#probably specifically when Jarlaxle was clearly listening or even just standing right there

[auberginesdonthavelimbs]

Sellswords headcanon/thing that is amusing to me to imagine.

When Artemis and Jarlaxle were adventuring together, if someone asked Artemis about his "friend," he would immediately respond, "He's not my friend."

Jarlaxle overheard this of course and started playing along, also denying that they were friends when asked. Unlike Artemis, though, he always elaborated.

e.g.:

We met five minutes ago

I'm just following him because he owes me money

Who - Oh Hells, I thought I lost him

I've never seen that man before in my life

He's my husband

He's my twin brother

That's an automaton I built

We're members of rival factions tasked with spying on each other

"It's just that it's mostly my fault he got cursed so I feel obligated to help him find a way to break it." "In what way is he cursed?" "That's very polite of you to pretend not to notice."

He's a shape shifted red dragon and he's planning to eat me. Please help.

You can see him too??

#legend of drizzt #the legend of drizzt #jarlaxle #jarlaxle baenre #artemis entreri #what i am on the fence about is whether artemis also started playing along #on the one hand he was not much for talking to people #on the other hand he was much for being mean to Jarlaxle #so maybe not really jokes but just telling some part or version of the truth. like. #he's not my friend he's the asshole who enslaved me. #he's not my friend i'm just cursed to travel with him until i can figure out how to kill him #probably specifically when Jarlaxle was clearly listening or even just standing right there #like Jarlaxle makes a point of introducing him as “my friend Artemis” to set him up #so he can immediately say “we are not friends. words cannot express how much i hate this drow." #and Jarlaxle is smiling like *ain't he a scamp* while Artemis does not look remotely like he's joking