#seven years since I left high school and I don't think I have ever relapsed this bad

[hexagonaldecency]

Screaming at the void a bit

#I think I'm having my worst breakdown since high school #seven years since I left high school and I don't think I have ever relapsed this bad #I'm not even sure what to do now. I needed to travel to deliver some papers to my university #but I dont know if I can #it's half past five am and I cant sleep at all #if I look away from my phone I start crying because I need some distraction #I need to fucking graduate. I keep missing deadlines and important shit. #and now I'm too scared to show up and hand over some papers. #I genuinely don't know how I'm going to face my professor without crying #worst of all I feel so ashamed for relapsing and breaking down like this #if I don't get everything ready by friday I dont even know what is going to happen. I feel like I might just lose my chance at graduating. #and if I lose my chance at graduating that's seven years literally tossed in the thrash #I think I'm going to have to ask my mom to come with me #I dont know how this is going to work but I think it might be the only way. #god. can you imagine a last year university student comes to hand you documents #and she's crying and holding her mother's hand #shit. I'm being too harsh on myself. #I just have to try so hard only for things to fall apart #for two years my life has felt like it was on pause and now that I am almost at the end of this fucking tunnel #I fell like I'm getting pelted by problem after problem and crisis after crisis