#regulus: *unveils his brand new legislation to legalize blood magic*

[birlwrites]

i love the Regulus, Evan, and Barty dynamic you've created. any combo of romantic/platonic works for me. but consider: later on in the tyrant/dark lord universes, 'everyone' knows they're a unit, but no one knows for sure what the dynamics are. cue no good layabout Barty Crouch jr. bringing his two 'sugar daddies' to his family events to piss off his old man. (they are, of course, perfectly lovely to his mother)

god okay i was trying to restrain myself like 'i said i would do the ask answering extravaganza NEXT WEEK' but ajflshgksdjff anon this made me CACKLE

i feel like the very first Crouch Family Gathering Feat. Regulus And Evan is the most fun barty and evan have had in their entire lives

evan is seated near crouch sr at the table which was really just a horrible decision on someone's part but at least evan's enjoying himself

regulus is busy having a surprisingly in-depth conversation with barty's mother (she's grilling him about the construction of black manor and the additions made over the centuries and the consistencies or lack thereof in architectural style and--) and he is really struggling because he keeps getting distracted by evan monologuing to barty's father re: an absolutely HORRENDOUS hat he was forced to witness with his own two eyes at their last garden party, the peacock feathers were mismatched and it was VELVET in JULY and not only that, the shade of turquoise was MOST unbecoming and turquoise is incredibly gauche in the first place and has been for three years which is NOT long enough to render it ready to return to evan's field of vision, it's practically all he's thought about for the past week, but fortunately evan has barty to distract him from his woes<3

barty nods along to what evan's saying with a completely straight face, only interjecting at the very end of this monologue with 'i thought regulus said his cousin said turquoise would make a comeback in the fall. regulus?' while regulus is desperately trying not to laugh at the look on crouch sr's face and is therefore not in any condition to participate in this conversation and then evan grabs this topic change with both hands and declares quite vehemently 'narcissa malfoy is wRONG--'

regulus does get to add to crouch sr's rage later on by very politely informing barty's mother that actually, barty has gotten to know the various features of black manor quite intimately since moving in - he's certainly well versed in the more esoteric parts of the property since he has so much free time to explore

the evening concludes with barty jokingly threatening to get regulus to buy him turquoise robes and evan immediately responding with 'oh, but anything looks good on you, sweetheart, if you want them i'll buy them for you' and crouch sr having an aneurysm

and if any EXTENDED CROUCH FAMILY MEMBERS GET INVOLVED AJFSKHGJKSDJFFKD - i'm envisioning a big family reunion or something at which various people are trying to figure out wtf is up with barty crouch jr and they keep drawing crouch sr into conversations to ask him what's going on there and he's just being tORTURED CONSTANTLY

alternatively: the most over-the-top birthday party ever, at which regulus calmly informs crouch sr that yes, they DID temporarily import a dragon from romania, and yes, the paperwork to get it authorized by the dimc WAS tedious, and yes, it was definitely 100% completely legal, and yes, they went to all that effort just because barty thought it would be cool

#why are they living in black manor? i don't know afjslghskdf that's just what manifested in my head #crouch sr: black is. slightly more tolerable than rosier #regulus: *unveils his brand new legislation to legalize blood magic* #crouch sr: never mind #i feel like this works no matter what the dynamics are #although admittedly i always find 'outrageous flirting to piss off someone else' much funnier #when the participants are *not* romantically involved #should i make an inbox tag #dark lord wip #regulus also thought the dragon would be cool