been over this," he groaned dramatically. "It's the only reason we hang out. I do unpredictable things, and you don't react to jackshit, and it makes things interesting for both of us. This? This isn't friendship or whatever, so don't try to use it as an example!"

"I wasn't going to."

"Huh?" Kokichi did not feel rejected. Why would he? He didn't want to be accepted so rejection wasn't even on the menu.

"You wouldn't accept us as an example," Izuru said. "Because us involves you, and you lie most of all to yourself." He stood up, almost daring gravity to pull him down from the ledge. "I don't have the patience to lie to myself. Perfect or not, I'm human, and I've found comfort in being around others."

"Bullshit," Kokichi huffed. "You're not human! You're a… a… Frankenstein with a computer for a brain and ice for a heart!"

"Frankenstein's monster," Izuru corrected.

"Oh my god you are so pretentious," Kokichi replied, not missing a beat. "Well, whatever. Maybe we aren't the same. Maybe I'm just better than you, huh?" He laughed. "Guess this means I get all the fun to myself, while Izuru Kamukura goes off to pway with his fwiends!" 

Kokichi hadn't realized he'd started pacing until his foot slipped on the ledge, and for one terrifying moment his blood ran cold as he felt nothing but air beneath it.

He gasped as Izuru caught him by the shirt front, preventing him from falling. Just casually saving his life as easily as he did everything else.

"I wonder how long your lies will amuse you," Izuru said, and Kokichi looked wide eyed about himself as he realized Izuru wasn't pulling him up just yet. "... no. I wonder how long they will protect you." 

"Y-you gonna keep being all dramatic or are you planning on dropping me?" Kokichi's hands had grabbed instinctively onto Izuru's arm when he'd caught him, but now he pulled them away. He let his arms hang loose in the air and dared Izuru to do it.

Izuru pulled him back up to the roof and set him down.

"... boring." Izuru sighed and turned back to the roof access door. 

"B… I'm not boring!" Kokichi called after him. "I'm unpredictable, you said it yourself."

"I regret that compliment. It's all you hung onto, and now your substance is… weak. Boring." Izuru ran a hand through his hair, fingers catching on a dozen tangles. "Goodbye. I'm sorry to have encouraged this."

"Get back here!" Kokichi demanded. "Don't talk to me like I'm some stupid kid! Hey! God, did they remove your balls too when they took out your frontal lobe? Get back here and be the straight man to my comic! God, you suck!"

Izuru kept walking as Kokichi slung insults at him, opening the door and letting them fade into silence as he took the stairs down.

Izuru rarely felt strong emotion. The world was old news to him and therefore he found it hard to connect. Still, there were times the world drew him in long enough to feel something. 

Right now he felt regret.

Well, now that he was leaving, Kokichi had a lower chance of following in his former footsteps. It had taken him too long to find the antidote for his apathy, and he felt that Kokichi's apathy was perhaps even more dangerous than his own. 

His phone rang once he exited the building. He was unsurprised to see Makoto's name on the caller ID.

"Hey, I was going to pick up dinner on my way home. Is Kokichi joining us?" 

"No."

"Did something happen?" Makoto asked. "You sound upset."

"My tone hasn't changed in any way."

"Whatever you say. We can talk about it later if you like."

"Mm."

#izuru kamukura #kokichi ouma #makoto naegi #kamuegi #possible or implied saiouma... haven't decided yet... but it seems leaning that way #fic #River posting #S fave #Tumblr won't let me like our own blogs posts so i gotta go back in here and tag it