#shame and whatnot fjdksl embracing the ''cringe'' of simply existing with a trauma-warped brain

[piplupod]

really hate having to be quiet about disorders that affect every aspect of my life. really wish ppl would be normal about it and also understand it better. wish i was not terrified of ppl finding out about my osdd irl but RIP me i guess, the autism is scary enough but I don't have the energy to hide that one anymore or make up excuses to explain away whatever symptoms i wasnt able to quell. the autism already puts me in enough danger (conservative small town) but i think the osdd would get me in physical danger if ppl found out fnfkfl

its just hard bc we are so desperately lonely but we cant tell ppl abt it and its honestly hard to be friends w ppl now if they dont know abt it. so i do not get to make friends in town now and all chances of having ppl irl to hang out with is down the drain.

#i just want to not have to hide anymore #im so tired of it fjfkfl #i wish we could just act in a way that felt right and dress in fun ways outside of the house and just. exist without fear. #idk whats going on lately fjdksl the new splits have jostled brain around a lot #and i am feeling very alone and isolated the past couple days (...weeks.) i think #trying also to adjust to new brain feelings and shifts but idk. its a lot. im tired #and very very unwell fhfkdl but i just keep ignoring it and pretending things are alright and hoping i can feel okay soon #anyways hi there are daycare attendants in the brain. we have a sun and moon now apparently #this is me being open in a way that frightens me but i want to be able to be a bit more open here to try to work on some shit within myself #shame and whatnot fjdksl embracing the ''cringe'' of simply existing with a trauma-warped brain #sunny has a sideblog btw its very fun! its @sunnysplayground #pippen needs 2nd breakfast