#society and like. sage u need to liberate urself from all of that and yea. dating apps not for me. i will just meet someone somewhere

[zhuhongs]

oh noninonononóooo

#dating apps give me the ick they give me the ickkkkk #also like given my weird judginess ik if it was up to me on a curated profile alone i will only go after ppl v similar to myself and that is #short sighted and a bad idea. and. yeaaa. too many white lesbians that kiss like fish on instagram yk the vibe like noooo thank uuuu #theyre all great ppl im sure but not for me #and then like. idk the whole sexuality thing where like. i mean i get crushes on men and like men occasionally #but like. no. the idea of ever being with a man feels disgusting and its nit me. like my one attempt at dating a man (that identified as #male at the time i met them at least) broke up with me bc he did not think i actually liked men i was just in a bad spot mentally so i dated #him. and like. I'm too scared to say what i like for myself so its almost like im waiting on permission from enough ppl to say that im a #lesbian in order to actually feel like one. and i most likely am. but i crave validation from men in a very specific way. not romantically #and def not sexually. i just want to be acknowledged bc i grew up in a heteronormative patriarchial world and to be seen as a man and #acknowledged by men is smth ive been taught to crave in order to feel secure and independent bc being a 'girl' is inferior in the eyes of #society and like. sage u need to liberate urself from all of that and yea. dating apps not for me. i will just meet someone somewhere #somehow #ok gn i have work at 7am