#saying i am once again in my furtana feels is so funny bc like

[thatiwouldbe]

hi ok so a while back on my main i rambled about vb au finntana and didn't really mention kurt but i am once again in my furtana feels so we're going there today under the break

kurt knows, when he first finds out that his dad and carole are in a serious relationship, that finn has a best friend. more than that, actually - santana is basically his sister, and has been for his entire life. and it's daunting. partly because santana has always been kinda bitchy to him, but mainly because there's no way to seamlessly join into this dynamic that has existed for over a decade. it's awkward at first, and kurt assumes they both hate him until he overhears finn talking to carole about how he's trying his best to find ways for all three of them to hang out even though kurt's interests are so different from theirs. then he assumes it's just santana who hates him, up until one of their forced bonding trips when she comes out to him and tells him through shaky breaths that no one else knows - not even finn. even when burt and carole do get married, and kurt has become surprisingly close to finn and santana, he still worries that they might consider him as the least favourite - or least important - sibling.

he does realise eventually, though, that they love him just as much as they love each other. they just show it differently. it takes him a while, and even a little push from carole, to really get it. but then he sees it in every gesture, big and small; the way santana pretends to be annoyed but still agrees to model for him when he's working on new clothing designs, the way they go all out with decorations and attempts at baking cakes for his birthdays even though they're not great bakers, the way santana towels off every single bead of sweat before hugging him after her games so she doesn't get any sweat on his outfits, the way they both try to visit him whenever they can when he moves to nyc. their love surrounds him like a protective little bubble and as excited as he is to get out of ohio, he can't help but get nervous about the fact that they aren't coming with him, and what if everything changes? he almost expects it to, as if they were only tolerating him while he was around. but then they come visit over and over, santana straight up buys plane tickets for him to come visit them because living in new york is expensive as hell and it's not like she's been spending much anyway, and kurt realises that they really are his family for life.

like they both know how reluctant he is to open up to them in the first place, but they show him time and time again that they love him for who he is and that they will never truly leave him no matter how far apart they are physically and idk i think it makes kurt a bit more hopeful and willing to let people in

#is this coherent? #i sure hope so #lots of feelings for them always but especially rn bc they love each other dearly and i love them even more dearly #furtana #vb au thoughts #md rambles #saying i am once again in my furtana feels is so funny bc like #when am i not #it is a constant state for me <3 #but im redrawing my first ever furtana art and like... wow they have come so far in my mind #best trio to me <3