#so ..... idk. in conclusion maybe i should consider going to the skin doctor again 😔

[ikyw-t]

well I've been trying for the past decade at least and I have yet to succeed BUT the day that my brain fully comprehends that my skin ≠ my enemy. well. I will be well and truly unstoppable. possibly my biggest and also possibly my only insecurity will be eradicated and I will be able to go a single day without thinking about the nuisance of... just having skin 😔🙏

#possibly another reason why until the past year or so i really romanticized the year of 2019. #bc in 2019 i had finished taking steroid medication for acne and i actually had clear skin for the first time since childhood #definitely felt much more confident then #altho in 2019 i was also rly rly anxious all the time but that was truly just bc i was rly over caffeinating for no apparent reason #so ..... idk. in conclusion maybe i should consider going to the skin doctor again 😔 #ugh ... anyway #ik there's ppl with actual problems in the world #it just makes me feel so shitty bc i cant stop picking at my skin but i dont have this problem when my skin is clear #but like the second theres one imperfection. all hell may as well break loose. so you see it is a terrible cycle #mostly this post has been prompted by taking a shower and seeing the recent acne scarring on my back #which was completely avoidable if only i simply didn't have this compulsive need to pick at all and any imperfections. anyway #gonna go have dinner now lol. if u read all of this my apologies lol