#rn is a flux period. in more and more ways now we found out tonight the future of the club is Very very uncertain on basically all sides

[exopelagic]

bittersweet sequel to ice hockey is great post <3

#man. I love my hockey friends #next week will be our last sessions running the club. which is so messed up how has it been a year #and we all got pizza tonight and turns out a bunch of them got together to get the three of us flowers and chocolate which was so sweet #I love them all so much I’m so happy I did this #but god idk #rn is a flux period. in more and more ways now we found out tonight the future of the club is Very very uncertain on basically all sides #so it’s not like I’m gonna stop being involved in running it bc one of my best friends is now president so like. I’m being there for him #and I gotta sort a bunch of shit anyway bc it’s gonna be a rough few months #but also in that like. i will FINALLY get told my masters supervisor in the next few days. #and which one I get WILL change the course of my life in a big way like I’m not being dramatic saying that #so it’s been hard to think abt what the future will look like and that’s been on my mind #and also god I just love my friends so much and I am Scared of the future. I probably shouldn’t be. probably. but everything feels weird #me and closest friend here Will be living on opposite sides of the city again next year and she won’t be doing ice hockey as much #so we’ll see each other maybe less unless we make more effort. and we do already we see each other a bunch and we text #god I’m bad at endings. I’m way too sentimental and the flux periods are so good for low level anxiety like this #I’m also worried for her bc her boyfriend graduates this year and is gonna do a masters in Australia. which is insane. #and I think they both know they can’t do long distance like that and he’ll be there for two? years? maybe one? but like. shit. #they just Know this is coming and I am terrified for them both. in the way that tonight I recorded them skate-dancing together bc I knew #they’d both want that memory #I’m just having a hard time thinking abt what my future is gonna look like and that’s kinda hard on me bc so many things are changing #simultaneously. like I have my last lectures ever on Monday bc my course finishes teaching early. like that’s insane #I’ve done almost a whole degree. and I’ve been running this club for a year. and I’m abt to start a whole new thing and I don’t know what #idk. I’ll find out what the future looks like I just gotta take it a day at a time but that’s Hard. which is how it works I think #point is I love my friends and I think I’m going to miss this time a lot #even if a lot of things have sucked very bad this past year. a lot haven’t and this has also changed my life. which is messed up to think #and I do know a good chunk of things!! like two of my friends are sticking around another 2 years here which I didn’t expect and I know #where + who I’m living with. and I know vaguely what the Shape of the next maybe 4ish years are. bc I know I’m taking a year out to work #and then doing a phd. I’m pretty sure that’s what I’m doing and if not I have time to adjust to that too #I know that I’ll be studying smth I rlly like no matter what happens. and I know I’ll be able to see a lot of my friends a lot more #luke.txt