#so i tried to steer away from the convo and be like ‘ehh that’s not really a good idea for someone who’s had my type of food relationship’

[androidboy]

i love my gf dearly. but she is very much often oblivious to things and still not well informed in how to talk to someone who has struggled with eating disorders and body dysmophia for over a decade

#we had a conversation the other night and she asked if i wanted to get summer bod ready with her #and it’s been pvp me vs brain ever since. at the point where i must admit i was triggered #i knew when she said it 😭 i was like oh no this is gonna be bad #so i tried to steer away from the convo and be like ‘ehh that’s not really a good idea for someone who’s had my type of food relationship’ #and she was like ‘oh no but it’s not about eating! it’s about etc etc etc’ #and every comment she’s made about me bein soft in the tum is back and the thought loop of #wondering/ knowing i’d be more attractive to her if i lost weight again #fighting it so hard and i am not winning this battle and she’s feeling really shitty about stuff rn #so i don’t wanna say anything #ed tw