#so its massive guilt if i dont go see my grandparents while theyre still alive

[haahka]

i could pay big money to rush to see my family (and back) in a fully packed chaos train for 3 days over christmas, or i could actually rest for 4 days alone. decision needs to be made like now before the big money for the train tickets becomes even bigger money.

#i hate living like this. why do i not have anything better to do at this age. #so its massive guilt if i dont go see my grandparents while theyre still alive #but some the family relationships are so strained these days that itll be agony to have to spend 3 days with them all #and then go immediately back to work #theres no going back to how it was back in the day #but sitting home alone isnt exactly festive either. this is when i wish i had some sort of life the most #so there actually could be like. good options. not just 2 bad ones.