#sighing dreamily imagining a not-so-distant future where they are very powerful and very sad

[erstwhilesparrow]

The beds are no loss anyway. There’s no hiding the nightmares from each other.

There was no avoiding it after the first time. Cleo woke wild and hungry and, yes, frightened, once. In that state, they had gone to Scott. There was, and is, no one else who would rip the heart right out of their chest for Cleo. No. There was, and is, no one else Cleo would ask for such a thing.

Less than a minute, the two of them were able to bear it. Scott wrapped his arms around Cleo, pulled them close and squeezed on the sweeter side of too much. Cleo held him in return, the two of them slumped together like paper dolls.

Then Scott twitched and said shakily, “I’m sorry—” and Cleo winced away and said at the same time, “I can’t—” and when they pulled apart their separate griefs sat between them like freshly tilled soil.

These days, they sit back to back to avoid confusion, and as Scott picks through their scrolls again, that’s how Cleo gets to sleep.

#sparrowsong #clawing biting slamming my fists on the walls #when i say i have been thinking about this *all day*. #i dunno! i already said it! there is a person you would tear the world apart to have back! #the person beside you in the dark here is not that person! #but it matters that they're there! #sighing dreamily imagining a not-so-distant future where they are very powerful and very sad #all of time and death at your command but you will never get back what you lost. #i can't write this!! i can't do this because it's a prompt for the exchange and someone else might write it!! #and it would be a dick move to basically be like “okay recreate this whole fic in my head” #hwaughhhh #if no one picks up this prompt though i am absolutely going to write it.