#so at first with this song i was thinking of doing it from lew's pov to dick but

[whollyjoly]

in those heavy days in june, when love became an act of defiance

song - june by florence + the machine

special thanks to @xxluckystrike for getting me back into f+tm and to @panzershrike-pretz @ronald-speirs for giving me feedback/hearing my rambling brain thoughts as i made this!

#this song actually kills me for them #bonus lyrics include: “hold on to each other” and “im always down to hide with you” #fucking kills me #i love them your honor #winnix #otp: we'll go to chicago i'll take you there #(bonus chicago reference in the song lyrics!!) #dick winters #lewis nixon #so at first with this song i was thinking of doing it from lew's pov to dick but #that last image with the “i can see an angel” of dick looking up at nix came to me in a dream #and i knew i had to do it the other way #there's also something so precious and pure about the love and care and devotion dick has for nix okay #anyways it felt right and sparked joy #band of brothers #bofb #hbowar #em's edits

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: Sin In The City {3}****

OFC Nalani x Lewis Tan x OFC Lynix Mini Series

Warning: Cursing, NSFW AT ALL, SMUUUUT, FILTH, Threesome, Girl on Girl Action, PLENTY OF WORDS, Grocery Eating 😉, First Person POV

Words: 12.9k 🤣🤣

Summary: Nalani and Lynix have been friends since they first grew hips and tits. They do everything together. When Lewis tells Nalani that he’s in Vegas for the weekend and invites her to come out, she jumps at the chance, especially when Lewis says the more, the merrier to bringing Nix along. The long weekend goes from a fun time to putting the “sin” in Sin City thanks to a secret plot Nalani concocts.

Note: As you know @munteanhorewrites and I are HUUUUGE Lewis Tan fans. The man is just absolute deliciousness and the whole entire package. So, Ru and I got to talking about him currently being in Vegas for the long weekend, and we thought, why not treat you guys while indulging ourselves. This is going to be a four-shot miniseries where Ru and I will each write two chapters for the four-day weekend of sheer debauchery. Thank you @munteanhorewrites for suggesting we combine our evil powers. Mwhahahaha! 😈😈

We hope you enjoy this. As always, thank you guys so much for reading. ❤️❤️

If you enjoyed this, please, LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG.

Note 2: Bold Italics are an internal thought. Plain Italics are a memory. Plain Bold text messages. Please excuse the slip ups with “I” and “your”. I would have checked it but I was exhausted! 😭

Chapter Legend:

-Chapter One: @royallyprincesslilly

-Chapter Two: @munteanhorewrites

-Chapter Three: @royallyprincesslilly

-Chapter Four: @munteanhorewrites

***NOT Edited/Proofread***

***Interactive***

~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter Three: Thirst Comes at You Fast

 -Nix-

Groaning, I rolled onto my back for the umpteenth time. The brightness of the sun was blinding, and it was even worse because you had barely slept a wink. Thanks to what I’d seen last night, I tossed and turned and had the most salacious dreams I’d had in a long time. If I were honest, those dreams were downright filthy even by your standards. Now I wasn’t some innocent little thing. Not in the least, but over the last night, I’d dreamt of so many things.  

 It began with sitting on the couch right in front of those large windows and watching the show Lani and Lewis were putting on. I imagined sitting there with one of those expensive bottles of champagne just sipping as Lani took every inch of him down her throat. From the looks of him, she was taking quite a few inches and then some. The way he stared at me was unlike the way anyone had looked at me.

 I could tell that Lani was doing an excellent job from how his lips curled up at the side and how every so often his he grunted, making it echo over the waters of the pool. It was the sexiest sound I’d heard in a long time, and it should have been shameful how quickly it made me wet, but I felt no shame. All I felt the entire night was the slickness between my thighs that never seemed to go away, the heat in the bed though the air conditioner was on all night, and the sheets were silk and always remained cool. Whenever I found a comfortable spot, I had to roll seconds later because of the intense desire that coursed through me. It was frustrating, to say the least.

 There were three things that made me cranky and bitchy. One, when I was over hungry. Two, when I was exhausted. Three, when I was horny with no way to relieve myself. This morning I’d found myself struggling with numbers two and three, and one was steadily creeping up on me. As I showered, I still couldn’t get what I’d witnessed last night out of my mind. This time I zeroed in on the way Lewis had gripped Lani’s head and fucked her throat. The sounds coming from her made it seem like he was hitting places in her throat she’d never known.

 Without even realizing it, my hand crept down my belly to the apex of my thighs. Quickly, I pulled my hand away and hit the tiled wall.

 “Fuck! This cannot be happening.”

 My head ran to Lani’s words from the other day.

 “How would you feel about a threesome with me and Lewis.”

 She was serious. I knew it from the look in her eyes. When Lani was serious about something, she had this determined look.

 “You don’t need to be alone. It can be a one off thing. I’ll take care of you; Lewis will take care of you. It’ll be fun.”

 The thought of that had me pausing as the soap washed from my body. If I was honest with myself, that didn’t sound half bad. There were benefits of threesomes; I thought to myself as I tried to formulate a list of pros and cons.

 “Pro, complete pleasure on all fronts.”

 Just thinking of the possibilities for pleasure had goosebumps peppering my skin. As soon as I began thinking about that pleasure, I thought of a con.

 “Con, pity fuck.”

 That was all it took for me to eighty-six the idea and finish up with my shower. Once out, I tackled the daunting task of my hair. That alone usually took me almost an hour, depending on the style I chose. Today I wanted something sleeker, which meant busting out my flat iron. Deciding on a chill look for the day, I opted for as little makeup as possible before making it to my luggage to choose my outfit for the day.

Once I made it downstairs, I could smell the food and coffee and knew that Lani and Lewis had probably already started without me. It was fine. I needed that extra time to myself to steel myself to be in the same room as him, especially after last night. When I descended the steps and turned into the dining area, Lani was the first to see me. Her face brightened like the sun after a sun shower as she got up and made her way to me.

 When she threw her arms around me, I returned the embrace. From behind her, Lewis sat at the table still. His eyes met mine, and again, the look in them was enough to light a match on sight. He was the one to look away first, though.

 “You decided to take your sweet time this morning,” Lani teased.

 “Yeah, I just needed some me time.”

 Lani peeped into my eyes while crinkling her brow, nonverbally asking if I was okay. Giving her a soft smile, I rubbed her back.

 “I’m good best friend.”

 The two of you walked back to the table. Lani walked around it to sit beside Lewis again.

 “Good morning Nix.”

 The way he said my name made butterflies flit in my belly. Swallowing the small lump that had formed in your throat, I spoke. “Good morning.”

 Once I was sitting, I reached for the orange juice pitcher. If I were lucky, it would be mimosas. Pouring it into the glass, I took a small sip and sighed. Bingo, I thought.

 “How’d you sleep?”

 Glancing at him, I nodded. “Great. I mean, not great, but fine.”

 “What happened?”

 Lani was pouting now.

 “Nothing really, just tossed for a bit. It was so damn hot,” I informed as I piled my plate with an assortment of the food on the table.

 “I wasn’t hot last night. It was cold. I had to snuggle close to Lew,” Lani expressed.

 “Yeah. We were fine. Maybe it’s one of those things you just have to—ride,” Lewis suggested.

 I could feel his eyes on me, and ninety-five percent of me said don’t look up, don’t chance it to find out. The other five percent said just take a peek; that one peek won’t hurt.  It was that five percent I listened to. When I looked at him, he’d just popped a strawberry into his mouth. My eyes instantly dropped to his lips, and I watched him chew the fruit. He did it impossibly slow. When he snaked his tongue out to lick his lips, I could have come just like that. When I looked back to Lewis’s face, his eyes were on me.

 The way he looked at me had a fire creeping up my spine so slowly that its burn felt like a blaze that fanned out throughout your body. He knew he had sex appeal, and from his look alone, he knew how to use it as a weapon.

 “So--,” Lani stretched out bring my attention to her.

 “Maybe we should talk about the elephant in the room.”

 Crinkling my brow, I put a piece of the strawberry pancakes that were in front of me into my mouth.

 “Last night. Me and Lew. You saw,” Lani enlightened.

 My eyes dropped back to my plate as I pretended to intently focus on swirling the strawberries around in the strawberry syrup and powdered sugar mixture.

 “It’s okay, Nix; you don’t have to be embarrassed about it. We didn’t think,” Lani explained.

 “It’s fine. It’s his penthouse and your—you can do whatever.”

 “Funny choice of words,” Lewis murmured before he tilted his head back and dropped a few blueberries into his mouth.

 Glancing at him, I saw Lani rest her hand atop his chest as she smiled then whispered something in his ear. Lewis smiled and kissed her. Watching the carnal kiss between them, I couldn’t look away. As I was going to, Lewis’s eyes met yours again. It was probably one of the most sinful things you’d seen. As he was passionately kissing Lani, he was giving me eyes that said come join in.

 I have to be imagining that.

 Lowering my eyes, I focused on the food and tried to ignore the moans across the table. I usually wasn’t a prude, I was pretty free with my body and inhibitions, but I felt as if I were crowding them for some reason. Like I shouldn’t be there.

 “So--,” Lani began again a sing-song in her voice.

 She was in such a good mood. Why wouldn’t she be? The effort I’d seen her put into getting all that thing in her mouth said he gave her several inches of reasons to be happy.

 “It’s cool, Lani, I understand. What’s the plan for the day?”

 Lewis and Lani looked at each other and smirked before Lani sly shrugged.

 “I thought we could hop on some ATVs and ride through the desert,” Lewis piped up.

 Lani’s eyes widened at the same time mine did.

 “That sounds so fun but dirty,” Lani said.

 “Getting dirty is all the fun,” Lewis said at the same time I did. Our eyes met again, and I saw the playfulness in them.

 “See, Nix gets it,” Lewis added, making you smirk.

 “Okay, ATVs in the desert it is,” Lani confirmed at the same time my phone rang.

 Glancing down, I realized it was Cesar. I would have rolled my eyes, but right now, I needed the distraction.

 “I’m gonna--,” I began pointing to my phone.

 “Yeah, you can use the office around the corner if you need some privacy,” Lewis offered.

 I rose from the table with my phone in hand and made my way to the office. Before I turned the corner, I heard Lani shout after me.

 “That better not be Caesar’s clingy ass. I rebuke him!”

 Pinching my lips, I dipped into the room but heard Lewis’s voice before I pulled up the door just a bit.

 “Who’s Caesar?”

 Leaning on the edge of the executive size desk, I looked out the window and answered.

 “Hey, Caesar.”

 “Hey there, angel face.”

 The sound of the pet name he’d always called me had me smiling for a few moments.

 “I went by your apartment earlier. Were you asleep?”

 “No, I’m not in Miami.”

 The silence on the line stretched.

 “Oh yeah? Where you at?”

 I thought about it for a little while. Caesar was a jealous guy. He was also territorial. It always led to an argument of some sort. At times I didn’t mind it, but other times, it was a pain in the ass.

 “Nix,” Caesar breeched.

 “Vegas for the weekend,” I replied.

 “You alone, or is Lani with you?”

 “What’s with all the questions?”

 “I just miss you. I wanted to spend some time together.”

 I walked closer to the floor to ceiling window and gazed out over the view of Vegas. The sin in sin city was resting for now, but I knew it would awaken once again by the time six hit.

 “C, we talked--,” I began before he cut me off.

 “You’re tryna tell me you don’t miss me?”

 I almost laughed out loud. I didn’t miss him per se.

 “C, let’s not do this.”

 “Wow, Nix. Are you fucking kidding me? For the last month and a half, we’ve been working on getting back together.”

 “You’ve been working for that, C,” I thundered before lowering my voice a tad bit lower to continue. “You’ve been the one fueling this. I told you that I wasn’t sure. I told you that it might not be a good idea.”

 “What am I supposed to listen to? Your words or you spending nights at my apartment?”

 He was right. I’d muddied the waters by turning him into my sporadic fuck buddy even though I knew it was a bad idea.

 “Horniness was the root of all evil and bad decisions,” I whispered out, pressing my forehead to the glass.

 “What was that?”

 “Nothing, C. Look, how about we talk when--.”

 “Everything okay in here?”

Glancing back, I saw Lewis filling the doorframe. He wore a pair of dark ripped jeans that hugged his long legs so well and a black short-sleeve Henley that accentuated the size of his biceps and showed off how good of a shape he was in. Unconsciously my teeth sunk into my bottom lip. He looked fucking good.

 “Who the fuck is that? You said it was you and Lani.”

 Cesar’s voice was so loud it had me coming to my senses. I pulled my eyes from Lewis and looked back out the window.

 “Yeah, everything is fine,” I replied to Lewis before responding to Cesar. “C, we’ll talk when I get back.”

 “No, who the fuck is that? Nix, don’t play with me,” Cesar cautioned. I could hear the jealously in his voice.

 “We’re ready to go. Thought I’d come to get you,” Lewis informed.

 “Yeah. C, I gotta go.”

 Before Cesar could respond, I ended the call and sighed out.

 “Are you okay?”

 His voice was coming from behind me. When I turned, he was resting on the desk with one leg up and the other planted on the floor.

 “Uh—yeah, fine,” I lied.

 “You don’t look okay. You didn’t sound okay a little while ago. I hear you shouting.”

 Nodding, I shrugged, trying to play off your annoyance. It was your own fault.

 “Boyfriend?”

 “I told you, I don’t have one of those.”

 Lewis nodded and sipped from the glass I just realized he held. From where I stood, it smelled tropical, and you guessed it was some fruit juice.

 “Okay, so not a boyfriend—maybe a friend with benefits?”

 Lewis quickly clenched his jaw. It was so quick I almost missed it. That one action had my interest piquing all the way up. What was that for?

 “I don’t have one of those either. He was a horny mistake,” I admitted before turning my back to him again.

 “Ah, horniness. I see. You settled, and now you can’t get rid of him. Sucks to be you.”

 I felt his breath brush against my ear, and the scent of pineapple and grapefruit hit your nose. I could also feel the warmth from his body. He was close. Holding my breath, I kept my body as still as possible and waited for the moment to pass.

 Lewis now stood beside me, looking out the vast windows you were. Neither of you spoke. You focused on the tease in his voice. He was taunting me. Every so often, the soft clinking of ice against crystal echoed in the room, reminding me that I wasn’t alone. Not that I could ever think that. His scent was too powerful. He smelled earthy like he walked through the thick of Guam's forests, then went to the mountains of Tibet to soak up the scent of freshly fallen snow and fresh air. To top it off, I could pick up faint traces of salt. Not cooking salt but the salt of the ocean. The other subtle hints of rose and some exotic flower only made him that more delectably alluring. It was such a good scent.

 “In life, I’ve learned that lesson. Never settle. No matter what it is, never settle. You deserve the best, and the best will come.”

 I looked at him at the same moment he looked at me. Our eyes lingered, but we didn’t speak. There didn’t feel like there was a need to.

 “Plus, you’re too beautiful for the universe not to bend to your will,” Lewis finished.

 My belly fluttered, and without even realizing it, my body swayed sideways. By the time I realized it, I was leaning so far sideway that I lost my balance. With reflexes like nothing I’d ever seen before, Lewis reached out and caught me, pulling me to his body. That was when my skin decided to shoot fire throughout my body. The beauty in his cognac eyes only served as another distracting factor. Now that I was closer, the scents that were subtle before were now more prominent.

 I wonder if he tastes like the sea.

 The thought was a quick one, but it also quickly ruined you. Feeling my nipples bead underneath my thin shirt, I silently prayed he was none the wiser. A flicker of fire sparked in his eyes that made them appear slightly darker. I watched his tongue slowly snake across his full bottom lip. He was wiser. He’d noticed.

 Before he could speak, I pulled away but did it a little too quickly. Lewis’s hand slid from my back to my hips and steadied me. Once I was steady, he didn’t lower them; instead, I felt him squeeze my shapely hips. I thought of moving but I couldn’t. Seconds later, it was Lewis who stepped back, dousing that magnetic energy between you that had encompassed the room.

 “Em—you might wanna--change for the desert,” Lewis suggested.

 Without a word, I walked out of the room and hurried to my room, the whole time admonishing myself for whatever the hell that was.

 Once the three of us got into the chauffeured car, I’d managed to pull myself together and find my chill and detachment. I kept one ear on the conversation in the car, so I could respond when needed. For the most part, I was lost, creating a new blog post about your weekend while going through comments on your post on IG yesterday. You were going to ignore the hot man in the car as long as you could.

 When the car rolled up to our destination, my jaw dropped. For as far as I could see, there was nothing but sand. It gave me a sense of peacefulness.

 “This is gonna be so lit,” Lewis said as he clapped his hands before he dropped a heavy-handed slap to Lani’s ass, making her squeal and giggle.

 “Lewis,” Lani whined as he led the way chuckling to himself.

 For the next fifteen minutes, we listened to the rules, safety precautions, and expectations. After there was a quick demo on how to operate the ATV, then we all signed waivers. Once the formalities were out of the way, each of us ran to an ATV. The one I chose was a camo printed one that looked so badass. I was so excited, and once I climbed on, I glanced over to Lewis, whose eyes were already on you, but they were not looking at my eyes. They were much lower on your ass. Scoffing, I shook my head then revved my engine.

 “Get into it!”

 With that, I sped off, leaving Lewis and Lani in my wake. It didn’t take long for Lani to pull up beside you. she shouted out into the open air then sputtered, spitting out sand.  I couldn’t help but laugh at her. Hearing a sound on the other side of me, I turned and saw Lewis. He was now in a tank with his shirt tied around his mouth like a mask. Genius, I thought. I could hear his muffled words but couldn’t make them out. Shrugging, I spoke into my helmet mouth guard.

 “Sorry, can’t hear you above the sound of you eating my dust!”

 Picking up the speed, I pulled ahead. When they caught up again, I swerved in another direction and did it again and again. Each time I swerved, someone took over the lead. Neither of us kept lead for long. Each one of us had a strong competitive side.

 A few hours passed with desert riding. Lewis was the one to be the show-off. He did flips, standing tricks, and other dangerous stunts while Lani and I looked on with our mouths wide. His adventurous side called to me, making it impossible to steer clear of your rapidly increasing thirst for him.

 It also didn’t help to watch on as he and Lani kicked up the PDA. Almost every time I glanced around, Lani was either hugging on him from the back of his ATV, or his tongue was down her throat. They were cute, but it only made me think of watching them last night, and that made me think of Lani’s suggestion for a threesome. That suggestion hadn’t left my mind all day. I was still so frustrated that the idea of it was not as gobsmacking as it had been. The more and more Lewis’s eyes found you or parts of my body from across the desert, the further away from shocking you got.

 Because of Lani’s whining over how sandy she was, we took a break letting her clean off a bit. I didn’t mind the dirt. While she cleaned up, it left Lewis and me alone. We played around on the ATVs, just acting like kids. It was a lot of fun. After a while, I suggested we stop to capture some of our surroundings for my blog and social media. Lewis agreed, wanting to get his own shots.

 I took video after video and even recorded a few short ones before taking several selfies. When I looked over to Lewis, I watched as he unbuttoned his jeans to peel them off quickly. There was no way I could look away. I was confused as to what he was doing and, honestly, who would look away. Once free from the jeans, he pulled off his tank leaving the scarf he’d worn from before.

 “How is it possible for him to look like he belongs in the desert too?”

 The wind picked up, and the sand blew around him as he stared out toward where the sun shone. My eyes traveled over every dip and curve of his perfectly lean and toned body. No wonder Lani was in heavy lust. He looked like he not only broke backs but possibly parts of the female anatomy.

 Lewis looked back, and for a few moments, it looked like he was walking in slow motion.

Holy Shit.

 Before I even realized it, he was standing in front of me.

 “You got a little drool,” Lewis teased before he hopped onto the bumper of your ATV.

 “Whatever. You wish.”

 It was a weak rebuttal and nowhere near believable. We sat in silence for a little while, taking in the scenery.

 “It’s beautiful huh.”

 “Yeah. Makes you feel like the only human left on earth,” I added.

 “Well, if I were the only human left on earth, I’d want you with me.”

 Our eyes met again, and my heart raced, making me look away. Again, the silence stretched until you found something to say.

 “I’m really sorry about last night,” I began.

 Lewis snorted, making you look at him again with confusion etched on my face.

 “What’s so funny?”

 Lewis didn’t speak right away; instead, he studied me as if he were looking for something. He sighed then licked his lips.

 “Do you know what I see in your eyes?”

 “What?”

 “You’re not sorry.”

 My jaw dropped, and my eyes bugged. “What!”

 “Yeah. You’re not sorry you saw. You’re sorry you got caught,” Lewis cockily informed.

 “Caught? What am I a child? It’s not like I snuck out there to spy.”

 “No, I know that. I do know, though, that if I hadn’t looked up and seen you, you probably would have continued watching.”

 He got me there. I probably would have. It was a good show.

 “Again, your eyes say it all. Not only are they completely hypnotizing, but they’re also very expressive.”

 Was he hitting on me?

 The look on his face said he might have been, but his eyes were masked. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking.

 “All day, I’ve been trying to figure out if your physical reaction to my touch is an instinctual thing or if it’s more.”

 Wow, I thought. The man was so self-assured. He didn’t come off insecure at all. It was both attractive and slightly annoying. No man should be that confident. I looked away and hopped off the ATV, sinking into the sand. Before I could walk off, I felt his body behind me, barely touching me, and his hand spread across my stomach, keeping me in place.

 Oh, fuck. This is not what I needed right now.

 Lewis didn’t speak. He just remained perfectly still. The longer his hand remained on my stomach, the hotter it seemed to get. I didn’t know how long passed with us standing like that, but I was sure it was long enough for the heat from his hand to sear away the high waist of my biker shorts. It had to have been. It felt like there was no barrier between his hand and your skin.

 On your left, you felt his other hand slowly snake up the length of your arm. Where it went, it left an agonizing burn that slowly at away at you. By the time Lewis’s hand made it to your shoulder, he moved your hair so his head could gently touch the side of your face. Still, the smell of his skin wasn’t masked by the sand all around him. It hadn’t done anything at all. I heard him take a deep inhale before he moaned.

 “I know what you want, Nix. I can see it every time I look into your eyes. Fuck I can feel it. All you have to do is say the words.”

 I could feel his touch on my neck as if he really did touch me, but alas, he never did. He was so close. All he had to do was tip out his tongue. Lewis released a guttural groan.

 “Put us both out of our misery, Sunshine,” Lewis finished before he released you and walked away toward an approaching Lani.

 “Son of a bitch.”

 ~~~~~~~~

It was lunchtime, and I was starving and hornier than I’d been before we left. Only now it wasn't because I’d inadvertently saw Lewis and Lani together, no it was because of Lewis’s words. I had no idea what he meant by he knew what I wanted. How the hell could he know that? I didn’t even fully know what I wanted. Every few hours, it changed.

 When Lewis, Lani, and I got back to the penthouse, we showered and changed, then made it to another beautiful restaurant. Deciding not to pretend I were less hungry than I was, I ordered whatever I wanted. As we all ate, the conversation was never strained. Lani told stories of the countless adventures we’d had, all the while never leaving out not one embarrassing detail. Throughout the stories, Lewis looked genuinely interested. He listened with a tuned ear and sincere interest. I liked watching the different emotions light up his face. It was like reliving the memory but through someone else’s eyes.

Every once in a while, Lewis’s eyes found mine, but again they were masked and almost detached. It was an interesting change from earlier, one that had me doubting what I thought I saw and heard.

 At times when he spoke to me, his choice of words always threw me. When asked if he wanted more of the dim sum, he looked at me and said, “I want it.” When Lani complimented her food, Lewis looked at me, bit his bottom lip, and said, “Bet it tastes good.” I squirmed, shifted, and tried to handle it throughout lunch, but the last thing he said threw you. We were all eating dessert. I’d chosen something simple like a sorbet while he and Lani went in on some decadent chocolate, vanilla, and cherry concoction. They took turns teasing me about wanting it. It was Lewis who locked eyes with me and rocked all reserve with his “you want this deep inside.”

 What the fuck was I supposed to say to that? I had no idea, and he knew I had nothing. He also knew he’d had an effect. He’d had such a profound effect that my panties were now uncomfortably soaked. Asshole, I thought. He knew he was one; the sly smirk on his face said it. You watched him dip his spoon into his mouth and moan. He was pleased with himself.

 After lunch, I had steam to blow, so gambling was my suggestion. What else would bring almost as much pleasure as sex than winning more money than you came with? We went from table to table, placing bets, dropping chips, and claiming double what was wagered. Lani was a pro at Roulette, which she proudly showed off, winning two grand like it was easy. I was a monster at Blackjack. No matter the casino, or the deck of cards, or even those around me. I dominated the Blackjack table for almost two hours, winning hand after hand until management capped my winnings at six grand. I understood. They didn’t want me cleaning them out. Lewis was an ace at Poker and Craps and gladly let his cocky side.

 Before every roll of the dice, Lewis held them out for both Lani and me to blow on. The first time he held them out to me, I was confused. That was when he said, “Blow me.” The look he gave me had way too much effect on me. His amusement from my delayed reaction was evident, and he enjoyed making you pause. Roll after roll had him winning game after game at the Craps table. Every time he won, Lani wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged his head to her breasts.

 Their antics brought so many eyes, including mine, but I was having so much fun winning that I didn’t care when Lani pulled me into a sandwiched hug with Lewis in the middle leaving his head was pressed between yours and Lani’s breasts. Lewis crept his hand around my hip, resting it right at my hip bone. That was when I could have sworn I felt lips slide across my nipple. The instantaneous reaction began with my nipple hardening and my back arching slightly, all while a soft moan rolled from my lips. When I glanced down, Lewis was looking at me, and for a second, I forgot where I was and who I was.

 Lani cleared her throat, pulling my attention to her. The look on her face said all you needed to know. She was liking the way things were going.

 When I shied away from Lani and Lewis, I tested out a few of the slot machines wanting to try your luck there. It took some time for your streak to start, but there was no stopping it once it did. You struck gold every time you pulled down the handle on the side of the machine.

“Either you’ve got the Midas touch, or you’re rigging the machine.”

 You turned and saw Lewis standing there looking at the machine.

 “How would I have rigged it?”

 He shrugged and leaned on the seat I was sitting in. “There are ways.”

 “I just have the Midas, I guess.”

 Lewis smiled and nodded. “Looks like it. How much have you won today?”

 “More than you make in a month,” I teased.

 The laugh Lewis let out brought so many eyes to us, and he didn’t seem to care. I liked that he didn’t pay attention to others and focused on being himself.

 “Wow, you have quite the sass, huh.”

 I shrugged and pulled the lever again. We watched the screen as the images rolled in, showing off another win.

 “I should keep you by my side at all times. You just may be the luckiest woman I’ve ever met.”

 Before I could answer, another voice to my left drew my attention.

 “I second that.”

 He was tall, with a perfect jawline that was so chiseled it could have cut steel. His eyes were a deep green close to the color of seaweed, and his smile said he should work as a game show host or something.

 “Name’s Brian. I couldn’t help but watch you. You’re gorgeous.”

 On your right, Lewis scoffed in such a way there was no misinterpreting what it meant.

 “Uh—Lynix,” I replied.

 “Such an exotic name, almost reminds me of a Lynx cat, of course, sexier,” Brian added.

 “Oh boy, here we go,” Lewis chimed in. I glanced at him with a curious look, wondering why he was acting like this.

 “You are?”

 Lewis turned to the newcomer crossing his arms over his chest, making his biceps pop in the polo shirt he wore.

 “Don’t worry about all that. No one asked you to come over here.”

 My jaw dropped because that sound a lot like possessiveness. Brian stood tall and turned to Lewis as well.

 “Who can stay away from a beautiful woman like her? All I wanted to do was get next to greatness,” Brian slid in, making me smile. He was smooth. Looking at Lewis’s face, he didn’t look amused.

 Right when Lewis was about to say something, Lani came by giving Brian the once over.

 “What’s going on?”

 “Nothing,” I answered before Lewis could. Lani looked at me then, Brian. It was her asking if she wanted him gone. I slightly shook my head. I wanted to play this out.

 “Who’s your friend?”

 “This is Brian. He was just about to take me for a drink. Right, Brian?”

 Brian looked surprised by that, but not for long. A few seconds after I said it, his smile spread again.

 “Absolutely.” He held out his arm and waited for me to take it. When I did, I glanced at Lewis, whose jaw was clenched and eyes blazing. You knew a displeased man when you saw one, and he was definitely displeased.

While I had a drink with Brian at one of the bars and listened to him talk about his time in Vegas, I saw Lani and Lewis at the bar as well. They were drinking and whispering, having a grand ol’ time, but every so often, Lewis glanced over to you with the only annoyed look on his face. When he did, Lani looked amused, giving me a look that said she peeped it. Halfway through my drink, my phone went off.

 MSG Lani: Pity fuck huh. 🙄 

 I looked at her, narrowed my eyes then gave her the same eye roll she gave me in text. She wasn’t funny, not one bit. However, she might have a point, I thought. As I continued my conversation, Lani and Lewis came over to join you. Lani went on Brian’s right while Lewis came up to your left. He was close enough for me to smell the dark rum that swirled with his cologne. While Lani talked to Brian, he focused all his attention on her.

 “Another horny mistake?”

 His voice was a whisper that made it easier to smell the rum he was drinking. Lewis took another sip from his heavy crystal glass, but he didn’t look at me. He kept his eyes on the plethora of bottles decorating the wall of the bar.

 “Who said I was horny?”

 Lewis then looked at me and smirked. “Aren’t you?”

 I looked over the features of his face and got lost on his lips. They looked soft and well cared for.

 Jesus, I’m lusting.

 “Are you?”

 Lewis took another sip then sucked in a slow breath through his mouth. He didn’t speak for several moments. He just stared into my eyes like he was looking for something.

 “If you only knew,” Lewis whispered before looking away to finish his glass of Rum this time.

 “I’m sure Lani can help with that. There are plenty of corners, although I doubt you two need corners or privacy.”

 In seconds you felt Lewis’s breath on my ear. “What do you need, Nix?”

 Holy Shit!

 Though I tried, I couldn’t get any words to pass my lips. Not one.

 “All you have to do is say the words, tell me,” Lewis whispered again, his lips softly grazing my ear.

 My heart was racing so fast that I was sure there was no way he didn’t hear it. I was also sure that he could smell my arousal. I was that wet. Someone’s phone went off, and the unexpected sound broke the tension of the moment. Clearing my throat, I stood and adjusted my skirt.

 “Dinner. I think we should get to dinner,” I stuttered, walking away.

 I needed to get upstairs to that bedside drawer, and I needed to get there now. The car ride was the longest. As I sat there beside Lani, I couldn’t stop squirming. Every move I made, the slickness between my legs only turned me on more.  

 MSG: Did you tell him?

MSG Lani: Tell who what?

MSG: Don’t play innocent with me, Lani. Did you tell him?

 Lani looked at me, and I narrowed my eyes. There was no way she didn’t bring up her threesome plan to him. He’d gone from mildly seductive just from his aura to extremely panty soaking in one day. Lani rolled her eyes and tapped into her phone.

 MSG Lani: I did, but before you get mad, it wasn’t any serious. I just said I mentioned it to you.

MSG: Lani!

MSG Lani: Don’t be mad. It’s no big deal.

MSG: What did you say?

MSG Lani: That I’d asked, and you turned me down. He wanted to know why, and I said you had your reasons.

 I didn’t fully believe her.

 MSG Lani: I promise it’s no big deal.

 Sighing, I slipped my phone between my knees, leaned back, and willed the car to hurry up.

 Once we got back to the hotel, Lani said she’d meet us upstairs because she wanted to book a spa treatment for tomorrow. I didn’t need to be told twice. The elevator ride with Lewis wasn’t uncomfortable; it was more tense than anything else. Both of our eyes remained on the changing dial as the floors ticked away. Neither of us spoke. When I did have the courage to look over at him, I saw that his jaw clenched, his arms crossed, but his back was straight as an arrow.

 Unexpectedly Lewis looked over to me, and it felt like he was daring me to do something. His lips were curled into a sly sort of smile before he bit his bottom lip. My belly fluttered, making me drop my eyes, but when I did, it landed it on something unexpected. The bugle in his pants had almost all of your reserve falling, leaving only one measly ounce. Thankfully, the doors opened into the hall leading to the penthouse. I made a mad dash toward the door and inside. Not sparing another look at Lewis, I hightailed it to my bedroom.

 Once inside, I stripped and hurried into the shower, hoping that the water would help with the slickness I felt that only fueled my arousal even more. It was next to impossible to stop thinking about someone bending me over in the shower, but somehow you managed to focus on getting clean rather than getting dirtier.

 After my shower, I only felt less wet but still horny as ever. I was barely able to get through putting on my makeup. My hands kept shaking at the worst times, and my concentration was shot to shit. I’d wanted my makeup to match the dress I planned on wearing, but I couldn’t even get that together for the life of me.

 “Get your shit together, Nix.”

 Another few minutes found me just giving up on the elaborate eye makeup I’d wanted and dropping my brush in frustration. I rested my forehead on my hand and took a few deep breaths.

 “Fuck it!”

 I got up, walked over to my bed, and laid down. Once I reached inside the drawer to get my vibrator. Instead of using it our the gate, I slipped my fingers between my legs, only becoming half surprised to find I was already as wet as I’d been before I got into the shower. I ran my fingers up and down my slickened slit once, then twice and third. Each time I shuddered from the delicate pleasure that rolled through me. A soft but husky moan escaped my throat.

 Dipping my fingers into my heat, I brought the slickness back to my clit and circled the desperate bud. It wasn’t long before I’d closed my eyes and focused on the pleasure that was increasing by leaps and bounds with each passing second. Dripping my thighs back to the bed, I sped my movements making tight circles rather than the bigger ones from before.

 “Oh my god, yes!”

 There was no way I was going to last much longer. I could already feel the tension filling the pit of my stomach. Dipping my fingers back inside my cavern, I used them to replicate what I imagined Lewis did. At the thought of him, my eyes flew open to stare at the ceiling. While Lani was giving him head, I hadn’t been able to see just what he was blessed with. The only indication I’d gotten was from the constant gagging Lani did. She had said that he was more endowed than anyone she’d been with. I was curious now.

 My fingers had sped their plunge, and with it, so did the moans that fell from my lips. Soon your moans and whimpers cascaded from you. By the time I wondered if Lewis could hear me, I was too far gone. It was then I looked down my body to find Lewis at the door watching me. I should have screamed and clamped my legs shut or even hid from shame or embarrassment, but I didn’t do any of that.

 Instead, I bit my bottom lip and slowly took my fingers from my body to bring them back to my clit.

 “Mmmm, yes.”

Lewis took a few steps more into my room and toward the bed. Our eyes never left one another, and the longer he stared, the more turned on you were becoming. When Lewis made it to the bed's foot, his eyes dropped to your sex, and another whimper escaped you.

“Fuck!”

 His voice was strangled, and his eyes on fire. Earlier it looked like it was anger or annoyance, but now it was neither of those.

 “Fuck, you’re beautiful, Nix.”

 Lewis dropped to the floor, coming eye level with your sex. He then took a deep inhale.

 “Mmmm, you smell incredible. Do you taste as good as you smell?”

 The combination of his voice and his words had my back arch slightly off the bed.

 “Does it feel good, Nix?”

 I nodded.

 “Tell me how good.”

 “So—So—good.”

 Lewis groaned, focused on your pussy. He looked almost transfixed. After a few seconds, his jaw dropped, and I could have sworn I saw a little drool at the corner of his mouth, but before it dribbled, he closed it again.

 “Goddamn, you’re so wet. Be a good girl and show me.”

 I brought my hand away, dipped it into my heat, and pulled it back to show him the slickness that coated my fingers. I heard an audible growl fill the room. The fact that it came from him only ruined me more. Dipping my fingers back inside, I did what I knew would get me off.

 “That’s right. Fuck that pussy, Sunshine. Show me how you like it.”

 Bringing my other hand into the mix, I circled my clit then looked at Lewis again. He looked like he’d inched closer, and I wanted him to bury his face in to take over.

 “Mmm, you’re so tight, I can tell. Spread that pussy open for me.”

 Doing as I was told, I spread it, but I never slowed the tight circles around my clit. I was so close.

 “You’re gonna come? Come for me, Nix. Let me see how beautiful you are when you come.”

 My whimpers turned into whines, and my tight circles turned sloppy and staggered as did the speed of my fingers thrusting in and out of my sopping core. In seconds my toes curled, and I’d bent off the bed as if I was a bridge.

 “Fuck, fuck, fuck Lewis!”

My body shook for several long moments as I rode the waves of ecstasy and relished the tingles that spread through my body. I’d been holding a lot of tension, and now I could feel the little bubbles popping in thin air as they exited my body. When I looked back at Lewis, he was so close. Inching up, I withdrew me soaked digits and brought them to Lewis’s lips. Without needing to be told, he opened his mouth and sucked each and every one of my fingers clean.

 “Mmm, you taste amazing. Let me clean you up and eat that pretty pussy baby. I want it so bad.”

 That was what you wanted to. It amazed you how badly you wanted him to clean up the mess you’d made of yourself. As you opened your mouth to speak, you heard Lani shout your name. Lewis looked as if he’d found his senses. He rubbed his forehead and sighed before he stood from your bed foot.

 “I’m—sorry.”

 With that, he was gone. Though you were satisfied, I could feel the heat rising again.

 An hour later found me dressed, collected, and at a steakhouse with Lani and Lewis. Thank to my release, my body was more relaxed now, but my mind was a chaotic erotic nightmare. I couldn’t stop replaying what happened in my bedroom and he gall I’d had to feed him my fingers to clean off. The fire I’d seen in his eyes and the yearning I’d head in his voice was something I hadn’t expected.

 Would it really be a pity fuck?

 Lani flirted with Lewis using her seductive touches and whispers, and I could tell that he was hanging on but barely. Deciding to toy with him a little, I did what Lani did, but more subtly. When she ate off his plate, I did too. When she held his hand on top of the table, I slyly allowed my body to touch him underneath the table. When Lani leaned into him, I leaned over him to take a piece of food from Lani’s plate. The whole time I knew that he could see my cleavage.

 By the time we’d moved on to dessert, Lewis was the one squirming and downing his drink like his thirst was unquenchable. I loved seeing him squirm. He thought he had this power and control. He needed to be humbled to realize just which sex had the power in the world. When Lewis went to talk to the owner of the restaurant, I filled Lani in and tried to get whatever information she had. I knew she couldn’t be an innocent bystander, and she wasn’t.

 “I can’t believe you told him that.”

 Lani nodded. I saw the remnants of his drink and finished the glass.  The burn of the dark liquor was intense against my tongue.

 “So, he’s been acting like this all day on purpose?”

 “Lani smirked, giving the answer away. I couldn’t help but snort, bringing my hand to my head, smacking myself.

 “If you needed more evidence that you’re attracted to him or him attracted to you, then you have this entire day. Hell, you have the casino.”

 I looked at Lani silently, asking her to continue.

 “I saw how he was when that guy came over and flirted. Lewis can keep his cool about a lot of things, but I can always tell when he’s jealous.”

 “Jealous!? Lani, get real. That’s yo man. He wouldn’t be jealous.”

 Lani pulled me closer to her and rested her chin on my shoulder. “Why do you think I was so adamant about you coming this weekend?”

 Glancing to her, my brows crinkled, wondering what the hell she was talking about.

 “As I said, I’m only cool with sharing with you. A while ago, I knew Lew would like you, and I couldn’t think of anything better than having you by my side while we have some fun.”

 Snorting, I shook my head. “Lani--,” I began.

 “Stop frontin. You know you like him. You know this whole day you’ve been horny and wet for him.”

 At that moment, a thought filled me, making me gasp loudly, snapping my head to Lani.

 “Oh my god, did you put him up to this Nalani?”

 “Damn, my whole name, huh.”

 “You did!”

 I dropped my forehead into my hands while resting my elbows on the table. I couldn’t believe this. It kind of felt like my best friend was pimping me out to her sexy as hell fuck buddy.

 “Lani, you’re pimping me out.”

 “I am not. Think of this as more than sex. This could be something.”

 Rolling my eyes, I sighed, “Like what, a contractual fuck buddies situation?”

 “Shut up. No. Like he flies us where he goes, and we soak up the culture of the world while enjoying his company and the perks of it,” Lani explained, raising her eyebrows for emphasis.

 “Oh my god. We don’t need anyone to help us soak up the culture of the world, Lani. We do good on our own.”

 “True. It’s just—sometimes, it’d be nice if someone took care of us the way we take care of ourselves. Ya’ know?”

 I did know. I understood her completely. While it was great being able to do things and get things for yourself, it was also nice to be taken care of by someone on a different level. Sighing, I sat back and pondered her words. She had a point. Maybe I needed to just give in to what I really wanted. From across the restaurant, I could see Lewis talking to the owner. They were laughing like they’d been long time friends. The comfort between the two was evident. When he glanced back to Lani and me and pointed us out, the owner said something to him with a smile on his face—a smile Lewis returned with a nod.

 “Let’s head out. I think we can find a club that’s more up to our speed,” I said to Lani, raising one of my eyebrows.

 The excitement on Lani’s face said it all. She knew what time it was.

 When Lewis came back over, we took a picture with the owner. Lani and I were in front, stooping down like the Charlie’s Angel’s Charlie’s Angels wished they could be, while the two of them stood behind us. It was a dope picture.

 In the car, I whispered to the driver where to take us while Lani distracted him so he wouldn’t suspect a thing. Thankfully the drive wasn’t too long since everything in Sin City was in short distance. When the car pulled up, and we piled out, I watched Lewis’s jaw drop when he saw the name of the establishment.

 Treasures.

 Lewis looked at both Lani and me as if we’d grown a pair of extra heads. Lani wrapped her arm around my waist and led me to the door.

 “Enter if you dare,” I teased, walking inside with a giggling Lani.

Once inside, we waited for Lewis to catch up. It was only a few seconds before he was behind us, draping his arms over both our shoulders.

 “Now, why would you ladies lure me here?”

 “Lure? Did we lure, Nix?”

 “Not at all. If we were to lure you, it would look like this.” I began turning around to face him while walking backward.

 “Are you coming?”

 Lani was the first to join my side, and then Lewis did the same with a wide smile. We walked to one of the empty lounges and sat with him in the middle.

 “Hi there, welcome to Treasures. I’m Pinky,” began a beautiful woman with pink hair, cheek piercings, and deep brown eyes.

  As I looked lower over her mahogany skin, my eyes couldn’t help but take in her incredible breasts that were barely concealed by her bedazzled bikini top. I didn’t know if they were implants of natural, but it didn’t matter. I bet they brought in plenty of horny men.

 “Hello, Pinky,” Lewis replied, leaning back on the lounger with a smile.

 “What can I get you three? Food, drinks, one of the girls?”

 Lewis looked at Lani, then me licked his lips and smiled again. “Whatever you ladies want.”

 Lani and I exchanged looks for a few moments communicating nonverbally.

 “How about a bottle of dark rum to get us started and maybe a girl for a dance,” Lani requested.

 “Sure thing? Any preference?”

 Lani and I smiled and replied, “Black and beautiful.”

 Lewis chuckled, “I third that.”

 When Pinky left, Lani leaned to Lewis and took out something rolled from his sports jacket's inner pocket. Lewis offered her the light, and I watched as she took a few puffs then released the smoke. When she did, I could tell just what it was.

 “Who knew weed was your cup of tea,” I said, leaning back and crossing my legs.

 “Ha, there’s plenty you don’t know about me,” Lewis answered before he took a few puffs of his own. When he finished, he held it out to me.

 “Let’s hope by the time the sun comes up; you know me a lot better.”

 Those were more than empty words. I took the blunt and took several long drags from it, closing my eyes to allow the substance to work its way to my brain.

 Who knows, the odds of that statement becoming true were getting more and more likely.

 Fifteen or so minutes later, once the three of you had the bottle of rum open and taking turns gulping from the three hundred dollar bottle, a dancer named Lioness was doing her thing on the small table before us. Her outfit was perfect and showed off all her best assets—everything. When she approached Lani, she shook her ass in her face, to which Lani slapped one of her cheeks. Almost instantly, she gasped and held her hands back in an apologetic way. Lioness didn’t seem angry; instead, she sat in Lani’s lap and proceeded to give her a lapdance. Lani’s squeals said she was having a good time.

 “Oh no,” I whined, holding up the blunt that was now too small to hold.

 “Not to worry, sunshine, daddy’s got more,” Lewis said, showing the inside of his jacket.

 I smiled and reached for one coming even closer to his face. Glancing up, our eyes met, and that’s where they stayed.

 “You’re blazed,” Lewis said with a wide smile, one I returned.

 “Don’t laugh at me.”

 His smile softened, and his hand came to my cheek. “I’m not babygirl. I have better things I’d rather do than laugh at you.”

 From the side, I saw Lani nod her head, and Lioness approaching like a predator coming for her prey.

 “I hope this lapdance is one of them,” I said, nudging my head, making him look back to see Lioness approach to dance in front of him.

 “Wow.”

 Lewis leaned back and looked over her body, which gave me the time to light the new blunt. After taking a few puffs, Lani whined for her turn. We traded her for the blunt and me for the Rum. When Lioness sat in Lewis’s lap, he laughed. While he looked to be having a good time, he didn’t look to be on the brink of losing control. I got up and slinked around Lioness to Lani. As she took a puff, she held it out to me to take one. After I did, I gulped a mouthful of rum and moaned as it burned its path down my throat.

 Lani stood and began swaying to the music in front of you. The instrumental version of Desperado was blaring in the club with a slowed-down dub. It sounded a lot more seductive than the original.  Lani took the rum and handed me the blunt. As I took another drag, I leaned my head back and moaned. When I looked over to Lewis on the couch, his eyes weren’t on Lioness. They were on Lani and me. That was when the most devious idea popped into my head. Whispering to Lani to clue her in, she looked at me and gave me her sinister smile.

 I dug into my clutch, took out a few bills, then walked over to Lioness, tucked it into her jeweled thong, and whispered a thank you. Her smile was soft. She got the hint. Lani and I walked toward Lewis, held out our hands, and waited for him to take the bait. It wasn’t long before he did. Pulling him to us, Lewis’s body collided with ours.

 “Not interested in the dancer, baby?”

 Lewis smiled, took the blunt from my lips, and took a long pull from it then smiled.

 “How can I be when you two are right in front of me.”

“I think he wants a show of his own, Lani.”

 Her smile widened before she bit her bottom lip. “Then follow us, daddy. We’ll give you a show you’ll never forget.”

 Lewis’s smile slipped as he looked between the two of us. We’d sure gotten his undivided attention now. We turned then walked away to one of the rooms that were marked “private.”

 Once inside, the mirrored walls threw our reflections back. I walked to the mirror and fluffed my hair, and rubbed my lips together. My body was tingling, which was normal for when I drank and smoked. It was a pleasant tingle, one that had me feeling loose.

 “Oh Nixy,” Lani sing-songed making me turn to see her at the music player.

 The song that she’d chosen was a personal favorite. She walked to me while circling her hips. Once to me, she walked around me once, then went around to my back and placed her hand on my hip. Following her rhythm, I circled my hips with her and handed her the rum bottle. As she drank, I bent forward just a little, poking my ass out and onto her. Lani quickly slapped my ass, making me laugh. Soon we were both giggle loudly until Lewis’s figure in the center of the room caught our eye.

 “Forgot about me?”

 “Never, daddy,” Lani said as she walked to him, making me follow.

 Once in front of him, Lani rolled her hips, turning her back to him to bend forward. Lewis groaned then slapped her ass, making her moan. When he looked at me, I walked to his back then bent over his shoulder, making my breast press against him. Looking at him, I saw the desire in his eyes. I smiled and took the blunt from him, then went beside Lani. As I puffed, she went behind me to trail her hands down the center of my body until she turned me to her. The look on her face was easy to read.

 We both looked at Lewis before our lips met in a slow and teasing kiss. This wasn’t the first time we’d kissed. It wasn’t a big deal for either of us. When we pulled apart, we both looked back to Lewis and blew out the smoke we’d transferred and split. He didn’t look like he was breathing, but the bulge in his pants said he was alive.

 “Like what you see, daddy?”

 “Come here, princess.”

 Lani walked to Lewis. Once she was before him, he pulled her down by the back of her neck and kissed her intensely, making a slow heat roll through your belly and across your limbs. Before the kiss got too hot, he pulled away, looked at me, and smiled.

 “You too, sunshine.”

 I slowly walked toward him and stood beside Lani again. He didn’t touch me, though. His eyes slowly roamed my body, drinking in every curve. Lani sat on one of Lewis’s spread thighs.

 “Dance for us, Nix.”

 Not needing to be told twice, I turned my back to them and swayed to the music and slowly wined my hips, bringing myself to the floor to slowly stand up while bending, giving them a good view of my ass.

 “Goddamn, girl,” Lewis groaned out before he moaned.  

 Looking back at them, I winked then faced them to continue my seductive dance. Lani stood and joined me, poking out her ass onto me. I brought my hand down to return the slap she’d given me earlier. The action had her moaning. Slowly I brought my hands up her body, all the while never taking my eyes off of Lewis. He smiled and blew out the smoke making the room even hazier. With every breath I took, my high was only increasing, and my inhibitions decreasing. Bringing my lips to Lani’s ears, I whispered.

 “Let’s do it.”

 By the time we made it back to the penthouse, we were all higher than before and laughing up a storm. Once inside, Lani was the one to shout for the pool before she took off. Lewis was right behind her, leaving me to walk behind them. When I got outside, they’d already gotten into the pool, and Lani was in Lewis’s arms. The two were heavily making out. Their moans echoed off the water, leaving me to stand and watch for a few moments.

 When their eyes turned to me, Lani slipped from his arms to disappear under the water. His eyes drank you in, and the way he looked at me made boy heart race, my belly knot, and my sex quiver.

“The water’s great. Come in,” Lewis beckoned as he approached the edge of the pool.

I stood at the edge, watching him swim to me. Before he got there, he stopped, and I could see Lani under the water claiming his cock as her mouth’s possession. She sure wasted no time, I thought. Lewis moaned then rolled his neck. With his head dropped back, I was able to take in the way his shoulders stretched out and how his arms were the perfect combination of power and beauty. The glow of the blue light that was in and around the pool only accentuated his sexiness. When Lewis looked at me, I was about ready to see what the fuck Lani’s screams were all about and if he deserved such praise.

 I unzipped the side of the dress and allowed it to fall from my body to reveal the neon green of my lacy thong.

 “Jesus, you’re gonna kill me, sunshine.”

 I sat at the edge and dangled my legs in the water, and watched the wavy image of Lani, giving him head.

 “She sure can hold her breath long.”

 Lewis smiled and bucked his hips forward. Lani came up a few seconds later.

 “Lew, not fair. You could have killed me,” Lani whined to a smiling Lewis.

 “Look.”

 Lani looked back at me and smiled. Lewis leaned to her ear and spoke. “Told you, daddy would make you get what you wanted.”

 Lani smiled wider and swam to me. When she got close, she flung water at me, leaving it to train down my body. Lani hopped up onto the stone beside me and sat down as well. She was completely naked.

 “I remember these,” Lani began snapping the waistband of my thong.

 “You should. It was barely two weeks ago we got them,” I replied.

 “They still look cute on you, especially against your skin. Uugh, so fucking gorgeous, right daddy.”

 Our eyes went back to Lewis, who still hadn’t moved. His eyes were looking between us as if he didn’t know what to say or do. He slowly approached us, then stopped. His eyes roamed my naked upper half until they dripped to the garment in question. When I saw him bite his bottom lip, he nodded.

 “So fucking gorgeous.”

 I couldn’t help but smile. He had a way with words.

 “Can I?”

 He looked as if he were holding his breath, waiting for my answer. When I nodded, he closed the gap between us. Trailing his finger from my shin up over my knee and along my thigh, they reached the waistband of my underwear, and he snapped them purposefully. Lewis kissed my knee then moved over to Lani. He hoisted her legs out of the water, pressed them back, and got up close and personally with her pussy.

 His eyes locked with mine before he licked along her sex, making her moan. He did it again and again, then sucked Lani’s clit into his mouth. Her gasp was loud. He sucked her like there was no tomorrow, and with every move he made, Lani whimpered before her hand dropped to the top of his head.

 “Right there, daddy.”

 As he lapped at her core, he kept his eyes on me. The longer he gave her pleasure, the wetter I became, and the wetter I became, the more I wanted him to touch me. After several long minutes, he still hadn’t, and my frustration was beginning to show. Cupping my breast, I tweaked my nipple at the same time Lani’s whines increased.

 “Fuck, you’re gonna make me come, daddy. Right there!”

 Lewis’s eyes were dark, and when he pulled back from Lani, his lips were wet. Lani whined.

 “Lewwww!”

 He dropped a slap to her clit, silencing her completely while having her drop her head back.

 “Oh, fuck.”

 Lewis smiled and came back over to me while cleaning his lips.

 “Do you remember what I told you this afternoon?”

 Thinking back, I remembered. When he saw that I had, he smiled again.

 “All you have to do is say the words,” Lewis repeated.

 The way he looked at me only solidified my decision and fueled my desire.

 “I want you,” I said. His smile widened, but he didn’t move.

 “While I love the way that sounds. Those aren’t the words.”

 “Lew, you know she wants you just--.”

 Again Lewis slapped Lani’s clit, and her body jerked, and a hand instinctively dropped between her legs. Lewis shot her a warning look, and in seconds she’s put her hands back on the stone surface. Lewis looked back at me and released a breath.

 “I want you to fuck me.”

 Lewis smiled, showing his perfect teeth. He approached, sliding his hands over my thighs to the waistband of the thong to pull it off of me. When he did, he tossed it behind him, not caring where it landed.

 “Show me that pretty pussy, sunshine.”

 You spread your legs but not entirely. Lewis tsked.

 “I know you can do better than that.”

 I fully spread them and watched him gawk at me like he hadn’t seen it before. When he brought his lips to my skin, he kissed my inner thighs, prolonging my desperate need for contact.

 “You’re so wet, babygirl. Is this for me?”

 I bit my bottom lip and nodded. “All for you,” I whispered.

 “Mmm, I’ve been thinking about this pussy all day.”

 Once the words were out, Lewis buried his face between my thighs. Once I felt his lips, I dropped my head back to the stone and allowed the pleasure he gave me without much effort to fill me. Moaning loudly, my body quivered. Cupping my breast, I tweaked my nipple again, edging my arousal higher.

 “Fuck I was right. You do taste incredible.”

 Lewis quickly flicked his tongue against my clit, making me whimper louder. It felt as if his tongue moved at lightning pace, and with every flick, he somehow made my body even hotter. I felt like I was on fire, but I didn’t hate it. I loved it. Dropping my hand to his head, I held on because I felt the stirs of an unexpected orgasm. Lewis moaned against my skin, making me tumble off the into ecstasy.

 “Fuuuuck!”

 My scream was not alone. Looking to my right, I saw Lewis plunging his fingers in and out of Lani’s core as his mouth still worked magic on you. Lani panted, writhed, and screeched.

 “Yes, daddy. I’m gonna come. Yes!”

 Lewis didn’t slow his fingers or his tongue. Instead, he continued and sucked the soul out of your body while having Lani cream all over his fingers.

 When he pulled back, we laid there panting, trying to catch our breath. Once I did, I looked down, expecting to see Lewis, but only saw an empty pool. Looking to my right, I watched as he approached in all his glory, finally getting my answer I’d been wondering about. He was hunger better than Seabiscuit.

 “Holy Fuck, Lani.”

 “I’ve been trying to tell you.”

 “No need to tell her anything. Seeing is believing. Your knees,” Lewis instructed.

 Lani seemed to know the drill, but I did not. I watched Lani get on her knees then I looked back at Lewis. He just watched me and waited for me to obey. I mirrored Lani and feasted my eyes on his manhood. It looked heavy, long, and thick. Lord have mercy, I thought.

 “I know you want this princess. Do you, babygirl?”

 Deciding not to answer, I wrapped my hand around his shaft, drawing a strangled groan from Lewis. It was as heavy as it looked. I ran my hand up and down, familiarizing myself with him, then I tipped my tongue out to swirl around his swollen head.

 “Aaah, yes, babygirl,” Lewis whispered before he whimpered.

 I moaned on him then dipped my mouth down his length taking him as far as I dared. Lodging him in my throat, I tightened it and hummed. Lewis groaned deeply, then laced his hands behind my head, keeping him snugly where he wanted to be. When his groan turned to a whimper, he released me, making me pull back to catch my breath.

 Lani rose onto her knees and took over, mirroring her same movements from the night I’d seen her. Instead of sitting there and letting her have all the fun, I dipped under her mouth to capture one of his balls in my mouth to suck on it gently. Lewis sighed out long and loud and placed a hand on the back of both Lani’s and my head.

 “Mmm, that’s it. Suck this dick, Lani.”

 She moaned her acceptance.

 “Mmm, yes, Nix. Just like that.”

 Lani pulled back, and we switched positions. For the next few minutes, Lani and I alternated between her at his balls and me on his dick and vise versa. When Lewis pulled away and stepped back, he helped us up and led us upstairs to the bedroom. Once inside, Lewis pulled me into his body to kiss my lips. His moved expertly over mine, sucking, nibbling, and teasing as he pleased. When he wrapped his tongue around mine, I moaned, clinging to him.

As I was getting used to kiss—our first, Lewis abruptly pushed me onto the bed. While he kissed Lani with the same fire he’d kissed me. When he came over to kneel on the bed, I watched him stroke himself. The way he did it had my mouth watering. I knew what was next, and I wanted it so badly my sex quivered.

 “You ready for this dick, Nix?”

 I nodded.

 “I can’t hear you. Tell daddy how bad you want this dick.”

 Nah!

 I dropped my hands between my legs, bringing his attention to it, and circled my clit. That was when I spread my lips so he could see just what he was doing to me. Lewis groaned but didn’t tear his eyes away.

 “Are you ready for this pussy, Lewis?”

 Lani giggled behind me from her spot on the bed by my head. Her laughter only emboldened me.

 “Hmm? I can’t hear you.” I dipped a finger inside my heat and raised it to my lips to suck it clean.

 “Mmm, this pussy is so good. Do you want it?”

 Lewis smiled then hovered over me to take one of my nipples into his mouth to swirl his tongue around the peak before nibbling down. I whimpered again then squirmed when I felt him swipe his cock across my slit.

 “Lani was right about you,” Lewis whispered.

 “I told you, daddy. I hope you can handle two of a kind,” Lani teased.

 Lewis leaned over my head and kissed Lani fervently. The view from underneath was a sensual one, and as I was getting lost in it, Lewis thrust forward, connecting our bodies in one swift move.

 “Fuck!”

 Lewis and I shouted the same thing at the same time. With him buried to the hilt, he didn’t move. He waited, allowing me to adjust to the size and girth of him. The stretch was the most sinfully delicious thing I’d ever felt. Unable to take the maddening pressure, I began pushing Lewis back at his hips, but he didn’t budge.

 “Oh no babygirl, don’t push me away. Take this dick. You wanted it, right?”

 With that, he retreated only to thrust forward again, nudging that special spot within me.

 “I can’t hear you? You gonna tap out?”

 Another retreat and thrust forward sent my breasts swinging and my head angling back.

 “We’ve just begun. You hadn’t even screamed my name yet.”

 Another retreat and thrust forward had me clenching around him and panting to catch my breath.

 “Fuck, Nix. You’re so fucking tight. It’s taking everything not to come.”

 Three thrusts followed, and before Lewis slowly rolled his hips, making me moan deeply.

 I could tell he wasn’t going to go slow anymore, and a few moments later, it was like a beast was released. His thrusts sped, his moans increased as did mine.

 “Mmm, Sit that pussy on her face, princess. Give her a taste of what’s mine.”

 Lani looked at me, seeking permission. Giving her a slight nod, she moved to angle herself over my mouth. This is a first, I thought to myself as I tipped my tongue out to lick across her flesh. Lani moaned softly, making me do the action again and again. After teasing her flesh, for a few moments, I sucked Lani’s clit into my mouth. It was an interesting experience, to say the least, but it wasn’t one I was against.

 Lani jerked forward before she cursed.

 “I got you, princess. Does it feel good?”

 “Mmm, yes, daddy, it feels good.”

 “Is she licking that pussy, right?”

 Lani exclaimed again as I pulled her lower onto my mouth so I could have more access. Mimicking the same thing Lewis did to me, I flicked my tongue against her in a pattern of flicks and swirls, each pattern changing, never the same. Lani whimpered and hissed.

 “Fuck, Nix. That feels so good.”

 Lewis’s thrusts sped, and my whimpers picked up, breaking my concentration from what I was doing.

 “Shit, you’re close huh, babygirl,” Lewis said through clenched teeth.

 Before I knew it, a violent orgasm was ripping through me, making me see stars, rainbows, heaven, and hell. That was when Lani began bucking against my mouth, using my lips as her personal toys.

 “Shit, I’m coming too,” Lani screeched out.

 Lewis pulled from me, then rolled me to the side, pulling Lani to him to plunge into her depths.

 “Fuck, Lew!”

 He groaned loudly and set a fast pace. He had no intention of going slow.

 “Your turn, babygirl.”

 I knew what he was instructing. Crawling to Lani, she nodded at me, allowing me to swing my leg over her face while still kneeling with my ass facing Lewis.

 “Clean her up for me, princess.”

 Lani sucked my sex into her mouth and lapped at mine and Lewis’s combined juices, instantly making me moan and whimper. As Lani moaned her pleasure, I dropped my head to the bed and focused on the orgasm that was bubbling within me. Lewis’s hand dropped to my ass, making me whimper again.

 “Goddamn, this ass is something else!”

 He slapped it again, this time a lot harder than I felt his lips against the most taboo part of me, which made me fling my head back. Not only was Lani underneath me making it damn hard for me to go back to strictly dick, but Lewis was behind me, showing me the pleasure I’d been missing out on.

 That was the last straw for me before I came undone. Dropping to the bed on my stomach, I tried to catch my breath from the sheer force of my orgasm. Lewis kissed my ass, then rolled to the side to lay on his back. The three of us panted in the elegance of the room. I don’t know how many minutes passed before any of us moved, but when I moved, I saw the sun rising through the window and groaned.

 “Oh god, the sun, make it stop,” I whined.

 “Two of a kind indeed, Lewis said on a scoff before he clapped his hands, bringing the blinds to a close, darkening the room.

 We all slithered to the covers slipping underneath them. Lewis laid in the middle while Lani and I climbed on either side of him. When I rested my head on the pillow, I sighed, and Lewis kissed my cheek.

 “Thank you for putting us out of our misery,” he whispered into my ear, making me smirk before I rolled my eyes to focus on sleep. I was exhausted.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TagList:

@maxcullen @night-of-the-living-shred @chaneajoyyy @queenoftheworldisdead @shar74nett @raveviolet @dangerouslovefanfic @caramara3 @sonjashuterbugjohnson @emjayewrites @blumeesworld @tashawar @thevintagelover @nachtaiwrites @imanerdychubbyqueen @tinydramatist  @aquarious-smr-writing @ellixthea @kaiya- ch4n @zeelmol @xsweetdellzx @labella420 @coldmuffinbanditshoe @areubeingserved @caplover22​

Chapter Four, the final chapter will be on @munteanhorewrites page.

#sin in the city fic #sin in the city mini series #lewis tan #lewis tan fanfiction #lewis tan x reader #lewis tan x you #lewis tan x black reader #black fanfiction #lewis tan x black reader x black reader #lewis tan smut

[top100of2021]

The Top 100 Songs of 2021

Hey everyone, if you aren’t familiar with what this is, it’s my favorite 100 songs of the past year. For every song, I mix in some kind of personal story or anecdote. I do this every year - just change the year in the URL line for 2020, 2019, 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015 or 2014.

The Spotify playlist for this year can be found here. Kyle is working on the Apple Music playlist and in return, I will give him a Buffet Royale gift card. EDIT: Here it is! https://music.apple.com/ca/playlist/top100of2021/pl.u-5g0yh8N6zZa?

The list is less about the songs and more of a lookback at the year we endured and the memories we’ve made. A Christmas card, if you will. If your favorite song didn’t make it, you can write your frustrations down on a napkin and then take that napkin and wipe your ass. I don’t really care. 

The title is a bit of a trick, as we don’t have 100 songs on the list this year. It’s only 85 - the lowest number for a list I’ve written since the first one in 2013. This is because Covid-19 took our planet and - as Matty Lew famously quotes often - “bent us over and showed us the fifty states.” 

I have a feeling that Covid-19 isn’t leaving us anytime soon (Omicron baby). Hopefully by next December, the worst it gets for anyone is they have a sniffle on the couch while they fart around watching re-runs of Between the Lions. 

By the way, a disclaimer: For anyone who isn’t in the list or feels they’re not in it enough: I WANT to always be doing something, and hanging out, or talking to people and learning a new POV. I’m just shitty at initiating often. Hit me up at 780-893-2443 or fire me a message over Messenger. Let’s figure it out. 

Onto the list, shall we? (No Ronan, not that list, shut it):

100-86: All Too Well (10 minute version) - Taylor Swift

This section is reserved for the points that I wish we could have wrote about - the memories that weren’t made in between January - June. 

There was a lot of discussion in this time about what we’d do when the vaccines released, but so little action. A lot of this time was spent just roaming aimlessly around YouTube watching clips of Saturday Night Live or House. 

I want to thank the Alberta government, Covid-19 & stupid ass cold (or too hot) weather for taking away about 15 points from this year’s list. Easily one of the most frustrating times in my life. 

The feeling of loneliness and isolation sucks ass. We know that all too well, so if it happens again...imma head out.

Literally throwing this in here but, remember that fire in Erin Ridge? That was nuts. I could see it from my house. 

85: Industry Baby - Lil Nas X, Jack Harlow

We’ll start with the movie industry baby!

Matt left the industry - which is too bad, as we can’t call him Landmark Lew anymore like we do in the desk. 

Once we got theatres back, I saw a few flicks with Matt & Kyle. 

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings - I liked this movie, especially Ben Kingsley and the bus scene. My qualm is with the writing with Awkafina especially near the end. One arrow? That’s all she needed? Really? 

No Time to Die - This was shot beautifully. It’s also closer to the wackier Bond films of the pre-Daniel Craig era. Sure, the plot is muddled and half the time I don’t know why Rami Malek’s character is inspired to do what he does. It’s still a really fun time even though there isn’t much epilogue. 

Dune - Matt hated this. I liked it but by the end I was definitely thinking wow....this was a great prequel to the movie I WANT to see. Music slaps. Looks beautiful for the most part. Acting is quite good. The name of the character Duncan Idaho is super goofy but all-in-all, I was entertained. It’s a tad long. 

84: Cure for Me - AURORA

The vaccines aren’t really a cure for me - but they certainly helped. 

I got my first Covid-19 vaccine at Remedy R/X in May (thanks Stephanie) and got the 2nd one at the EXPO Centre in June. My mom and I recently got our 3rd dose - BOOSTED!

The moment I got that first dose - it felt pretty awesome with a bit of relief that I wouldn’t infect more vulnerable people I’m close to. 

Hopefully you got it too. There is no viable reason not to (unless you’re legit allergic, that would suck). 

Moderna Gang or Pfizer Gang? I have both in my system. 

83. Far Out - Ben Howard

Once people started getting their vaccines more, the “Best Summer Ever” was on the horizon (sigh). 

It seemed far out in January but alas, we made it to reopening. 

One of the really nice things was being able to go to Cafe Amore again with my dad, Kaitlin + Mike. I still love their Pollo Parmigiana with a side linguini with the tasty Caesar Salads. They treat us like family. 

A bit of an odd story but when the province was announcing reopening, I was actually in the hospital for a small procedure. Don’t worry, I walked home after. 

When I got to the front of the hospital before the procedure, there was police and healthcare workers everywhere. Apparently, a guy had a heart attack in the lobby. You never want to see that, but hey...if you’re going to have a heart attack, there’s no better place! 

This was the same day that Ken Holland had a press conference about the Oilers “best summer ever” that was ahead. Matt and I knew it wouldn’t be. 

82. How Not to Drown - CHVRCHES, Robert Smith

I now work for the rights holder of the Edmonton Oilers. 

That doesn’t mean I’m not a frustrated fan anymore. 

I absolutely love their top five forwards - and you know Evan Bouchard is going to be a Klak favourite for years to come. 

They still don’t have the forward depth, defense or goaltending to be any kind of serious contender. That sucks when you have two of the best players in the universe scoring at Mario Lemieux-like paces. 

Oh well. Once again, if you’re reading this, you know I can help fix the problem. If you have a connection to the team’s front office, I’ll work for a bag of Cheetos if it means I can turn the ship around. I want a Stanley Cup in my lifetime. I want to win for the city of Edmonton. 

Also, Zach Hyman and I are twins. Here is the proof. Wyatt calls me “Klak Hyman” now. 

81. Her - Poppy

Despite the pandemic, I was fortunate to still be able to make it to some Edmonton Oilers games. 

Matt took me to three pre-season games - all wins! We shared a Lime to get to Rogers Place - it was quite intimate. 

I also got to go to the Oilers vs Kings with Josh, Amy & Ronan! Sure, they lost 5-1, but doesn’t matter to me. Any game is a treat at the rink. 

Josh warns you though - the popcorn is gross. 

Also this is completely unrelated but...Raphy: “Her?” I literally just brought up that reference to fit this song title. 

Anyways, here is a picture of the boys at Rogers Place. Thanks Amy! 

80. .intoodeep. - Dead Poet Society 

When we were in too deep with Covid-19 last winter, we had to figure out a way to still celebrate New Years Eve. 

That was the beginning of the Facebook parties. 

The first big one we did was the “New Years Bored as F” chat - which was open to anyone on FB Messenger to come and join. It had issues - for example you could only join via desktop or through certain app versions - but it’d have to do. 

Kelsey, Jordan, Adrienne, Samantha, Matias, Brian and others all stopped by to see what the hell was going on. 

Dyl, Pam, Matty Lew, Rachel, Brenna, Ronan, Raphy, Flem and I ended up being the group that went past 1am playing games late into the night. Some of us still drank, hoping to be able to celebrate in person for 2022. It looks like that’s a possibility...although fuck Omicron. 

Weren’t you driving Aaron at one point? I swear to god you were driving and on the chat. 

79. Quiet on Set - Remi Wolf

Many Corona chats would end up spawning after January 1. 

We did a birthday bash for Ronan. 

We had a Valentines Day Mixer for about five seconds. 

We had a solid crew play Jackbox on Zoom - not Drew though, he was too busy gaming. 

We survived the Brazilian Variant. We freed Britney Spears. We concluded that Ben Askren took a dive (okay that was just me).

There were several Sociables nights. One was with the boys (Ben, Christian, Ronan, Drew, Raphy I think?) that got wild. 

One of the crazier ones was the Good Ol Fashioned FB Rager - that one was Raphy, Ronan, Matty Lew, Christi, Maria and myself - and that one was absolutely the one I got the most drunk at. Fun but yikes. 

Whether we had Brenna, Braydon, Nick, Jordan, Wyatt, Dyl - it was always more fun than doing nothing. By the end, we had a core crew that showed up to most of them - Matty Lew, Raphy, Ronan, Christi and myself. 

It helped pass some of that dead time due to Covid-19 and helped me at least have some kind of a social life. Maybe someday we’ll do another. 

Lew, that Oilers squad should have easily won the Cup. Sergei Fedorov was on fire. Dammit. Guy Carbonneau didn’t lead well enough. GUY!

78. Wrecked - Imagine Dragons

We even played Oregon Trail at one point. We got to make up the character names and it’s time to reveal some of them: Kyle Bodnar was the only one of our party who stayed alive, so congrats to Kyle on being the sole survivor. Drew died easily. 

And Kelsey...well...you complained of exhaustion and then just died. Sorry. 

77. Let It Scare You - The Zolas

Covid-19 or the cold didn’t scare Kelly, James and I from having a fire at James’ old place in the middle of winter. 

We ate some Subway, talked about NBA Hot Shot + sports betting for a bit and shot the shit - which at this time was REALLY nice as I had barely seen anyone at that time. Thankfully, it wasn’t -30. 

You know Fireman James can get a damn good flame cooking. 

Speaking of NBA Hot Shot, that was a real interesting fad. I opened one pack for $15 bucks and sold my three cards for $400 only fifteen minutes later. NFTs man...it felt more gimmicky than a trend but with the internet, you never know. (Date this for later). Shaye got into it too. 

76. Silk Chiffon - MUNA, Phoebe Bridgers

Another rare fun activity during the shitty period of 2021 included grabbing my skates and getting to play some hockey on the rink at Braydon’s dad’s work. 

Braydon played goalie while Drew, Dyl, Matty Lew, Colin, Ben and I tested our endurance with long ass games of World Cup and a 2v2 tournament that I was completely out of shape for. 

Dyl & Matty Lew carried me to big victories. Ben got absolutely knobbed in the crease.

Big thanks to Braydon and his dad, who also came in the clutch with water bottles for us. That was prime.  

75. brutal - Olivia Rodrigo

My March Madness record is brutal - I mean, I haven’t won the bracket ever in my life. 

To be fair, our pool always has 20+ people in it all fighting for the glorious championship every year. 

It was a battle with crazy moments. Drew & Reeve finished last because a member of the Bragg extended clan has to take that spot every time. I always enjoy talking to Emily about her bracket, she’s one of the people who puts the most effort into it. 

Oral Roberts! (Yay Josh!). Alabama got taken out by UCLA in a thriller that smoked a few brackets (Josh sorry). Jalen Suggs hit a half-court buzzer beater to bring the Zags to the title game. On Sunday, also known as God’s Day, Sister Jean brought her wrath to take down Illinois and kill Christian & Kelly’s brackets among others. Not mine - easily one of my best picks of all-time. 

Colin and I got wiped out near the end as Houston laid an absolute egg. Jeremy thought he was in great shape but the Cuse got crushed. It came down to Samantha (Gonzaga) vs Kelsey (Baylor) and KBod took the title...with only a little help from Kyle :)

Ronan and Braydon still took home some money. Despite hating my life watching my teams get fucked constantly, you bet I’ll be back next March for more pain. 

74. Stop Making This Hurt - Bleachers

As I started coming out of Covid-19 hibernation more, the weather got a bit better too. I asked Covid-19 politely to stop making this hurt and it obliged a tiny bit. 

This led to a few nice fires in people’s backyards. 

Brenna had Ronan, Brian, Matias and I over for some party games & drinks. I think that was my first time trying CBD in pill-form (which has helped in a lot of ways including reducing anxiety). Hey Brian...get exposed. Wasn’t that NICE? 

Aaron had several of the boys over in his backyard with his fairly large firepit. I brought one of those Costco chairs with the big shell to sit in, because once I saw Mike Serra sit in it at Robson, it inspired me forever to be comfortable. 

At the end of the night, there was some discussion about golf and the upcoming scrambles. Will said hey we should go to the range soon - and that opened up a whole new can of worms for the summer ahead. 

73. U&ME - alt-J

I wanted zero part of the golf scrambles initially. Between you and me, I knew I’d suck ass at golf and it’d be a large learning curve, plus I didn’t want to really be made fun of after for how shit my swing was. 

Braydon, Mike and Will invited me out to Sandpiper to give me some tips and to give me a practice run. It went extremely poorly but, I was trying to listen a bit one step at a time and not get overwhelmed to what Braydon was saying. He is a good teacher. 

Then I got fixated on it. Mitch opened my eyes to swing it better even more, and I constantly hit the driving range with Matty Lew, Ronan, Mike Serra, Kelly, Ben and others as we all tried to get in shape for the scramble. I even strained my back and fought through it for some reason (don’t call me a hero). Ronan and I even hit up the Pitch & Putt. 

There were good days and really bad days. All in all though, it led to a lot of fun hangouts. Would all of that practice be worth it? Well...

72. transparent soul - WILLOW, Travis Barker

I got paired up with captain Braydon, Ben & Amy for the first scramble at The Ranch out by Acheson. Mike Serra, Kelly and I had talked strategy at a range session the night before - but we quickly figured out that none of it really mattered (especially myself). 

Despite arriving at the course feeling like a transparent soul, It was a pretty entertaining day of golf. I hit a few shots for our team (surprisingly) but overall we just had some drinks and each had our good moments. Ben especially hit an amazing chip to save par from the fringe. Amy went into a full British accent by hole ten. Braydon kept us in it, even though we tied for last. Matty Lew threw his club across hole 16. 

Afterwards, Mike Serra hosted a wicked party that felt like the first safer one of 2021 thanks to the first vaccine dose. It truly was a throwback to better times (and easily one of the best days of my year). Thanks Braydon for convincing me to come out and Mike for the effort put in to have us over. 

Drew, Christian and I’s trek home took days...weeks...a month? Lots of stops along the way. It was daylight by the time we got home. 

71. Casanova - Blake Rose

After that first scramble, I was feeling more confident in my golf game. However, my dad, Lorelei and her sister and I hit up Cardiff and that for sure didn’t help - it was a brutal round for me in the heat. The horseflies dominated the course. Still, it was really fun drinking Rock Creek around eighteen holes, and I’d gladly do it again once Lorelei’s foot is healed and the snow melts. 

For the next three scrambles, I went from the outhouse to being Casanova in the penthouse. 

Okay...not exactly. 

For each scramble, I got a bit worse and drank a bit more. After all - you have to contribute something to your team. Someone has to carry the party load. 

The overall standings told a different story. Josh, Matty Lew and Brian carried me to a title in scramble #2 at Cougar Creek (Josh’s driving, Matty’s irons and Brian’s amazing chip early kept us in sync). I fired a drive into an outhouse wall.

Colin, Braydon and Mike strategically came together to overcome my shitty driving in scramble #3 to keep it together. 

Somehow, partly because Josh dropped out, I had a chance to win the fabled Summer of Scrambles Cup for 2021. Thanks to Dyl, Drew & Amy, the championship was mine. Dyl hit literally every iron on green, Drew nailed his drives and Amy came in clutch when she was needed off the reds. I literally hit one putt and that was it. 

I wasn’t there for the ceremony. Unfortunately after my best drive of the day on hole #18, things got...blurry in the memory department. Thanks to Dyl, we found my putters though! Yes, two of them. Whoops. That last Vizzy was the killer Amy. 

But hey, they don’t ask how. They ask how many. I’ll be back in 2022 to defend my title. 

70. Life of the Party - Kanye West ft. Andre 3000

Other than golf, the “Best Summer Ever” had other moments. 

Taylor Thompson invited us to her dad’s new place. It was so small, it’s basically a tiny hut. Despicable. 

Just kidding. That place is ridiculous. Whether you’re in the massive basement with the TV in front of the sink or the backyard playing lawn games, it’s easy to be the life of the party in that environment. (RIP doorknob though). 

It was nice to see a bunch of people for the first time in a while. Fun fact: I hadn’t seen in Raphy in person since January until that day. He hugged everyone except me. Broke my heart, dick. 

I still had a good time even though I was pissed about the Duncan Keith rumours that came true later in worse fashion than I imagined. 

This is also where I met Chelseay - who unfortunately was paired with me for my worst game of pong since Colin and I suffered on the big Banff table. She’s pretty cool though - more on her later! 

There was also an animated discussion about sitting down or standing up to wipe your ass. So, that was a neat group talk. 

69. Get Better - alt-J

Matias and I heard that in an effort to get better, Fort Edmonton Park was opening a new exhibit highlighting the Indigenous history in Alberta. 

It was truly informative and well done. It’s probably the best part of Fort Ed now. We learned a lot about the Metis & First Nations history especially around Edmonton. One of the cooler things actually was all of the St. Albert history that was included. Hell, some younger Metis kids had a team called the Sturgeon River Rats. That’s sick. I want to steal that name. 

It’s more of a museum-type thing than the rest of the park and it truly stands out. Mati and I explored the rest of his old work stomping grounds while he put up with my awful jokes as usual. I’m still wondering what they are hiding in the basement of the John Janzen below the stairs. 

Well Mati, in honour of that day, here’s another one in reference to this point of the top 100:

“Nice” 

Also, this one is for the Hoe Squad. 

Horse. 

68. Someone Else - Deb Never

I won’t lie - I wanted someone else at the 2021 NHL Draft. 

I went over to Matt Mosewich’s place to watch a draft full of unpredictability - after all, many of the players barely played due to the pandemic. 

When the Sens took Tyler Boucher, I yelled woah off the board. 

When the Red Wings jumped in front of Edmonton to take Sebastian Cossa, we cried. 

When the Oilers passed on goalie Jesper Wallstedt for Xavier Bourgault after trading down, well....we were devastated. At least Bourgault has played himself onto the World Juniors squad for Canada. 

Nothing was crazier though than Montreal stepping up and selecting Logan Mailloux on live television. Logan had been involved in a breach of privacy sex scandal and asked teams not to pick him. So of course, the Habs picked him. I instantly got a text from someone in the hockey world that said “what the fuck Habs?” It was maybe the most shocking draft pick in my history with the NHL. He has yet to play a game this season. 

Matt and I are still stunned. 

67. Hush - The Marias

This song was actually sung by Maria Czyz. 

I have to stay hush on my big 24-team OSHL fantasy hockey league right now. It’s not going well. 

My draft went poorly and I ended up with a lot of fringe players. I do love Conor Garland, Nils Hoglander, Roman Josi and Timo Meier, among others, but my team stinks. 

I’m glad we still managed to pull off the draft though, especially after a big delay and people not shutting up when it mattered. Congrats to Dave on his new child. Mackenzie Blackwood, you’re killing me. Thanks to Cam and Blaine as always for managing to keep it all alive. 

66. Moth to a Flame - Swedish House Mafia, The Weeknd

A moth touching a flame would go badly. Pretty much as badly as my NFL fantasy season went in one of my leagues. 

A 3-11 season and a trip to the shit bowl to face Drew is on the horizon. Literally all my best players got hurt and Patrick Mahomes cost me too many times. No excuses though - I didn’t draft well enough. The title comes down to one of Josh or Raphy. Reeve and Braeden had a lot of trash talk, especially about Darrell Henderson, but fell short pretty fast. 

The other two leagues aren’t looking as bad, with me in the final in both. It’ll be great to battle my nemesis Wyatt in the final. Sorry Shaye, Dallas D had it on blast. It’s also be nice to get a shot at Declan in the other final, a TSN throwback. Yahoo predicted me to go 1-14 in that league and instead I finished 1st in the regular season. 

When it comes to NFL fantasy, you never know how your team will perform. It’s all in the heat of the moment. Boy does it make Sundays go by fast near the end of the year. 

Mike Serra is probably still trying to draft while we are all on auto. 

Drew also hosted once again for us, and Raphy brought so much beer. Jess was wondering why it was so quiet - IT’S SERIOUS BUSINESS. 

65. yoga - bbno$ ft. Rebecca Black

Over the course of the year, some of the other boys and I got involved in fantasy drafts across all leagues and a bunch of active Instagram chats where we throw in good memes and hot takes. 

Declan, Evan, Levi, Wyatt and myself all know each other from the Bell days. Teagan will try to rob you in a trade and sounds like a robot in a fish tank during the draft. Grayson, Brett, Ben, Eddie, Jake, Austin and Thomas are all the passionate kings who contribute to the conversation. 

Hall and Eichel for DeBrincat, what a steal. 

I won our baseball draft because my team was peaches and cream. Levi sure gave me a good run though. We need to do our big group extravaganza sooner than later. That’ll be a wild night. 

64. All My Favourite Songs - Weezer

Sometimes I take my list of all my favourite songs on Spotify and hit up a party or a Crown night...on a Lime scooter. 

St. Albert got Lime scooters all over the city and boy, they’re so helpful for getting around when you want to drink somewhere. 

I hate that they’ve been nerfed compared to their Edmonton counterparts, only going about 14 km/hr. But especially for Raphy and I, they change lives. Unfortunately, we learned they don’t fit in the trunk of the average car. We also have to wait for the spring to see them again probably, and I wish more were available in my area. 

Raphy and I tried to share one once. It was an unsuccessful attempt. 

“How’d you get here?” “Oh I Limed” “Me too!” 

I’ve yet to see someone use a helmet while riding one. 

63. NDA - Billie Eilish

Christian, Ronan, Raphy and I hit up Whyte Avenue for some board games and food one Saturday evening. Surprisingly, the Uber driver didn’t make us sign an NDA after telling us some interesting stories.

The driver used to live in Belize. He told us about how great and beautiful it was to live there...but also said he carried a gun everywhere and that someone from Calgary was beaten to death by the police while on vacation. So, that’s something you don’t expect to hear while taking corners on Groat Rd. 

But at least the sex is cheap! His words. 

We ate at Damso Izakaya, which was the perfect Japanese food experience with Sapporo on tap (one of my favourite beers honestly). The sushi was excellent. We then headed over to Table Top Cafe to get in a few rounds of Codenames and Coup. I’d never played Coup - but it was a good mental challenge of reading people. Christian couldn’t read my poker face. Can’t read my, can’t read my, no he can’t read my poker face. “Income!” - Raphy.

Ronan, Raphy and I hit up Buckingham for a bit afterwards, but that was a bit of a dud. Ronan I know you just laughed reading that. 

Shout out here to Mike’s Famous. You know the place on Whyte especially near the end of your night. How clutch is it that they’ve sold donairs there for years and deal with every asshole in the history of Edmonton? 

62. Spiral - 21 Savage

I recently had a super busy day where my ability to stay awake spiraled throughout, but we soldiered through. 

After a long 6am-2pm work shift on the board at good ol’ Corus, Kyle picked me up for some Ticket to Ride at Matt’s place with Connor joining the gang. It got competitive but I was just happy to fill my tickets in my first playthroughs. 

“I’m unfuckable.” - Kyle. The new Edmonton location of Jack’s Burger Shack provided some scrumptious eats. 

Connor drove me back to St. Albert for some Ugly Sweater Bowling with Aaron, Will, Amanda, Christian, Samantha, Mati, Rachel, Conrad and Mike Serra. I did not have an ugly Christmas sweater, so I bought a random green-looking sweater from Value Village for five bucks right before we started. Some dude complimented me at the alley because my taste is impeccable.

We drove to Boston Pizza after to discuss old children’s shows and Disneyland. That’s still a bucket list group trip for sure. Thanks for organizing Rachel! 

Matias dropped me at Crown to end the night with Drew, Braeden, Dyl, Ronan and Josh. “Wow, that family got bigger huh?” “Do you enjoy slides?” 

61. House Burn Down - King Princess

I felt like if I got sick, the house would burn down - but that’s not what happened. 

I had a minor non Covid-19 illness for a weekend and decided to dive into The Last of Us. 

Honestly...it’s a good game, but not a masterpiece. I’m sorry. Part of it is just because of when I played it - while it probably slapped in 2013, I’ve done a lot of sneaking mechanics in Wolfenstein and the zombie story has been done so many times that it just didn’t grab me emotionally as much as it did for others. 

Despite that, I still enjoyed it. The voice acting is awesome and I adore the clickers. I don’t own a PS4, but hoping to play Part II in 2022 if anyone wants to lend it to me or figure out a way we can hook me up to that experience. I’m also hoping to buy Guardians of the Galaxy, that game looks like it’ll serve the source material with justice like the movies did. 

Part of The Last of Us’ upcoming HBO show shot in Edmonton! Brenna got to see it right by her work. 

60. If You Ever Leave, I’m Coming With You - The Wombats

It had been a while since I last did an escape room. There was the one at Smartypantz, and the one that Ben and I just pelvic thrusted at the camera by the end. 

Christian, Raphy, Rachel, Samantha, Mike Serra and I hit up Escape City to try out Mutiny. I thought it’d be a lot harder for us but we made for a great team and all contributed in the bowels of the pirate ship for a successful run. 

Without spoiling, one part we all joked about ended up being actually what we had to do. That made us drop to the floor laughing (literally). 

We didn’t even get the last puzzle. I yelled “Fuck It” after guessing a map course, pulled a rope and somehow got it right. That 0.2 seconds was probably the happiest moment of my year. Complete bullshit in a good way. 

Afterwards, most of us hit up Watari. Raphy and I were going to Uber but the van leaving had room so...we’re coming with you!

My body was not prepared for Watari. All-you-can-eat Japanese food coming in waves. You’re supposed to finish in 1.5 hours, but we still attempted to shovel all the food we ordered down our gullets. We basically got booted out because a table of 17 were waiting for us. 

At one point, the waitress dropped a platter of like, 30 Chicken Gyozas on the table, and Sam said she’s never seen Christian look more scared in his life. We all started looking around the table. “Who ordered that shit?” - luckily none of us. We were about to explode. 

It was a wonderful day. We checked out a crazy Christmas decorated house before Raphy and I wrapped up with Sam at Christian’s house. I’ll easily take more of those types of days any time of the week. Poor Rachel had her peg leg blocked in the photo LOL. 

59. The Kiss of Venus - Dominic Fike, Paul McCartney

Speaking of Christian’s house, the outside gazebo in his backyard is so sick. What a pad. 

You can watch movies on the projector or just have a couple of brews with the boys like Ronan, Ben, Drew, Christian and I did in the summer. 

Christian also hosted a few great chill nights in the basement. He throws on a few tunes and it’s awesome to browse through his large collection of movies and find our favourite scenes. 

Sometimes, we even watch trailers. I tried to show Christian and Raphy a trailer for a new movie called Swan Song, with Mahershala Ali & Glenn Close. I hyped it up, saying WHAT A CAST! 

They instead found this little number: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=heN0JtJu4pE

I don’t know what the fuck that was, starring Uzo Aduba (not really, it’s Udo Kier but I butchered the name), but boy did that make us chuckle. I think we were there until 5am that night. Those nights are so underrated. 

Also Christian, that Kenny vs Spenny was so fucked. Better than Jason Kenney at least. That guy can kiss my ass. 

58. All Eyes On Me - Bo Burnham

All eyes were on Josh for his surprise party that Amy threw for him at her house. 

The eyes were also on the television as we witnessed one of the best boxing matches in history - Fury vs Wilder was an absolute monster showdown. A battle of warriors. Even some of us people on the other side of the television felt KO’d. 

Thunderstruck did a number on a few of us. Matty Lew got frisky on a few phone calls. Raphy caught me sneaking a Papa Johns pizza into my mouth on the front porch. Mason walked into his house at 3am to see a bunch of guys in his living room having a conference. 

Thanks for putting that together Amy! I always appreciate a fun hangout when it’s nice and close to my house. We still need to partner up in pong to do some damage. 

57. Take My Breath - The Weeknd

I didn’t have much breath left after most Balls Deep games this season.

It was a pleasure being able to play ball hockey once again. None of us really knew when we’d ever be allowed to. 

We don’t have many playoff wins plus zero titles, but we have a lot of fun while getting exercise and scoring some big goals. 

We have a fairly solid roster at the moment. Drew & Dyl both led the way with some big 5+ goal outings. I was never in the shape I wanted to be but still organize it all as captain (and of course, the Dave Tippett game).

Raphy is our best defender (and slams a stick real hard, that’s what she said). Ronan is our Warren Foegele and works hard every night, turning on the jets. 

Matty Lew comes up big in the crease as ESSC Leclaire. 

You do NOT want to go in the corner with Pam, she’ll fuck you up. Nat still scores often from the slot and despite her telling me to not pass it to her as much, I’m still going to do it. Kelsey brings us championship experience and even served as our captain for a game (as did Dyl, when the party van was just a wee bit late). Taylor Maton probably gets more whacks in the hand or blocks the hardest shots more than anyone else on the team. 

Brenna, Mike Serra, Christian (who is on a scoring streak) and Braydon came in clutch subbing in at times. We also got to meet up after the game for a few outings at Campio or Earl’s or OJs or Browns Crafthouse to load back up on fuel for the next week and bond as a squad. 

Erik would join us sometimes for those as his day started for the rise and grind. 

The team is preparing for the 2022 season working hard in the gym. (I say that as I go downstairs to grab another shortbread cookie.) 

RIP Sportsdome. 

56. Sexting - Bo Burnham

Yeah, there really is no way I can tie the song title into this point. I mean I can talk about E....you know what, Ronan and Raphy shut up. 

I’ll just mention in this point that I wrote some fantasy hockey advice for a bit for Fantrax. I’m taking a bit of a hiatus on that, but if you want to see an example of a column, I’ll link my NHL playoff fantasy column here from 2021. https://www.fantraxhq.com/fantrax-playoff-commissioner-nhl-playoff-pool-cheat-sheet/

It’s sick getting paid to write about the NHL. I’d be very down to do more of that. I also got Montreal right to win the North Division! Don’t pay attention to some of those other picks. 

As for that podcast? Well...I still want to get it off the ground. I even created an intro with the help of a few individuals. We’ll see what 2022 brings. At least Connor Halley, Cody Janzen and Hernan Salas invited me as a guest on their respective podcasts. Here is an example of one of those: https://megaphone.link/HOC4377584956

55. Hello - Hollow Coves

Raphy and I got to say a big hello to Dallas Green once again as we saw City & Colour at the Jubilee, the first concert I had seen since the start of the pandemic. 

Dallas was amazing as usual. The highlights included The Grace (one of my favourite Dallas Green vocal performances ever) and an acoustic performance of This Could Be Anywhere In The World by Alexisonfire. 

Sleeping Sickness & Lover Come Back also slapped - but the audio was a bit tainted by my garbage singing so, not posting that video. 

Spencer Burton isn’t a bitch. Great guy and he had a good song in that set. 

Other than some members of the crowd forgetting basic social etiquette, it was a great performance. Thanks for the birthday gift Raphy - we almost forgot about the damn thing, but it was great being able to catch his show before his entire touring party caught Covid-19. We also ate BURGERS IN THE CAR, BRIAN. 

Also, I know you added songs from my top 85 to your damn playlist ahead of time. Including this one. Come on Raphy. Exposed. 

54. Close To You - Dayglow

It might be hard to get close to one another if more restrictions pile in with Omicron destroying the province. 

At least we snuck in a tour and a hangout of Colin and Taylor’s new apartment in Edmonton before the buzzer. 

The heated floor is nice during the cold Alberta winters and because it’s Taylor’s place, it’s no surprise to see Disney in the cupboards and all around the Christmas tree. 

We watched the Oilers lose to Ethan Bear (of course) and then Raphy, Ronan, Colin, Taylor, Dyl, Matty Lew, Braydon, Conor O’Kell and I played a card game while rotating the Lazy Susan around. 

“What did the shepherd surprisingly whisper to his sheep?” 

“I’m hungry like a wolf” 

We got down and dirty with our answers. Dyl really brought the high-brow jokes to the table. 

Thanks Colin and Taylor for hosting. You have a cool new place that I hope is the home of a poker night in the near future. That table just needs the felt.

It was a fun night and nobody sucked. 

That’s what she said. 

53. All You Ever Wanted - Rag ‘n’ Bone Man

I got all I ever could want from a 25th birthday. 

Christian, Raphy and I hit up Original Joe’s for some drinks - not knowing how crazy everything was about to get. 

After being joined briefly by Jordan and Aaron for a cameo, all of a sudden a plan started to form - hitting up Mercer’s Tavern to get lit. 

Alex A, Ronan, Drew & Amy met Raphy, Christian and I at Drew’s place for a pre-drink. After an Uber ride with Drew and Christian where we talked about “science” - we landed at Mercer where Brian (in his U of A hoodie), Matias, Jordan, Aaron, Brenna, Jess and Dyl all ended up making appearances. We made moves on the dancefloor or in my case, chilled on those couches in there because I was faded. I have a picture with Amy’s sunglasses on that I barely remember. The DJ was...not good but we battled. Someone slapped my ass. 

I’m not very good at making plans for my birthday - so a big thanks to everyone who made at least something memorable happen. Also thanks to Alex, Brenna and Amy for the shots, I owe you. 

If this night was a pirate ship, it’d be called The Bearded Lady. 

RIP Mercer Tavern. Hopefully the new bar going in is just as good. 

52. Selfish - Jack Gray

When Jason Kenney said that outdoor gatherings would be allowed in June, I selfishly started thinking internally of people’s backyards and who could host a good time. 

I can’t lie - Jamie Cole’s backyard came to mind first. So, I was pretty grateful that Jamie did indeed host a shindig. 

The boys argued about which golf courses slapped and which ones could be skipped. After all, the Olympics were on live from Tokyo at 1am. 

“Ravencrest? That has a mosquito problem.” 

“Well then Sturgeon has an ant problem then.” 

“Cardiff has horseflies. Yeah I hate Cardiff.” 

Every time we are in that sunroom, someone just has to bring up who is the best centre ever in the NBA. 

I also had a great chat with Lukas in the kitchen about skydiving & adventuring. That was neat. 

Thanks for hosting Jamie. Jamie studies veterinary medicine at the University of Calgary and those animals are getting one hell of a caring doctor. 

51. deja vu - Olivia Rodrigo

Boy, I was pretty shocked when Christian texted me and said “You know what, I’m throwing a party.” 

After all, Christian’s basement used to be THE hub. However, he hadn’t really done that in years. Understandable - throwing these can be a real pain in the ass. 

But alas, the night finally came. It also went by SO fast. Ben, Erik, Christian and I had a shot and then things got fuzzy. The party started super late which helped speed everything up, I think. It was deja vu to the old days. 

Lots of pong, both in the backyard and outside. I went on some drunk uncle political rant in the living room but people DIDN’T hate it, I think. I annoyed Anna, as usual. It was great to see a lot of people though, especially because times are fewer with Covid-19 in doing so. I think I even said to Larissa “see you next year!” as she left out the front door. (She lives in Calgary TO BE FAIR)

Thanks Christian for throwing things back to another time period and for navigating the planning waters when I threw a wrench into it. Kelsey and I played the longest game of pong in history. 

Hell, even Braydon had a shot. That is rare. 

50. Run It - Rick Ross, Rich Brian, DJ Snake

Oh, we absolutely ran the show at Buckingham for Drew’s birthday. 

After a quick pre-drink at Drew’s pad, the rest of the night was a LOT of dancing. Their playlist is awesome...to me...it’s a controversial topic depending on who you ask. 

Ben bought me a shot of Jamieson, which was clutch and started the real send-it period. Chelseay, Jess, Alex and Megan brought their A-game on the dancefloor. Ronan showed off to the boys. Conor always rocks that grey toque. Dyl kept unbuttoning my shirt. Raphy came in clutch with the Uber at the end of the night. 

Rest in peace to Lew’s night, which was lost to a donair. Man had to eat. 

I petition that every bar has to play I Write Sins Not Tragedies at some point of the evening once a month, minimum. I also took a bunch of pictures for random people (ya ya Ronan it wasn’t THAT close). 

Also rest in peace to my back, which got scratched trying to evade a group of people on the stage and catching the big window door. Also weird - that massive Congo line to La Bamba once the lights turned on. In honour of Joey, pretty cool. 

49. Shy Away - Twenty One Pilots

Brenna, Raphy and I decided we weren’t going to shy away from Halloween festivities on Whyte Avenue this year. 

I’ve never gone to Whyte on Halloween weekend, but always heard it’s a gongshow. That was probably accurate. Some of the lines to get into places were ridiculous (right Aaron?)

Luckily, there was no line at Black Dog - which has a solid rap music basement dancefloor. It also featured an awesome Team Rocket costume duo. 

We then made it into Buckingham (do you see a theme here?) where there was a smashed pumpkin all over the dancefloor. 1979 baby. 

We met Stephanie, Dani and Sean and hung out with them for a bit afterwards. Sean was digging the Ducky Tie costume - I love my How I Met Your Mother references. 

Despite the craziness, it was loads of fun. Brenna also is clutch on drinking nights - a very helpful wingwoman.

I won’t lie - if you tell me Jesus is King is the best Kanye West album, you’re crazy. Just saying. 

48. MONTERO (Call Me By Your Name) - Lil Nas X

I call my dog by her name, Xena. 

Xena is small, scruffy and loves to play - especially with her new toy Pop Tart. 

She’s just a really funny dog. Xena loves to jump all over me when I come home and chases me around the house. We also got her a tennis ball launcher for firing upstairs and in the backyard. 

She won’t replace Kosmo, except in volume. But we love her in her own way. Go Xena Go! 

She’ll never read this. 

47. End of Me - Billy Talent, Rivers Cuomo

I crashed the Honda FIt, but it wasn’t the end of me and cars. Finally.

I recently bought a 2012 Honda Civic - the first car I’ve owned since my accident. Amber wants me to name it, but I haven’t done so yet. 

It’s weird owning a car - so many of you have given me a ride somewhere before that it may be odd seeing me driving around too. It’s not perfect aesthetically or anything, it’s just a solid grey Honda vehicle that I can eat burgers in. Raphy, Josh, Ronan and I did already, got you again Brian!

I’m very excited to take it on a road trip this summer. To Banff? I think so. 

46. Addicted - Jorja Smith

I would be addicted to traveling if I had unlimited cash. Despite Covid, I got lucky to be able to go on a bigger trip this year. 

Matty Lew and I hit up Kelowna for a few days. It was right as shit was hitting the fan in Alberta with the Delta variant, so we needed to get away. 

As Matt said it: “We got here in a tin can.” - We had a solid hotel room right across from the airport. We basically had a pool and a hot tub all to ourselves. On our first day, we took a trip to the kangaroo farm. 

Being able to pet and feed a kangaroo popcorn satisfied the cute factor for me. We also got to pet a big capybara, which is basically a mega large hamster. Well worth the admission. The wallabies are cute too. 

Some weird stuff? Well, the emus are creepy. One goat just humped another in front of a bunch of people, so that was lovely. 

We met up with Mitch after at BNA for some pizza and beer. We also ate lunch at a place Mitch suggested called the Mad Mango Café. They had a huge menu of everything but specialized in Laksa. Delicious (and usually I’m not one for spice), and the proof was that everyone else in the café was also eating it. Grand choice. 

45. Bite Me - Avril Lavigne

Shout out to Sarah Fox, who sent me this song early in the morning. I then replayed it for hours that day. 

On day two of Kelowna, Matt and I got bit by the nature bug and hit up the Myra Canyon railway trestles. You’re fairly high up, biking over big gaps in the hills, tall railroad bridges and through carved tunnels. 

You get an amazing view of the city of Kelowna throughout. It was probably the highlight of the trip. 

Later in the night, Mitch, Matt and I got invited to Liquid Zoo by our waitress. What’s Liquid Zoo you may ask? 

It’s exactly what you think. We didn’t attend. 

44. Back to Oz - Sufjan Stevens

BC felt like the land of Oz when we rolled through hills on our left and Okanagan Lake on our right as we drove to Vernon. 

Matt and I hit up an orchard farm and bought way too much food. A full apple pie, a box of cookies that I finished on the drive back regrettably. Apple juice. We also visited a bee farm and bought MEAD. MEAD! 

There also a homestyle barbecue place that knew how to cook a brisket. 

At night, we competed at mini golf at Scandia. Matt won. Now, this is totally a nerd moment for me, but I had just watched an episode of Yesterworld on YouTube about Chuck-E-Cheese vs Showbiz Pizza Place and the battle of the creepy 80s animatronics. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7HXTwLbvQPM

The rival to the Chuck-E-Cheese animatronics was The Rock-afire Explosion. So I was STUNNED to see a version of them just sitting at Scandia behind the curtain. It is the creepiest thing ever as you’ll see in the photo below. Note: The TV in the picture was also flickering and it was dark back there. 

Also, after a casino run & a few brews at an Irish bar with live music, Matt and I facetimed the ESPN News Desk. Ronan and Drew loved the line: 

“Hey you have to send it tomorrow.” “I’m aware.” 

PISS!

43. Romeo - Jungle ft. Bas

We didn’t hike to Romeo’s tomb - but Paul’s Tomb is a neat hidden gem of an area on the outskirts of downtown Kelowna. 

Matt and I trekked down there for a “swim” - although the water was damn cold so it was more of a waddle. 

We also tried some goat cheese. It was gouda. But it actually wasn’t. 

At night, the two of us took our talents to the town. After Matt had a journey with some onion rings, we ended up meeting a bunch of different locals. CRAFT brought some interesting discussions, especially right before we left...

At some point, I hopped a fence onto the beach and then proceeded to climb it over again. Matt knew at that point that I probably needed to go back to the hotel. 

We did take some fun pictures in front of that statue though. 

42. The Walls Are Way Too Thin - Holly Humberstone

On the last day of Kelowna, I visited the Vibrant Vine winery - it was a very “hippie” like establishment with 3D art and live music in the outside yard. They feed you A LOT of wine - but I drove, so I bought a bottle and brought it back to the room. 

Matt and I chilled out and drank while watching Casino Royale - which is the best Bond film, I may add. 

I hope the walls weren’t thin because Matt and I made a shit ton of jokes every night. I laughed extremely hard and was probably a nuisance. Especially while listening to the music channels. 

Overall, it was a great trip to British Columbia. Just don’t wave to the bus driver when he’s about to leave. He’ll ignore you. Right Matt? 

You've got to know when to hold 'em...

41. Bed Head - Manchester Orchestra

(Hey Sam! It’s this band! I wrote this point at Christian’s house and he said it was a shit band.)

I usually have bed head before a big trip because I never sleep well before one. There’s lots of researching, Googling, overthinking and overall desire to be as prepared as possible to not miss anything special away from St. Albert’s home base. 

In 2022, I’m looking at several places to potentially go...as long as another virus doesn’t fuck us. 

In Banff, I’d love to hike Sunshine Meadows & finally check out Peyto Lake. 

In Whistler, I’d love to party hard at night and check out the bobsleigh track for a few runs. 

In Victoria & Tofino, I want to run my feet across the sandy beaches and check out the ports. 

I even have some interest in visiting Seattle as well as exploring the little islands and parks that surround Washington. 

Last but not least, if a big-time opportunity arises for a trip to Disneyland or Vegas, depending on who it is with, I will grin from ear-to-ear. 

40. Go Wrong - Hauskey

Sometimes in life, things just go wrong. We all hope for the best, but challenges await us at every corner. 

It was quite cool when some of the boys got together to find Teemu Selanne to give a message to one of our friends going through their own challenge. 

Selanne is a beauty. Big thanks for taking the time to send some positive vibes. 

Also - unrelated, but I am glad you took Igor Shesterkin in your draft last year over Mikko Koskinen. That was the right move Colin. Every time. 

39. KD & Lunch Meat - Boy Golden

James hasn’t made the boys any KD and lunch meat yet at his new place in Morinville. 

We did order some Chinese food though. It was aight. 

James had a massive year. He made the absolute right call in acquiring a RAV-4 for his jeep. Jill and James also adopted a new friendly dog named Toby. Toby loves jumping on tables, especially when we are in the middle of a card game. He does bring a lot of love. 

James’ basement is also pretty sick. It’s the perfect pad to play some Halo or watch a few episodes of The Office. It seems soundproof and could absolutely host a banger. He did, in fact, after our 2nd scramble. We played Honeycomb down there and Drew had a real rough go. In fact, he pussied out and didn’t finish the cup. (Although he was in trouble)

James has his life in order. Funny exchange between him and Jill when Kelly and I were over for games night: 

James: “Hey can you pick up some chips from the station?”

Jill: “No”

James: “Thanks!” 

Someone go claim that box of Tit Tees that are sitting by his furnace. 

38. Rockland - Gracie Abrams

Rockland was not the site of the “final” hangout between Evan, James, Kelly and I. 

I say final because Evan left us behind in Berta after this. Traitor! 

James’ house hosted us and it didn’t really hit that it was the end of an era until the four of us went up the steps from the basement. 

The four of us have played so much Smash Bros. in Evan’s basement. Tons of Bayonetta, Little Mac, Ganondorf & ...random character. Countless Halo rocket battles, energy sword “cleaning up the garbage” kills, and spike grenade sticks because Evan said nobody uses those and I made it my personal vendetta to stick him with one every night. 

Jackbox battles where James goes hard in the paint with a creative answer. Then James would...ahem...send a fun snap after. 

We even shot real guns once. 

I remember having a suit on from NAIT and sliding into Kelly’s basement, meeting the three of them exhausted from my day and glad to be hanging out with the boys. That was five years ago. 

Until next time. 

37. Colorado - Milky Chance

I once lived in Colorado, in a hamlet called Erie, which is near Denver. I’ve told people this many times, but it seems to surprise somebody every time. 

Last year, I took a job at 630 CHED that involved part-time technical producing and I didn’t think it would go anywhere. 

Everything changed. 

In case you wonder what I do for work, I reach out to people all over the world and book them for multiple radio shows across the Corus Radio Network. I work with hosts to create the best show possible for people to engage with. Since May, I’ve worked on every show on 630 CHED, several shows on 770 CHQR in Calgary, a few in Vancouver for CKNW & some shows that broadcast nationally in Canada, such as the post-debate special. I’m a show producer - which is a nice title that makes me sound like I have a tiny bit of power. 

I enjoy it quite a bit, especially since most of it has been from home. You meet a lot of smart, accomplished people with great stories to tell and information to spread. The hosts are all easy to work with in their own way. I have to give a big thanks to Kelsey Campbell for the opportunity to show I can be a valuable member of a team in media. It’s nice to have an important role. 

I still produce technically on the board sometimes. I produced a few Edmonton Elks games this season. It’s just not my cup of tea if it doesn’t come with airtime or has bad hours. Luckily, that role may be reduced for me a bit in 2022. 

36. Keel Timing - Manchester Orchestra

Even though I’ve shifted into politics a lot, I still miss sports. The timing to be in sports radio just hasn’t worked out for me too much lately. 

I still got to produce a few shows of Inside Sports with Reid Wilkins, joining him on air once. 

I do miss the boys at TSN 1260 though. Who knows Connor, Matt, Eric, Hernan, Lowetide, Dave, Dusty...maybe again someday. I know too much about the sports world for my voice to not be out there on it. 

While not sports, one of the few on-air shows I still partake in is called The Shift. It’s an overnight national show that plays in multiple cities, including Edmonton. You have to write the show like it’s TV - there are daily segments that need scripts. 

If you have never listened, here’s a show podcast with parts that I was on air for. https://omny.fm/shows/the-shift/did-you-know-in-toronto-cyclists-can-get-speeding 

There are some gaps when doing that show because the host Shane is in Airdrie, Brendan is in Vancouver and I’m in St. Albert or Edmonton. Eric, who hosted in that clip, is also in Vancouver. Technology rules. 

It’s nice having a job with so much variety. It allows for your brain to always tackle a new challenge. I look forward to seeing what the hell I do next. More sports podcasting? Would be nice. 

When you hit this part during the road trip on speech-to-text, remember that next time you should just ask me to voice it. That’s my job! 

35. Echoing - Kings of Leon

If you are technical producing and there is an echo sound coming from the phone line, it’s likely an old lady who doesn’t know how to turn her radio down. The Garden Show is one of our busiest and...that happens a lot. 

Sarah has seen this plenty of times. 

I haven’t been able to meet everyone at 630 CHED on a daily basis, but Sarah was someone I knew from the Bell Media days. She produces the morning show and Shaye Ganam’s show weekdays. Not only is Sarah excellent at her job, but she also makes producing the morning show a lot more fun with her jokes & stories, even if we’re just texting back and forth about random quirks in the broadcast. 

Also, Fox is one of the coolest possible last names. Only the coolest people can pull off blue hair, or purple hair, or whatever colour is next. 

It’s also been nice to work with hosts like Daryl, Shaye, Ted, J’lyn, Shane, Eric, Scott, Martin, Morley, Reid, Dave, Rob and Chelsea, who is now a mother of a little girl, Layla. Congrats Chelsea! Sorry I didn’t catch you at Crown, but I’m sure I’ll produce for you soon. 

Brad, Chris, Cass, Demi, Ryan, Talia, Brendan, David, Randy, Eileen, Andrew, John, Mike, Cody, Angie, Kellen, Escott of course and many others I didn’t list here - thanks for your continued help as I navigate a new part of the industry. 

Also, a big thanks to Chris Weihmann, who listened to all my shit at Bell and is still my partner in crime when it comes to radio. You can hear Chris’ voice in TV ads for James H. Brown and HeartFit - even though that was also news to him. I wouldn’t be here without that guy. Can we go have lunch together man? It’s been way too long. I need to share more radio conspiracy theories as soon as possible. 

34. justified - Kacey Musgraves

I wanted to bring up a few people here who are definitely justified in getting a shout out. 

Dyl destroyed Matty Lew at Chell last night, way to go, even got the spread. Thorsley joined our fantasy league finally, don’t call it a comeback. 

Justin graduated film school with a diploma, and is now working on his directorial debut. That’s very sick. This guy is making a movie in 2022 and you’re damn right it’ll be spectacular. Very much looking forward to what Justin will bring to the screen. 

Scott bought the coolest Japanese import vehicle and I’m jealous. A 2006 JDM Honda Odyssey, a beast. Just don’t leave the parking brake on. He also got closest to the pin on 17 and makes Best Buy his personal bitch.

Desmond, Damian and the gang still have to watch the Oilers...haha. Remember H.O.P.E? Yeah. Desmond, you should buy a Koskinen jersey. 

Hank grew maybe the best beard of all-time. It was such a ship captain look. Like, you’d look at Hank and go “this guy navigates water bro” - which I mean, true. Hank still watches Little Mosque on the Prairie on DVD probably, right?

I still get to cameo on Bernard’s shows in BC - congrats on getting to do some morning show work!

I will force Will today to listen to one of these songs, which will be his first glimpse into music beyond 1980. 

Jieco hit up Whitecourt and scouted out the land for me. Unfortunately, it didn’t end up mattering, but I still miss you man. 

Dwayne got in with the La Ronge Ice Wolves doing play-by-play. It’s never a dull moment talking sports with you. Especially those hot, hot takes. The Bucks won, what are you going to do now? 

Eve does the Lord’s work and makes sure that kids watch Arthur and remember the quality kids programming that kept us alive. Rachel joined on this valiant effort too. 

Rufus, woof woof woof woof.

Larissa + Nishaka, glad to hear you’re doing great. I’m still waiting to see your research project on if you can taste the salt when you dunk your balls in soy sauce. 

Nick + Lana is an extremely cool tandem - I didn’t realize until Christian’s party that Nick is a fucking tall guy. Lana didn’t get annoyed with me at Smash Bros night which is lovely and maybe a first. Nick won that right? I can’t use the damn controller like that. 

Erik joined THE FORCE. He is a man of great honour and integrity. I also would 100% pay to see him pull Drew over. 

Montana and Tyler became big stars at Global Saskatoon and Daily Faceoff respectively. I get it, you’re kind of a big deal, but Nathan MacKinnon? What a bum to have to interview. Montana even helped me book a guest indirectly. Kat also joined the Now Family, which is tubular. Ian moved to Calgary and Mariah keeps the Virgin bandwagon alive but also gets to do national shit now, which is freaking sweet. Hannah is rocking it now that she’s moved to Windsor - I’m pretty sure I watch every Cheap Wine Wednesday and Bodacious is clearly the best. 

Tony keeps killing it for the Oilers. Terry finally had his wedding, congrats good sir! Hutlet filmed and edited a commercial that made it to Sportsnet, which although impressive, just isn’t as good as The Deal. 

Nash, Tanner, Teagan - just shouting you out cause I know you’re reading this shit. Hope you’re all doing well gents. Tesla, I hope you’ve felt at ease enough during these tougher times. Your positive vibes is something I dearly miss. Kelsey Shapka, same to you. Keep thinking positive, and give me a bath bomb recommendation, for my mom as a gift! Katherine, I still love the pictures of Heidi, Heidi should be a dog model.

Tyson, I am pro-beard. I think it looks mature on you.  

Craig, I like our exchanges on the Twitter - but the Leafs are probably losing in round one again. Or maybe round two!

Dayn, I totally agreed with you on the new AB curriculum. I wish they had you go in there and help them take out all the bullshit trash, especially in Social, LA and Science. 

Darren, I see you with my 20/20 vision. :) 

Christyne lived in England for a bunch of this year! She’s back now to freezing cold uncultured Edmonton (I mean, welcome back!) but I am very curious to see if she brought an accent home. 

Shane Clausing had one of his questions make it through to Jason Kenney and it was a good one about, justifiably, how fucked Grand Prairie was for Covid-19. Shane also had one of dreams come true - Big Ben retiring. Just, first a wasted season. 

Lt. Eric + Dani, two extremely cool people who hit up Roughrider games and are fun to have a drink with. Eric though...please stop making me hungry with those damn barbecue IG stories.

Matt Iwanyk, still love talking Oilers and Elks with you and yes, my phone is still cracked.

My Uncle Jav keeps trucking on the weights. I wish I had that kind of discipline working out. Brady...oh man, the Leafs. Are they ever gonna win? Come on. Jason Roberts - I hear your show often driving to CHED and back. It’s great to hear your voice and talents in Edmonton. Amy, thanks to you and your mom for fighting the most important pandemic battles. Lucyk, those damn Eagles...best of luck. Is Hurts the guy? Aiden, you might actually beat me in the pool this year. Tavares is on fire. 

Hello Auntie Linda and Uncle Mike! We should REALLY get the band back together when everything is safe. I feel like I’ve said it more than a few times, but let’s put this into action. Nico, be there too, it’s been too long.

As I was saying at Central, Wallstedt was the pick Brett. Congrats on making it to the ECHL, once a Cyclone, always a Cyclone. Josh, you’re going to continue nailing it for the Oil Kings and I hope to see your videos during Oilers games more often. 

I could go on and on, but if I haven’t talked to you in a while, feel free to reach out. There are a lot of people I wonder about and then get a bit chickenshit to text up. So it’s a two-way street. But still, feel free. 

33. DITTO - Aries

Ditto from above, but this time, shouting out people who got engaged. I’m getting so old, so many more people I know are getting engaged!

Nate, congrats buddy. Isn’t it weird that so many of our class ended up at Bell? Geez.

Sam Saunders, big congrats to you my man. It’s been a while but always enjoy talking to you. 

Brady...my man. Early Happy Birthday and really couldn’t be happier for one of the nicest guys on the planet. 

Tyler...I still credit you for turning around my life a bit so many years ago with our talk in the upstairs of the RockRidge main cabin. Big congrats man. 

Keirra, seeing that was pretty awesome. Best of wishes to Nick and yourself, sounds like the best times are just beginning. 

Nat and Garrett - it’s been a long and winding road Nat. You had to fight through a lot to get to this point. I’m really glad to see you happy. Garrett is a super nice dude and I hope the summer of 2022 is euphoric bliss.

Last but not least - Mike and Andrea. FINALLY! JESUS! 

Haha but actually, every soul in St. Albert were hoping for that to finally happen and it’s great that you two still find great passion in each other so many years later. It’s what many couple should aspire for. So, massive congrats to the both of you. 

Mike, maybe you guys can drive that Warthog into the sunset. Andrea, I know you’re big on English with the new curriculum and all, but, is there any way this can make it into the vows? It’s not quite English. https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=me%20hoy%20minoy

32. One + One - Death from Above 1979

Lilly is now EIGHT years old! I did the math - one + one + one + one + one + one + one + one. 

I’ve been trying to hype my little sister on Donkey Kong December and now she has a Nintendo Switch, which is very good for the whole family. Thanks Santa! 

Grade 3. Time flies so fast. Nobody sings better karaoke and I think we have a future artist on our hands here too. 

When you start making YouTube videos Lilly, I want to be a fun side character. Might still be a few years away. For now, train up on Mario Kart, because I’m ready to compete. 

Lilly is so full of joy always. We could take a lesson from her on living life in the moment. She also gave me a Dominik Kahun card and is smart enough to know her Leon Draisaitl card is valuable. Rock on. 

31. Boilermaker - Royal Blood

This song is for two absolute dogs.

Wyatt took a huge step in his broadcasting career this year and joined the Whitecourt Wolverines as the play-by-play man and jokester supreme. Wyatt also sent me potentially the greatest photo of all-time. Hot...or Hot? It’s annoying that your Ducks drafted well. Please don’t unleash Jonathan Taylor to destroy my ass. You’ve had to battle adversity this year and I’m sure it wasn’t easy. If there’s someone who can find the humour through all of the bad shit and persevere, it’s you man. I see your career on the up-and-up in 2022 and yes, let’s do a damn podcast. 

Levi just lost like, 400 bucks at the hands of the Edmonton Oilers, so rest in peace to his wallet. But hey, Alain Vigneault got the boot, that’s a big W on the year. If Carter Fart is back, I quit. You were the closest to taking down the team of cream. Jesus Christ, Levi is one of the people that makes me laugh the easiest. “I bet that guy barks when he makes love” I love all of our sports chats, old street team references and the devotion to the church of Rasmus Ristolainen. We need to get buzzing here, maybe a trip to Mars next year. That’d be the play brother. 

30. Jail - Kanye West

Man, this would have been a banger at a Josh house party. It played in the basement of Black Dog and it was fantastic. 

Speaking of Josh, I’d be in jail if every joke I made to that guy made it public. I can get so savage around him. Partly because Josh just has a great laugh. RIP Harambe baby. Remember when they didn’t use Grealish in the shootout? Southgate absolutely tripping on acid while betting for Italy on Bodog. Josh also listens to all of my fantasy rumblings that end up absolutely wrong, except on Henderson, who he wisely traded away. 

I feel like I got closer to Amy this year, and not just because of a few good burgers. We shared some good talks and laughs. I’m glad you made it out to the island and had sympathy for me when I was losing a shit ton of money for the Super Bowl. You made it through some heavy bumps in the road that life handed you - and your reward will be an amazing 2022. Also, the sunglasses at Mercer really made me look stylish and definitely hid the fact I was blitzed. 

Cheers to both of you! Wild two years eh?

29. Rocky - Still Woozy

Even when things get a bit rocky, Gabby is always looking ahead to what’s next and working hard to achieve her goals. 

She’s extremely smart and magically got her cat to pose for album cover of the year. Your hotel vacation sounded so luxurious - they really should do that for you more than once a year! 

Nobody is more excited to start 2022 with online classes. Maybe eventually the weather will finally calm down and give you a chance to skate again? 

We’ve had so many wonderful chats that go in depth on any topic. Hoping the new year is the fresh start that kickstarts good feelings and kills any toxicity. I’m glad Ottawa was fun - the East is calling your name for more adventures I think! 

See you at the Stampede this summer. 100%.

28. Hope - Arlo Parks

Brooke, I feel like you give a lot of people hope.

“Wait why?” is what you may be thinking but hear me out: It’s inspiring seeing an awesome person also able to experience some of life’s greatest treasures. 

Which for you is a new child! AAHH BROOKE IS GOING TO BE A MOM!!!

Brooke’s child is going to be indoctrinated into the Disney fandom which is also exxxccceeellleennnttt (evil laugh).

Seriously though, that child will have more Disney stuffies than a World of Disney store. The Steamboat Willie one made me smile. It’ll be such a treat when you get to take your kid to Disneyland for the first time. What a fairytale. 

Maybe it’ll be a road trip. After all, nothing is more California than driving that hippie van out with the ocean beside you. The Sturgeon River will do for now. 

Congrats to you and Brett. That’s so cool. Probably worth a new Wilderness Explorer badge, I’d say. 

27. Wet Dream - Wet Leg

Amber, this song is super inappropriate but also a bop so, it just made too much sense to fit your vibe. 

Maybe someone should tell that nun about this track. 

You know what they say: 

Once a panini, always a panini.

KERMIT MODE.

Amber is going to help me get my Bachelors Degree in Liquor Consumption in Banff in a week or so. She’s in Washington so, not sure when she’ll read this. The cats are probably eating humans right now but that’s okay. Gizmo peed on Jordan’s leg. 

I’m glad your liver survived slo-pitch and that you didn’t tear your ACL skiing this year. We should probably invite Allie and some goblins for a darty this summer. I hope you crush 2022 and we get to hang out more. It’s always a hoot joining into Amber’s antics. But in the meantime...

Look at this hot piece of ass below. #Daddy

26. That’s Life - Still Woozy

Life hasn’t been the nicest to my sister lately. 

Kaitlin though is a fighter - and she doesn’t let any of it hold her back. She just got straight As in school despite all of the shit thrown at her. 

I very much enjoyed her crazy filters with Lilly, especially the train. WOAAAAHH - Lilly. That was so funny. 

Kaitlin will be one of the cool librarians who will make you want to sneak out of class to learn about how to make a robot or turn a picture of Rick & Morty into a neat artistic keychain. 

Wishing you and Mike the best for 2022. “Fist bumps Mike”. I’m hoping you and mom win at bingo and take me back to Anaheim. 

Also, can we cheer about Caillou dying this year? About time. 

25. Duo - Sam Gellaitry

I’ll tell you about two awesome duos. A duo of duos. 

My grandma and grandpa are just the most wonderful people. I think I get a lot of my drive to fight through adversity from my grandma. My grandpa is where I get a lot of my compassion and sense of humour. 

My grandma also made sure that I remembered to EAT. My grandpa told me the story about the Hand and I never forgot. 

My Uncle Greg & Kim are also a great duo. My Uncle Greg has already helped me so much in the last few days with my car in the cold weather. He’s always willing to lend a hand and teach you something. Kim has the best laugh and smile - thanks again for the cupcakes! MMMMM

I’m so fortunate to have great family to turn to. Grandma, you should have stolen the coffee maker LOL. I love you all. 

24. Your Power - Billie Eilish

Drew has the power to annoy the hell out of me but also make me cry laughing only seconds later. 

He’ll probably beat me in the Shit Bowl and never shut up about it. His team after all is apparently the best even though he’s playing me. 

Nobody fights me on points more in the ESPN News Desk than Drew but also he’ll defend me to the death if someone tries to shit on me. 

Drew and Jess welcomed a new puppy, Henry, to the stable...which is good because Drew needed a doghouse for which to stay from time to time. 

Remember when Bob dropped 45 on the table and just left? 

Nobody can mix it up quite like Drew. Hope you liked those Skip orders. 

23. Sun Goes Down - Lil Nas X

“From the afterlife” 

It doesn’t matter if the sun is just going down or rising - I can expect a phone call from Jordan at any time of the day. Since he switched from Freedom, it doesn’t drop every time anymore either. 

Right about now, the funk soul brother, check it out now, the funk soul brother. 

Remember the putting course? 

“Well did you want me to get him for free?”

THE OILERS!

Oilers sign Richard Park. 

Jordan usually finds a way to make me laugh or provides a new perspective on something I hadn’t thought of. He just bought a new Dodge Ram that he can take on trips to Vancouver Island in the future. We usually go into long conversations about how bad Edmonton’s situation really is. 

Jordan is also the Scandia mini golf champion after a clutch hole-in-one. 

Nobody gets into weirder or funnier situations than Jordan. Maybe Rufus. 

22. The Bottom - Gracie Abrams

Hey Kelsey, you feeling 22??????

Well, there is no Taylor Swift so, you get a song that kind of sounds like Taylor Swift. 

Kelsey took risks this year and they paid off for her. I’m proud of Kels, that you took a lot of steps in your life to make yourself a happier and more fulfilled individual. 

DONDA DONDA DONDA - yeah the chant didn’t make this list either lol. 

Kelsey is an ESSC champion and a March Madness bracket winner. I would be lying if I didn’t say I was a little jealous. Kels also picked up where I left off with the food challenges and instead did Oat Milk Latte reviews. Did they have good oat milk lattes in Hawaii? 

I think this is a good track for you too Rachel. It was nice to see you at bowling again and of course, it’s common knowledge that having fun isn’t hard when you’ve got a library card. I think you’ve come a long way too on your path this year and that’s uplifting to see. 

Holy Family Catholic School? That one will take me a while to get used to. 

I hope you two have an excellent Bad Bitch 2022. Hashtag it if you need to.

21. Not Dead Yet - Lord Huron

Shannon, this one is obviously your track. 

Hopefully in this weather, you’re making good use of that Comfy. Especially after you took this year to move into a new sparkly apartment downtown. 

I did eventually follow your advice and treated myself. Thanks for that. Hoping to do so more often. 

You could probably tell I was a bit nervous reading to your class of grade 3s - I didn’t know how loud the Google Meet was, so I felt like I should be a bit heavy on the volume, but then it’s kind of strange reading that loud...in summary, I overthought it all per usual. Lilly said I was good, she was behind the computer. 

That was probably the most well-behaved class of students I’d ever seen though. That tells you the teacher is probably top notch. 

Thanks to Dugs, I had my first ever drink from Remedy Café. Which I believe officially makes me a white girl. I think that’s how it works. 

I always, always, leave something behind in your vehicle. That tradition is not dead yet.

You always keep me guessing Shannon. That’s not changing anytime soon.

20. Weekend Run - Unknown Mortal Orchestra

To be fair, Anna and I don’t run - we do more of a weekend walk. 

Remember when the weather was nice enough that you could WALK OUTSIDE???

Anna and I have deep philosophical talks about life’s greatest mysteries. 

Or, we talk about hot celebrities. It can’t all be about saving the environment okay? Harry Styles is waiting out there for you and he even wrote you a delicious song! 

I don’t use TikTok. Anna owns TikTok. 

One of the first texts I sent this year was to Anna complaining about the government staffers fucking off to Hawaii and the Caribbean. There were a lot of “shoulder to cry on because what is happening!!!” exchanges.

Anna got to go to a wedding this year, and Toronto. She also painted an awesome Midsommar portrait because she’s a wizard with a brush.  

When Anna isn’t texting me about booking her booster before me...WEIRD FLEX OKAY?? - she’s an amazing listener and someone who I go to all the time for perspectives and well thought out opinions. We can talk about literally anything and I’ll come out of the conversation having learned something. It’s a valuable trait and Anna does it with compassion and sympathy. 

If we go to the roller rink, you know I have to probably drive us there right? We’ve never done a driving hangout, we were the two holdouts on having a car left! I’m looking forward to us both going through whatever torture the world manifests next. 

19. Mirror - Sigrid

I’d like to thank Kaylin for her Instagram post highlighting her struggle with Body Dysmorphia Disorder and what she goes through.

I’m not going to get into the full story but for those of you who don’t know, I also have BDD. I’ve had it since about grade eight. It can definitely be a struggle, and anyone who wants to know more can hit me up and ask. 

It was weird seeing someone else I know have it for the first time in my life. It helps though to know that someone is going through the same thing you are. 

Everyone deals with something. The point is to understand each other, communicate and learn from one another. 

Oh, and have as much fun as we can. That’s the most important part. It’s easy to forget some of the shit we deal with if we can have fun. So, I thank everyone involved in this top list for helping me forget about the bad stuff. 

18. I Am Water - July Talk

“He’s like a fish out of water...IN the water!”

Remember that one Shaye? Also, remember when I took you out thanks to the Cowboys D? Tyreek Hill even tried to help you but alas, not meant to be. RIP Derrick Henry.

The king of the Toronto Rock of the NLL, Shaye is just getting started in his media career, especially with his newly found contacts.

Hell, 2022 may be the year he finally sees a Calgary Flames cup. Yuck.

Through all the last minute requests and bullshit, Shaye does it all and stays afloat. He really adopted the “not over until it’s over” saying that we kept from NAIT. You are fresh full of good ideas and would be fun to see on air, if they finally give you that shot someday. I hope someone does.

In the meantime, maybe you can make it to the World Series of Poker and buy us a way into an NHL organization? Just a thought.

Thanks for listening to all my rants man. Let’s keep fighting.

17.  Come in Closer - Rhye

I mean Christian, this was on your most played Spotify list so it’s only justified. Also, it has come in the title. Giggedy. 

I remember we talked for a few hours about our March Madness picks and you didn’t even consider Ohio State, I have no idea what you were thinking. But I don’t blame you for Illinois, I heavily considered it. 

You can talk to Christian about literally anything. Movies, music, life...it doesn’t matter, I always know he’ll listen to every word and provide really good and entertaining feedback to it. 

It wasn’t the easiest year to be an inside brown guy. Christian tried to do his best to safely navigate the pandemic even more than myself. I have to give massive respect to him for that. We really learned how everyone loses their shit in this scenario and Christian is a strong willed guy who powered through to the end. I really appreciated that you tried to stick with the Whitecourt trip with me and that you listen to my drunk uncle rants. 

But he HATES Interstellar. Aw man. Like this guy is just the biggest Christopher Nolan hater on the planet, right? If you don’t know Christian, he just adores Terrence Malick. Now there’s a damn artist. Chef’s kiss. He’s also so excited for Morbius. 

Never feel bad about asking me to hang out - you’re one of my favourite friends to talk to and be around. It’s always a fun time and I hope we get to more often in 2022. 

I owe you a new mask though. I dropped the ball, looked everywhere and can’t find it. We also should do some kind of Five Nights at Freddy’s VR night just to see Ronan shit his pants. 

16. The angel of 8th ave - Gang of Youths

Samantha, this isn’t a ranking of people - it’s a ranking of songs. 

That being said, I put you one ahead of Christian so you can tease him about it later. Lol. 

Sam continues to be a superb friend and one of the nicest human beings around - as close to an angel as it gets. We had a great catch-up dinner at Browns (ahem, the restaurant) where literally everyone also showed up uninvited. 

Samantha had a year of exploration herself. She had the sketchiest job ever that sounded like it was a horror movie - but now has a real interesting job with the Justice and Solicitor General Visitation Centre helping connect families to people who are incarcerated. One day, one of those big arguments over the phone will probably be Drew and Christian fighting about who stole cereal from his cabinet. Quick trip to jail cause it’ll get violent, but they’ll kiss at the end. 

Sam also joined the YEG Cycle gang and had one of the best quotes of the year, about trying to beat KBodSwag and Mike in March Madness. 

“It’s a bittersweet feeling when you’re simultaneously rooting for your loved one but also wanna see them get stomped cause winning feels good”

I hope life gives you plenty of wins Sam in the upcoming year. You deserve it. 

15. Missing Piece - Vance Joy

Giving Ben & Chelseay a Vance Joy song because...duh. 

Ben is still the cutest human being alive. He was also my go-to guy for the municipal election ranting (long live Bob Russell) and you can forward all your complaints to him, Stony Plain residents. He loves it. He’s probably playing Clash of Clans at this exact second. 

He’s dating Chelseay, who I knew right away would be one of the coolest humans as soon as she introduced herself. “Cheesy” Chelseay brings that friendly Halifax energy to everyone she comes across and has an infectious personality that makes it really easy to talk about anything with her. 

Chelseay got a phenomenal opportunity to move to British Columbia for a few months to help people who lost their homes to environmental disasters last year. It’s perfect for Chelseay to flex her kind heart to lend a hand and to also add to her resume down her ideal career path. I can’t wait to hang with you more when you get back to this province. 

It’s also super impressive to see how much Ben has already accomplished as a project engineer. His future is only brighter from here. I know you likely asked Santa for a more consistent golf game in 2022 - so did I.

Best wishes to you both! There aren’t many missing pieces for either of you to have great success. 

14. CORSO - Tyler, the Creator

Saved this one for you Lew. CORSO blasted in our rental car in Kelowna. 

Matty says the most ridiculous shit. It’s mostly hilarious. He also can get pretty philosophical and it led to excellent discussions. 

Matt finally realized this year that the BBQ Crunch is a great burger and he should have ordered it in the first place instead of the Dino Burger or whatever the hell that was. 

I was going to put a bunch of ridiculous quotes on here but man, some of them I just can’t add. Like building a bridge in Catan, or stuff about atomic bombs and nukes on the gram. Or the full Gambler. What a bust at the end. 

Matt was in almost every video chat we did in the first half of 2021. I probably didn’t talk to anyone more in that time period face-to-face. I still can’t agree that Joonas Korpisalo would do anything for the Oil, I’m sorry. But I can agree that you can throw up a mean X. Matt also is now a ref, as long as his bone spurs don’t kill him. He helped support youth employment with his role with ACES armchairs too. 

CRAB BATTLE!

Cheers to sending it for another year. Here is a pic of Matt’s puppy, Murphy. 

 13. LUMBERJACK - Tyler, the Creator

Two Matts, two Tyler tracks. 

Matt Mosewich usually has some kind of beard going, which is close enough to a lumberjack. 

We at least got to see two awesome World Juniors games at Rogers Place until shit hit the fan. 

If I were hiring a staff for a front office for a hockey team, you’d be first on my list. I’m not Chayka’s bitch anymore. Matt and I spend every day talking about the Edmonton Oilers and how we hate how right we are about them all the time. It’s just two guys who love a team so much that it physically hurts to see how mismanaged they are. Fuck. 

It’s hard to squeeze people in this league - freshly squeezed Ken Holland. 

BROOOOOOberg. Dave Tippett my god. Fuck you Jon. 

Hockey aside though, Matt and I are on the same wavelength on a lot of hot button issues and he makes me laugh a shit ton. Without the guy, I’d go clinically insane from bottling up my Edmonton emotions. But he’s also just a great friend in general too. 

I don’t know how to feel about Matt and Kyle joining the empire, but I wouldn’t be surprised to give into their power someday. 

Hoping your building gives you more peace and quiet this year instead of construction and gas leaks. If the Oil do ever win the cup, we’re going to cry like a bitch. 

12. You Only Live Twice - Drake, Rick Ross, Lil Wayne

You only live...twice? Well Kelly, as we texted about, the queen never dies as a lizard robot person. 

I’m sure you have taken note that the Kings are only two points back of the Oilers now. 

Kelly is a military man so you better damn respect him. He does know where the skeletons are buried at West Edmonton Mall - he knows where the dragon sleeps like a baby. 

If he ends up with the time, maybe Kelly takes a trip to East Asia or Europe. A big time trip where he just gets lost in the sauce. That could be one hell of a learning experience. 

I always enjoy our political chats or when we talk about how Duncan Keith is actually a biohacker. The pandemic definitely cut into our hangout time but also you just had a determined year chasing that bread and a dream. Can’t fault you there. You’re one of the brightest individuals out there and you’ll settle into a perfect spot for your skillset eventually. 

I hope you enjoyed Mass Effect: Legendary Edition with my tax dollars. 

11. help herself - bbno$, Diamond Pistols

Brenna is always offering up help, putting people ahead of herself. 

You haven’t had the easiest holidays, but I am confident sunnier days are ahead for you. 

Brenna is always working on a new piece of art. She loves creating projects depending on her mood. From Christmas ornaments to phone wallpapers to even glamouring up an incredible looking resume. You won’t find someone more creative and open about why they made something. 

There was also that small period where we thought you’d end up with many fans! Instead, you became a fairly knowledgeable bartender and mixologist - right now, The Black Pearl is where Brenna’s talents shine. 

Brenna took me on a cocktail adventure through Jasper Ave - including a secret speakeasy behind the bookshelf at Baiju. Or I guess, not so secret now because I just mentioned it. That was so much fun except for the dent in my wallet. 

Brenna is incredible at sticking beside her friends and trying to find where the fun is at in life. You can rely on Brenna to be there for you in thick and  thin. Looking forward to hopefully more mutually positive chats as our lives sort themselves out. Thanks for this picture by the way  - I hate so many of myself but this one is prime. 

10. Golden Restless Age - Kings of Leon

Brian Anda obviously gets restless when I’m not hanging out with him. 

Haha, jk.

Brian and I had a great lunch at La Crema Café, a place that we have strong history at. He almost chose Calgary over us but he just can’t leave the BOYS. I was so close to not doing the bottle thing but alas, I couldn’t help myself. 

Brian received every text from me about every NBA signing this summer. James did too actually. That was a lot of spam but hey, it was SUPER active. So much big time movement right?...to be fair, DeMar DeRozan is lighting it up for Chicago. 

Brian, Mati and I went for a lovely walk right when the Covid light of day was starting to show in the skies. I was happy to see Brian join the scrambles - and hope we can get some tee times down next summer. 

Mr. Shoulders is a loyal friend who understands where I’m coming from and I hope we can keep a friendship for a long, long time. 

I have a good feeling that in 2022, you’ll be checking a lot of boxes off your list. 

9. Fake Fame - Dear Rouge

Well Mitch, you won’t like this song at all so I will link a real banger for the people here. Ladies and gentlemen, The Claw is the Law. 

https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=640440240316078

Oddly, the caption says it’s The Pause, The Law - which sounds more like a Covid-19 song from earlier in 2021.

It was a year of progression for Mr. Stykalo. He moved to Kelowna after a big time new job opportunity. He went to Tower Ranch and ate incredible clubhouse food. His landlords smoke a lot of weed. 

We visited his place and it was quite nice but as expected, there are plenty of references to Hook. I think there were at least four. 

Eventually, Mitch wants to head out to Vancouver and I mean, who wouldn’t want to work there if they had the means? Plus, the concert scene would be pretty sick down there. 

It’d spark a guaranteed tour stop for Tower Hill. 

If it’s not Vancouver, you’re still going places man. That water slide company would have been gnarly. We see a lot of shit in the world in similar ways and I respect the conversations we have. Keep visiting periodically and hey, maybe I’ll see you in Whistler next summer. You’ll have to remind me when your company does their retreat. 

Also a shoutout to Austin, who introduced me to old 70s Kung Fu movies, which you can find on THIS YouTube channel. https://www.youtube.com/c/WuTangCollectionDope - full movies on here too!

8. Hurricane - Kanye West

Alex Matias and I almost got stuck in a hurricane in Erin Ridge. 

Okay, not quite, but the wind picked up right when we got into the car and then it just started POURING. We were sheer minutes away from getting sent to the shadow realm. 

We got into some perilous situations a few times this year. Even down by the library, we almost ran into a coyote pack waiting on the other side of the bridge. “I only see 2, if there’s 3 or more we’re fucked.”

“Oh shit, we’re in trouble.” Start running. 

I always enjoy adventures with Mati, even if it’s as simple as looking for a Halloween costume, softball gloves or walking around the city. 

Whether we’re discussing his future in education, which is a bright one, or Mart Kenney (lol), I usually come out of a dialogue having learned something from him. He’s also my Defunctland buddy - I have NOT watched the FastPass one but I will this weekend! 

Mati is simply one of the nicest guys you could ever meet. Can’t wait to see what’s next for you my man. 

7. Off The Grid - Kanye West

Evan is now OFF THE GRID! 

Why is that? Well, he left our province, our glorious nation of Alberta, for...Ottawa? 

What’s so special about Ottawa? Parliament? Pfft.

Seriously though, you took a brave leap and got into Carleton. I’m so proud of you man. Your path to CSIS is in the clear and I have no doubt that you’ll find your way there. 

And hey, you even got to see Gavi - that’s quite the special moment too ain’t it.

Evan is a winner. I mean, I’m pretty sure it’s in your contract that once you work at Winners, you are a winner for life. 

I’m going to miss our breakfasts and walks around St. Albert’s river valley. Whether it’s politics or life issues, we often find ourselves on the same page. Not only that, but you’re one of the greatest listeners I know. You hear what someone is saying and apply sound advice. You also laugh a lot at my downright shitty dad jokes. Even if it’s a sympathy laugh, I’ll take it! 

 I really appreciate you Donlevs. It was great seeing you at WEM. Come back once you and the other bureaucrats solve Covid-19 okay?

6. Fair Trade - Drake, Travis Scott

Hey Mike, I’ll trade you my shittiest bench guy for Alvin Kamara for the final. Fair?

Whenever I see Mike Serra, I get hyped and amped. I know I’m going to laugh a lot when entering a conversation with him. If he starts laughing, you start laughing. 

Mike is an observant guy. He sees some of the more subtle background stuff that I see. He’ll mention some really neat under-the-radar stuff cooking that makes me think differently. 

Midway Mike baby. 

That prank on Sam was ruthless. 

We both got to learn golf together, and even though we both suck, it was a lot of fun. Mike also knows my sleep schedule is insanity, so he can message me at any non-business hour and probably get a reply shortly. Hell, we even did a 3am late night drive. 

You had a year of reflection and I hope you find you’ve grown, because I think you have man. 

“Looks at Mike” “We’re gonna have to carry.” 

5. Time I Love To Waste - MAY-A

Czyz, I gave you a bop. Cause you love bops. 

I told you 4000 times you’d get into med school and oh look at who got into med school! 

Christi made the big move to Wales from Germany because she heard I have some Welsh heritage and wanted to meet more Klaks. There just happened to be a school there too. 

Boy, I’m stumped on what to say about this year. It was a bit of an emotional roller coaster for both of us. A lot of the BE HAPPY gif. TIGGERED. I know Canada is too uncultured for you now but I am MANIFESTING your return someday. 

I’m just really grateful to have someone like Christi in my life. She listens to me bitch all day and somehow isn’t annoyed! Maybe you’re insane, or just a magnificent friend. 

Remember we sang those country songs? You should show Marg the remix I made after that. I also want to see more of Drunk & Full of Sweets Czyz. So wholesome. 

We’ve both made so much progress, even if we don’t always believe it. No matter what happens in 2022, I just want you to know you have a supporter and believer over here through anything that happens. We’re in this fight together. 

Whether it’s a call where the internet cuts out at the top of the hour or a stream of audio messages, I love talking with you Czyz and it puts a smile on my face. 

It’s time that never feels wasted. 

4. Peach - Future Islands

Peach emoji. This song is for Aaron because he likes DAT ASS. 

Flem and I message each other absolute garbage every day. 

Remember how many memes I sent during the insurrection? 

Sometimes we actually hang out though in person too. Like when Flem came to my house in the Austin Powers mobile that ripped like a fart. 

SLAVE! SLAVE!

Aaron, this year is a new beginning. We get to start from scratch and that’s well needed. Aaron has a kind heart and is just a good bro. I don’t just talk to him daily for shits, it’s because he’s a funny dude. We rant to each other about anything and find the humour of it and then poo and pee. 2021 ended in a tidal wave of bullshit. I’m with you man as we try to navigate this next wave of diarrhea, we’ll find the promised land soon enough. 

I’ll probably never portage a canoe though in my life. You are crazy for that shit.

Time to let the animal out of the cage for 2022. Aaron is about to be UNLEASHED. 

3. That Funny Feeling - Bo Burnham

Ronan + Raphy, I don’t know what I did to deserve two incredible friends like you guys. I hit the jackpot I guess.  

I know I usually fill this up with inside jokes, but I wanted to take a moment to say I think it’s awesome how even though we’ve evolved as humans over the years, there’s just a special bond there. 

Raphy sent me a Cameo from Patrick Russell for my birthday. Friends for six years huh? PEGGLE 2! That was unbelievable. Raphy is also the best teacher hands down. Sometimes I can’t hang with Raphy because he’s on a family trip. Raphy also had the best bio on Instagram of all time. 

“Why are you looking at my profile Brennan?”

Ronan makes me laugh every damn day. I love turning to the guy and he’s got a shit eating grin on his face every time. He’ll always drive me to A&W too without question. (Speaking of....HIIIIII). Ronan now works at MASH, where he bartends and hopefully doesn’t have to walk into a blown up bathroom. That’d be stinky! 

Without you guys, I’d be the guy from ESSC speed dating. That would suck so bad. I’m already trying to avoid being a dad. For now. I need my boys who understand me when I say: I’m kinda digging the red nose right now. (Ronan just said okay, I bet). It’s an inconsistent hype train. 

“I know everyone is focused on...but I can’t keep my eyes off...”

I’m glad that even if the seasons change, I can always count on Raphy and Ronan to be there. They’re the absolute best humans a person could ask to be around. 

The big 3 forever. Well actually, big 4 forever, but Brian is stuck in line at Atco. 

Absolutely gooned. 

2. That Life - Unknown Mortal Orchestra

I am so grateful for the life I’ve been lucky to have - and so much of it is because of my parents unconditional love and support. It’s an honour having the parents I have as role models and people to aspire to be as I become a hopefully wiser and older adult myself. 

Thanks Mom, Thanks Dad - I love you. Thanks for being there for me and for the opportunities you’ve given me in my life. It’s a blessing to have you. 

Happy New Year Mom, JD and Lilly!

Happy New Year Dad, Lorelei and the girls!

1. The Bandit - Kings of Leon

Thanks everyone for reading, and have a wonderful 2022!