#she like gave me a mullet with shitty bangs

[mean-hare]

my stupid ed diary (mhwnbcb) , part 7 (november)

november, 1 we met with my friend masha and the 7 cats we had to transit to prague. they are going to their new homes. train was cool. in poland they checked our cats for a very fuckin long and we missed our train. so fuckin long.staying in train station at night, with cat cages and things, there was tiles and desperation.

november, 2 we stayed in almost empty hotel (liminal vibes). kitties were out of cages, running in room. we spent free time in a hotel cafe, it was tiring and boring. i ate maybe too much. masha talked on a phone all the time. i felt uncomfy. we waited on a station for so long. we was so cold. train was late for a hour. we didnt get any compensation for tickets on train that didnt wait for us yesterday. masha hates poland and it seems reasonable (i still like poland for kurwa tram and word "popierdolone" but today and yesterday was real shit)

november, 3 we came to prague at early morning. people who met us was one girl (i thought that she doesnt like me but i really may be wrong) who take most of cats and paulo (mashs and now my roommate). i know him for two years. now he have shaggy bleached mullet haircut with few blue tips, it looks like smoke on dryed fields. they felt very close to each other and very distant to me so i was sad. paulo decide to cheer me up and asked "will you be happy if suddenly there will be unicorn fallen from the sky and crashed on earth with all the rainbows, blood, guts (and so on with his vivid gorey imagination). it made me laught. they bought me an energy drink called rockstar. also i ate spicy chips. finally theres always avalible spicy chip, unlike in ukraine.

november, 4 we live on 6th floor (it would be called 7th in ukraine). i have a place on matress near the window. theres two big chubby cats called olivka (white with brown) and jackie (full name joconda, fluffy smokey-blackish-greyish-reddish one). theres also kitty called mia (tricolor) who need new home. she is very scared of everything guys gave me cows skull(without horns for unknown reason). i like it. masha bought milk and yogurts for me. i ate one.

november, 5 i unpacked my things. i have not so many with me. paper, few clothes, toys. guys' kitties like my toy dogs

november, 6 we went to the closest market and bought some sweets. wafers. theres so many diffrent kinds. and my fav soya bars. but i didnt eat much today

november, 7 my friends gave me their old sensor phone. we walked the pragues center and i was sad bc they were so close friends and i felt like a burden, unwanted, like i shouldnt be here. but the center was beautiful as always

november, 8 i runned from this house because of neighbour drills (i cant stand it) and lost in this place of similar buildings. paulo found me and after that i spent few hours in cafe runned by deaf people. it called "quite place" but visitors were very fuckin loud. i drank tea and draw my oc (smoking bleached bolognese dogboy called kitty)

november, 9 guys made me go to a psychiatrist. i said them a thousand times that i dont want it and i hate it and i cannot trust any fuckin psychiatrist and wouldnt say anything no matter how "good" one is for them. i did exactly as i said, i didnt say her anything. and now my friends are sad and angry at me.

november, 10 703 calories for some chips. pepsi mango zero. i walked from 8 till 17 but it was not that bad. i was chill. talked with danny online with a phone. draw. watched the underground trains.

november, 11 guys bought hair dye. paulos hair is half pink half blue now. i dyed my hair too but im stoopid. so my hair is not really dyed. just few blue, pink and lilac bangs.

november, 12 me and masha walked a little. there was a thick fog, unusual here, beautiful weather. paulo slept all day. the rest of my day was stupid (bc i ate too many shitty wafers)

november, 13 my breakfast is energy drink and sigarete smoke(i do not smoke)

november, 14 i walked for so long. saw so many spaces of this part of city. theres so many empty spaces. i am not used to it.

november, 15 fog. everything in fog. so beautiful and moist. i bought cheap starch chips. ate them on street like a dinner while sitting on bench with word "kurva" written on it. and read some feminist articles on my phone. fine.

november, 16 theres one precious market in strange point near an abandoned night club. this market looks just exactly like some of markets in my dreams. dim, full of unknown packs of food and very calmly liminal. and theres a lot of energy drinks. and very pretty asian woman cashier.

november, 17 chill homeday. i wanted chocolate so bad and ate half of advent calendar my friend bought me week ago. it had small amounts of calories but it feels so fuckin wrong.

november, 18 i walk the streets again. or better to say walk thru supermarkets sometimes buying shit there. i was in 4 of them today. in first one i bought pack of the cheapest (but tasty) chips (all the day long i worried about eating too much and hoping that too many time on the cold streets burned big amounts of calories. its may be true, it was really very fuckin cold, colder than before). and i bought precious zero monster energy in purple (loooveee purpl) can. it was so tasty but i as supersmartass took it from a fridge (there was non-fridge option) and almost freeze while drinking it on streets. then some time in another mall. and some more time on the stairs near our flat. bc guys went on some volunteer job and would be back in hour. later we met in deathmetal bar with some guys. they were talking, i was quite and lonely and sad as always. while waiting the train back we hear and saw a guy who listens to a gabber music. i like it. shitty day but filled with good music. fist snow of this autumn here.

november, 19 im laying on floor, listening to fontaines ds and sneezing (im sick). masha and paulo arguing long and hysterical about cat nicknames (most tumblr users would said that its very important but i wouldnt lie, i find it stupid. and i agree with m that paulos nickname is stupid but i disagree her crying because of it) i ate few pieces of gouda cheese. i didnt eat cheese for so long

november, 20

chill.

i love oliva's habit to come and dig under the blanket and purr. shi likes to spend her time wwith me. kute chonky kity

november, 21 bag of chips, sugarless drink - my usual daily food for eating on street day. i have another fav place to eat and read while eating. its a bench under the roof near some centrum or club idk. one of places wheres dry when it rains

november, 22

today is my bday and i had to spend few hours on cold streets bc of awful drill sounds of neighbors. i bought onion chips with a haloween styled pack and cinnamon zero cola and ate and read one book. and then i felt like i will die. my vision was blurred and dark, i felt nausea and dizzines and awful pain and heat in head and limbs became numb. and ringing in ears. i tried to walk and i realized that its so hard. i walked in a market to warm up but almost fade. i walked out and then lied on a bench. i felt like it becomes easier and felt better. but then some old woman came and started to shame me for lying on a bench so i had to find another place.

now im in our flat, guys greeted me and bought some cake or something idk its laying in a fridge. i have a huge fuck-it mood so today i will eat cake or something, fuck it all, im tired and i need a birthday mood

yeah it was a cheesecake!

november, 23 my days are dull again. i need more party. but theyre dull again.

november, 24 sweet taste of milk didnt erase that gross rotten feeling in my dirty mouth.

november, 25 i ate only one pack of diet joghurt. paulos mom visit us (them). paulo said as a joke "i had said yora that this women is a social worker who came for him" (i asked him before whos that woman). it was an awful joke. he knows about my fears and bad expirienses. i cried. he apologized but it still hurts.

november, 26 i had a mental breakdown or something. i felt isvisible and was so tired. i was loud for the first time of living here. and then i became bad in the eyes of guys, and i realised that i shouldnt be here. i should come back to ukraine. i hate ukraine. i hate czech republic. i hate my life. i have nowhere to go.

november, 27 paulo was high and became willing to help with my loneliness so he made me to register on few dating apps. i was restless bc of energy drinks and sugary things so i made my profiles detailed and almost fancy and swiped away many users who looked like "normal humans" ("normal people scare me" is not a tumblr joke but a real issue for me) it was really tiring

november, 28

good ol' walking thru the malls. and some late night breakdown as i remebber but i cant remember why adn how it was.

november, 29 i bought kinder surprise with discount. i have a little plastic penguin now. i named it ping as one penguin character in german kid book about urmel the dinosaurus. i walked the lonely path between school and big road. i saw there few abandoned shopping carts. children walked in groups their way home or market. they seemed so happy under the twilight skies.

november, 30 now theres a black dog of masha's friend. temporary. noisy shaggy black (his name is black. paulo calls him blacker). he makes funny sniffing sound when i eat wafers or chips. its my most common meal now, today its the only meal for day.

#mhwnbcb #disorder eating #male ed

[artificialqueens]

She Plays Bass (Crygi) - Frankenvenus

Gigi Goode knew bassists were good with their hands, but her sister’s punk band’s bassist gave that thought an entire new meaning.

Read on Ao3

.

Expression of sibling love wasn’t really Gigi Goode’s strongest point, but she admired her sister Stevie eminently. Because of their mere one year age gap, they had grown up best friends. They’d bicker on-and-off, as most sisters did, but for the most part, they were two halves of a whole.

That was until high school happened.

Gigi remembered the exact day Stevie emerged from the bathroom with silver hair and a mullet. Her mother had to stifle a scream and her father was dead silent. Gigi thought it was the coolest thing in the world, but Stevie didn’t seem to want to talk to her about it.

“Hey Stevie, do you wanna go to the cinema with me? I got tickets to see that new Tim Burton movie with the big aliens…”

“No way. It looks shitty. I’m going to a party at Nicky’s place. If mom asks where I am, tell her I’m staying over at Jackie’s for the night.”

A door was slammed on her face and it felt like her dignity was crushed with it. Little did she know, that was only the first of many slammed doors. For the next year, she wouldn’t understand what had happened to Stevie, but then she reached high school herself and it all made sense.

Gigi was quite the outcast during middle school. Her dark brown hair was frizzy and her large braces gave her a slight lisp, but when her braces were removed and she bought herself keratin treatment over summer, she went from ugly duckling to swan. The minute she stepped into her new high school with hundreds of unfamiliar faces, she was pulled into the popular group and it stayed that way.

Now it was 1998 and she was in senior year, questioning if her friends - the popular girls - were truly her friends at all. They were insolent and loud, and Gigi was constantly riddled with guilt at her passive manner towards her friends’ behaviour. She was too afraid to defend anyone they picked on, so instead, she’d slip them a discreet compliment in the middle of the hallway - only when she knew no one else was around.

Her sister was at community college right now, though still living at home. She and Gigi didn’t talk often. Their high school experiences had been so different, it was difficult to relate to one another. Stevie mastered the art of giving no fucks, but Gigi still carried herself in an untouchable princess-like way.

One thing they could relate to was their mutual lack of interest in men. Gigi was the only person in her friend group without a boyfriend, and she didn’t see that changing anytime soon, despite the constant harassment from her friends Dahlia and Violet. She couldn’t help it - there was just something about the sweaty jocks that made her want to run in the opposite direction.

Stevie called herself a feminist and was very outspoken against sexism, much to their fathers dismay. The girl had recently formed a punk-rock band called ‘Lady Disciples’ with some girls from campus. Gigi hadn’t met most of them, but the group consisted of five girls; Stevie, Nicky, Crystal, Jaida and Widow.

The newly-formed band would usually practice in Nicky’s basement, however, for some reason, their usual location was out of bounds one day, and Stevie announced that they’d be temporarily moving their rehearsal spot to the Goode’s garage. Somehow, their relocation of rehearsal space prompted Stevie to believe that Gigi was now her personal servant. The older girl had requested that when the band arrived, Gigi was to bring them a bowl of chips and cans of beer. Of course, Gigi said yes, the main reason being that she was afraid to say no, but also, part of her wanted to meet Stevie’s friends that she had heard so little about.

The sudden crashing of drums from the room below indicated to Gigi that the band was now set up, which was when her sister had asked her to come downstairs and waitress. Stevie was the lead guitarist of the band, which is why when Gigi heard a complex drum solo, she knew that the other members had arrived.

For some reason, Gigi caught herself checking her own appearance before going downstairs. Her bangs were sitting just above her painted brows, shiny and perfect. Her wavy chestnut locks were thrown over each shoulder. She looked presentable - prepared to impress.

She skipped down the stairs and grabbed five beers from the freezer, wincing at the icy temperature against her warm skin. It felt slightly refreshing, though. The Missouri summer heatwave was getting to her, despite her wearing just a loose white button-up blouse tucked into brown corduroy trousers.

She placed the cans on the counter before reaching into a cupboard for a bowl and some hot Cheetos. She filled the bowl up so it was practically spilling over, before realising that she’d have to carry all five beers plus the overflowing bowl at one time. Somehow she succeeded, but as soon as she entered the busy garage, she dropped all the cans onto the couch.

“Sorry!” she squealed, before looking up at the five pairs of eyes staring at her.

A girl with short scarlet hair and piercing blue eyes - that was Nicky, a girl with a golden afro and a sparkling smile - Widow, a girl with beautiful black braids wrapped up in a bun who Gigi didn’t recognise, and then the final girl.

The final girl was perched on a stool, tuning what looked to be a bass guitar, but her eyes were fixated on Gigi. Her hair was a beautiful light shade of blue that reached just past her shoulders and her slightly large ears poked through the sides. Her skin was an olive tan, contrasting against her oversized red band tee which had been tucked into a sinfully tight pair of denim bell-bottoms.

Gigi must’ve stared at the girl for a little longer than she should have because the girl began smirking before shifting her focus back to her strings.

“This is my sister, some of you already know her,” Stevie said monotonously, handing a can of beer to each band member. “J, Crys; go ahead and introduce yourselves.”

The tall girl with the braids approached her with a warm smile, “I’m Jaida. Drummer. Genevive, right?”

“Gigi,” the brunette mumbled, shaking Jaida’s hand. The girl was threateningly beautiful, but not nearly as threatening as the blue-haired girl approaching her slowly, her high platform heels echoing across the garage.

That was until she flashed a smile, and everything about her softened. Her teeth were bright, her lips were a glittery red, and her eyes were a hypnotic umber. She took Gigi off guard by pulling her into a hug, nearly knocking all the air out of the frail brunette’s lungs.

“Gigi! I’ve heard so much about you, I’ve been dying to meet you,” she chuckled breathily, blessing Gigi with the softest voice she had ever heard, “My name is Crystal!”

The tanned girl pulled back and shook Gigi’s hand, and Gigi’s gaze remained fixated on her short, black-painted nails for a little too long.

“Uh, can we practice now?” Stevie asked, plugging her guitar into the amp and causing a slight screech noise to fill the room.

Much to Gigi’s surprise (despite everything surprising her because this insanely attractive girl had her breathless), Crystal turned to her sister with a pout.

“Can she watch us practice for a little bit?”

The brunette couldn’t understand why someone as cool as the girl in front of her would want to spend any time around her, but she was absolutely down for watching the band rehearse. Jaida positioned herself behind the large drum kit, Stevie and Widow grabbed their electric guitars, Crystal returned to her stool and strummed her bass, Nicky spoke ‘1, 2, 3’ into her microphone to assure it was working, and Gigi plopped herself onto the tatty garage couch, placing her hands in her lap and waiting for the performance to start.

And when Jaida began to play the intro beat to ‘You Oughtta Know’ by Alanis Morisette - Gigi’s secret favourite song - the brunette knew that the performance would blow her away.

Nicky’s voice was like silk, Widow’s electric guitar was remarkable and Jaida’s ability to maintain the rhythm with so much passion was insane, but Gigi couldn’t keep her eyes off Crystal. The way her lips would part as she riffed under Nicky’s vocals, gently rocking back and forth to the beat of the music made Gigi swoon. Her eyes would darken with concentration as she watched her own fingers move from string to string with such intricate movements.

When the chorus hit, Gigi felt euphoric. She wanted to get up and dance, but she was far too aware of her sister’s piercing gaze. She instead simply tapped her foot to the beat, but her beam was apparent. She hoped no one noticed the way her thighs were tightly pressed against one another as she watched Crystal flex her slender, tan fingers.

Then the second pre-chorus arrived. Everything was going great until Nicky sang the lines, “It was a slap in the face, how quickly I was replaced, and are you thinking of me when you fuck her,” because suddenly Crystal’s eyes were staring down at Gigi with a look that could only be described as lustful.

Boys had looked at Gigi in that way before - when she was dancing around on the football field in her skimpy cheerleader’s uniform - but this was so different. Sometimes Gigi questioned if, perhaps, she was attracted to girls, but that entire prospect was unknown territory to her.

But now she felt as if her entire mind was being read by the blue-haired girl’s hazel orbs, like she was reading her every racing thought. When the song ended, Gigi managed to get out a few compliments before quickly excusing herself to her bedroom.

Her head raced with many thoughts - none of which were any she’d like anyone to hear. She knew she looked at girls in a way that she had been told she shouldn’t, but she had never gone further than checking someone out. One time, in middle school, Stevie had a bunch of her friends round in the basement. Gigi spied on them, just like any curious middle schooler would, and saw two girls - Nicky and another girl she had never seen before - making out on the bean bag. The most prominent thought in her mind was ‘I want to do that,’ and she carried that thought with her to now, at age eighteen.

Now she was so uselessly pretending she didn’t like women. Whatever amount of discretion she had was now futile, considering she practically drooled over her sister’s bassist in front of four other people.

“God. I’m such a joke,” she muttered, staring at the chipped baby pink paint on her ceiling.

Part of her had just accepted that she’d have to live the rest of her life in the closet. She swore she was the only lesbian in Springfield - until she saw Crystal, that was. Crystal looked exactly like the ladies in the Blockbuster DVDs she secretly rented every so often. She had watched a lesbian movie called ‘Bound’ and often found her mind wandering back to the sexual scenarios in the film. She wanted someone to have their way with her whilst she lay back, whining uncontrollably, but she told herself that she’d take those dreams to her grave.

She was on the verge of horny tears when there was a knock at her door. She shot up and told whoever it was to come in, but not without a nervous voice crack. The door pushed open slowly, revealing her mom stood there with her usual warm smile.

“Hey, Genevive. Stevie was wondering if you could drive one of her bandmates home. One of the girls lives a couple of miles out of the city and she can’t drive herself home because she had a couple of beers. I’m really busy with a wedding dress so can you please do it? I’ll give you five dollars for it.”

Gigi thought for a second, before exhaling. A drive out of the city would be nice. She hadn’t been out all day, but the sun was bright and setting a golden hue across her street. She obliged and hopped off her bed, slipping her shoes into some scruffy Vans that were a hand-me-down from her sister - not unlike all her other clothes which she didn’t make herself.

She hopped downstairs, grabbing the car keys from the hallway table. She was about to turn around to go to the driveway when she clashed bodies with someone. It wasn’t hard enough to hurt her in any way, but it did cause her chest to erupt with embarrassment.

“Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry!” Gigi gasped, before nearly dropping the keys on the floor. She saw the cerulean hair, the tan skin, and the red-painted smile.

“Apparently you’re my chauffeur!” Crystal winked, her voice filled with what sounded like excitement. For her age, she had the voice of a mid-pubescent boy, but Gigi couldn’t think of anything cuter.

“I am?” the brunette raised a brow before realising that Crystal was the girl she had been asked to drive home, ”Oh, I am! How far out of Springfield are you?”

“I’m just a little closer to the country - near the zoo.”

Gigi nodded before making her way out the front door, towards the black Subaru in the driveway. Thanks to the colour of the car, she practically burnt herself on the handle. Not wanting Crystal to make the same mistake, she quickly rushed over to the passenger side of the car and opened it for her.

“Wow. What a gentleman,” Crystal chuckled. Her laugh almost sounded like a cry, all breathy and quiet. The brunette wanted it on tape. She stepped into the car, leaving Gigi confused at how in-control she was of her body despite wearing huge platforms.

Gigi returned to her own side, hoping the older girl would see her blush and assume it was a sunburn. She slumped down in the driver’s seat and exhaled before starting up the ignition.

“Your shirt. It’s slipped,” Crystal said abruptly, cutting through the silence. She pointed at Gigi’s baggy button-up, which was falling down her shoulder slightly, displaying her baby blue laced bra.

“Oh. Shit,” the brunette’s face flushed crimson again as she felt the older girl’s eyes burn into her display of skin. She tried to suppress her inappropriate thoughts by beginning to drive. “You can put some music on if you want. There are some CDs under the dashboard.”

Crystal hummed softly and reached down in front of her, pulling out a sleeve of about eight CDs. After scanning over them with a captivating look of indecisiveness, she slipped one into the stereo. ‘The Boy is Mine’ by Brandy began playing quietly through the speakers, and Crystal began singing with the most off-tune, ear-splitting singing voice Gigi had ever heard.

“I see why you’re the bassist, huh?” Gigi joked, surprising herself with how nasty she sounded. “Sorry… I didn’t mean for it to sound like that-”

“Relax, princesa. You’re right.”

That was it. Gigi was nothing more than a puddle. Hearing Crystal speak Spanish almost made Gigi crash the car.

“So. You speak Spanish?”

“Yeah, but not much. It’s just kind of what I picked up from my mom. She’s Mexican. Do you speak Dutch? Stevie said you’re better at it than her.”

“Ja.” Gigi showed-off, earning a few beautiful giggles from the other girl, “I don’t speak much, but I’m learning. I think I wanna live with my family in the Netherlands, cause I heard they’re trying to pass a bill that will legalise gay marria-” Gigi cut herself off, wanting nothing more than to drive herself off a cliff.

She slowed the car down ever so slightly and caught a glimpse of Crystal’s lips in the rear view mirror, noticing the way they began to curl up into a smirk. Perhaps she dreamt it, but she swore she also saw the blue-haired girl swiftly drag her tongue over her lower lip.

“You like girls?” questioned the older girl, her voice an octave deeper than before.

Gigi somehow managed to squeak out a timid ‘mhm.’

Crystal smacked her lips together and shuffled around in her seat before saying, “Me too.”

If the brunette were in her room at that moment, she would’ve screamed into her cushion out of excitement, but instead, she did so internally. Her mind was racing once again.

Heart-shaped pillowy lips.

The gentle mole under her eye.

Faint freckles dusted across her nose.

Gigi had never seen someone quite like Crystal, and she found herself feeling disappointed when the latter was telling her to take a left as they had reached her neighbourhood.

The brunette pulled up onto the lane behind Crystal’s house, as the girl had requested. When the car stopped, the music automatically stopped, and the silence caused thick tension to bleed through the air.

Crystal was looking at her, and Gigi was looking at her own pale hands clasped around the wheel.

“Do you wanna come in?” the older girl asked suddenly.

“Huh?” Gigi responded stupidly fast, raising her gaze to meet the other girl and noticing how close their faces were.

“My guitar is kinda heavy. A second pair of hands might be helpful…”

If Gigi wasn’t so uselessly oblivious, she would’ve known it was just an excuse to spend more time with her. Either way, she would’ve said yes.

The two of them exited the car and made their way to the trunk, where Gigi carefully assisted Crystal whilst the latter lifted her bass and amplifier out. The brunette didn’t plan on locking the car, but quickly decided to do so when she was stepping into Crystal’s backyard - just in case she was in there for longer than anticipated.

The blue-haired girl’s home was filled with art. On every wall, there was a painting or sketch of some kind. She had multi-coloured lamps, disco lights, and fairy lights scattered around the place. The interior was straight out of a movie.

“Wow, it’s so cute in here!” Gigi gawked, her eyes overwhelmed with the number of bright colours surrounding her.

“Thanks! I cleaned it before I left this morning. Usually it’s a complete mess.”

Crystal led her into her bedroom which was just as Gigi had imagined it to be. There were multi-coloured tapestries pinned to each wall and the king-sized bed in the middle of the room had a large rainbow-crochet blanket thrown across it. The room smelt like peaches and weed - an odd mixture that somehow brought a lot of comfort to the brunette.

“That’s a pretty big bed you have there,” Gigi blurted, placing the amplifier down in the corner of the room. “You have a special someone you share it with?”

Crystal placed her guitar on its stand before turning to Gigi, folding her arms casually and shaking her head, “No. I just like a large, comfy bed for all the ladies I take home. I like to give them the best treatment I can, so they’re filled with regret when they run back to their boyfriends.”

Gigi felt faint once more, her breath hitching as Crystal slowly approached her, looking in her eyes like the cat who caught the canary. She watched as Crystal kicked off her shoes, going from 6’2 to 5’10 - something that would be comical to Gigi if she wasn’t soaking her underwear through.

“I saw the way you were looking at me, Geege,” she whispered, her face mere inches apart from the brunette’s, knocking the air out of the younger girl’s lungs simply with the use of a damn nickname. “I want you to tell me you want me.”

The taller girl felt her eyes water with desire. Crystal was so close - her lips could be on Gigi’s with a single movement.

“Please,” she managed to get out. “I’ve wanted you since I first saw you. Please.”

“Tell me how you want me,” Crystal purred.

“I want your…” Gigi blinked back tears, “I want your fingers…”

The older girl hummed, lifting her hand up to Gigi’s lips and tapping on them gently with two fingers, “Can you suck on them for me?”

Gigi nodded, parting her lips and allowing Crystal’s digits in, sucking on them gently and seductively, her eyes not leaving the older girl’s.

“So pretty, baby. Such a good girl.”

After a few seconds, Crystal withdrew her fingers before cupping the side of Gigi’s face.

“Is this okay?” she asked, her voice returning to it’s higher pitch. Gigi’s heart almost couldn’t handle it - Crystal actually wanted to take care of her. It was clear that the older girl didn’t see her as an easy fuck.

“It’s perfect,” she replied, finding herself being guided towards Crystal’s bed. She leaned back, hitting the blankets with a soft thud. Soon enough, Crystal was swinging a leg over her lips, straddling her in a swift motion.

And then she was leaning down, and their lips met. The tips of Gigi’s fingers brushed against Crystal’s jaw tenderly as they found a rhythm with one another. Gigi’s eyes fluttered closed and, at that moment, there was nothing else in the world except Crystal. The older girl’s plump lips pressed and pulled at her own, eliciting moans from the back of her throat. Gigi slipped a hand onto the nape of the tanned girl’s neck, pulling her in closer. Any notion of gentleness was gone.

Crystal pulled back, looking down at the brunette from her spot on her torso. Her hair was messy and her mouth was covered in red lipstick prints from Crystal’s own lips, but she looked absolutely ethereal.

“Is it okay if I take off your shirt?” Crystal asked sweetly, and Gigi nodded frantically.

After many quick pecks of the lips as they manoeuvred the way out of both their clothes, they were both completely naked, Gigi’s back against Crystal’s headboard with the latter sat in front of her on her knees.

“You have the most gorgeous body…” the older girl praised, tracing her fingers from down Gigi’s sternum down to her hips, watching the girl beneath her writhe with desperation.

Before Gigi could respond, Crystal’s plump lips latched on to one of her nipples, drawing her tongue over it slowly, triggering an orchestra of whines to fall from the former’s lips.

“Fuck, Crystal. I need you.”

“Where do you need me, baby girl?”

“Please,” Gigi cried out, “I want you to fuck me…”

Crystal smiled and began to trail her lips down Gigi’s body, softly and gently. No teeth were involved and she was barely rough enough to leave any marks. She held Gigi like a porcelain doll. Fragile. Delicate.

As Crystal was caressing her thighs, Gigi sat up slightly.

“Crystal I-” she began, but found herself trailing off.

“What’s wrong, hermosa?” Crystal pouted, pressing a quick kiss to Gigi’s forehead.

“I’ve never- I’m a virgin. I’ve never done this before… with anyone,” she stumbled, but was quick to react when Crystal began to pull her hands away slowly, “But I want you… so bad… like, I’ve never been more sure of anything. You’re so hot.”

The older girl blushed and she pressed her lips back onto Gigi’s torso, “Mi cielito. So cute. Let me make this extra good for you.”

Crystal’s lips kissed every bit of skin surrounding the place Gigi wanted her most. She was a tease, and her eyes were dark. The brunette couldn’t form words anymore - just pleasurable sounds.

Then Crystal’s tongue was on her clit and she almost screamed.

In her dreams, she had imagined a moment like this, but she thought she would die with that fantasy. Never would she have believed that she would get to experience it, and never did she think it would feel this good.

Crystal ate pussy like it was her job, lapping her tongue and coaxing more whines out of the girl beneath her. Gigi was leaking so profoundly, and combined with how Crystal herself was salivating, she knew the sheets would need to be thoroughly cleaned afterwards. The brunette’s back was arched and she clenched her thighs whilst Crystal swirled her tongue over her opening and began to edge the tip in.

“Fuck… Crystal…” Gigi’s hand was now in Crystal’s hair, tugging on the blue locks like they were her lifeline. She thanked the heavens that the older woman lived alone and not in an apartment, because Gigi was loud - something which she had just learned about herself that day.

Suddenly, Crystal pulled back, and Gigi moaned at the loss of contact. She needed it. She was beginning to get closer to her climax - she could feel it in the bottom of her stomach.

“Why did you- fuck,” she couldn’t finish her sentence because Crystal had pushed a finger inside of her and began to thrust at a steady pace.

“You like that, huh?” Crystal grunted, leaning over Gigi and admiring the younger girl’s large brown eyes, plump lips, high cheekbones and perfect nose, “Look at you. So beautiful. Eres la chica más bonita con la que me he acostado. Eres perfecta.”

Something about Crystal’s foreign tongue drew Gigi even closer to orgasm. She begged for Crystal to go faster, and she did exactly that. Her fingers pounded into her, shaking her whole slender frame with the intensity of Crystal’s digits. Gigi feels like butter in the older girl’s hands.

“Crystal I- I’m gonna- I’m about to-” she choked out.

“Cum for me, mi niña.”

The brunette’s jaw went slack and her lips parted, a whine leaving her as Crystal pressed their lips together again. Crystal’s fingers flexed inside her, and she moaned, swearing she was able to see stars behind her eyelids as pleasure surged all over her body - like blissful electrocution. Her hips buckled below the tanned girl, and Crystal fucked her through her orgasm until she couldn’t take anymore.

“Holy fuck,” Gigi whispered, her eyes still shut as she collapsed down on Crystal’s bed.

Crystal swung her leg off her torso and lay down beside her, “Was that a satisfactory first time?”

“Mhm. Better than I ever could’ve imagined.”

The older girl hummed a response, and they both lay there, completely naked.

“I feel like an absolute state,” Gigi blushed, turning her head to look at Crystal with a soft smile.

“You wanna eat me out in the shower?” Crystal asked nonchalantly.

“Yes.”

.

TRANSLATIONS

princesa - princess hermosa - beautiful mi cielito - my sky eres la chica más bonita con la que me he acostado. eres perfecta. - you are the prettiest girl i’ve ever laid with (fucked.) you’re perfect. mi niña - my girl

#rpdr fanfiction #crygi #crystal methyd #gigi goode #smut #frankenvenus #concrit welcome

[wigwurq]

WIG REVIEW: BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY

Yes, I saw the #1 movie in America the weekend it opened. YAYYYS I saw it for free using Moviepass (!) YES IT IS THE WORST BIOPIC I HAVE EVER SEEN. Yes, really. And I have seen Hysteria: The Def Leppard Story starring Anthony Michael Hall! This is worse! But what about the wigs? Buckle up - I HAVE A LOT TO DISCUSS.

Straight up: I love Queen and Freddie Mercury. And when this movie was announced, I feared that their/his story would be sullied AND I WAS RIGHT. As was Sacha Baron Cohen (THE ONLY PERSON WHO COULD HAVE PLAYED FREDDIE MERCURY) for walking away from this doomed project years ago. We were left with Rami Malek as Mercury instead. I do not watch I, Robot and as far as I can tell, Malek is a malnourished baby bird who is trying his hardest under bad script and directional circumstances. 

We first see him in this lewk which I can only describe as offbrand Laurie Metcalf. This is not the worst wig but gurl it ain’t good.

Before you can say “what year did Laurie Metcalf get that perm on Roseanne?” Mercury suddenly goes from bullied college student/airport baggage attendant to lead singer of of Queen aka “HIS FAMILY!!!!!!” because why waste time on character or story development?! BRING ON THE SILVER CATSUIT AND HOPE EVERYONE JUST LIKES HIS LIPSYNCING! To be fair, Malek can lip sync for his LIFE - even with those prosthetic chompers - and enduring a new wig with bangs that screams “80s mallrat turned single mother”

Also right before officially joining Queen, Mercury meets this bish named Mary who he likes because from what I can tell, she has a nice fur coat and can get him a discount at BIBA. Hey, sounds like true love to me! This movie tells you (for 2+) hours that Mary was Mercury’s AIN’ TRUE LOVE despite him being bi and also giving no examples as to why they like each other except for love of fashion and cats (though this is how I determined most of my gay friendships in college but I didn’t make an overlong movie about it). 

I will give this movie credit for showing Mercury to be the crazy cat lady that he was but honestly, I could have used more kitty content. This movie could have used at LEAST half an hour more on these cats. Seriously.

Instead, we got to see these bedraggled wigs screaming into microphones as they tried to finesse the finer points of the song Bohemian Rhapsody. All of these wigs are basically Halloween versions of Spinal Tap wigs as are the characterizations. 

UGH AND THEN MIKE MYERS TURNED UP. Look, I love So I Married An Axe Murderer as much as the next guy but OYYY. Myers plays an EMI executive who refuses to release Bohemian Rhapsody as a single because it’s too long and operatic and says something like, “no one will ever sing along to the radio to this in their car” because THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT HE DOES IN WAYNE’S WORLD, GET IT?!?!?!?!?! If that Easter Egg doesn’t make your eyes roll out into the Black Sea, his “Da Bears SNL Sketch” look certainly will. 

Of course, Bohemian Rhapsody goes on to be a huge hit and the movie trolls you by putting a bunch of negative reviews of the song on the screen to prove JUST HOW WRONG EVERYONE WAS and just as you’re getting to the singalong part of the song, the movie inexplicably moves into tour montage territory because ????? There are zero consistencies stylistically or otherwise in this movie and it is definitely NOT for anyone who actually likes Queen’s music as their songs are interspersed like a frenetic wedding DJ and their best album, Sheer Heart Attack, doesn’t even get a mention.

The movie is far more content making you wonder whether Mercury will marry Mary despite his bisexuality (spoiler alert: HE DOESN’T) and telling you about ever 5 minutes that QUEEN IS A FAMILY SO STOP TRYING TO BREAK US UP, IRISH CHAUFFEUR FROM DOWNTON ABBEY! 

The wigs get progressively scraggly throughout the late 70s until Mercury decides to cut off all his hair and get a stache which signals the end for the band for some reason (?) and leads to another Easter Egg in which the dude who plays Brian May (who really does look a lot like him) says that he’ll never get a haircut. GET IT, BECAUSE HE NEVER DID. 

Throughout the film, May (who may have been the reason Sacha Baron Cohen rightly walked from this mess) is shown as an angelic guitar god who gave the world (and mainly Queen’s fans) WE WILL ROCK YOU AND THEREFORE CANNOT DO ANY WRONG. Mercury, on the other hand, is led to hell and back via a leather bar and a shitty solo career in Munich by Littlefinger from Game of Thrones and that Downton chauffeur with a mustache. Nothing gets too scandalous or seedy because this movie is rated PG-13 for some reason so you will definitely see Mercury get diagnosed with AIDS but you won’t see how. I choose to blame parttime director and fulltime asshole Bryan Singer for most of the movie’s flaws. OF WHICH THERE ARE MANY. May he be electrocuted in a hot tub for his many crimes, of which this is #1. 

And then we come to the uncanny valley of an ending! This movie chooses to believe that the apex of Queen was their Live Aid performance which is recreated through ALL OF THE COMPUTERS. But first, Mercury goes and finds this random cater waiter who he met once and brings him directly to meet his Indian parents so that his dad can tell him he loves him all on the way to Wembley Stadium the course of about 2 minutes so that they could spend a full 20 minutes showing you THE ENTIRE LIVE AID SET. Because you’d definitely rather watch Malek be Mercury performing to a sea of computers than just, you know, watching the actual performance on YouTube. Meanwhile, some doofus playing Bob Geldof in a sad mullet wig sits in a silent room where no one is making ANY donations for Live Aid until Queen performs. “Based on a true story” has never been truer. IN CONCLUSION I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO MAD AT A MOVIE. Actual footage of Queen performing “Don’t Stop Me Now” plays over the credits and is the only watchable part of the film. 

VERDICT: DOESN’T WURQ

#wigwurq #bohemianrhapsody #bohemianrhapsodymovie #freddiemercury #ramimalek #brianmay #crazycatlady #uncannyvalley #bryansinger