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[queerstorypodcast]

Transcript of Episode 1

Episode 1: Queering the Word

Welcome to QueerStory Podcast, where we will explore LGBTQ history and the reclamation generation of Queers. I am oso, and I have trimmed a lot of weed while listening to a lot of podcasts to get to this point.

 As we know history is written by the hetero-cis society, white dominated society, the Eurocentric, the state, the police, the priests. That melange of half-truths, lies, and manipulations is not what you will find here.

 Queerstory is the history they try to erase, the history they keep off the census, the history they alter and colonize. We are the living queer stories who will not be erased. Welcome to this podcast!

 Today I want to explore the reclamation of the word Queer and the movements towards and away from it. The history of the words we reclaim.

 Let’s talk about these words. If some of them are triggering for folks: here’s your trigger warning!

 Take care of yourself, we care about you. If you are an elder who lived through this: THANK YOU. Thank you for paving the way, for moving the movements, for taking the hits and continuing on. If you want to interview or share your personal stories please email: ____ I would love to honor your experiences.

 According to the online etymology dictionary the word Queer can be found as far back as 1500. An adjective from Scottish, and perhaps originally low German, to describe something as “strange, peculiar, eccentric, oblique”. There are origins that link it’s decription from “Old High German” the word twerh meaning “oblique; from the root terkw, meaning “to turn, twist, or wind”. This origin connects the modern english word “queer” with the origin of the modern word “thwart”. Excellent.

 queer (adj.)

c. 1500, "strange, peculiar, eccentric," from Scottish, perhaps from Low German (Brunswick dialect) queer "oblique, off-center," related to German quer "oblique, perverse, odd," from Old High German twerh "oblique," from PIE root *terkw- "to turn, twist, wind" (see thwart (adv.)).

Sense of "homosexual" first recorded 1922; the noun in this sense is 1935, from the adjective. Related: Queerly. Queer studies as an academic discipline attested from 1994.

queer (v.)

"to spoil, ruin," 1812, from queer (adj.). Related: Queered; queering. Earlier it meant "to puzzle, ridicule, cheat" (1790). To queer the pitch (1846) is in reference to the patter of an itinerant tradesman or showman (see pitch (n.1)).

These wanderers, and those who are still seen occasionally in the back streets of the metropolis, are said to 'go a-pitching ;' the spot they select for their performance is their 'pitch,' and any interruption of their feats, such as an accident, or the interference of a policeman, is said to 'queer the pitch,'--in other words, to spoil it. [Thomas Frost, "Circus Life and Circus Celebrities," London, 1875]

In 1812, we find queer being used as a verb, meaning “to puzzle, ridicule, cheat”. This was found within the markets of wandering tradesman who would “queer their sales pitches” to deter policemen or other issues from knowing they were trading on the streets.

Exciting to know that “queering” has roots in confounding the police!!

This innocuous word, that simply meant “strange”, eventually became a slur against homosexuals, all thanks to one over-bearing father.

So, you may have heard of Oscar Wilde, the famous Irish poet, playwright, dandy, and all-around sassy bitch. His influence was further reaching than the gay 1890’s stage and prose sets. The meat of this queerstory is within the gossip. As many listeners may already know, Oscar Wilde had a young lover, Lord Alfred Douglas, or “Bosie” as he was known to friends and family- and dear dandy daddy Oscar.

Their relationship existed within a time when being homosexual was a crime punishable by imprisonment and “hard labour”. Yet, Oscar was a flamboyant creative, able to use his eccentricities to divert attention away from the root cause bing his beautiful gayness, but to his creative spirit. Bosie, on the other hand, was reportedly reckless in his slutty endeavors and flamboyant escapades. Their relationship was tempestuous, Bosie was spoiled by Daddy Oscar, and they even visited gay brothels together, at the request of you Bosie. The villain in this queerstory is Bosie’s father The Marquess of Queensberry (what a name right? I mean… come on) famous for refining the rules of boxing and being the one to fuck Oscar WIlde’s life up forever.

When Papa Douglas found out about his son and Oscar, he confronted the pair a number of times. The most notable being In June 1894, he called on Wilde at 16 Tite Street, without an appointment, and made clear his feelings for the dandy: "I do not say that you are it, but you look it, and pose at it, which is just as bad. And if I catch you and my son again in any public restaurant I will thrash you" to which Wilde responded: "I don't know what the Queensberry rules are, but the Oscar Wilde rule is to shoot on sight" This dude went so far as to publicly post a note about how Oscar was a “sodomite” to which Oscar sued him for libel…. Welll… here’s the thing: you might not want to sue someone for libel when your are very much sodomizing and being super gay with their son. As queerstory shows: this did not turn out well for dear Oscar, Bosie’s father was so unhinged by the thought of a gay sex scandal on the family name as well as wanting to avoid a conviction of libel, he went after Oscar. After a long very public and press-covered trial, Oscar was found guilty of sodomy and gross indecency and sentenced to hard labor and imprisonment.

I say all of this to share that: In 1894 the Marquess of Queensberry was the first person to use the term “QUEER” derogatorily on paper. He referred to Oscar and gay men in general as “queer snobs” in a letter. This of course was devoured by the press and immediately exported to American newspapers and used derogotorally. The American press used it to highlight that homosexuality is “abnormal”. It was specifically used against effeminate gay men.

To Describe the homosexual it was first recorded in 1922, queering it from an adjective to a noun by 1935.

Though gay people of all delineations were forced into closets by the Western puritanical residue of European conquest, there were many words used by gay people themselves to understand their own identities. Radclyffe Hall, the famous lesbian author (The Well of Loneliness) actively identified as an invert, which was an early demonstration of reclamation.

When we use the word Queer now, we are reclaiming it. This began in The U.S. in the 1980s by LGBT folks who likely were sick of words having power over them and who were reeling from the AIDS Plague. During protests at this time people would chant “We’re Here, We’re queer, We won’t live in fear!” In 1990 Queer Nation was formed. A flier was passed around at New York Gay Pride called “Queers Read This” saying:

“Ah, do we really have to use that word? It's trouble. Every gay person has his or her own take on it. For some it means strange and eccentric and kind of mysterious [...] And for others "queer" conjures up those awful memories of adolescent suffering [...] Well, yes, "gay" is great. It has its place. But when a lot of lesbians and gay men wake up in the morning we feel angry and disgusted, not gay. So we've chosen to call ourselves queer. Using "queer" is a way of reminding us how we are perceived by the rest of the world.”

 Around the same time queer film maker Bruce La Bruce was developing New Queer Cinema. The queercore movement, a very gay outcry to punk, was born in the 1980s and exploded in the 90’s with notable bands:___This can be seen as the avant-garde and unapologetic gay answer to the punk movement, queercore expressed the very same discontent with society as the punks were stating.

The word queer was adopted as a personal identifier particularly by queer people of color and eventually began to take on a more politicised meaning. It became a movement. The queer movement rejected causes viewed as assimilationist: marriage and adoption.

Being Queer was a rejection of what we were supposed to be banned from in the first place. Now here’s some music by Lorena and the Bobbitts

Song: We’re Queer - Lorena and the Bobbits

Bump: You’re listening to Queerstory

 Part 2: 

 We are the stories that make up the histories hidden from us, so here’s my relationship to the word queer:

When I was 7 years old I learned a new word. During that time in my life I was learning a lot of new words, the Christian school I attended was pumping many new and appropriate words into our supple young minds weekly. However, this particular word jumped into my body with real movement and instant familiarity.

As a kid I highly identified with being “weird”. Modeling myself after Gonzo from The Muppets.  I am adopted and his story of mysterious beginnings, while looking different from everyone he knows, mirrored mine. Despite being haunted by the space it put between my family and myself, I enjoyed the weird world that swirled inside me. Shit, I enjoyed the space it put between myself and the boring world of Christianity. It made me feel special, though I didn’t know why I should be special. Sure, some moms tell us we’re “special” or “bright” or whatever else to help with our budding self-esteem. But, something about my weirdness gave me the gift of being set apart from everyone else.

I loved being weird. It meant that the world playing inside my head would only enhance the world I was discovering around me. It meant that my thoughts, being weird, were valid and real. It also meant that my shenanigans had legitimate justification.

“Why is that kid peeling a grape, pouring kool-aid all over it, and pretending their eye has popped out?”

“EWWW, and why are they eating it?”

Mom: “Why do you have to shred the skirt of your uniform? You know you have to share it with your sister.”

Why am I always drawing pictures of Catherine and can’t seem to keep my mind off her symmetrical freckles?

Why am I sure I am a boy when everyone insists I’m a girl?

You’re just weird, kid.

Then I learned a new, wonderful, powerful word. This word tasted good in my mouth. Upon learning it, my young mind had no conception of the connotations it carried. I just plain ol’ liked it.

Queer.

The day I learned it was like any other day at school. I recall being in class, doing one of many boredom-busting-class-acceptable activities: scanning the vocabulary pages in the back of my books for words of interest. Usually words like ‘rectum’ and ‘areola’.  I found studying the “holy” bible was only interesting when seeking the scandalous stories about tits and ass.

The day I found the word Queer I remember feeling joy. I needed a word for my weirdness. This word was perfect. Later,  after-school, I was eager to announce my new joy. Clutching my Dixie cup of goldfish crackers I sang out: “I’M QUEER!” to which the older kids laughed and muttered the long list of derogatory associations to this word and this young gay claiming it. A lovely thing then happened, a girl named Jessica Prescott (you don’t forget a kid like this one) put her arm around me and defiantly stated to the jeering masses “You can be Queer if you want to!”.

I had no idea the act of solidarity this other kid offered me. I just thanked her, smugly stuck my tongue out at the haters, and went about my Queer kid business.

I think about this experience and feel comforting warmth inside. Being Queer when I was a kid had a different shape than being Queer any other time in my life. It was not defined by sexuality, but it lent itself to confusing feelings towards my friends at sleepovers and the rage I carried about being disallowed to be a boy. The shape shifted when I was 15 when football players were beating me up by the lockers for “munching carpet”. Later that year, being Queer was a painful shape when my mother outed me by presenting me with the rolled-up-printed-out AOL history revealing my web browsing of gay.com and planetout.com. It morphed again at 19 when I was locked into an abusive lesbian relationship with a woman who hated trans-people and beat me up in my mother’s house for organizing and performing in drag shows. Then at 22 it was an awkward shape as I feared for my safety in Texas, while simultaneously being used by straight women to figure out if they were lesbians.

Being Queer is a shape I can’t hide. It orbits me and is born of me. It is often lonely and isolating. It is glittery, juicy, and clever. It is all I know. It defines my perspective when I open my eyes and take in the world around me. It leads me to the gayborhoods wherever I go, instead of anywhere else.

As a Queer I find joy in the fabulosity I contain, I also carry scars of abuse and abandonment. I don’t think one has to experience traumatic events to be Queer, but I do think that if you have felt the struggle and fear that accompanies it, you value it as a core component to your identity. I never “tried” being Queer. I just am.

Back in the day being called Queer was only derogatory. There was no reclamation of such a term. Some older gay folks still don’t appreciate that we are claiming it, because it hurt them so. To reclaim Queer you must understand that it isn’t flippant. It’s militant. It’s pain being slapped back at the dominant paradigm. It’s claimed with a feeling of reverence and respect for Silvia, Marsha, Divine, and all those who had to be Queer during times of turbulent change to make it so that we can do what we do. We are Queer because we are. We cannot change it, we cannot hide it, and even in the darkest hour we don’t want to hide it because it is beautiful. I ask those who appropriate, to please leave our culture to us. We’re professional ass-eating, cunt-bumping, sounding, dick sucking, fisting, flamboyant, butch, femme, sassy, beautiful people. Admire us, enjoy our art, be our friends.

I was proud to figure out the word Queer was meant for me that day in 2nd grade. I had no idea it was wielded to hurt at times, to isolate, to make fun, to incite violence. I had no idea it meant I’d have delicious desire for others of my gender and of any/all/no gender. I had no idea it meant that it validated my knowledge of being a boy. All I knew is that it meant weird, no one else claimed it, and that it was all mine.

Happy Pride month, be well. 

Tune in Next week for episode 2 : The Godfather of the gays: Magnus Hirschfeld.

Thanks for reading Queer Story! Stay gay, you hotties!

#queerstorypodcast gay queer lgbtq lgbtqia trans transgender deafqueers @transcrip #transcript