#so I don't IMMEDIATELY PANIC like a wild ass animal and become crazy and catastrophically emotional

[silverspleen]

Me: I am an adult, and have made excellent strides in processing my prior Issues.

My brain: BITCH U THOUGHT

#the dragoon diaries #like oooooogh I Really have a problem with people liking me romantically huh #like immediately back into the Bad Time #idk why I'm like this but I am #it's not trauma based? I have no trauma around relationships #I just want to have a platonic life partner or date two people already in a romantic relationship so there's no romantic feelings for me #or some sort of structured kink where it's deep feelings but also professional business #so I don't IMMEDIATELY PANIC like a wild ass animal and become crazy and catastrophically emotional #LEG CAUGHT IN TRAP #mfw u want a relationship but when presented with options your immediate desire is to bury yourself in a hole instead #I can pine all I want and hold hands and kiss my friends but God Forbid someone have a crush on me #I will be reasonable for Two Weeks and then it turns out there's still snakes in my brain #anyway I have to do a therapy about it I guess #(work has a free short term therapy program for these very issues!)