#probably not helping the anxiety levels with the stupid amounts of caffeine i'm consuming trying to fight the headache though

[capitalnineteen]

i am just like absolute hellfire levels of anxiety today for some reason.

and *everything* is amping it up. like this ridiculous fandom discourse that i know doesn’t matter. someone told me a hateblog got started for my favorite ship over this newest BS and like i could *feel* the tidal wave of chemicals flooding me yelling ALARM ALARM ALARM

and i looked at it (because i’m just full of good decisions) and actually it’s one post with a valid point 

so then i feel WORSE

my coping is kermit the frog levels of running around with my arms flailing above me screaming DISTRACT DISTRACT 

or a different image: the junklady in labyrinth just picking up any random bit of trash going ‘oh, what about this bear, wouldn’t want to forget yer bear deary!’ piling up any possible distraction.

and it’s all such meaningless stuff to let affect me and i know it. 

#the dumbest part? #i'm actually in a really good mood? #probably not helping the anxiety levels with the stupid amounts of caffeine i'm consuming trying to fight the headache though #but hey at least i'm not falling asleep for once #that's something